Can't take it with you [Archive] - Simple Living Forums

ctg492

4-2-16, 2:36pm

A family member(couple) passed. Frugal to the end. Ended up having a 1.2 million in the assorted cash investments.

How do I feel, Sad. Why was it not enjoyed? Was looking at the numbers on paper reward enough? Was leaving it to the two children reward enough? Did the person(couple) have all they needed? Yes, but could have had so much more. Yes, there were a few items they really talked a great deal about for years. These few items we all knew about and all questioned why they were never bought, as they were needed and would have made their life easier.

Can't take it with you is true. How would you feel if you found this out?

JaneV2.0

4-2-16, 3:01pm

I finally figured out that I planned to live forever, and wanted to amass all the supplies necessary for that outcome. Imagine my dismay when I found out that life was finite, and I'd probably never use that box of 100 Prismacolors, or the twenty pads of drawing paper. I'm an ancient Egyptian at heart, I guess, keeping it for the afterlife.

I'm by no means a money hoarder; I'd definitely spend it for my comfort. Anything left over could go to rescue charities.

bae

4-2-16, 3:07pm

My mother-in-law was excessively frugal even at the very end (in her late 80s...) She was concerned about running out of funds in her old age, worried about the potential cost of medical care/assisted living facilities.

She refused our attempts to get her to spend even small amounts of money on things that would have made her final years so much more comfortable and enjoyable.

The pieces of her estate I've managed to wrangle together so far are worth between $3 and $5 million. All from a lifetime of saving and investing her salary as an underpaid college professor. There was ~1.5 million in completely liquid nearly-cash assets at the time of her passing.

I wish she'd spent more of it on herself.

CathyA

4-2-16, 3:12pm

I guess their fear of not-having in the future outweighed their need for a bit more comfort and enjoyment. If everyone in the family agreed with that, I suppose it's okay. But it would be a bummer to think you were just poor and had to scrimp and save, but your significant other just didn't tell you he/she was socking it away.

catherine

4-2-16, 3:29pm

I wish she'd spent more of it on herself.

I feel the same way about my MIL. Although she didn't leave millions--far from it, she left an incredibly admirable amount given the fact that she lost her husband in 1965, when women had no good prospects for jobs, and she wound up working as a clerk in Macy's until she was in her 60s. During that time she incurred no debt, paid off her mortgage and saved whatever she could, spending very little on extras.

It was only at the end of her working career that she took advantage of a better job as vice-president of her retail worker's union. She was in her 70s at the time and she schlepped into Manhattan and took two subways to get to Herald Square every day, but that 75k she earned for a couple of years was like a HUGE windfall to her.

She was extremely frugal. Frugal but generous. She often said that if she didn't give her money to other people she would have been rich, and she's right. She enabled some of the shortcomings in the people she loved the most and she and they would probably have been better off if she renovated her home or went on a cruise.

Simplemind

4-2-16, 3:49pm

Sometimes the number in the account and the sense of security it brings is bringing the most joy. We never know if we are going to go short or long. No matter how much they have, everybody chooses in what areas they want to be rich and poor. I am pretty frugal. I don't deny myself experiences but I'm not much into material things.
My son was talking to me the other day about his girlfriend and that they were on the same wavelength financially because she was also brought up "fake poor". I had never heard that term before. He at 21 thinks I am rich. He and I have different ideas of what rich means. He never lacked for anything, took lessons in his interests and we traveled with him. We were always comfortable but drive older cars and live in a modest home that is paid for. I hope after I'm gone nobody thinks I could have spent it on (fill in the blank) because I have always spent it on exactly what I wanted.

ToomuchStuff

4-2-16, 4:05pm

I understand the fear of medical/extended living expenses. They can flat out bankrupt a person, in a relatively little amount of time. (price 6 weeks in the hospital)
But I also understand that the saving mindset and the feeling of "beating the system" that so many people have called it to me over the years. It isn't just about having the money in savings, it is also about purchasing something by saving up a bit out of what you budget as spending without guilt, money.
Then you have the future helping ideals. Some people have a feeling of responsibility to help the future generations; other people think that their only duty is to the kids until they are an adult, then the heck with them.

