View Full Version : Has anyone just up and quit a job?
Suffice to say my job is pure misery. I hate it, and to make matters worse, I've pretty much dug myself into a dead end, career-wise. I feel pretty darned hopeless. Of course I'm looking for another job, but I'm not having any luck. I'm not a risk-taker - the idea of quitting a job before I have another secured is scary as all get-out. And it goes against my nature to voluntarily put myself in a situation where I have no income.
But I really don't know how much longer I can take this. I have a good solid year's worth in savings. If no major disasters happen, I could probably make it two years on savings. But burning up my nest egg is pretty scary too.
I'm also kicking around self-employment ideas but so far haven't come up with one that could actually support me. I'm not very creative that way. I don't intend to sound self-defeating, but this sort of thing is HARD for me. Dang hard. >8)
So, as anyone just taken the plunge and quit? What did you do?
If I could, I would, really.Hate my job as well. The job market is very poor here, so I am clinging to this job like grim death. I keep my eyes open, tho.
I don't know what the market is like in your area, but if you think you could get another job within a couple months, and your present job is killing you, then quit. If not, hang in there and amp up your search.
Job-hunting sucks.
Same here, Kay. "Grim death" about describes it. There are NO jobs open in my field right now and very few others that I am qualified for. So quitting isn't exactly a bright move for me. It's called "desperation."
Yes, I've done it twice--and loved it. The first time was when I had the chance to see my 7 year old daughter for the first time in 3 months (my DH was with her on the movie set of Lassie in 1992). I asked for the time off--late notice, but I had no other option--and my boss said, "If you don't come to work tomorrow, don't come back at all."
I had already borrowed a car, my other kids were all packed and ready, and I just said "-- it", "got my motor running, headed out the highway, lookin' for adventure"--it was SUCH an uncharacteristic move for super-responsible me, but boy was it liberating and FUN!!
When I went to clean out my desk a few days later when I returned home, my boss called me in and simply said, "The next time you do that, I'll need more notice." -- and not only that but she gave me the flexible hours I needed at that time.
The second time was more planned, in that I had been thinking about it, and had clients lined up for a consultancy I wanted to start, but it was no less of a feeling that I just HAD to do it. That was three years ago--my consultancy is thriving, I make at least as much as I made in Corporate and I work FAR less.
My advice would be to have SOME kind of a plan, and network as much as you can before you leave. And I would honestly evaluate whether or not a shift in attitude would change things for you--not saying your experience is a result of a bad attitude, but I know that when I was miserable at one job I had, I decided to just change what I could, which was my attitude, and it was a truly monumental shift in my life. But that's different from just sensing it's the right time to move on--and somehow you feel that in your bones.
Good luck!
If I had 1-2 years of savings, I'd do it. The stress may be taking more years off you than it's worth.
ApatheticNoMore
5-5-11, 1:12pm
Also how well are you performing in that "grim death" job anyway?
If you are performing great, because you have a great work ethic and can perform through anything, that's good *maybe* (it's a double edged sword really). I've been there at times.
But I think sometimes part of the reason jobs are "grim death" is that they are not only not aligned with anything so lofty as our passions (and who dares think about something so ephemeral?) but they aren't EVEN aligned with what our aptitudes and skills actually are!!! And I've been there too.
Yes, about five years ago with only $400 in the back. I was desperate and just miserable. Find a great job I started two weeks later where I still am. I was very aggressive with the join hunt after I left and had a great resume. I called one of my customers, where my contact knew there had been some issues got a while. Had an interview two days after. One of the best moves I've made. My health was suffering from stress due to the job I left.
I hate my job too and can't wait to quit, but I am the sole earner since DH is STILL unemployed after being laid off almost a year and a half ago. So, I started a business that I hope will some day earn me enough to replace my job. Quitting day could come a lot sooner if DH finds a job. In the mean time I know that my performance at work has taken a nosedive and my attitude isn't so great anymore either. I've been trying to fix those things a little, but the mistakes seem to just happen out of nowhere and management has been adding a lot of extra rules and pretty much cutting out all the things we enjoyed about our jobs. If I were you, I would try to find another way to make money and continue working there until the other thing brings in enough money...unless your "line" is crossed and they do something you just can't tolerate.
what is your life situation? married, kids, mortgage. That comes into it a lot. If none of the above I would quit and move into a trailer or something.
