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What is your relationship to your thoughts?
We go out pretty regularly and we stopped fighting.
hi xmac, glad to see you here
so, do you ever take your thoughts out for dinner?
and if so, what do you expect in return? :laff:
Wow, I took last night to sleep on that one, and I'm glad I did. I like Xmac's answer so much better than mine.
But, to answer the question, my thoughts are like my older brother. A bit authoritative, a bit of a tease, a bit of a pain in the neck, a bit of a friend, a place where I go to get some feedback and advice, always "attached" to me in spirit and biology but not always "with" me physically.
I tend to lean on him WAY too much, so this year I'm going to try to only call him up when I want to.
I have been in an unfulfilling relationship for a long time. It isn't thoughts.... it is me. They want an exclusive relationship and I want to play the field. I will always love what attracted me in the first place. Perhaps one day we can be friends but for now I need my space. It was probably very insensitive and immature of me but I just didn't want an argument so I un-friended them Facebook this morning.
I test, evaluate and accept or reject them according to my beliefs and values. Then I may implement the desirable ones.
Let the silence suck up the truth ;)
Peace
Jill Sanders
1-2-11, 9:23pm
Sometimes I just want to beat the little devils over the head and make them go away!!!!
I just want them to go away. I've tried every Cognitive Behavioral trick in a number of books, but my thoughts won't leave me alone. Probably because someone from my (extended) family voices them at me all the time; then I have to defend my non-thoughts which are really my thoughts. Religion has been the only thing that somehow frees me from the thoughts that mock and torment me; and right now, I'm having a hard time with religion. Christmas ruined Christianity for me. It does every year. When my kids are raised, I'm going to Vermont and living on/off the land. Oh, wait--I can't, because I have aging relatives here! (see a thread someone just posted about caregiving on the Family forum; she is me.)
So, my thoughts and I have a very bad relationship.
For the most part, I like my thoughts and often learn from them. Even the not-so-good ones. (Of course, I realize that defining any thoughts as good or not-so-good is subjective, so those I call not-so-good are deemed so based on my own subjectivity. But since they are also my own thoughts, I'm okay with that!)
"Your thoughts"? Is there an "I" to be having thoughts?
ApatheticNoMore
1-3-11, 1:20pm
I enjoy being an introvert and kind of wrapped up in my own head, so I often enjoy my thoughts. Sometimes they get flooded with fear or hopelessness and then they really aren't on my side anymore.
I'm a blonde. What are thoughts? Um... what were we talking about?
winterberry
1-4-11, 12:57am
I think, therefore I am not.
And you, din? What is your relationship to your thoughts?
it seems to me that no matter what your relationship with your thoughts
being more aware of them and their effect on you is a good thing
"Your thoughts"? Is there an "I" to be having thoughts?
that's a good question bae,
what do you think?
I like xmac's response, too.
My thoughts are events that happen in time and space. If my thoughts get "my" attention (whose attention?) and I pile on more thoughts, then I can get lost in them. If my thoughts get my attention and I notice that I am thinking ("Thinking" says whoever it is in there that supposedly ISN'T thinking) then I can observe my thoughts and consider ("think about") whether I want to believe them.
After doing this for quite some time, a little nudge is all it takes...."Oh, that's a thought." This nudge allows me to back way off emotionally from whatever the content is. Which is the goal of cognitive behavioural therapy, at least in my understanding of it. Not necessarily spiritual but helps me to separate the monkey mind from the feelings that end up being more influential over my day, so to speak.
And of course, all of this is cognitive activity. Little spurts of electrical and chemical interactions going on in the brain and the body, and the mind desperately trying to make it all make sense.
I'm going to take a nap....(but who will be napping?)
L.
i have to say that although I have a commited relationship with my thoughts we are not exclusive. It is an open relationship and I often see other thoughts freely but always it just enriches my relationship with my own thoughts.
My thoughts are Free Range, somethines i use food to lure them back. But alas some have a mind of their own and wander off never to be thought off again. Sometimes my food for thought are hard to digest and i give them to the ruminants that come up to be chewed on for further consideration. i had more to say but i stepped of my train of thought and stopped to think and forgot to start again
i have to say that although I have a commited relationship with my thoughts we are not exclusive. It is an open relationship and I often see other thoughts freely but always it just enriches my relationship with my own thoughts.
i experimented with that once but i had jealous thoughts
Thinking. Believing that one can control it or that one is doing it is just another thought.
In my experience there is only one way in which thinking occurs: thoughts show up.
I used to think that I'm doing it. Because I would ask questions of my mind, I thought I'm thinking. But what made me ask questions? A thought that showed up, as is the question itself. And when answers come to me I think I did it, but it was just a thought that showed up. If it didn't show up, I might have another thought, like I can't think right now. But it's always thoughts showing up. When I'm not asking questions, thoughts just show up, one connecting to another.
