I made my son do this and I am glad I did!!!

[Rachel]

I can hardly describe the torture it was for me to require my son to write thank you notes after Chistmases and birthdays. He was a good sport about it, but oh, the agony. It took forever. I even made him write the addresses on the envelopes (after drawing straight lines with a ruler).

Fast forward many years and I see him writing thank you notes as a self-initiated task after every holiday. He just called me to get an address from an old family friend we saw for a New Year's Day party.

Yes, I am bragging!:)

[iris lilies]

Very very cool mom, way to go!!!!

[JaneV2.0]

Well done! We need more gratitude in this world.

[Packy]

He prolly just pushes a button on his 'puter, and the machine does the rest--sends everyone the same generic "thankk yew" text, has their addresses stored and it prints out labels; then sentences his kid to stuff envelopes & run them to the P.O. . Just betcha. Not trying to be snarky. Hope that helps you some. I also need More Gratitude---Thankk Mee.

[CathyA]

Good job Rachel! Isn't it great when you see that hanging in there really does pay off! I'm impressed! :)

[catherine]

Wow, great training, Mom! You deserve to brag. And I hate to say this--it's probably sexist--but that fact that he's a male taking the effort to write thank-you's--and calling you up to get addresses--makes it even more brag-worthy!

[awakenedsoul]

Oh, that's sweet Rachel. I was brought up the same way. When I was a ballet teacher, I always sent my students hand written thank you notes after Christmas. The mothers all appreciated it. The kids weren't used to it, and they really liked it. I remember when I was growing up, my own ballet teachers sent me thank you notes. It was so exciting go to the mailbox and have something addressed to me! I remember it was a really big deal...

[Blackdog Lin]

That IS awesome Rachel and you should be deservedly proud of yourself. And even more proud of your son.

Because I did the same thing in my son's formative years, insisted and made sure that thank-yous were sent every occasion - but alas it didn't stick. In fact I have told him for years that if I were his Grandma (out of state and seldom seen Grandma who still sends him generous occasion checks) that I would have quit sending him checks years ago, solely due to the fact that he doesn't acknowledge them to her. It's rude and ungracious and unappreciative and I am appalled - but I can't do a thing about it.

[Rachel]

Thanks for the nice replies, everyone.

Blackdog, you may be surprised...it takes a long time for men to mature and that early training may well kick in eventually. I got a letter from a former student of my father's, saying that it took decades for him to appreciate what he was teaching but when it all fell into place it changed his life. I am sure your hard Mom-work has not been wasted effort.

[Songbird]

Because I did the same thing in my son's formative years, insisted and made sure that thank-yous were sent every occasion - but alas it didn't stick. In fact I have told him for years that if I were his Grandma (out of state and seldom seen Grandma who still sends him generous occasion checks) that I would have quit sending him checks years ago, solely due to the fact that he doesn't acknowledge them to her. It's rude and ungracious and unappreciative and I am appalled - but I can't do a thing about it.

Does he at least call her on the phone to thank her or send an email? I can't imagine a grandson not acknowledging a gift from his grandma at all...I would think that would be terribly hurtful for her! How old is he?

[Blackdog Lin]

Songbird, it's just too painful to talk about. Sorry.....lots of baggage on this. I just keep on keeping on.

[Songbird]

Songbird, it's just too painful to talk about. Sorry.....lots of baggage on this. I just keep on keeping on.

I'm so sorry, Blackdog Lin.

[Blackdog Lin]

Oh Songbird, thanks - but today I see that that was such a whiney-pants post - I'm appalled at myself.

No whiney-pants for me. Life is good. I am back to celebrating the OP's son who does the right thing. Truly cool. Please excuse the off-topic nonsense.

[jp1]

Blackdog, you did the best you could. If your son chooses not to send thank yous, or at least call, or whatever, that's his problem. (I'm assuming he's an adult now?) You can't control his behavior. You can't control his grandmother's response to his behavior (ie, you can't tell her not to keep sending checks). All you can control is your response to all this.