International Relocation with Children - Advice/Help/Tips needed

[Elishi]

Hi everybody,

It's been a while since I've been on the forums. I've had some big decisions to make recently and I've pushed some things aside to figure it all out. Well, just like the title of the thread says, my husband and I have decided to move to England. He's originally from there and without telling you all every single details, we've been offered some really great opportunities for work. I'm excited and nervious and scared at the same time, but I think deep down it is excitement more than anything. I have been fortunate enough to have lived in many different countries in my lifetime but since having a familiy, we've been in more or less the same area. My children are very excited about the idea. We've been a few times as a family to visit and they absolutely love it there. I suppose as a parent, I just have to worry and hope that my excitement about the move doesn't prevent me from being realistic about the situation.

I wanted to know if there are other people that have relocated internationally? Has anyone done it with children? We are looking to be moved by late next summer so that the kids can start the new school year there. But there are so many things to think about that I'm sure I'm forgetting. First is the house. We have been to England enough times to know that Bournemouth on the south coast is a good area for us, but finding the right property and realtor is tricky when you are far. Fortunately, there is family not too far away that has offered to look at some properties in the area until one of us can get there to sort things out (If you are curious this is something we are looking at http://www.palmersnell.co.uk/forsaleoffice/Winton/1256 ). Are we making the right decision in trying to buy right away? I also have to keep reminding myself that houses are going to be different and smaller compared to American ones. It's just a lot to take in and I'm ready for the change but I wish I could just snap my fingers and be moved in already.

I'm sorry for the massive post, I just have so many thoughts running through my head and I had to get some of it out. But in all seriousness, any tips or advice about relocating and how to do so easily with a family would be amazing. The summer will be here soon and I need to have some sort of plan before I start panicking big time.

[IshbelRobertson]

I'm Scots, but have travelled a lot over the years because of my husband's job. Singapore, middle east and various mainland European companies. I have to say that, as a family, we all enjoyed the experiences we gained, although we knew that, eventually, we'd come home!

I don't envy you having to obtain a UK spouses visa, but at least your children have dual nationality, so it won't be as stressful as for some!

I know Hampshire/Dorset quite well as I lived in both counties as a child/young adult as my father was in the army and many of the larger military camps are in that area.

Bournemouth has great schools and I love that area, but prefer Poole, as we love boats!

Good luck with your proposed emigration! A great website for US immigrants is www.uk-yankee.com

[Tammy]

I've only moved within the USA. On our most recent move, it took 1-2 years to find which part of the city was our best fit. I would feel more comfortable renting for a year before taking on a big decision like house purchase.

[Dhiana]

As an ex-pat, I have lots of friends who make international moves with their children.

Every single one has stressed out waaaaay more than necessary about how their children will adjust to the move and the new location!

Relax, enjoy the adventure and they will, too. Here's a great article about how beneficial it is to get out of your comfort zone. It's titled about vacations but does go much, much deeper: http://hyperallergic.com/157757/can-a-vacation-really-make-you-more-creative/

Parents with children who are autistic, have learning disabilities, or have unique physical needs can provide well for their children in other countries. These conditions are not unique to the US. Of course, some areas within a country are better than others for unique needs.

What ages are your children? That might help others provide more specific advice.

[Elishi]

Thanks everyone for your comments.

Ishbel, it's nice to see someone else who knows the area. We've already started my visa process and I think it should be ok. I've heard some horror stories about how long it can take and I know immigration laws in the UK have gotten more strict in recent years. Fingers crossed that it goes ok. If not, I might have to go and help the family move in and then come back and wait to get my official spouse visa.

And we are still deciding about renting or buying at the moment. It's a lot to think about and I see positives and negatives with both. But perhaps you are right, Tammy, and we should rent for a little bit. My husband will be going there in a few weeks to meet up with people from his company to start working on the transition process, and he's going to go and spend a few days in the area looking for places. We are trying to arrange viewings on our side so that when he gets there it's all set up.

And I really do think my kids will adapt well (they are 12 and 7). I just don't want to just assume that they will be fine and get caught up with the move and make them feel neglected in any way. In the end, we are all very excited.

Thanks for the links. I'll be sure to have a look through them!

[Selah]

My only advice is to rent first, then buy if you want to. Don't be cowed by real estate agents who will tell you this is your one and only time to "get on the bottom rung of the property ladder." It's not. You will want to know the neighborhoods, the schools, the amenities, the parking, how well the local council operates (or doesn't), etc. Be in the area for at least a year. And stay long enough so you can get permanent residency, so, if one day you and your husband split up, at least you will be able to live near your kids and grandkids (!) if you so choose. Think "long game" on this one...it's a GREAT opportunity for you and your family! I lived in England for the total of about three or four years in various spells of time, and absolutely loved it.