EDIT: And you can take it with you. There is the old joke about turning all of your assets to cash, and placing a check for that amount in the casket, and if you want it, you can cash it.

SteveinMN

4-2-16, 4:41pm

A family member(couple) passed. Frugal to the end. Ended up having a 1.2 million in the assorted cash investments.

How do I feel, Sad. Why was it not enjoyed?
Maybe it was. Maybe their enjoyment came from knowing they had that pile of money to sit on, a la Richie Rich. Maybe they liked the idea of having money that helped fund the dreams of two people who were younger and more able than they were.

How many people in this group get a psychological lift from having their mortgage paid off -- even if they have enough of an income stream to service it until the end? How much do people sacrifice/not spend to achieve that goal? Is the goal wrong? Some people just like to have no mortgage, even if the economics of it make little to no difference to their economic lives.

I also think we are dealing with a particular cohort of people who grew up during The Great Depression and who endured poverty far longer than probably any of us have. I'm not sure there has been an economic event since that has had such a formative effect on a population.

oldhat

4-2-16, 4:45pm

I often pressed my father to spend more on himself when he was in retirement. He was a child of the depression, and I think having that money in the bank meant more to him than anything he could have spent it on. And it was literally in the bank, since he refused to invest it in anything that involved the tiniest particle of risk. Not that he was in any danger of penury. He had a healthy pension and Social Security, and always spent less than he took in. But the security of those six figures in cash helped him sleep more soundly, I guess.

bae

4-2-16, 5:41pm

I hope after I'm gone nobody thinks I could have spent it on (fill in the blank) because I have always spent it on exactly what I wanted.

Don't get me wrong - I wasn't hoping she'd have spent her $$$ on having The Rolling Stones play her garden parties.

Just on simple things that would have made her last couple of years in her own home more comfortable. She spent perhaps her last 3 years living in her living room on the folding sofa, and taking sponge baths, because she couldn't use the stairs in her 3 story Victorian anymore. There were multiple stairways, and several easy places to put stair chairs or even an elevator in for her. And much of the cost would have come from her insurance. Grab rails in the bathroom so she could use the tub/shower, or even putting in a shower stall. A decent ramp for the front and back so she could get out safely. That sort of stuff.

Smoke...Detectors... For goodness sake. We had 4 fires there from her smoldering cigarettes, *after* I put the detectors in against her wishes. She had several before. One of the fires had just managed to start combusting the chair she was sitting in before the caregiver noticed...

catherine

4-2-16, 5:57pm

If people are happy because their "security gland" (as Dave Ramsey calls it) isn't kicking up hell, that's fine. But how much of that fear is an illusion? I realize people have good reason to be prudent, but part of prudence is recognizing when fear is warranted and when it isn't.

I think it's strange that we are so far from nature (and maybe from a truly civil society) that we require boatloads of money that just sits there until someone else gets it in their laps, just so that we can avoid being afraid for our quality of life.

ApatheticNoMore

4-2-16, 6:13pm

I think fear is very rational, not an illusion at all. Now this doesn't necessarily apply if you have millions and millions. But I think fear of long term unemployment, of age discrimination and not finding work when they are older, of wanting money for one's old age, etc. are rational. I think this is a realistic assessment (the false assessment is thinking the system works and gives a @#$# about you as long as you work hard and follow the rules - oh haha very funny - tell me another one. Or that you are so special that nothing bad could ever happen to you). Another probably realistic assessment is my view is to believe that things will continue to get worse and worse for most working people in this society (rent and healthcare and so on will continue to go up, wages not so much so) and to suspect that one might have it worse in the future than they do now - earn less compared to necessary expenses that is - and less ability to save etc. (one tries for otherwise of course, socially and personally - but it may not happen is all I'm saying).

