View Full Version : Recovery from stress
Picking up from another thread, has anyone had any experience in how long it takes the body to recover from stress and shock? After the given year I have had, I am 10 months in and still feel blah. Leaving my job has been a tremendous help but I still feel knocked down. I am slightly depressed (diagnosed by doc). My question is-What recovery techniques could be valuable? Lessons learned? Foods? Vitamins? Lifestyle changes?
Between losing 2 immediate family members, leaving my career of 20 years and some other small stuff, I just feel worn out. Suggestions?
I went through a similar stress-filled time when I was younger - mother, father, little brother (my best friend) - all passed away within three years - and other life-changing stuff. To be honest, it took me about three years to be able to look back and wonder "what happened." I think if I had understood more fully at the time that every thing eventually passes and life goes on, although differently, it wouldn't have taken so long. Over that period, I saw a counselor and that helped but not much. Changed my diet, quit smoking, began walking. Baby steps...everything is good now.
I took a stress ride for most of the last year and half. Like I never knew I was strong enough to handle. Never dreamed I would have to. I thought when the Crazytrain stopped I would be ok, but I was drained. I took two months de stress timeout I had to stop everything. It was so hard to get back to good. In hindsight the stress leaving my body took about six months. The last two I worked very hard on getting myself back. i would get on my bike, I would run, do all I used to do and it just felt like motions, then one day I felt good again.
Stay strong and may peace be with you.
Tussiemussies
12-16-14, 5:24pm
Hi Greenmama,
So very sorry to hear of the series of events you have gone through. It must be so tough for you. I can only imagine.
After reading your post I though you may possibly have adrenal burn out. The book "Prescriptions for Natural Healing" goes into natural care for that and they also have a section on depression too.
Maybe w as lking long distanes will help give you a lift, of course you prob as bly have to build up to Dr hat.
Best wishes to you I hope you are feeling much better soon.
PS What is your diet like?
10 months really isn't very long. Not only are you recovering from the job, but you are also having to redefine yourself outside of that job. Though my job-related depression is gone, I still find myself waking up most mornings feeling quite anxious. Sometimes I do have actual anxieties such as upcoming exams or the need to make a phone call, but other times there are no real immediate concerns. Sometimes I'm just feeling unstable and not really believing that everything isn't going to just come crumbling down around me again at any given moment. Just giving myself time and permission to rest and sleep has been helpful.
Vitamin D3 has been particularly helpful to me with managing my energy. When I was feeling very sick and worn down, my doctor suggested it and I've been taking it ever since. I do believe it has helped as I did regain some of my energy even when I was still hanging on at my job. If you haven't already done so, you may want to get a blood test to determine if you're deficient in any vitamins and then get those back into balance.
Work on creating a pleasant, less stressful environment for yourself. Decluttering, getting organized, simplifying...all helpful. Is there anything in your environment causing you stress? Get rid of it. Even a small object that has negative memories attached to it is still invading your peace of mind and causing stress. You may even want to avoid certain activities. For example, someone on a different forum decided to stop watching during TV/movie time anything violent, sad, or crime-related and instead only watched comedies for an entire year. Doing so helped clear out anxious and negative worries that had been causing him a lot of stress.
Most of all though, give yourself the time you need.
Recently read an article regarding the diagnosis for excessive grieving in the psychological diagnosis manual (DSM something?) It talked about it being over a year for an adult. It didn't go into what it is for more than one loss plus additional major stressors in ones life.
As a layperson, I'd say you're perfectly normal going through a difficult time :) Take the previous posters advice, hang in there and your days will become brighter again.
ApatheticNoMore
12-16-14, 6:26pm
Recently read an article regarding the diagnosis for excessive grieving in the psychological diagnosis manual (DSM something?) It talked about it being over a year for an adult.
I think it was the hoarding article. I just rolled my eyes at that when reading it because whether or not one's grief is excessive seems to me the type of thing that could only be known intuitively anyway (by honest introspection - shrug) and it seemed to want to impose external measures. Crying and stuff is primary grief (sadness a basic not complicated emotion) and lasts what it lasts. I think grief is a very different emotion than stress but I guess I could imagine them getting tangled, like there's basic grief and then there's cleaning out and selling the deceased persons house or something that may come with the situation.