Suffice to say my job is pure misery. I hate it, and to make matters worse, I've pretty much dug myself into a dead end, career-wise. I feel pretty darned hopeless. Of course I'm looking for another job, but I'm not having any luck. I'm not a risk-taker - the idea of quitting a job before I have another secured is scary as all get-out. And it goes against my nature to voluntarily put myself in a situation where I have no income.
But I really don't know how much longer I can take this. I have a good solid year's worth in savings. If no major disasters happen, I could probably make it two years on savings. But burning up my nest egg is pretty scary too.
I'm also kicking around self-employment ideas but so far haven't come up with one that could actually support me. I'm not very creative that way. I don't intend to sound self-defeating, but this sort of thing is HARD for me. Dang hard. >8)
So, as anyone just taken the plunge and quit? What did you do?
I almost quit a job on the spur of the moment once -- my boss and I had a major conflict and he basically told me I needed to decide if I was staying or going. I stayed on the surface, but it was just to finish projects I had a strong personal/professional commitment to and plan my departure. That turned out to be the right choice, though the last few months were really difficult in a lot of ways. I started a spreadsheet and was literally counting down the days, as well as counting how much I was earning/saving by working one more day. There were a couple of points along the way when I almost quit again, but I had scheduled days off at regular intervals because I knew I would probably need a break in order to keep going.
I think ultimately if your mental and physical health are being affected strongly by a negative work environment, you owe it to yourself to figure out an escape plan. If you have money saved up that gives you more flexibility, for sure. If you can line up something, anything, that will help make sure you can pay your basic bills while looking for a new career, all the better. But definitely be thinking about how to transition out, and if you really can't take it anymore, go ahead and quit. YOu aren't doing yourself or anyone else any favors by staying on in what is obviously not the right job/organization for you.
lhamo
You don't mention if you have a transition plan as yet - have you looked at retraining yourself, expanding your work capabilities? Depending on what sector your work is in, you may not need to branch out very far to find something you're happier in. As others have said, it really makes a difference if you're single or supporting a family. If you have dependents, grit your teeth, get your transition plan into gear, and work on training yourself into a new job. If you have another adult you share your life with, talk to him/her and get his/her take. Maybe they would be as happy as you would be if you did quit, and they might be willing to support you during the transition. Whatever you do, have a plan in place first so you don't drift when you do leave. Good luck.
Well, I guess I can't really quit. Okay, I can, but deep down I know I shouldn't. The stress here is ridiculous, but I also know myself, and that being without a job would very likely put me right over the edge. I've been unemployed before, and the memory terrifies me. Also, I've been dodging layoff here for the past three years. The executive director keeps giving me notice, but then finds some way to make ends meet. I'm pretty much to the point of yelling, just do it already!! At least with a layoff, I'd get unemployment benefits. Sigh. The stress of getting a layoff notice is just one more thing to add to the mix.
But last night I was simply exhausted, couldn't focus, etc. and when I got to work today, I very nearly cried.
To answer some questions - I'm single, with no dependents except for my dog and two horses. My house and car are paid for, and I have no debt. I do not have any sort of game plan, except to keep searching for a job. I've wracked my brain for self-employment ideas but can't come up with any that would actually fly in my area. I'm a writer, so you'd think freelancing would be a natural. Well, I have a good friend in the field who was unemployed a while back, and she tried freelancing. Times were very, very tough, and she was extremely grateful to finally find a job.
Catherine - oh yeah, attitude is a big problem. You can't even begin to know how many times I've tried to refocus and adapt. But unfortunately a certain employee keeps stabbing me in the back, and I'm just plain worn out. I certainly admire your guts and convictions when you quit the first time, and even more so the second time for making your plan work.
Apathetic - There's another issue. When I actually have work, I think I do a pretty darned good job. I love to write and edit. But hey - guess what I'm doing right now? Playing on the internet. There is very little work to do in my position, despite my repeated begging and pleading. So peformance? What performance? Sigh.
Tradd - Way to go. Can you give any pointers on an aggressive job hunt? What sort of different techniques did you use?
Bugeah - Hang in there. Maybe we'll both find a way out soon.
Lhamo - I'm glad things worked out for you. I'm taking a lot more leave lately, myself. I hate to burn it all up though, in case I need to take an unscheduled day for an interview... So far my health is ok, I mean I'm hanging in there. The past few weeks have been harder though, and I've been near a crisis point. Maybe they'll level out again. But you're right - I'm not doing anyone any favors by staying here, because I sure don't believe in the organization's mission.
