the hoarder and Christmas

[freshstart]

I am not going to get into this because we all know how it goes. My mom actually went down in the basement (her oxygen does not go this far and just doing this was so ridiculously unsafe, I am furious that the cleaning lady/my mom's close friend let her attempt this). So boxes of Christmas crap came up, from the 80s, even she says it holds no sentimental value. I am the designated decorator and was very clear I would put wreath on door, put up the manger, hang the stockings, decorate the the tree and DONE. I am not putting anything crappy up, if she wants that, she has to convince my dad to do it and he won't. She said ok and agreed to maybe get rid of some of the boxes of junk as long as I give it to Goodwill. Goodwill being code for the garbage bin, no one would want this stuff. And I told her I would take her to a store after Christmas and she could pick up some new things.

My stuff is in good shape, none of that came up. It is going to take my dad and I hours to find where my stuff got shoved. So after that conversation with my mom, I woke up yesterday and MORE boxes of her crap had been brought up. My plan was to decorate, instead I said I am not dealing with this stuff, I have a headache and walked away.

so much for not getting into it, lol. If she won't let me get rid of anything, all her boxes are going into a special place in the basement that I will designate for boxes of crap I never have to go through again, I can just toss them when the time comes. I will never do this to my kids. My Christmas spirit and any desire to decorate has gone right out the window.

[Mary B.]

This sounds so painful and difficult, freshstart. No advice here -- just sending you my best wishes.

[iris lilies]

A www, OP! I sympathize. Here I am, able to control all of the Christmas crap that's in my home yet it drives me nuts. I hate this time of year when scads of papers and cards and junk for presents invade this space. I would so hate being in your position, having old ugly useless junk that I'm supposed to use for decorations.

i DO love Christmas decorations and lights, so I can't have one without the other. I've got to put up with some of it in order to have some pretty lights.

This year I decorated two of our artificial trees at the home of a friend. His house in on our neighborhood's holiday house tour and he has no decorations, so I volunteered to decorate his house using our stuff.

Here at at my house I just draped a garland over the mantle and put lights on it, that's enough for us. I did put up a dozen strings of lights outdoors as well.

Last night I carried all of the big bulky presents to the home of another friend since they are all for her. She loves the Xmas present crap, so I told her she can store it all at her house until Dec. 25.

Now my living room is neat and tidy, with one shopping bag holding small gifts. Done.

[Teacher Terry]

I am so very sorry. Hugs:)) You are in an impossible situation.

[Simplemind]

Getting rid of my parents things this past year was a huge emotional drain. I did learn that I will never EVER leave even a fraction of this type of thing for my kid to clean up.

[mschrisgo2]

Oh my. I can kind of somewhat relate, Freshstart.
I think I've mentioned before how my mother has way too much of everything, and huge "collections" of Lots of things... Well, my brother told me he took her Christmas decorations from the shed into the house for her last weekend --> 49 cartons full. He was appalled when he counted the boxes; the last few years I've been there for Thanksgiving and got the boxes out for her before I left, but I didn't go this year. She has everything she has ever bought for Christmas (she's 85) and every year she adds to it. A lot of it is way past the point of reasonable use, and I'm sure many of the lights and light-up things are a real fire hazard.

He says all he has heard from her since then is a refrain that is very frustrating to him, "I just need a bigger house! This house is just too small!" He said he had to walk out the other night, because he wanted to ask, "Just exactly how big would a house need to be to display 13 completely decorated Christmas trees?"

Mom lives, rent free, in a 1400 sq ft house that my brother built for her on his property. It is a beautiful house, and should be plenty big for one person: 2 large bedrooms, 1 bath, formal dining room, good-sized kitchen, very large living room, large laundry room, deck that wraps 2 sides of the house with a gorgeous view over the valley...but she has more that a hundred pieces of furniture, so it is very crowded, not to mention all of the collections. Personally, I would love to live in such a luxurious space!!

.

[iris lilies]

Oh my. I can kind of somewhat relate, Freshstart.
I think I've mentioned before how my mother has way too much of everything, and huge "collections" of Lots of things... Well, my brother told me he took her Christmas decorations from the shed into the house for her last weekend --> 49 cartons full. He was appalled when he counted the boxes; the last few years I've been there for Thanksgiving and got the boxes out for her before I left, but I didn't go this year. She has everything she has ever bought for Christmas (she's 85) and every year she adds to it. A lot of it is way past the point of reasonable use, and I'm sure many of the lights and light-up things are a real fire hazard.

He says all he has heard from her since then is a refrain that is very frustrating to him, "I just need a bigger house! This house is just too small!" He said he had to walk out the other night, because he wanted to ask, "Just exactly how big would a house need to be to display 13 completely decorated Christmas trees?"

Mom lives, rent free, in a 1400 sq ft house that my brother built for her on his property. It is a beautiful house, and should be plenty big for one person: 2 large bedrooms, 1 bath, formal dining room, good-sized kitchen, very large living room, large laundry room, deck that wraps 2 sides of the house with a gorgeous view over the valley...but she has more that a hundred pieces of furniture, so it is very crowded, not to mention all of the collections. Personally, I would love to live in such a luxurious space!!

.
Give your brother a hug for providing this for your mother and also putting up with her complaints about that which he provides.

and a big eye roll,toward your mother's thoughtless behavior.

[freshstart]

OMG, 49 cartons and 13 trees? I have reached the point where I would refuse to bring that much stuff up. I thought 8 or 9 big bins were bad, you and your brother have both been very good to her. The house sounds so lovely and peaceful, it's too bad she cannot appreciate it.

