Judging as the new political correctness?

[Ultralight]

I have noticed, and maybe it is just me (I mean really..., that there is a disdain of what people call "judging" in this society.

I have this sense that it is related to political correctness.

Like no one can judge anyone for anything or they are seen as judgmental.

I feel like a maverick because I judge and I welcome others to judge me.

Do you think that this popular disdain for being "judgmental" is helpful or hurtful to our democracy/republic and/or culture/whatever you call this mess?

My thoughts on this are not fleshed out, which is why I am hoping to run this flag up the pole here and see who salutes. I'd like to workshop the idea a bit here.

Go! :)

[iris lilies]

I like judging.Today I gave a little seminar on judging lilies. Gotta have some standards, you know.

[Ultralight]

Gotta have some standards, you know.

:+1:

[Miss Cellane]

I think the aversion to "judging" stems from people who make judgements without knowing the whole story.

They see a kid throwing a temper tantrum in a store, and judge that the parents are not good at parenting, without knowing that the kid is autistic. They see someone glued to a phone in a public place and judge that they are addicted to social media, without knowing that person has a family member in the hospital and is trying to arrange a plane trip home. They see a woman breastfeeding in public and judge her by thinking she is an exhibitionist, when she is just feeding her baby.

We all judge other people all day long. The "judging" that is getting criticized now is when people act on their "judgements" without any attempt to make sure they are correct.

[Ultralight]

When people cry out: "You are so judgmental" to someone I just have to wonder, why is that person so afraid of someone else judging them?

Is our crisis really about people being judgmental or is it more a crisis of confidence? Like so many people lack confidence in themselves that they freak out when judged by others...

[Ultralight]

I think the aversion to "judging" stems from people who make judgements without knowing the whole story.

This could be. Could very well be...


We all judge other people all day long.

True.

[leslieann]

Judging is related to categorizing. We categorize information automatically: if we didn't, we'd be stuck processing our first five minutes of experience all day long. We pay more attention to new information and to information that is most salient, and particularly to information about something that might be harmful. The other thing we do, which is probably not biological but cultural, is we divide everything up into good/bad, pleasant/unpleasant, I like it/I don't like it, and so forth.

These are judgments.

Beyond that, we make attributions about people's character based on their behaviour. This is not rational, and we don't apply the rule universally, but we do it. If someone cuts us off on the highway, they are an idiot. If someone's kid makes a fuss, the parent is bad, or lazy, or selfish or something.

So those are things we tend to do automatically and it makes moving into criticizing EVERYONE about EVERYTHING very easy, especially if our own life isn't very interesting or fulfilling. I really dislike my inner space when I start to hear myself internally judging and disliking and criticizing because it is such a NARROW and nasty view of people and the world. So I have spent years working on NOT judging, which does not mean that I praise everything ..... that's judgment too. Better for me if I just notice things as they are, and try to keep an open mind.

I do judge Trump though. Maybe politicians in general. So I still have a long way to go.....

[Ultralight]

Judging is related to categorizing. We categorize information automatically: if we didn't, we'd be stuck processing our first five minutes of experience all day long. We pay more attention to new information and to information that is most salient, and particularly to information about something that might be harmful. The other thing we do, which is probably not biological but cultural, is we divide everything up into good/bad, pleasant/unpleasant, I like it/I don't like it, and so forth.

These are judgments.

Beyond that, we make attributions about people's character based on their behaviour. This is not rational, and we don't apply the rule universally, but we do it. If someone cuts us off on the highway, they are an idiot. If someone's kid makes a fuss, the parent is bad, or lazy, or selfish or something.

So those are things we tend to do automatically and it makes moving into criticizing EVERYONE about EVERYTHING very easy, especially if our own life isn't very interesting or fulfilling. I really dislike my inner space when I start to hear myself internally judging and disliking and criticizing because it is such a NARROW and nasty view of people and the world. So I have spent years working on NOT judging, which does not mean that I praise everything ..... that's judgment too. Better for me if I just notice things as they are, and try to keep an open mind.

I do judge Trump though. Maybe politicians in general. So I still have a long way to go.....

So rather than trying not to judge, why don't we try to judge more accurately with clearer and/or more rational thinking.

I don't think that judging is always bad. By this I mean, I judge things and people to be good too.

[LDAHL]

So rather than trying not to judge, why don't we try to judge more accurately with clearer and/or more rational thinking.



Because judgement implies comparison against a standard. For the last half-century or so, we’ve divided ourselves into so many subcultures that it’s gotten difficult to agree on what the standards should be.

Political Correctness is just one particularly puerile aspect of the problem. It attempts to impose a system of arbitrary rules based on external characteristics aimed at measuring some level of historical victimhood. In any given situation, the biggest victim must be in the right. An entire sort of priesthood has grown up around this concept to assess innocence and guilt under this system. But since this system is only accepted by a subset of the greater society, it’s judgements are often greeted by resentment or laughter.

[ApatheticNoMore]

I judge in my own mind all the time. But seeing and commenting on the good in other people, now that doesn't come naturally and takes counter-instinctual behavior.

[Ultralight]

Interesting thoughts here. Keep'em coming! You are providing much to think about.

[catherine]

I guess it depends on why you're judging. If you're a a judge, you can judge. If your job is to pick the best dog in the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, go for it. We want you to judge.

