Facebook question

[CathyA]

Facebook keeps posting old pics and memories and asking me if I want less of those posted and I say "YES!!" every time........but they are there all the time still. In fact one time they posted the same pic 6 times, and I asked them 6 times to STOP IT!! But they still keep coming. Any ideas on what I can do to stop that? (other than never using Facebook).

[Ultralight]

This makes me feel good about staying clean for 18 months! :)

[kib]

Have you set it so posts come up in order rather than the ones facebook thinks you would find the most interesting? Mine tends to reset itself to facebook-selected crap every couple of weeks.

[IshbelRobertson]

I am not, nor ever have been a member of FB. Your post confirms my view that it's the devil's work!

[Ultralight]

I am not, nor ever have been a member of FB. Your post confirms my view that it's the devil's work!

+1

[razz]

Funny but I was just getting some info from a teacher for a class that I am organizing and she has her website only on FB. i mentioned that I have no FB page so couldn't access her info for promotional purposes. She had found that maintaining a website outside of a FB group was too costly and time-consuming. Pros and Cons to everything, it seems.

[CathyA]

In spite of my irritation, I really love Facebook for being able to keep in touch with my extended family and friends. I would never keep in touch as much without it. And we all share pictures, which is great.

[freshstart]

In spite of my irritation, I really love Facebook for being able to keep in touch with my extended family and friends. I would never keep in touch as much without it. And we all share pictures, which is great.

this exactly. I think it's made my extended family closer, honestly. It's what you make of it, although they sure as heck make it difficult to set it the way you want. I think it's obtuse on purpose so more people keep less stuff private but I'm only guessing

[SteveinMN]

Is there really a need for the "that's why I don't use Facebook" chorus? Maybe I'm just in a bad mood tonight, but the holier-than-thou approach to not having a Facebook account really annoys me. It is what it is, nobody is getting a Medal of Honor for ignoring it, and if some of us get more use from it than others, for whatever reasons, so be it.

CathyA, I'd like to dump those reminders, too, but I haven't found a way. When you say you want to see less of those types of posts, Facebook thinks you don't want that event or person to be shown again. This is what came out of that hue and cry a few years ago when people were being reminded of events they would just as soon not be reminded of, like the death of a loved one. The Fb algorithm can't figure out what's a happy thing and what is not -- and sometimes that's cloudy to us humans (picture of married couple seen on their first anniversary; same picture shown after they've been divorced a few months). Perhaps if everything is marked 'less of these' Fb eventually will run out of topics about which to remind us. I'm not hopeful. I'm getting really good at skipping mine -- and at skipping most of the ones my friends repost from their Fb suggestions.

[Williamsmith]

Well, there is always the handwritten note sent through the USPS or keeping a telephone directory and calling them once in awhile.....but then that wouldn't be cool would it? I don't do FB either......I just talk to my mother and she tells me what is happening with my kids. She is jiggy wit it.

[razz]

Yep, Steve, it is your grumpiness.

I don't feel holier than thou but I do feel a little frustrated with those who automatically assume that I will be on FB and I lack something important when I don't. That was my point with the instructor whose info was hard to find since it is only on FB.

I am happy texting, emailing, phoning and writing where I feel that I have more control on my info sharing so I am not totally tech-free but to assume that I will be on FB because you have so chosen is not respecting my right to choose differently.

[jp1]

My mother was one of eight kids and for their entire adult lives they had a "round robin" letter going where they would write a general "this is what's up with us" letter, put it in the envelope with the other seven letters and send it on to the next person. That person would remove their old letter, write a new one (and presumably read the others) and then send it on, and so on and so forth. For me facebook is sort of the same concept, but writ large. I can quickly and easily keep up with the general goings on of friends old and new, near and far and if I want to have a more intimate communication I send a private text or email to whomever I want. It's the best of both worlds. General broad communication with the mass of my 165 facebook friends, and one on one communication when I want it. Sure facebook can be a big timesuck if I let it, and I could do without some of the endlessly reposted memes but without it I would definitely be in regular contact with a much smaller number of people.

[Zoe Girl]

Is there really a need for the "that's why I don't use Facebook" chorus? Maybe I'm just in a bad mood tonight, but the holier-than-thou approach to not having a Facebook account really annoys me. It is what it is, nobody is getting a Medal of Honor for ignoring it, and if some of us get more use from it than others, for whatever reasons, so be it.
.