I had hoarder success yesterday! We went through 4 bins, we have a big box for "Goodwill", she kept 3 other bins of stuff for just in case "next year" but the stuff does not have to be displayed. The only things she wants out are a basket for cards to go in and a little house our cleaning lady (who has becomes family) gave her last year. It wasn't easy, she wanted to donate 4 Dollar Store stockings on which I, age 10, had put our names in glitter on the top white part. She was going to somehow cut the names out (thus removing the white cuff, who the hell would want those?) or scrape the glitter off somehow with her gnarled, curved arthritic fingers. I convinced her to let the $4 bunch of stockings to go in the trash. The old adage being in her world, "if you haven't used something in 35 years, you can throw it out", with a clause of "unless your kid made it".

I am very proud of her and that's 3 bins I know I have checked so they can go in my new spot in the basement of boxes that have been vetted and can be tossed whenever she is ready or she passes. But I never have to check them again!

the next half today. Plus, I have to find my stuff in the basement, someone moved it, it was all in one place. This year when we pack up, all Christmas is going in the same section. Like I did last year but somehow the stuff did not stay there.

my mom is a strange hoarder, when down there last week, she found her wedding dress. She was very tiny and it was an handmade sheath style dress, takes up no room and I, for once am the one saying please don't toss that. Yes, it's yellowed, but she had our baptism dress made out of the train and for some reason, I want to keep that from her past. That she'll throw away without a second thought but the Dollar Store stockings took 45 mins of wrangling. Why would a hoarder want to get rid of that dress, especially when she considers her marriage of having been great? This I do not get at all.

[Ultralight]

You're going through a tough time for sure. Hang in there and vent on here if you need to!

[Chicken lady]

The dress is about her. The stockings are about you.

[freshstart]

The dress is about her. The stockings are about you.

I didn't even think of that, that makes such simple sense, thank you

[freshstart]

Here at at my house I just draped a garland over the mantle and put lights on it, that's enough for us. I did put up a dozen strings of lights outdoors as well.

Last night I carried all of the big bulky presents to the home of another friend since they are all for her. She loves the Xmas present crap, so I told her she can store it all at her house until Dec. 25.

Now my living room is neat and tidy, with one shopping bag holding small gifts. Done.


oh so JEALOUS! lol

[rodeosweetheart]

I think it's really nice you guys used the train of the wedding dress for baptismal dresses!! I have my two baptismal dresses (I had twins, so one used the older brothers and I made the second one) and now the kids are not baptizing the grandchildren.

Oh well. I have them hanging in my study as they bring me pleasure. If they stop bringing me pleasure, then I will pack them up for the great grandchildren. I also have the baptismal cap my great great grandmother made for my father in 1928, that he wore at his christening, and my children wore.

If the children want to s**tcan this kind of thing after I die, then let them. Or let them donate them to museums. But I am not getting rid of them. This kind of family heirloom takes up MAYBE one dresser drawer.

My parents have a similar number of heirloom items, including a Chinese tea set brought back by an uncle during the Boxer Rebellion.
On the other hand, my mother gave me the hallowed family Christmas decorations one August a few years ago, and with much anticipation and fanfare, we opened the box and found the mice had eaten most everything. I got to laughing uncontrollably. I think we save two balls, a bell and an elf riding a horse, all of which are on my tree.

They should outlaw the use of glitter by small children. Hoarding Christmas ornaments would decrease across the nation. I cant get rid of the ornaments my kids wrote their names on. But I don't have them on the tree because the dog might break them.

[freshstart]

Oh well. I have them hanging in my study as they bring me pleasure. If they stop bringing me pleasure, then I will pack them up for the great grandchildren. I also have the baptismal cap my great great grandmother made for my father in 1928, that he wore at his christening, and my children wore.

If the children want to s**tcan this kind of thing after I die, then let them. Or let them donate them to museums. But I am not getting rid of them. This kind of family heirloom takes up MAYBE one dresser drawer.

They should outlaw the use of glitter by small children. Hoarding Christmas ornaments would decrease across the nation. I cant get rid of the ornaments my kids wrote their names on. But I don't have them on the tree because the dog might break them.

That is so cool about the old and homemade baptismal stuff. I'm keeping that stuff even though around 13 each kid decided they are atheists so I will likely have unbaptized grandbabies myself.

I have my Nana's very old German Christmas ornaments, just a shoe box full. I don't hang them because things get broken every year by the dogs playing near the tree. But I love them. I might buy evergreens for the mantle after Christmas and next year hang them on that.

As for kid ornaments, most were dough and they've mostly crumbled away, but a few are still good.

[Chicken lady]

One of my favorite Christmas ornaments is one my dd made when she was 2. The kids chose a circle of felt, the adult glued it to the underside of a used canning lid with a piece of ribbon sticking out between, and then the kid covered up a picture they liked with the lid. The adult traced around the picture, some of the kids (including mine) cut it out, and then they glued it on the front of the lid.

My kid was in her cow phase. And somewhere in one of the magazines she found a picture of a cow. Just a regular old cow, standing in a regular old field, and that's what she put on the ornament, jagged cuts and all.

[freshstart]

aww, I love that!

[rodeosweetheart]

aww, I love that!
I do, too!

Freshstart, I think your idea of hanging your Grandmother's German ornaments on the mantel, out of dog reach, is brilliant!!

[freshstart]

maybe I'll splurge on the evergreens before Christmas and do it this year!