As for stress, it doesn't last that long to me, but it doesn't stop immediately either. Because it physically depletes, I believe it. Like saying I'm stressed over an interview. After the interview is over, I've had a massage (recommended of course), I should be all better right? Nope. Because if I was stressed over it for a few weeks before say, it burns out stuff physically so the recover isn't an immediate bounce back, but 2-3 weeks later I've maybe bounced back. But that's not a chronic month after month of chronic stress thing, or a trauma after trauma thing for loss after loss, it's approaching PTSD territory then probably.
SteveinMN
12-16-14, 8:16pm
When I left my old job, I spent three solid months doing just household chores and getting used to not being interrupted over 100 times an hour. I think I spent most of my non-chore time either in bed or sitting on our sofa. It took that long until I felt like working some more on my business and getting back to people for lunches, etc. At that, it took some time to get back to something resembling a schedule.
Thanks y'all.
I feel like this past week, I may have turned the corner a bit. Feeling a little more peppy, creative. Nothing extravagant or anything but upright and trying. :)
I will try the Vitamin D thing. I did spend more time outside this week than normal, so maybe that helped?
I also am going dairy free this week and lots of broths and water with lemon.
Oh and yes..the small item is my mom's ashes. I asked them not be sent to me and boom..one day they showed up. It's like they keep ripping that band aid off. I have plans to let them go at the beach she once loved to go to here in Texas but plans for that trip are months away. Right now, I seriously said a prayer of binding good light around them and to protect my family. Kooky but true.
The rest I am not stressed over. I mean, it would be nice to have a little more money to get debt paid down faster but I am not freaking out over it. Just keep going. I know what I want career wise and I refuse to do it someone else's way, if that makes sense. Spent way too many years doing it for someone else. Now I am doing it for me on my terms and I won't compromise.
I am literally learning to take it one day at a time. What food do y'all recommend? I also have been doing yoga and it's helping. Small steps. smalllll steps. :)
rodeosweetheart
12-17-14, 6:58am
About the ashes, I think that's a really important realization. I wonder if it would help you to make that trip to Texas a bit sooner--are you coordinating around family or doing it by yourself?
It's funny about ashes--my grandparents were both cremated and my parents have held on to the boxes all these years, and within the next couple of years, they will probably join them. I am thinking of buying a family ash burial plot, maybe at Bonaventure, since they lived in Savannah, and going down there and laying everyone to rest. I have even priced the cemetary lot. Weird, but I think it is grieving deferred, and there is something healing about laying folks to rest.
And it sounds like you are definitely on a healing path, with lots of great choices, like the yoga and all! Diet is so individualized--I have gone periods of wheat free at recommendation of my allergist and it has helped me, but I keep falling off the wheat wagon. Time to try it again, I think.
As to job, I think Steve gives some really interesting insights. I have been too chicken to quit my HSSJ but it made me feel better to hear that he actually lay around for 3 months becuase that is what I am doing, when not involved in HSSJ and I find it very encouraging to think this is a natural process of letting go, and maybe there is life on the other side.
SteveinMN
12-17-14, 9:48am
I have been too chicken to quit my HSSJ but it made me feel better to hear that he actually lay around for 3 months becuase that is what I am doing, when not involved in HSSJ and I find it very encouraging to think this is a natural process of letting go, and maybe there is life on the other side.
rodeosweetheart, that three months was preceded by months of going to work, going to sleep, and getting the bare minimum done in between simply because there wasn't the energy to do much more. If the HSSJ is taking that much out of you and you can't leave it quite yet, what else can you do?
I will note that I realized some years ago that even the folks at work who were "offered" retirement before they were planning to go ended up happy they left. Part of that, of course, was a reflection on the dynamic of our workplace. But part of it was a confirmation that the vast majority of them ended up solidly on their feet despite wondering if they really were ready, financially or emotionally.
bekkilyn
12-17-14, 10:41am
I haven't taken a vacation outside of my home in years because of being so worn down and exhausted from my former job. While I was still working there, all of my vacation time was used to spend days recovering my energy at home by myself. I just didn't have it in me to deal with going somewhere else and coping with all the hassle of travel and other people. In fact, I didn't want to be around other people at all and just wanted to be left alone with no one bothering me.
lessisbest
12-17-14, 3:55pm
It's been my experience that you never quite get back to your old "normal" after stressful times - you acquire a new normal instead. Caring for my parents and mother-in-law cut my life short by at least 10-years due to the stress of it all - never again will I destroy myself like that again. Those scars from life happening will forever and always have a place in my mental rolodex, and thankfully the old stress is replaced with new things to focus on, and the old things thankfully fade.