Well we can be grumpy together, I guess my grumpiness is that I have many topics here that I have no connection to so I simply don't read or respond. I used FB , a lot, and I really love it. Like any electronic media it can easily get addictive. But I am recalling that I was so addicted to reading over my lifetime that I used to read while driving, it was crazy stupid! I read at the dinner table, in the bathroom, on the school bus, up late at night. So all the availability of texting, FB, etc. to me seems to be an extension of that really. My parents had limits on my reading, like if they were speaking to me I had to not just look up from the book but actually turn it over.

I haven't had too many of these, I don't post a lot of pictures so maybe that is it. And none that I have shared have come back to me, I will keep my eyes open on that. It doesn't seem to have any discernment about what it suggest.

[iris lilies]

Yep, Steve, it is your grumpiness.

I don't feel holier than thou but I do feel a little frustrated with those who automatically assume that I will be on FB and I lack something important when I don't. That was my point with the instructor whose info was hard to find since it is only on FB.

I am happy texting, emailing, phoning and writing where I feel that I have more control on my info sharing so I am not totally tech-free but to assume that I will be on FB because you have so chosen is not respecting my right to choose differently.

I think much of the problem with FB is that it doesnt work well as a straight up information source yet people are using it for their organizations, businesses, and other professional contacts. Because the algorhythms are secret and quirky and random, it is hard to know what its going to display on anyone's newsfeed.

I just wish that small businesses organizations would all maintain simple and fairly static web sites, if they cant afford a big dynamic one, to share basic information. For instance, one of the vets I use is closed for a lot of holidays. He doesn't have a web site. His facebook page isnt clear in showing his closed period. A FB posting may or may not be effective for that info becauase it rolls on the newsfeed.

[Williamsmith]

I object to the lack of privacy. And when I do talk to my mother, who monitors my kids Facebook, I am shocked at what personal information they post for many to see. I'm also pissed that all their friends have found out this stuff and I haven't been told.

[IshbelRobertson]

Is there really a need for the "that's why I don't use Facebook" chorus? Maybe I'm just in a bad mood tonight, but the holier-than-thou approach to not having a Facebook account really annoys me. It is what it is, nobody is getting a Medal of Honor for ignoring it, and if some of us get more use from it than others, for whatever reasons, so be it.

.

Yes, you've obviously got your grumpy pants on.
I posted a joking comment, hence the exclamation mark...

Oh, and I have no idea what a Medal of Honor is and suspect that, as a foreigner, I wouldn't be eligible for the award! See, thatvwas another jokey aside...

[SteveinMN]

Yes, you've obviously got your grumpy pants on.
I posted a joking comment, hence the exclamation mark...

Oh, and I have no idea what a Medal of Honor is and suspect that, as a foreigner, I wouldn't be eligible for the award! See, thatvwas another jokey aside...
I did have my grumpy pants on last night; my post was based on a preponderance of responses (and history on this site and my understanding of what computers can do).

Ishbel, interestingly enough, when I first wrote that post, I was going to say "knighted" but I changed to Medal of Honor because so many of us here are American and I don't believe women are "knighted" per se. Looking at it again, though, the Medal of Honor is limited to members of the U.S. military. So I probably should have used the generic "gold medal" instead. :)

Yes, Facebook has privacy issues. However, so do its users. As williamsmith pointed out, some people overshare. The privacy Facebook offers is very clearly spelled out (tl;dr there isn't much) so users have little excuse for being surprised by how far their admission of getting wasted last night spread. n.b., these same people typically are holding no-holds-barred conversations at loud levels (on cell phones) in public. It's the behavior, not the technology.

Yes, Facebook does have an opaque algorithm for posting what it does where it does. It could be handled better -- again, by users. Many businesses have a Facebook page. But if they won't keep up a Facebook page, they won't keep up a separate Web site either. So even a customer who knows to look at the Facebook page may not be happy. The ability to update is there if people choose to use it. Again, it's the behavior, not the technology.

Unlike some other folks, I don't expect others to be on Facebook. But it is enough of a "thing" at this point that not being on Facebook now has a price. When our DD/DSiL puts up pictures almost daily of our grandchild and they can be seen by (potentially) dozens of relatives and friends right away (and readily ignored or blocked by those who don't care), expecting DD/DSiL to simultaneously text us the picture or print it and drop it in the mail every time (because we don't like Facebook enough to sign up and log in) is, IMHO, a bit much. To cavil about missing most or all of those pictures or family updates is downright presumptuous and assumes your time and energy is more important than anyone else's. Heck, you don't need to own a phone, either. But not having a phone has a price, too. Pay the price if you like, but be clear that it is your choice.