I think it's irrational to perhaps even want and much less to expect to save money beyond what a person's income will ever allow, like I could be wrong but a suspect a lot of people will never be able to save for long term care as it cost a fortune and they've never been paid a fortune (and you wont get insurance for that beyond a certain age). So I think some realism is needed in accepting what your income can and can not achieve (and more or less depending on what you choose). And of course in accepting what any income can achieve, all the money in the bank in the world doesn't guarantee one won't be killed in a car accident tomorrow of course.

nswef

4-2-16, 6:26pm

Bae, I like the idea of spending so I can stay comfortably in my own home. More difficult is finding someone to do the work ...and living with the work being done. This year we had painters do the inside of the house- so worth the money for us! Later this month I'm having someone come do the windows because I just can't do them well anymore. Others might say we live "without" but we spend on what makes life easier.

catherine

4-2-16, 6:30pm

Isn't it an illusion if you are like bae's MIL, fearful for your future despite plenty of money PLUS a strong family support system?

I'm trying to understand why I'm not that fearful for my future. Maybe I'm being naive, but I don't think so. I've lived in dire circumstances, where the school psychologist happened to be behind me in line at the supermarket and I had no money to pay for $20 worth of groceries, so she offered to give me the money. We lost our home to foreclosure. I've had to tell my kids they couldn't go on field trips that we couldn't afford, and I accepted hand-me-downs from neighbors. When the kids sensed things were tight they'd ask "Are we in the crapper this week, Dad?"

I also saw my mother just totally squander a ton of money and wind up on SSI after being disabled, sending me coupons because she couldn't send me money, but being as cheerful as Pollyanna all the while.

So it's not like I don't know what it's like on the other side of that fear. Maybe that's why I'm not afraid. For some who weathered hard times, it drives them to hoard. But knowing that things are never quite as bad as we imagine them, it gives me a sense of confidence and freedom. And what am I doing here at these forums? I'm learning from you guys who have learned how to live on very little, and that helps to keep my personal wolves and demons from my door.

iris lilies

4-2-16, 7:01pm

freshstart

4-2-16, 7:24pm

it was very important to me to have enough in retirement savings that I could pay for any care needs myself and in no way burden my children, so I kept plowing money into those accounts because everyday I saw what happened to families that didn't have enough for a back up plan. Children stressed to the max providing physical care and trying to work, trying to find low cost private caregivers so their parent isn't left unsafely alone. Houses so old that medical equipment was more a PITA than a help. I want no part of that for my kids, I want to be able to afford an under the table caregiver and pay for the other expenses. I also hoped to leave them some money.

now that my income is less than 30% of what it was before I got sick, I am not so sure how I am going to make this plan happen anymore. I realize I will likely need to access retirement money much younger than predicted for current medical care and basic needs. When I do a will, I will put my share of the house in a trust for the kids so at least they have that money if I go to a nursing home. I'd like to have enough assets to get me into a "good" nursing hime because they cannot kick you out when funds are gone and you go on Medicaid, but the county home the next city over gives great care because the employees stay for decades as they are paid by the city, have pensions and good healthcare. They just opened a new facility. I would happily go to this home if it meant I could live without burdening my children.

that is my biggest financial fear; being a burden. I can't tell you how it keeps me awake at night that my parents are footing the bill for the taxes here because contributing to that would leave me in negative numbers. I am a burden on them and I HATE it. I can't imagine doing it to my kids either financially, physically or emotionally. I certainly never dreamed I would do it to my own parents, as if they didn't struggle enough with money when they were raising us. It truly disgusts me and I can understand the elderly trying to save their kids any way they can. Maybe not to the extent of Bae's MIL, I would've done the Stair Climber and other adaptations. But basically, I get it.

razz

4-2-16, 8:35pm

While everyone's experience is different, we don't understand the values that triggered the decision. DH wouldn't update any tools for decades and then when he finally got a new one, he truly regretted that he had waiting so long. There is a state of thought that suggests that as long as something is working for an individual, albeit with some challenges, it will continue to be the choice whether it be lack of stair assists or better tools or other assistance that would make life easier. I think some of it is to avoid change because the new improved is also the unknown and fear of spending on some change that may not be better and $$$ were wasted.

catherine

4-2-16, 9:08pm

I think that is great, truly!

