"I want you to rub off on me."

[TVRodriguez]

I was at a work event, a legal conference, sitting next to another attorney friend of mine. The speaker was on a topic that didn't concern us, and we were waiting for the next one to begin, so we were both browsing different websites on our devices. She tipped her mini-ipad over to me and showed me a couple of watches, saying, "which one do you like?" "Hmm, both look nice to me, but the brown one seems like it would go with more. Do you need a new watch?" "No, not really." As she turned it away, I thought I saw a price of $75, and I thought, well, it's more than I'd spend on a watch that I don't need, but it's her money and not my business. She turned it back to show me two other choices, and I saw the price this time. I blurted out, "$750! That's a lot of money! I mean, but fine, if you really like it, I'd go with the brown one." She just laughed and said, "I want you to rub off on me."

[Zoe Girl]

that is great, it sounds like she appreciates and respects your opinion, and hopefully saved $675

[lessisbest]

I once read an article about thinking about things (like a $750 watch) in terms of how many hours you have to work to pay for it. That changes the perspective a little. For me, that $750 is equal to what I budget for groceries for 6-MONTHS. That's how I looked at it!!!:doh:

[TVRodriguez]

She ended up deciding not to buy it at all, at least for now.

[Selah]

I have a temporary job that is tedious, to put it mildly, and now even emotionally painful due to a manager who, shall we say, is not always the most skilled. Now, whenever I see something I might want to buy, I think to myself, "would I really be willing to work at that job for X hours to pay for Y?" The answer is almost always a resounding "NO!" It was different when I did the same calculation thinking about one of my other jobs that I really enjoy doing. Note to self: from now on, only use the Crappy Job Calculation when considering a frivolous purchase!

[sweetana3]

Like your thinking. Sorry about the boss.

[Karma]

My mind is in the gutter, the topic sounded naughty to me!

$750 for a watch!?! Are people crazy? My niece bought a $3500 wall hanging for the baby's room. Really?

[kib]

I know this is not a new question, but what do you think makes some people so acquisitive? Even when I was more of a shopper, my hope was always to find "the right one" so I could cross it off the list forever. I might spend $750 on a watch (ok probably not but theoretically, I might), but not unless I was as certain as possible that it would be the last watch I ever bought, that this thing would become as much a part of my hand as my fingernails, be displayed at my funeral and then handed off to some other lucky soul.

DH and his family are not at all like this, they seem to take great pleasure in being sold a possibility, happily touting the item's potential magnificence, and feel no offense or disappointment when that possibility turns out to be another piece of junk to shove in a drawer. I really don't get that at all, buying the same item or 'solution' more than once makes me very annoyed.

[sweetana3]

They are working/living at a totally different level. Spending creates happiness for them. Advertising was meant for them. They may or may not ever change. I know that we finally came to the conclusion that spending did not create any happiness but living really did. We now are trying to possess fewer things, declutter and enjoy what we have rather than try to find something "better" that might make us happier.

My skeptical gene has grown and now I am fairly immune to most advertising.

[kib]

Why do you think spending creates happiness? I mean for them, why is that a happy thing? I'm not arguing for my POV here, but spending basically makes me pissed off. In my world, if I spend money I should get what I am promised, and if you promise just to get your hands on my cash, you'd probably not want to meet me in a dark alley. I simply don't understand the joy of emptying one's wallet with no real concern over what the contents are exchanged for.

ETA: If I am giving a gift I have no such emotions, I understand that I'm releasing money in the hope that it makes someone happy or helps them. But if I am exchanging, that's a different story.

[ApatheticNoMore]

Buying something creates a little thrill. It's a way to give oneself a thrill, a present, a reward, a novelty (yea novelty is part of it). That the extra stuff if unused all ends up as a bunch of extra junk, well yea.

So some have suggested, and I don't know how true it is, those rats who kept stimulating the "pleasure" centers of their brain, at the cost of starvation etc. (yes here's the societal metaphor ...) were not actually stimulating a "pleasure" center at all (as in satisfaction - pleasure), but were stimulating a "craving center", restless craving ... constant craving ... And that craving, not even pleasure, was more powerful than eating to stay alive.

So you could simulate shopping without shopping, I guess, buying used is one way, free markets, swaps, borrowing.

[kib]

Thanks, ANM. Maybe I have a deficit somewhere, novelty tends to make me cringe. Oh lord, not something new, please, no more of that! Funny but it might be that simple, novelty tends to add complexity and chaos when I sincerely want less of those things, I often think of novelty running amok as the ruination of my goals. So I can thank being a control freak for saving me from poverty. .... hmmm ...