Maybe this weekend will help. I can go home, mess around out in the garden and recharge. Thanks for all the input, people.
The best book I read before I quit was "Work Less, Make More" by Jennifer White. It's good in that, unlike books such as "Do What You Love, Money Will Follow" (which isn't always the case, as you pointed out with your writer colleague), she points you in the direction of how to make what you love MARKETABLE. It's really a great book.
As a writer, you're obviously smart, can communicate well, and can organize your thoughts, and you are probably both analytical and creative. Those are great skills! Do you have any particular expertise--i.e., what sector is your business in? What are your associated skills--do you make a good impression with clients, or do you like the "solitude" of the writer's life?
I agree that freelance writing is a real uphill battle, but think about the skills you use and think out of the box. For instance, my field is market research, and I personally feel it's the world's best kept secret for intellectually challenging and lucrative work. There are firms that allow you to work remotely, but you would have to build experience and a specific skill set. I would get out and talk to people and see what they do, and who they know, and see what opportunities exist, and keep an open mind.
And I just want to add--if you're at the point where you're crying at work, you have to do something! I found myself doing the same thing one day, and the next week I bought Jennifer White's book, and the next week I quit. I can't spend 60 hours a week of precious life energy in a situation like that.
So, here are a couple of resources: the first one: 48 Days to a Job You Love I haven't read, frankly, but I've read great things about it, and it has a free podcast, apparently.
http://www.48days.com/
Here's the link to Jennifer White's book/website that I referenced above.
http://www.worklessmakemore.com/
Hope they help inspire you...
Catherine - thanks so much! I have "Do What You Love and the Money Will Follow," and you're right - it's pretty inspirational, but it doesn't really tell me anything useful. I'll check out the sites you gave me and Jennifer White's book. I really appreciate it.
Most of my career has been in medical writing, which I really enjoyed. Right now I work for a teacher's union, which I do NOT enjoy. It was a very, very bad career move on many fronts. Associated skills? Oh gosh. You know, I've been through the entire "What Color is Your Parachute", done all the exercises, and came up with all sorts of interesting info about myself. I have tried very hard to think outside the box. Lordy. That's not one of the skills I have. :) I'll keep trying.
And you're right. I just got back from a lunch break, and I came to the same conclusion you did about the crying. I just need to figure out how.
ApatheticNoMore
5-6-11, 1:44pm
You could possibly consider taking a (probably unpaid) leave of absence. Yes, this assumes you are in a position where they will want you back. But it has some advantages over quitting (the security). Of course it probably has some disadvantages to outright cutting the cord as well. It's drastic, but maybe you situation is drastic. Working indefinitely at a job you hate so much is not actually sustainable.
You really sound like you are in a great position financially (with the paid off house). Haha, well if there is ever anyone who should quit a bad job, it is afterall someone in a good position financially. A year savings isn't all that great in this economy (I have seen too many where it took 2 years to get a job) but you are in a much better position financially than most. Most people have debt all over the place, kids, mortgages, college loans and when they say they can't quit, WELL THEY REALLY CAN'T. Keep that in mind when they give advice, they're coming at it with a lot more chains.
I do have to say unemployment is great. It's wonderful. I am a happy camper. For now, maybe not for tomorrow (and I am thinking ahead, I'm not doing nothing here, though I'm still uncertain on the future). I really tried everything I could to make that job work and there is just the relief that it's finally done with. I read psychologists. I tried to analyze myself. I asked myself "what unresolved inner conflicts are you bringing to the job, that make it so difficult to you?" I tried to go deep into that, and all the deep conflicts I have (and gained some real insight but never made as much progress as I would like, and of course still struggled at work). I asked myself questions like: maybe it's not the job that's the problem but really about your lack of fulfillment in other areas of your life and you just project it on to the job. Hmm, sounded plausible. I wasn't entirely happy with the rest of my life either. I went to career counselors (all they did was give me a battery of tests). I tried many times to work it out in therapy, but it wasn't their area of expertise. Eventually I was even buying books on how to grit your teeth and survive a bad job situation (because after all the economy was so bad by that point ....).
And now I'm unemployed and not struggling with all that. There's some fear of the future sure (and sometimes it hits hard), but all that worry and stress I had about work are gone. I do worry that my issues are deep and some of those conflicts will reemerge in any new job I get. I know all of them won't though, because I really do see now how *some* of my issues were about that job (and about my perceived need to keep it no matter what).