I don't know why I fear being without funds. I've always been a child of middle class privilege and have never been truly poor.
Back in the day when I didn't have real money I still nurtured and petted the growing tiny stash I did have,hoarding it.
I guess my main impetus for saving is the idea in my famly thats its shameful to not be able to take care of yourself.

Thanks! To be honest, after I wrote "For some who weathered hard times, it drives them to hoard" I was worried that you would call me out on it, because actually I wasn't comfortable with "hoard" as the right choice of word. I don't want to suggest that I think saving money is a bad thing.

And because I'm also a pretty self-reliant person, I agree that the idea of being a burden to anyone is not a happy thought. But not long ago, it was common for multiple generations to support each other and not feel bad about it. I live in a neighborhood where there is a demand for in-law suites, because most of my neighbors are Asian. I think that the idea that you must save a million or two to save your family from having to deal with you is a uniquely American thing.

iris lilies

4-2-16, 10:12pm

Thanks! To be honest, after I wrote "For some who weathered hard times, it drives them to hoard" I was worried that you would call me out on it, because actually I wasn't comfortable with "hoard" as the right choice of word. I don't want to suggest that I think saving money is a bad thing.

And because I'm also a pretty self-reliant person, I agree that the idea of being a burden to anyone is not a happy thought. But not long ago, it was common for multiple generations to support each other and not feel bad about it. I live in a neighborhood where there is a demand for in-law suites, because most of my neighbors are Asian. I think that the idea that you must save a million or two to save your family from having to deal with you is a uniquely American thing.
Oh, I think that my behavior DID qualify somewhat as hoarding at one time.

This is in contrast with DH who is frugal and lives a simple life and likes to keep money in the bank once it goes in there, but I dont think he falls into obsessive thoughts about our stash as I do, or did. I am a little more relaxed about it now.

jp1

4-2-16, 10:28pm

Maybe some of the fear, perhaps irrational, is not knowing how much it will really cost if one truly becomes needy of expensive services. One of my father's concerns was that he might ultimately have needed expensive nursing home care for the last months/years of his life. The way things played out he spent a little over a month in a skilled nursing facility in hospice care. I went to visit shortly after he was moved from the hospital there and called my sister to tell her that we needed to move him to a private room. He was depressed, hated his roommate, etc. It was clear that he wasn't going to be alive for too much longer, the money would be well spent, and he could afford it. It was probably the best $10,000 he ever spent.

Yes, he ended up not needing all the money that he'd saved, but I'm so glad that it didn't end up being the opposite. Because I'm certain that if he'd been broke he would have been adamant about my sister and I not spending our own money for him to have a private room no matter how miserable the shared room would've been.

pinkytoe

4-2-16, 10:39pm

Isn't it interesting how we all feel about money and what is enough? I get really perturbed by all the media stories about how retirees must have
bazillions of dollars to survive. It is nothing less than fear-mongering as everyone's situation is different. The whole point of simple living is to live a good life on less. I guess it boils down to some sort of survival instinct and our cultural belief that only money can save us from a bad/sad end. I imagine that a lot of these elders being discussed have some dementia going on that affects rational decision making.

jp1

4-3-16, 1:41am

Personally I've set a goal of 1.25M. Time will tell if that's adequate or inadequate for my needs. It turned out that my dad saved too much. It has also turned out that his two siblings didn't save enough. They are both still alive and out of money. Thankfully they have children who are happy to take care of them.

ApatheticNoMore

4-3-16, 1:58am

Maybe some of the fear, perhaps irrational, is not knowing how much it will really cost if one truly becomes needy of expensive services.

at a certain point of needing expensive services I have my doubts you can save that up on probably most incomes anyway, that's why I said at a certain point it seems pointless. At a certain point getting to Medicare qualification (to pay for long term care) is the rational choice. But that point is not saving up for more ordinary things, that one might have a chance at. But I really suspect the long term care thing is too far gone in being affordable to middle class people.

iris lilies

4-3-16, 10:58am

I am lucky because the financial issues in my parents' life went like clockwork. My father became sick and died after being in the hospital one week. No long, drawn out care stays and huge bills. I have to say, I gave a sigh of relief because at that point, with all of their funds now exclusvely belonging to my mother, there would be no conflicts of interest such as having one spouse bleed the resources.