It is the theater of mind and I'm just sitting here watching the "show-ing up", immersed in the spectacle of pattern that I make into ups and downs, black and whites and every conceivable grey area.
That's the part I think we might be doing: the believing. And by believing the whole world is created with the word. "In the beginning there was the word". Nothing exists without the believed thought or word. The world is form, it is a formation: in-form-ation.
Oh my. The moment I read your question, the Straw Man from the musical version of The Wizard of Oz popped into my head... "... oh, the thoughts I'd be thinkin', I could be another Lincoln, if I only had a brain..."
The massage school I trained at was a bit New Age-y and we often did meditations and self-empowerment exercises. One meditation, which I'll never forget was called...rats! I forgot what it was called--maybe the Witness exercise? Anyway, you were led in a meditation where you let go of your thoughts until you were witnessing yourself, your 'true self', as just a being without thoughts. It was very eye opening for me, just noticing myself there, not having any thoughts or opinions or wondering what the heck I was supposed to be doing here with my eyes closed. Turns out that without thoughts, I'm just an empty shell.
Although I try hard to keep my thoughts positive, I can be such a Debbie Downer about things. Usually my thoughts are pretty funny and I sometimes laugh to myself but I can sure put myself in a depressed state pretty easily. I guess I have a love-hate relationship with my thoughts. My monkey mind is forever chattering away about this and that. Perhaps that's why that meditation was so special to me----my mind finally shut up!
We go out pretty regularly and we stopped fighting.
Just wanted to correct the above: Thoughts fight among themselves, I never had anything to do with it except wait to see who won.
What fascinates me is that people declutter their home to feel better but actually the real clutter is within... in their minds. It's all the thoughts that harass you and won't leave you alone.
This interview can help you understand the relationship you could have with your thoughts:
http://www.oprah.com/own-super-soul-sunday/Full-Episode-Oprah-and-Eckhart-Tolle-on-Being-in-the-Now-Video
The massage school I trained at was a bit New Age-y and we often did meditations and self-empowerment exercises. One meditation, which I'll never forget was called...rats! I forgot what it was called--maybe the Witness exercise? Anyway, you were led in a meditation where you let go of your thoughts until you were witnessing yourself, your 'true self', as just a being without thoughts. It was very eye opening for me, just noticing myself there, not having any thoughts or opinions or wondering what the heck I was supposed to be doing here with my eyes closed. Turns out that without thoughts, I'm just an empty shell.
Although I try hard to keep my thoughts positive, I can be such a Debbie Downer about things. Usually my thoughts are pretty funny and I sometimes laugh to myself but I can sure put myself in a depressed state pretty easily. I guess I have a love-hate relationship with my thoughts. My monkey mind is forever chattering away about this and that. Perhaps that's why that meditation was so special to me----my mind finally shut up!
the way i see it, without thoughts you are not just an empty shell, you are also the aware presence in which all your thoughts and your whole life arises
chord_ata
11-16-12, 12:31pm
I have always wanted and still want an off switch for thoughts. They appear to be willful, disruptive little beasts.
In spite of that wish, they continue to chatter like monkeys. Sometimes, I can take economic advantage of their spontaneous erupting to spot business issues that need noticing.
Currently I am hoping that my insight meditation practice will continue to train my self awareness to less painfully endure the continuing thought storms.
"You are NOT the voice in the head."
~Eckhart Tolle
I have always wanted and still want an off switch for thoughts. They appear to be willful, disruptive little beasts.
In spite of that wish, they continue to chatter like monkeys. Sometimes, I can take economic advantage of their spontaneous erupting to spot business issues that need noticing.
Currently I am hoping that my insight meditation practice will continue to train my self awareness to less painfully endure the continuing thought storms.
in my own experience, there's no way to control or stop thinking, but there is one thing i can do i've noticed, i can be AWARE of my thoughts, which means i'm just the AWARE SPACE in which my thoughts arise, that's much different than me being completely lost in my thoughts, lost in IDENTIFICATION with them, when i do that, then i become my thoughts, or rather, my thoughts become me, and i believe them completely... this i've noticed can lead to a lot of suffering, especially when the thoughts are negative and limiting
i have to say that although I have a commited relationship with my thoughts we are not exclusive. It is an open relationship and I often see other thoughts freely but always it just enriches my relationship with my own thoughts.
if you take your thoughts seriously, if you believe them, if you IDENTIFY with them, then that is being completely lost and involved with them
there is an alternative, a quantum leap out of the thinking mind, out of the thought stream and just being AWARE of your thoughts
this is also called "mindfulness"
After years of working at it (if "work" is the right word, at a loss for another), I now mostly observe my thoughts from the balcony. Only rarely do they disturb or control me, any more than watching a play disturbs me. For the most part, my life is a series of "nows" that get along reasonably well with their past and future kin.
Occasionally, life is messy and my thoughts are like obnoxious children I wish weren't mine, and would toss off the island if I could.
But not often.
Tonglen meditation helps in those times.
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