argementative employees

[Zoe Girl]

I have 2 people who are not really cooperative when they need to be talked to about work. I am the upper supervisor and so there is an on-site lead teacher in each case. One is pretty obvious to me, she does not respect her younger manager. She has shown disrespect in other ways as well like telling her own child she should hit someone when they have conflict (she is a teacher assistant in our program and supposed to be modeling good problem solving skills). Right now we are just keeping records of this for a more serious talk but covering all the bases beforehand.

The other is a young lady who seems to have low social skills in general and low confidence. So the lead teacher called me before and after a conversation yesterday about propping the gym door open while they had students playing outside. It seems that each time the lead teacher said anything the assistant came back with some type of excuse or mild argument. Argh,

So I am going to look for resources on how to approach this one. I think she is a nice young lady but she is not getting it (that her lead teacher WILL tell her to do things different) and most of all we just need her to do things the way we ask. Any great ideas? I am thinking a more direct approach that doesn't really leave room for the excuses.

[iris lily]

I have 2 people who are not really cooperative when they need to be talked to about work. I am the upper supervisor and so there is an on-site lead teacher in each case. One is pretty obvious to me, she does not respect her younger manager. She has shown disrespect in other ways as well like telling her own child she should hit someone when they have conflict (she is a teacher assistant in our program and supposed to be modeling good problem solving skills). Right now we are just keeping records of this for a more serious talk but covering all the bases beforehand.

The other is a young lady who seems to have low social skills in general and low confidence. So the lead teacher called me before and after a conversation yesterday about propping the gym door open while they had students playing outside. It seems that each time the lead teacher said anything the assistant came back with some type of excuse or mild argument. Argh,

So I am going to look for resources on how to approach this one. I think she is a nice young lady but she is not getting it (that her lead teacher WILL tell her to do things different) and most of all we just need her to do things the way we ask. Any great ideas? I am thinking a more direct approach that doesn't really leave room for the excuses.

Everyone always has excuses, explanations, etc. That's fine, they get to talk. But your job is to listen, nod, let them know that you heard it--and steer them back to your directive. You ask them to do X. Their job is to do X. If they don't do X they are not doing what you want them to do. There are consequences.

Will they do it? Sometimes yes, sometimes they'll do part of X, sometimes they will do X sometimes and not other times. All of those instances of not doing X is yours to address.

[Zoe Girl]

Yeah, I was hoping there was a way to cut through to ' no more excuses we are going to do X '. The second person just seems young and new at working so was hoping to teach her some better ways of relating. Still she has gotta do thigns this way

[Merski]

Could she actually be bringing up legitimate points but doesn't know how to present her thoughts well? Just a thought.

[Zoe Girl]

Hmm, I think she may think it is legitimate but I cannot agree. When she was propping the door open middle school students came into the building to use the gym after all. Another case she said she was frustrated with the kids and her lead teacher did agree it was frustrating but still reminded her we need to be professional and model our best behavior.

I wonder if this is a low work experience kind of deal where she doesn't realize that she is not have a discussion with an equal level employee but actually being given a directive by the person who supervises her? Or maybe a background of not ever being taught how to do things like this, it seems (sorry to be blunt) we are dealing with a young lady who comes from a poor background, has been most likely in an abusive relationship and is young. With my own daughter (after experience with her dad) I have had to work hard because any even slight suggestion she gets defensive so I tell her often that it is not a case to be defensive, just listen and then talk with me. The immediate defensiveness usually means they stop listening very quickly.

[Merski]

I'm not a supervisor, just a subordinate at work. I was putting myself in her shoes.

[Zoe Girl]

Oh that is okay, I like the young lady and think she has potential but does need more training overall in many ways. It is good to hear the opinions of people in various roles on this because I want to be respectful but I also have to back up my lead teacher in an important request. Often the supervisors have a lot of things they know they must do in certain ways and we can't always explain it all, but we can be mindful of how we approach it.

[herbgeek]

No one I know likes taking orders or being told what to do, and we're not all poor. Most of us like to be treated like adults, and have it explained why something needs to be done and if we're dense, maybe why what we are doing isn't going to accomplish the goal. I understand that in emergency situations, that may not always be possible.

Also, people who are good at their jobs often have found good tips and tricks to do their work more effectively. If a supervisor were to tell me a particular way to do something that would be less effective, I feel its my obligation to at least let them know that, in the most politically acceptable way of course. I don't feel that's disrespect, unless a disrespectful tone was used. That doesn't apply in your particular case I don't think, just sharing why someone might do what you view as "talking back".

[mira]

^ Seconded, herbgeek.