My mother DID, ahem, spend her money! She sold her modest house, bought a condo in the city, put in new kitchen, sold that condo. Bought another one, simultaneously rented an apartment year 'round in Texas for stays of 4 months, etc. Profits were not made on these real estate deals.

My brother and I did talk about stepping in when we found a busness card from a Kitchens and Bath place at her house. That meant she had been talking to someone about renovating the kitchen in the two year old condo. Ah, no. She had an obsession with having drawers instead of cabinets.

In one episode of spending, she had JC Penney Co come and measure, manufacture, and install custom drapes on every window, includng the little kitchen half curtain. Good god who pays for custom curtains on heir kitchen window??!!!

But none of ths spending was crazy over the top, so we just kept an eye on it. As she progressed into Alzheimer's disease there were incdents with door to door salesmen, vacuum cleaners, insurance sales men of many sorts, etc.

Then she had a medical incident, went to a nursing home for recovery, and never came out. She was there several years where, between her income and long term care insurance, her bills were paid withhout dipping into assets. When the LTC insurance ran out ahe was usng assets to pay the bills, and then she died.

She left nice chunks of money to my brother and I, $60,000 each. So it all turned out fine. She had her mad money to spend and yet she left us some.

DH's father, our only remaining parent, has assets and will be fine. He lives in an old victorian farmhouse and hes got everything he needs on the first floor.

catherine

4-3-16, 11:19am

Wading into the winters of our lives is a big unknown. Maybe that's where my naivete lies. The women in my family have all been very long-lived, and very, very healthy (except for my mother, whose lifestyle contributed to her demise, I'm afraid). OTOH, the men in my family have not done as well. Of the men on my father's side, one of my uncles died before he was 30, my father died at 43, and even my extremely accomplished, Yale-educated, nature-loving, renaissance-man uncle, the family patriarch, died suddenly at age 68, shocking all of us.

My DH always says that I will outlive him, and if I were an insurance actuary, I'd agree with him. But no one knows what will happen to us. I wrongly make subconscious assumptions that I will be like my favorite aunt who lived until she went out very quickly at 92, never taking any prescription pills, never being sick, and wearing heels, earrings, and lipstick every day until the day she died. My other three favorite aunts are the same: 2 nonagenarians and one 85 year old, and all feisty, bright and healthy.

The latest batch of people who died recently in their 60s (Patty Duke, Garry Shandling, Zaha Hadid) makes me realize that my plan for 30 more years of health and high-function may not transpire.

One of my mother's favorite quotes was "man plans and God laughs" meaning we can only do so much to predict and plan for the future--but there is so much that is outside of our control, so carpe diem.

Teacher Terry

4-3-16, 11:54am

My parents and inlaws were from the depression era and helped us when we were young and needed it. We have done the same for our kids. I have no desire to leave them $. If it turns out that way fine but I intend to do what my Mom did and spend it traveling, etc and having experiences. I will never be a burden to my kids either. We can live frugally on our pensions, and SS if need be. OUr home is paid for and we could always sell and downsize to small condo if we needed too. Because life can be short I intend to do the things that I want. I had one Grandma that was like Bae's MIL and would not spend her $ to make her life more comfortable and that was stupid. Both her and my poor Grandma ended up in the same very nice nursing home and all her money went to the home.

Rogar

4-3-16, 7:23pm

A family member(couple) passed. Frugal to the end. Ended up having a 1.2 million in the assorted cash investments.

Can't take it with you is true. How would you feel if you found this out?