The other thing I've noticed is that it takes less stress the next time. It’s like you have a new limit for stress that will never be as much as what you had before. I am very guarded not to get involved in anything that will cause me tremendous stress anymore. I’d rather spend my time on positive things.
As far as nutrition that helps combat stress….
- Kick the caffeine, especially if you developed a reliance on caffeine to combat the fatigue caused by stress. Caffeine raises the levels of stress hormones.
- If you suffer stress-related fatigue, choose foods rich in iron – beef, spinach, raisins, and molasses (among others). These foods are also high in folate and will help with stress-related exhaustion.
- Choose foods high in vitamin C and magnesium. I found using Magnesium Oil on my skin very helpful.
- B Complex is helpful in improving symptoms of irritability, stress and fatigue. If I start to lose a lot of hair due to stress, I know I need to address my B vitamins.
- Bach Flower Essences are a good “friend”. As Dr. Edward Bach put it, ‘Health depends on being in harmony with our souls.’ These remedies are support when experiencing depression, anxiety, traumas and other emotional factors.
Aqua Blue
12-17-14, 6:59pm
Good points lessisbest. Where do you get magnesium oil? I used to soak in a tub of Epson salts, but the bath tub at this house is much harder for me to get in and out of. I can do it and should, but always put it off. Off topic, but you mentioned using tomato flakes to make tomato sauce in another thread, can you tell me where you get those?TIA
Rodeosweetheart, I have thought a lot about the changes in funeral customs over the past few years. It seems like a lot of people I know have been cremated and not had a funeral. That seems to make closure harder, in my observation. I think the lack of funerals plays a roll in that and leaving the ashes on the fireplace for years adds to that.
My childhood was very stressful for many reasons and then I married into a situation that was in many ways the same and also very stressful(alcohol abuse). I finally left that marriage 20 years ago. I felt like for the first 40 years of my life I never let down my guard. I felt like I never slept soundly because you never knew when all h could break loose. I know have a autoimmune disease and I think while it didn't cause it, it was most certainly increased because of the stress.
When my little brother passed, I just couldn't deal with the ashes. He died from AIDS and I was his primary caretaker for several years back when the disease was considered a horrible thing. I would not wish that whole experience on anyone. I was SO grateful when another relative stepped in and offered to scatter the ashes to the places he requested.
It's been my experience that you never quite get back to your old "normal" after stressful times - you acquire a new normal instead. Caring for my parents and mother-in-law cut my life short by at least 10-years due to the stress of it all - never again will I destroy myself like that again. Those scars from life happening will forever and always have a place in my mental rolodex, and thankfully the old stress is replaced with new things to focus on, and the old things thankfully fade.
The other thing I've noticed is that it takes less stress the next time. It’s like you have a new limit for stress that will never be as much as what you had before. I am very guarded not to get involved in anything that will cause me tremendous stress anymore. I’d rather spend my time on positive things. ...
.
'
I agree. I thought after The Year From Hell (TM) everything would be gravy from then on. I didn't become invincible, I became gun shy. It seems like I developed a mild form of PTSD. Avoiding stress is one way to deal, but I doubt it's the best way.
rodeosweetheart
12-17-14, 7:44pm
Steve, I am definitely working on my escape plan, so that I am not going off to nothing, but rather following a plan into new career direction. And I think I better put dates on the plan, so it is a real plan, with a real time of departure. I was talking to my boss last week, my great new boss, the one bright spot at the job, and she told me that last week she had drafted her resignation letter but then had been talked out of it, and something went off in my brain--something is not right, and I really do need to get that escape plan in place. It's just that I have been so enervated by the job. But I am working on that, and the ensuing depression.
Pinky, I am sorry for the loss of your brother; that must have been incredibly hard.