Sometimes you need to make judgements and other times judgements are just ways to separate you from someone else. I think being judgmental sometimes means you are being critical for no purpose other than to criticize. Or you are projecting your own values on someone else. Or you are reacting to some trait in someone that it too close to your own shortcomings for comfort.

When my DH and I watch American Idol, there is a particular type of music/singing that he does not like. He is intent on bashing that type of music, regardless of how much I tell him that to that particular cultural group it is important and meaningful. It doesn't matter squat if he likes it, and his opinion doesn't count because if people like it, they like it. He is being judgmental. Of course, I am being judgmental in calling him judgmental, and so it goes on and on... :)

[creaker]

I don't think there is popular disdain for judging, there is so much of it out there. I do think for many there is huge disdain for having their judging judged. Or just having it disagreed with.

In a lot of cases it's like people who walk around hitting people with sticks (how often do you hear people being judgmental in a positive way?) - and then get totally indignant when someone dares to hit them with a stick.

[ToomuchStuff]

I have noticed, and maybe it is just me (I mean really..., that there is a disdain of what people call "judging" in this society.

I have this sense that it is related to political correctness.

Like no one can judge anyone for anything or they are seen as judgmental.

I feel like a maverick because I judge and I welcome others to judge me.

Do you think that this popular disdain for being "judgmental" is helpful or hurtful to our democracy/republic and/or culture/whatever you call this mess?

My thoughts on this are not fleshed out, which is why I am hoping to run this flag up the pole here and see who salutes. I'd like to workshop the idea a bit here.

Go! :)
Well, sometimes you agree to certain things (Terms of Service), because being seen as judgemental, well:

The main point I take away from this post by lessisbest is that in the future I should be more tactful and more considerate in my responses to others. I know I can certainly be harsh, and I have on here. Seeing the bitterness and toxicity in someone else sure illustrates how unpleasant it can make a person appear. I don't want to appear or to actually be this way.
So others judge you and you judge others, and we lose members. So in some cases, others suffer.

[ToomuchStuff]

One other thought, you say your open to being judged, so that means you are asking for thoughts, opinions, etc and are open to change.
When you are not open and asking for thoughts, how does it make you feel, and do you do those changes? As an example, how were your thoughts about an NRA membership and the stickers your father provided you? (I seem to remember you being bitter and seeing him as harsh)

[Ultralight]

One other thought, you say your open to being judged, so that means you are asking for thoughts, opinions, etc and are open to change.
When you are not open and asking for thoughts, how does it make you feel, and do you do those changes? As an example, how were your thoughts about an NRA membership and the stickers your father provided you? (I seem to remember you being bitter and seeing him as harsh)

Not sure what you are getting at. Clarify please.

[ToomuchStuff]

Did your father provide you with stickers and think that you should join the NRA?
Did you make that change or try it? Are you trying others values (which come from their judgements)?
How did you feel when he gave you those (you can revisit the post)?

[Ultralight]

Did your father provide you with stickers and think that you should join the NRA?

He did and he does.



Did you make that change or try it? Are you trying others values (which come from their judgements)?

I joined the NRA for one year when I turned 18. This is very normal where I am from. But then I read into their politics and decided they were not my style. This feeling has become deeper since then.

Am I trying other's values? Sometimes, if they make a good case. For instance, I read Capitalism: The Unknown Ideal by Ayn Rand, as well as Anthem, because I wanted to explore the ideas and values of others. But I was not convinced, I was actually rather repulsed. I also read up on and about William F. Buckley, Jr., for instance. And while I thought some of the things he said and wrote were funny and even insightful in very narrow contexts, I ultimately found him to also not be my style.

So there are a few examples of what I think you might be getting at.



How did you feel when he gave you those (you can revisit the post)?

Majorly annoyed! LOL

[ToomuchStuff]

Majorly annoyed! LOL

So a judgement that you didn't ask for, that your not open to, that you didn't find tactful, harsh even, and you felt how? Others feel this way as well, and why I don't think being judgmental is a political correctness thing, but more of a tact and consideration thing.

Don't offer judgement unless someone is asking for it, unless it is a legal job.

[Ultralight]

So a judgement that you didn't ask for, that your not open to, that you didn't find tactful, harsh even, and you felt how? Others feel this way as well, and why I don't think being judgmental is a political correctness thing, but more of a tact and consideration thing.

Don't offer judgement unless someone is asking for it, unless it is a legal job.

Hmmm... interesting thought.

So if someone says: "I am considering teaching my young child to smoke cigarettes."

You'd let that go? No judging? No words of caution?

[ToomuchStuff]

Hmmm... interesting thought.

So if someone says: "I am considering teaching my young child to smoke cigarettes."

You'd let that go? No judging? No words of caution?

Could you fill this in please?
If you want this to be a serious question and discussion, there needs to be a lot more information.
How is the person saying it? (serious statement, joking statement, question by inflection, etc)
What sort of mood am I in? (good, sarcastic, angry, etc)

Without a lot more details, there is no way to take this as a serious question. So if you want a hypothetical answer, to a hypothetical question, then Maybe.
As to the definition of judging, well if you mean opening ones mouth, then no. If you mean having an opinion, that while not expressed, you would use in how you would react to that person, around for example, your kids, then yes, I would judge them.
Back at you...
What difference would it be between that and those that don't say that, but do by example? What about the kids that learn pot from their parents? (I have known both)

The world isn't black and white, in my experience.