Technology itself is. Fire can be used to forge steel and make glass -- or burn a cross. Water can provide electrical power -- or simulate drowning during waterboarding. The substance does not change; it's the uses people have for it that are good or bad.

Facebook (and computers in general) are no different. Facebook can be used to link family members or people fighting for civil rights -- or people who like cat videos or people buying and selling junk. People communicated with family members and fought for civil rights and watched cat videos and bought and sold junk before Facebook; they will after, too. Though Facebook has its problems, the technology really is not the issue. And that's why I don't get why some people seem to feel so much better than others because they don't engage with technology. It's the same kind of attitude that comes with not eating meat or not being seen in sweatpants in public. Facebook is not the world's best example of enabling technology. But more than a billion people think it helps. They obviously see something others don't.

[Cypress]

I stayed away from FB for years based on privacy concerns. I got involved because of interest in a musical group. Well, I've learned FB is populated by a lot of amateur communicators. If you are at all a professional, or a private person, or prefer boundaries, FB ain't for you. It's a good tool for family or friend connections. My town has a FB page and I tend to look at it as local chatter ends up there often. As it is quite popular now, it's helpful to know what it is, how to use it and what the limitations are. Just don't friend people you don't know. That's were my problems came up.

People do things that are confounding to me. I've had private conversations, an entire dialog shared out into a closed group. I was asking the moderator how she preferred infrequent users interact. I tried to clear the post first, but found it cut and paste for all to read. I went after her later and explained a PM means Private Message. She seemed surprised at my surprise. Other "friends" have done similar activities. Different boundary or use issues is a problem.

There is a term in public communications, "use without permission", meaning someone shared photos, writing or news without your permission and knowledge. Many folks don't get that part. Something about the whole like, share, friend scene gives some people free rein to neglect the concept of boundaries. There's also an issue of people simply not knowing how to use the settings. I always set to me only when I post. If it looks good, than I only share to friends. Those friends with sticky fingers, you can restrict access to your personal page.

Users also don't get what a personal page means at times. Your page, your stuff. It's a strange environment at times. I have made one good friend on social media through it. I also was able to arrange to meet people when I travelled abroad. It's got some good uses. But, overall, I give it a thumbs down.

[rodeosweetheart]

Cypress, my experiences with FB were very similar, so I cancelled my account.

I never like it when a professional experience dictates having to use FB, and will now opt out if that is the case.

Unfortunate, because there are many, many great organizations that have gone to using FB exclusively to communicate.

[iris lilies]

My FB account exists for the primary purpose of reading FB posts of others.

I did not use my real name many years ago hen I signed up, likely before most of you here. Mark Zuckerberg can yank my account any time for that. Go for it, Markie.

This nom de plume option is something for you all to consider if you care about confidentiality. If you are ethically challenged with this option, dig deep into your soul, find your true self and name him/her, then enter that name in a FB account.To me, thats fullfulling the spirit if not the law of the FB mandate to give your teue name.

I am required to follow whats happening in our of bulldog rescue group but I told the people in charge of that account who I really am. All of my FB friends, all 6 of them, know who I am.

[freshstart]

what Steve said. It's like blaming the hammer for the hole in the wall. If you can't mold the tool the way you want to, then stay off but that does not make you superior to others. You can choose to use texting and email but why should others have to input all the addresses, put in all the phone numbers when in 10 seconds they can post two sentences of important group info and move on with their day. It's similar to late adopters of email, eventually by not opting in, they were totally left out.

BTW, it's not remotely the medium of choice for teens and young millennials anymore. For a while it was twitter, snapchat and instagram but by now I'm sure they've moved on to other ways of communicating.

[jp1]

Or answering machines and voicemail. There was a time when people grumbled about having to leave messages. Now we're at the point where my majpr international employer is doing away with it for some people because communications modes are shifting away from voicemail.

[IshbelRobertson]

Who feels 'superior' for refusing to use FB? Not me, and I resent the implication that ALL non-users feel that way.

[JaneV2.0]

...