Aqua, I agree with you about the funeral customs, and the failure to get closure from the ashes, if they are not interred or scattered--if they remain on the fireplace mantel, although that I suppose is the choice of some. But it seems to be a way to not let go. When I am in Savannah I feel the presence of my grandparents so strongly, almost fifty years after they have gone, and I wonder if they might need something from me, to lay them to rest. I was doing some genealogy stuff on Ancestry and I discovered a month or so ago that my grandmother's funeral had been at a different church than I had thought-- and it was actually a church I had been to within the last 2 years, where my husband had subbed and been offered a job. I really, really liked the church and felt drawn to it--only to find a month ago that it had been the church my grandmother had belonged to in the last years of her life, and where her funeral had been. I had been considered too young to go to the funeral and had been taking swimming instead (how's that for a different era in child rearing) so I hadn't been to that church for her funeral. It was so eerie to know I had been there so many times and not known it was her church. We emailed the parish assistant just to check and she wrote us right back after confirming the details of the funeral.
They did not have a columbarium in 1966, but I think they have one now! So weird.
awakenedsoul
12-17-14, 7:54pm
It sounds like you are still grieving. Everyone heals in their own time. I've been going to acupuncture, and it's been amazing. She told me that it unblocks the energy freeways in the body. I can really feel what she's saying. It's interesting how the nerve pathways work. I think getting out of debt and building up savings will help, too. When I had business debt and cc debt, I was very anxious and worried.
It's good that you are doing yoga. The meditation and relaxation are really healing. I'm all for going to bed early, and getting extra sleep in the winter, too. It's a nice time to hibernate.
Rescue Remedy and Star of Bethlehem are good Bach flower essences for trauma and grief. I find it also helps to make the house very comfortable and nurturing. Cooking delicious meals and warming beverages is soothing. Hot baths with epsom salts and essential oils feel great, too.
Another thing that helps me to de stress is to fix everything in the house that's broken. I'm working on that now, and the work that was done today made me feel twenty years younger! I hate it when things the house gets run down...it's depressing.
Hope you feel better.
Thank you all.
I ordered some vitamins and some essential oils to get me going again. I think this has all been part of my elimination of a lot of things in my life- material or otherwise. I do feel I am just tapping into a new me and something great is coming down the corridor, it's just some days just plain suck.
I will take the ashes in the spring. I can't get to the coast right now. For now, she is hanging out on the frig. I never really thought about what to do with someone's ashes. I had a friend go through the same thing but they didn't take the ashes. They figure she was gone and that was that.
I have really been looking into alternative health and living a more zen life. I came to grips with my spirituality vs. religious side this year. I realized while I do have my religious belief system, I feel more connected to life in a spiritual way. I used to be called the "zen" hippie and my lifestyle was one that was simple, non material and very happy. I made my own "Beauty" concoctions, ate a mostly vegetarian diet and was doing exercise everyday, meditation, always getting outside and volunteering with animals. IT really was a wonderful way to live. I am working my way to an updated version of that.
lessisbest
12-18-14, 4:49am
Good points lessisbest. Where do you get magnesium oil? I used to soak in a tub of Epson salts, but the bath tub at this house is much harder for me to get in and out of. I can do it and should, but always put it off. Off topic, but you mentioned using tomato flakes to make tomato sauce in another thread, can you tell me where you get those?TIA
Rodeosweetheart, I have thought a lot about the changes in funeral customs over the past few years. It seems like a lot of people I know have been cremated and not had a funeral. That seems to make closure harder, in my observation. I think the lack of funerals plays a roll in that and leaving the ashes on the fireplace for years adds to that.
My childhood was very stressful for many reasons and then I married into a situation that was in many ways the same and also very stressful(alcohol abuse). I finally left that marriage 20 years ago. I felt like for the first 40 years of my life I never let down my guard. I felt like I never slept soundly because you never knew when all h could break loose. I know have a autoimmune disease and I think while it didn't cause it, it was most certainly increased because of the stress.
Aqua Blue -
I get magnesium oil on-line from Swanson Vitamin.