I see two sides to this. One of my favored quotes on happiness is by Picaso, "I'd like to live as a poor man with lots of money". There are plenty of people who live happy, rewarding, and full lives on small incomes and little savings. In one respect i don't see having a large amount left over at the end sad, but could mean they were satisfied with their lifestyle and just did't need it. Maybe the opposite of sad. I live a frugal and simple life and for the most part actually enjoy it. When I do find a few little luxuries to splurge on I really appreciate them as something special. So, say, if I had an extra mil or so would I rush to spend it all before the end? Sure there are a few things, but I am not really sure what I would spent it on.

I think the sad part is if someone has the money but scrimps on things like healthy food, or medications, or decent clean living conditions. Maybe real comfort things like air conditioning in a hot climate or wearing winter clothes in the house to save on heating bills. My comfort list probably also includes a good cup of coffee every day, a working computer, and maybe a cold beer or two at the end of a long day. It all depends on how far the frugal bug has gone.

I'm not sure easier is always better. I know of older people who pay to have all their yard and home care taken care of, but have sacrificed the only exercise and outdoor outlet they had. And others who just aren't physically capable and really need the extra help. So I don't think there is a one size fits all that says it is sad to have a big nest egg left over.

ctg492

4-5-16, 5:33pm

Well having time to absorb all this now and thanks for the posts, I understand how this happened and frugal people seldom change and probably never after 70 in to the 80s. Tomorrow we bury the remains along with her husband who passed last summer. They were kind people who lived the life they wanted.

jp1

4-5-16, 10:20pm

My comfort list probably also includes a good cup of coffee every day...

I'm reminded of a friend's father who passed away 8 or 9 years ago. Hard working, but dirt poor his entire life, he ended up spending his retirement in a small, dumpy, apartment in a housing project in downtown Newark NJ. He still had an old school percolator coffee pot and would use the same grounds to make 2 or 3 pots of coffee. Once the coffee was coming out the color of weak tea he admitted it was time for some fresh coffee for the next pot. I have been working from home more and more over the past year or so and finally a few months ago realized that one of the things I hated about it was not having access to coffee. So I bought a french press and a hand crank coffee grinder for around $30 from amazon and a pound of good coffee beans for about $12. I've probably worked from home 20 times since then, having 2 cups of coffee every time (just like I do at work), and have used maybe half of the beans. The math says 40 cups of very rich, thick, delicious coffee have cost me maybe $6 in beans. (hopefully the french press and grinder will last for years.) I'm all for frugality but if I ever think that $.15 for a really delicious cup of coffee is too much than I've probably gone overboard.

Ultralight

4-6-16, 7:02am

I know a woman who is a total froog! She is about 55, married to someone equally frugal, and I get the feeling she is really socking away the cash. She says she lives 'like a poor but thrifty person."

Does there come a point where she busts out all that bread and spends it on luxuries or vacations or some such? Or does she keep on living like a pauper? Out of habit? Compulsion? I dunno.

If for some crazy reason I ended up with a ton of cashish in the bank when I am in my 50s (or even before then) I'd certainly want a good emergency fund -- a really good one -- and a well-stocked retirement.

But having almost zero interest in material items leaves me asking: What would I do with that money? I'd do some traveling for certain. Beyond that? I dunno. I would also donate to some dog rescues and so forth.

I doubt I will ever have money for that though.

LDAHL

4-6-16, 11:01am

I'm not a big believer in the die broke philosophy. Nor would I consider any of my accumulated assets benefiting my kid instead of me to be wasted. I'm dull enough to see no strong correlation between dollars spent and life enjoyment after a certain point, but am very adverse to the idea of an impoverished old age. Therefore, my first strategic priority has been to develop relatively secure, reasonably large sources of income in the form of pensions and social security that will be there even if I screw up everything else. After that, I'm building up a reasonably sized investment portfolio and insurance coverage to deal with the occasional disaster or catastrophe and big-ticket items like a college fund. Of course, the question I struggle with is quantifying "reasonable", and I would love to hear how anyone has solved that problem for themselves.

If our later years turn out lucky, and my daughter inherits a (reasonably) small fortune that makes her life easier, I will in effect have taken it with me.