Oh, and I have no idea what a Medal of Honor is and suspect that, as a foreigner, I wouldn't be eligible for the award! See, thatvwas another jokey aside...

I was curious, so I looked it up. The Medal of Honor is awarded by the US military, to anyone who shows sufficient valor fighting with our troops. Some sixteen Scotsmen have earned a Medal of Honor, according to Wikipedia.

[JaneV2.0]

Television used to be the holier than thou target du jour.

Zoe Girl, I have always been an avid reader--but not, apparently, as avid as you are. :0!

[freshstart]

Who feels 'superior' for refusing to use FB? Not me, and I resent the implication that ALL non-users feel that way.

I did not say ALL but there are those on various forums and IRL who are sanctimonious over not being on FB

[IshbelRobertson]

OK, but a broad brush comment tars us all with the same brush.

[IshbelRobertson]

I was curious, so I looked it up. The Medal of Honor is awarded by the US military, to anyone who shows sufficient valor fighting with our troops. Some sixteen Scotsmen have earned a Medal of Honor, according to Wikipedia.

Interesting to know, but I don't foresee being in a scenario which might make me eligible!

[freshstart]

From someone who calls it "Devil's work" um, ok

[IshbelRobertson]

That was a JOKE.

[freshstart]

Then you misunderstood me and I misunderstood you. It happens

[ToomuchStuff]

Funny but I was just getting some info from a teacher for a class that I am organizing and she has her website only on FB. i mentioned that I have no FB page so couldn't access her info for promotional purposes. She had found that maintaining a website outside of a FB group was too costly and time-consuming. Pros and Cons to everything, it seems.

I am not a Facebook user or fan, but it seems to me that some pages can be viewed (although it seems there is some time limit, so view them in an anonymous browser, so you can open a new session) without having an account, while others require it.


Is there really a need for the "that's why I don't use Facebook" chorus? Maybe I'm just in a bad mood tonight,

Yes, as a reminder to those that are trying to set it up and use it as their primary/only contact point, and yes your in a bad mood.

Yep, Steve, it is your grumpiness.

I don't feel holier than thou but I do feel a little frustrated with those who automatically assume that I will be on FB and I lack something important when I don't. That was my point with the instructor whose info was hard to find since it is only on FB.

I am happy texting, emailing, phoning and writing where I feel that I have more control on my info sharing so I am not totally tech-free but to assume that I will be on FB because you have so chosen is not respecting my right to choose differently.
+1
and I choose not to let a company (using the example below), take the letters out of the envelop and use my information to profit from, then put it back in the envelop and send it on.


My mother was one of eight kids and for their entire adult lives they had a "round robin" letter going where they would write a general "this is what's up with us" letter, put it in the envelope with the other seven letters and send it on to the next person. That person would remove their old letter, write a new one (and presumably read the others) and then send it on, and so on and so forth. For me facebook is sort of the same concept, but writ large. I can quickly and easily keep up with the general goings on of friends old and new, near and far and if I want to have a more intimate communication I send a private text or email to whomever I want. It's the best of both worlds. General broad communication with the mass of my 165 facebook friends, and one on one communication when I want it. Sure facebook can be a big timesuck if I let it, and I could do without some of the endlessly reposted memes but without it I would definitely be in regular contact with a much smaller number of people.


I think much of the problem with FB is that it doesnt work well as a straight up information source yet people are using it for their organizations, businesses, and other professional contacts. Because the algorhythms are secret and quirky and random, it is hard to know what its going to display on anyone's newsfeed.

I just wish that small businesses organizations would all maintain simple and fairly static web sites, if they cant afford a big dynamic one, to share basic information. For instance, one of the vets I use is closed for a lot of holidays. He doesn't have a web site. His facebook page isnt clear in showing his closed period. A FB posting may or may not be effective for that info becauase it rolls on the newsfeed.

For things such as hours and such, they should be using the ABOUT section/tab.
The FB discussion frequently happens in my family. Namely because one side is ignorant and the other side is in law enforcement and could be put in danger.

[jp1]

I guess I don't particularly care that facebook is trying to monetize me. After all so is google, amazon and pretty much every other web site that anyone uses. The only way to stop that is to quit using the internet and I consider all that the internet does for me to be enough of a benefit that I'm willing to put up with everyone collecting my data.

I don't especially worry about whether someone is on facebook or not. If they aren't they probably just won't be having as much communication with me. Perhaps some consider that a benefit... :~)