Tomato powder is almost a miracle in a jar for those of us who do home food storage. A teaspoon of tomato powder, plus water, a drizzle of honey, little oil, and Italian or Pizza seasonings will make enough pizza sauce for a small 8-inch pizza (or one made on a tortilla). Use a tablespoon of tomato powder for a large pizza. To make tomato paste: mix 3 parts water with one part powder. For tomato sauce: 4:1 ration of water to tomato powder. I purchase it in #10 cans. To give it a try you can purchase it in smaller amounts from The Spice House http://www.thespicehouse.com/spices/tomato-powder. You can make your own tomato powder by dehydrating tomato skins until they are crispy dry and then store them in a canning jar with a tight-fitting lid. Wait to pulverize it when you need to use it. It's not as concentrated as the commercial tomato powder and you will need a 1:1 ratio of water and powder for tomato paste and a 1:2 ratio for tomato sauce. Pulverize in a coffee/spice mill.
I am tackling a somewhat huge lifestyle change, starting this week with research. I am going to go back to my vegetarian ways and incorporate it into my family. This should be fun. I found a recipe that I can use tonight and I am going to see how it goes over. I was a vegetarian for 6 years when I was a teenager. It solved all my weight issues, skin issues, health issues and I glowed. I didn't do the meat or product replacements, I just ate a lot of salads, homemade dressings, fruit, oatmeal, simple pasta dishes, things like that. I could not afford the replacements and it made shopping really easy.
This will coordinate with trying to be more Earth friendly as well. I have been really good about using my reusable bags at the store and bringing my water bottle to fill up. I have also started using more natural products, mostly DIY stuff for skincare and haircare. I know I love doing this stuff, it makes me feel good, so +1 in the dealing with stress and getting better category.
Teacher Terry
12-18-14, 1:53pm
I would take your Mom out of the refri. Every time you open it to get something there is a reminder. I would put her in a closet until you are ready for the trip. My MIL said in passing one day (not that old & not expecting to die) that she wanted to be cremated & where she wanted her ashes to be spread. A few years later she died unexpectedly & my hubby put her urn on top of the tv cabinet. It was so sad. You could feel her presence in the room & one of my friends saw her sitting on the couch. I would start crying for no reason. Then I put her in the closet but when hubby got home took a look around & said "What have you done with my mother?" He put her right back in the same spot. Finally about 3 months after I told him your mother's last wish was not to sit on the TV although she loved TV. Within a month we made the trip to where she wanted to be & all the sadness disappeared. We were still sad about losing her but not the terrible feeling all the time.
She is on top, not in. It's up and away from everything for me. :)
Teacher Terry
12-18-14, 2:35pm
Oh good. Sorry I misunderstood.
That made me giggle...thank you. ;)
Teacher Terry
12-18-14, 2:43pm
what's for dinner? Oh look-there is Mom in the refri.>8)
Cryonic preservation on a budget! :)
Teacher Terry
12-18-14, 2:50pm
Silly laughter is good for the soul!
I went to a nutritionist and she gave me a list of things to have tested at a blood lab. She created a food and nutritional supplement program for me that worked great for regaining health and recovering from stress.
Some of her tips specific to me:
No grains (turns out I'm allergic to them)
No starch, high protein, high produce, low dairy, no caffeine diet
B12 shots every 4 days for a few weeks to get me back on track
really helped with stress
Multiple vitamin - a specific one high in Bs
Burpless fish oil capsules
Calcium, D, Magnesium
Pretty quick results. High protein and no carbs meant my energy went up very fast. Plus I lost weight slowly over time.
Allergies play a big part in my life. You might want to get tested for allergies. Something simple could be dragging your energy down.
Take 3 mg of melatonin, 300 mg of calcium citrate, 300 mg of magnesium citrate with a small amount of carbs and protein one hour before you want to go to sleep. This will relax your mind, muscles and nerves and since I'm trying natural remedies these days I would like to try these simple tips and remedies to get rid of stress and anxiety.
Eat more complex carbohydrates such as brown rice, wholegrain breads and cereals ..... complex carbs help boost your brain levels of the chemical serotonin, making you calmer and less stressed and depressed ~ but no less alert......... the brain has to work just that little bit harder when it is low in fuel to function properly and your energy levels wil also flag so eat more complex carbs.
