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Zoe Girl
2-23-15, 5:59pm
Well my program is just struggling and I am not sure what is going to happen. A big thing is that I am just getting a handle on how work politics function at the late age of 48 and I see that I probably look like crap. I do know that in our goal system that determines raises and some career mobility I am currently rated medium low. I think the system is different than what originally thought because my supervisor referred to it as numbers of registrants, average attendance etc. However I was encouraged to write different goals, one around quality that were supposed to translate into lots of registrants but have not.

I have a big issue with the finances. I have a family identified homeless that I am sure I have talked about before. After a 2 year wait they got into a shelter! However they were only approved for a 45% off their tuition (we go as low as $10 a month) because mom has some income and they have no rent (because they have spent years bouncing around with people, the mom doesn't always get the kids with her). You can get a 2nd look at the tuition amount but they only have paperwork saying she is identified homeless by an agency and not any tax returns or pay stubs or anything. I feel I have made major errors in this. The last 2 years I have been able to work these things out for families and not have to suspend them, this year apparently not. The family has a bill over $400, the facilities manager and I chipped in and paid $30. Overall I am supposed to bring in more money, have fewer scholarships or lower ones, and now mid-year we were told to slash expenses because no one budgeted well enough to provide summer programming (which is required in our grant). I have continually changed what I do to adapt, the one thing I have not done is withdraw a student who is homeless.

I just feel like there is a LOT going on behind the scenes and I don't know what it is. I hear I am rated basically low for my numbers and then told I need to suspend/withdraw people, I am a grant supported site but I still can't serve an identified homeless student, the phone calls I in various areas of my job are increasingly tense, and when someone else tells me I do things like overspend I respond and then no one responds back to me. It generally feels like I am not in a favored category. So how the heck to I get out of this with some amount of credibility, a decent goal evaluation, or do I just understand that it may be out of my control.

Rachel
2-23-15, 8:01pm
Zoe, I feel for you. It truly sounds like there is a serious degree of dysfunctionality in your system. In general money and numbers rule everything regardless of what people say about quality and fairness to families. It sounds like you may have to do everything possible to cut expenses. I wish I could give more helpful advice.

JaneV2.0
2-23-15, 8:15pm
My helpful advice is to pursue mediation and consider other alternatives as well. It sounds like you've been beating your head against a wall long enough.

rodeosweetheart
2-23-15, 9:19pm
My helpful advice is to pursue mediation and consider other alternatives as well. It sounds like you've been beating your head against a wall long enough.

I agree; the mediation sounds like a wonderful career direction for you.

ApatheticNoMore
2-23-15, 9:50pm
I don't' know what a good career direction is, but it does kind of scream maybe this job isn't it.

I mean maybe you can work it out, but it sounds like there are various conflicts some very basic going on here. Like a conflict between the goals you want to pursue and the goals of the organization, I might even call it a moral conflict. The organizations goals might just be avoiding risk taking (say on the homeless family) so as not to lose money, or even being super anal in "following the rules" for scholarships, whereas your goals are helping the homeless family. Of course it also sounds like the organization may do a very poor job of even communicating what the heck their goals are, which doesn't help anything! (Maybe you could just ask them: what do I have to do to improve?)

So that even if you feel the organization can be made good, despite it's relentless bean counting and maybe frank disorganization, it's going to be a constant tight rope walk, a daily balancing act between what they see as their objectives and what you see as desirable. Though you might be able to fight the good fight for awhile, such a role will take it's toll on you, it rather depends on if one is ready to pay it.

And meanwhile you can beat yourself up for "never getting ahead" and "not being a good enough employee" and "not getting respect" etc. when it sounds more like a bad fit than anything.

Zoe Girl
2-23-15, 9:58pm
Thank you all,

I agree with moral conflict! I feel that deeply right now. I am going to 'open office hours' with the biggest boss tomorrow and bring this up. We have some difficult and important conversations that are not happening. That is the part that could go either way, I could be the champion for bringing out a difficult conversation or the employee making excuses for not collecting on a bill.

I emailed the director of the mediation services to try and get on some more volunteer ones (I need about 100 hours to put out my own advertising), I am working hard on hiring an assistant so I can actually take some time for this, and I am really enjoying teaching mindfulness to kids in more classrooms. That is going on my personal resume. Which reminds me of a few things I need to do for work (and to support me) right now! Who knows where it will lead, but I am ready to let go of the fear developed over the last few years of terrible economy and low pay and struggle.

Zoe Girl
2-24-15, 6:21pm
Didn't get fired! Actually I had 2 conversations and they went pretty well. There is some follow up promised and I will let you know after that, but for today there is a significant improvement.