Ultralight

4-6-16, 11:17am

If our later years turn out lucky, and my daughter inherits a (reasonably) small fortune that makes her life easier, I will in effect have taken it with me.

Interesting thought and turn of phrase.

I feel the same way about leaving a planned gift to a community organization I am part of.

LDAHL

4-6-16, 11:21am

Interesting thought and turn of phrase.

I feel the same way about leaving a planned gift to a community organization I am part of.

Same thing. I view it as licking the plate after life's rich feast.

Rogar

4-6-16, 11:24am

Does there come a point where she busts out all that bread and spends it on luxuries or vacations or some such? Or does she keep on living like a pauper? Out of habit? Compulsion? I dunno.

If for some crazy reason I ended up with a ton of cashish in the bank when I am in my 50s (or even before then) I'd certainly want a good emergency fund -- a really good one -- and a well-stocked retirement.

But having almost zero interest in material items leaves me asking: What would I do with that money? I'd do some traveling for certain. Beyond that? I dunno. I would also donate to some dog rescues and so forth.

Travel has always seemed grossly over rated to me. When I left my traditional job I spent about 3 months on the road, mostly camping which was not expensive. I love to camp, hike, fish and explore new areas and am fortunate to live close to nice places to do that. I enjoy visiting friends and relatives out of town, but am over eating unhealthy restaurant food and paying a hundred bucks or more for a strange bed and a shower in a coldly impersonal room that usually smells like perfumed disinfectant. I worked in a restaurant for about a year and in a resort area in the service industry for about a year so maybe I've just had my fill and do not like being waited on. There are a high percentage of people who are condescending to service people. I still spend a couple of weeks a year exploring but there are also local wonders and I will never have enough time to see all of them. I could have nightmares of being stuck on a cruise ship.

Nice avatar, UL! Is that your dog. Looks smarter than my old boss.

Ultralight

4-6-16, 11:36am

Travel has always seemed grossly over rated to me. When I left my traditional job I spent about 3 months on the road, mostly camping which was not expensive. I love to camp, hike, fish and explore new areas and am fortunate to live close to nice places to do that. I enjoy visiting friends and relatives out of town, but am over eating unhealthy restaurant food and paying a hundred bucks or more for a strange bed and a shower. I worked in a restaurant for about a year and in a resort area in the service industry for about a year so maybe I've just had my fill and do not like being waited on. I still spend a couple of weeks a year exploring but there are also local wonders and I will never have enough time to see all of them. I could have nightmares of being stuck on a cruise ship.

Your points are well-taken! Ideally, I'd like to just pick some place in the tropics and live there, full time, until the end of my days. But since I can't do this, especially now, I am interested in taking perhaps one big trip a year, for a couple weeks, to the tropics or some other warm place with beaches.

With that said, I took a week long road trip from Arizona back to Ohio in 2012. I was married at the time and had both my dogs. The four of us spend a handful of hours on the road each day. Then at night we'd go to a campground, set up the tent, and then grab dinner. Sometimes it was a pizza or Mexican take-out. Sometimes we'd just piece something together from the cooler for meals. All in all, it was a pleasant, happy week for me. In fact, it was one of the happiest weeks of my entire life. All we had was in our car (the rest of the stuff was in pods being shipped to Ohio on a semi-truck). My ex and I spent a lot of time relaxing, talking, telling each other stories, and playing with our dogs at rest stops. This week inspired my simple life profoundly -- and it still does!

So when I travel, I try to make it super-simple with no hurrying, no rush. I try to stay in a tent or an AirBnB (which feels more like a home). This is what I did with my most recent ex gf when we went to Aruba. One bag each; a tiny apartment AirBnB; walking distance to a beach. Sweetness! We'd make breakfast and lunch in the apartment and get dinner in the evening at a restaurant.

What I am saying is that I like traveling under the right circumstances. :)

But like you, I am dubious about traveling when it feels like work or wasted expenses.

Nice avatar, UL! Is that your dog. Looks smarter than my old boss.

Yup, that is Harlan!