Eat more foods rich in magnesium ie ~ leafy and green vegies, organic nuts and seeds such as almonds, brazil nuts and sunflower seeds, fresh fish such as tuna, salmon and sardines wholegrain breads and cereals like brown rice...... magnesium is known as the antistress mineral and will help level out your mood and anxiety levels enormously.
try eating 2 bowls full of green vegies (raw or lightly steamed as cooking devitalises them) daily like broccolli, kale, chard, celery, buk choy with cold pressed extra virgin olive oil drizzled over them for extra flavor and a sprinkling of pure sea salt and tell me you don't feel better ..... and i'm not even half joking here mate ...... seriously, give it a go and watch how your skin hair and eyes start to positively glow with health.
Leafy and green vegies, almonds, brazil nuts and sunflower seeds, tuna, salmon and sardines are all also rich in calcium ...... calcium rich foods will alleviate tension, irritability and promote relaxation.
Magnesium rich foods will also increase the production of hydrochloric acid in your tummy thus aiding in effective digestion and smoothing out any issues you may have with constipation or headaches and migraines........... and also help to lower hijgh blood pressure.
Eating foods rich in man made sugar such as candies, cakes, chocolate, icecream, lollies etc.etc.etc. will deplete your body of your B vitamins .... especially vitamin B1, which can bring on depression and anxiety and stress ..... Take a multi B complex supplement including all the B's ie ~ B1, B2, B3, B5, B6, B12 and folic acid choline inositol etc.etc. as they work best as a group... the B group of vitamins is essential for healthy neural, immune and digestive functioning and will help you much better deal with the stress of everyday living we are all exposed to at some level or another.
Cut out any soft drinks, sodas, pop, alcohol you may drink and cut right back on caffeinated drinks such as coffee and tea if you drink any as they will all dehydrate you terribly and rob you of your precious B complex of vitamins ......... drink at least 2 - 3 litres of fresh filtered water daily ...... you'd be amazed at how being just a little dehydrated can affect your mood and energy levels........ please drink up.
Other things that can rob you of your B complex of vitamins are stress, eating too much tinned food or processed sugar, eating too much protein and frozen fruit and vegies, taking antidepressants, antibiotics, otc cold and flu meds, laxatives and diuretics, antihistamines, oral contraceptives, eostrogen supplementation, prednisone, potassium supplements, pencillin.
but mostly you should focus on doing things that you really enjoy..... hey, it could be slam dancing around your living room to really loud RoCk music or chasing your mates or your children around the park ...... or even singing out loud when your fave song comes on over the loudspeakers at the shopping centre ...... anything really just so long as it puts a smile on your dial.
So If you're looking for some simple, effective and amazing home remedies for anxiety (http://olwomen.com/simple-yet-effective-home-remedies-for-anxiety/), just try these.
Melatonin causes nightmares in some after taking it for too many nights. Just a side note.
Gardenarian
3-27-15, 3:13am
Hi TxZen,
Long slow walks help a lot.
This is something I'm working through myself.
I wonder how much natural sunlight you are able to absorb everyday? Don't underestimate how much the climate may be keeping you down. A friend of mine recently returned from Florida to Massachusetts. She was gone for 3 weeks but when she came back, noticed right away her knees started to ache and she became congested. We have a damp, cloudy, cool environment. Florida has lots of sun and different climate. Of course, this time of year, the weather is milder. I make it a point to lay in the sun whenever I can to absorb Vit D and sunlight. Just sunlight. I struggle with a mild depression and find a dose of pure sun with no filters on the skin, does wonders for me in every way.
The other odd thing you might consider is having a colonic. I have a colon hydrotherapy at least twice a year to clear out old poo and mucus (spelling?). I look forward to what I call a flushing out of the digestive track at the change to spring and later to fall. I always feel much better after for quite some time. It's amazing how much stuff you might be holding on to internally. How do you get rid of old stuff? Flush with warm water at a professional's establishment.
I too believe that stress, depression and anxiety can be controlled by healthy lifestyle and healthy foods. You can use simple home remedies like healthy diet, avoiding unhealthy, junk and processed foods, exercise especially yoga and deep breathing exercises, getting quality sleep at night, avoiding negative thoughts and people and keeping the company of positive people who make you happy, involve in activities that make you happy are some of the simple home remedies for depression (http://olwomen.com/home-remedies-for-depression/) that really work like magic.
It took the first year of my retirement to unwind, relax, catch my breath, and determine what my path would be.
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