[bekkilyn]

It's kind of like the thrill of the hunt. Finding and catching the item is part of the challenge, but then once it's obtained, then that aspect is gone. Whenever I get into this sort of mood, I just start up one of my video games where I can play with shiny things without spending real money. I can decorate a virtual home with lots of neat clutter without actually cluttering up my real home.

People need to go out of their way to point out what they are wearing and inform me how much it costs because otherwise I'd never notice. I'm just too absent-minded about such things. Plus, if I'm going to spend $750 on something, I'd rather upgrade my computer or finally get rid of the rest of the carpet in my house than waste it on something boring like a watch. :)

[TVRodriguez]

I know this is not a new question, but what do you think makes some people so acquisitive? Even when I was more of a shopper, my hope was always to find "the right one" so I could cross it off the list forever. I might spend $750 on a watch (ok probably not but theoretically, I might), but not unless I was as certain as possible that it would be the last watch I ever bought, that this thing would become as much a part of my hand as my fingernails, be displayed at my funeral and then handed off to some other lucky soul.

I think some people just feel happy with a new shiny thing in their hands. I don't shop much, but when I do, I am like you (or when you were a shopper), picking just the ONE that I want to keep forever. I have a pair of earrings that DH & I got me for a birthday that cost $200 (actually $300 but I had a gift card to the store). I wear them almost every day and have done so for about 4 years, since we got them. I have no need for other earrings, although I have others. These are it for me. I still feel as happy putting them on as I did the first day I wore them. But some people only seem to have that feeling the first time. Then the feeling fades. Then they seek to re-experience that feeling by buying a new thing, especially if there is anything "wrong" with the old one--it's a good excuse to get a new one! It's like in Huxley's Brave New World: "Ending is better than mending."

[SteveinMN]

In my world, if I spend money I should get what I am promised, and if you promise just to get your hands on my cash, you'd probably not want to meet me in a dark alley. I simply don't understand the joy of emptying one's wallet with no real concern over what the contents are exchanged for.
I think what you are buying is not what they are buying, even if it's the same object. You are buying a (more-or-less) durable good. Buy it once, use it up, maybe pass it on if it has any economic life left after that. They are buying something new, an object to show off, an item that says something about them (I'm stylish; I'm tech-y; I make enough money to have this visible brand somewhere in my immediate vicinity; etc.). The result (ownership of the item) may be the same, but the goals are different.

I also think many people are more comfortable with the idea of essentially renting objects. As I cruise craigslist ads for some items we're looking for (a particular kitchen sink, for one; nothing exciting), I see many ads for items people have had for two weeks, a month, etc., and who now need to sell it to make money for rent, car repairs, etc. "I'll have it as long as I have it." Sometimes I think there's no requirement for the item to have substantial usability over time. It's not what it's there for.

[kib]

I agree with you both. I just find myself amazed that so many other people don't see it this way. :~)

I did watch a tv show last night in which an old hippie had about 210 acres in Wisconsin somewhere, and he'd turned it into this wonderland of old stuff and creative landscaping. He was brilliant and charming in a very laid back sort of way, and I thought to myself that I could see this. He made a life out of playing with Stuff and turning it into something more interesting, there were an incredible number of things but they all seemed valued and cared for. Hoarding with a purpose, I guess, but in that case it appeared oddly mindful.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Hippie-Tom/152191281469371

[Gardnr]

I have been in Nashville for a big work meeting. The only jewelry I wear is a beautiful emerald necklace hubby gave me for our 20th Christmas. I absolutely love it. (we do have wedding rings but neither of us care to wear rings).

These women were DRIPPING in jewels. I just kept looking at all these diamonds...2,3,4 karots. (how the hell do you spell that?) :~)

I had a moment of temporary insanity and thought 'maybe I should have a big diamond'. Then the real me slapped the silly me upside the head and said "really? Just because they have them?". I of the women gets a new diamond every 10y. A karot for every 10 so next summer she gets a 5 karot rock.

I would be so uncomfortable wearing all that. I am embarrassed that I even thought for a moment that I should have one.

So...do folks want the fancy jewelry because others have it? Is it another Jones thing like houses, and cars and ........

[lessisbest]

"So...do folks want the fancy jewelry because others have it?" In our family, it's one of hubby's sisters who has "tons" of jewelry like that, but only in smaller sizes of gems. One day when she was showing off the newest and biggest addition, another sister-in-law snarkily called it another piece of "sorry jewelry". I asked what's sorry jewelry? She said each time the husband screwed up and was "sorry", he bought her a piece of jewelry :laff:.