Apathetic - you won't believe this, but I just sent an email to my executive director, asking if a leave of absence would be a viable option. Crap has just exploded all over the place this afternoon, and I've reached my limit.
I am currently working with a woman who I seriously think has a mental illness. That aside, she is very, very difficult to work with. I already know that I am going to receive a layoff notice sometime in July. But at that same time, a woman is retiring, and there's a good chance I can move into her position. So I'm asking for a leave of absence until that time.
Yes, I feel pretty good about my financial situation. I've had three years to prepare for this, and have been looking for a job all that time too, if that tells you anything about our job market. So basicallly I've been saving every penny, because I've known a layoff will come eventually. What I never foresaw was that I'd be willing to quit voluntarily.
No, I don't actually want to work here for the long term, but I'm trying to cover all my bases. I'm as prepared as I can get for unemployment. Part of me longs for it, just to get out. Like you, I worry that some of the problem is me. I suspect that I'll be dissatisfied with just about any job I get, but at the same time, there's just no way I can deal with this biatch that I work with. I've never had problems getting along with people - just her.
I'm glad you're doing ok being unemployed, and hope you find an alternative before things get tough. Like I said, part of me longs for it too, even though I know I'll be stressed out. I've had friends tell me it'll be okay, and just to enjoy the time off. *Shrug.* I guess I'll cross that bridge if and when I come to it.
I once quit a temp job just by phoning in one evening and saying I wouldn't be coming in the following day or ever again. It's probably a bit more difficult to get up the guts to do that when you've got a lot riding on the job though. Normally, if I don't like a job, I give notice and leave as long as I have a bit of money saved up. I'm not willing to torture myself.
If you have the resources, do it. Life's too short, as they say.
When did you leave your last medical writing position, and do you still have contacts in that field? I would think that would be a great area to possibly move back into -- maybe you can try to develop it into something like what catherine does.
HOw necessary is it for you to stay in your current location. Even if you love it, if you can't find work you enjoy that can support you there maybe a move is in order. I know you mentioned the paid-off house and the horses, and can understand that those are major issues. But if it is a choice between those and a decent paying career somewhere else that won't leave you crying every day, what way would you lean? Not sure if there are family reasons, etc. for staying where you are as well, but thought I'd raise the issue.
I have not done any of his classes and I am beginning to feel a little bit like a tout for him, but I strongly encourage you to check out Ramit Sethi's www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com blog and especially his Earn 1K course. If my job situation ever starts going south, that is something I am going to do. The thing I like about Ramit is that he is very action and results focused. The "Do what you love" approach can be very inspirational, but as you pointed out it is often not very practical. Ramit's approach is to get you on a path so that you can earn extra money NOW and make a plan for how to develop that into a viable long-term enterprise. He focuses on thigns like identifying a niche that will really make money (not just tutoring, for example, but tutoring a specific type of kid whose parents will be easy to target and who are likely to have money to pay for it -- so if you are an Ivy League Math major in the bay area you focus on getting in touch with parents who would value and pay extra for the kind of service you can provide -- say tutoring/coaching to help their kid ace the math section of the SAT. And you might even want to focus it down further, so say you focus on parents who are first-generation immigrants from Asia who work in the IT sector. This is a group that values education, are very status/quality conscious, and want more than anything for their kids to follow the very path you did. they will pay a premium for someone who can help their kid get to the next level. Now, is that a bit cynical? Maybe. Maybe it would be wonderful if you were to choose instead to work with minority kids from the inner city to get their math scores up. But their parents don't have the resources to pay for it, and going after grants to support yourself is not going to be a very reliable funding stream. One of his biggest gripes, and one that made a lightbulb go off for me as I was in transition myself, is that lots of people just want to do good but don't think about whether it will pay the bills. So there is a lot of "I could help small non-profits write grants" type of dreaming, but the reality is that for most people that is a dead end. I've kind of come around to his way of thinking, which is first to build a viable business that can support you (and maybe others) because there is a strong market for the services, and later you can think about how to add pro bono work or other types of projects that may not need to focus so much on the bottom line.
Sorry, that was very long, but I wanted to put it out there because some people are really put off by his blog title and his kind of in your face approach, but I am intrigued by it and think it is worth exploring. The best thing about it is it is something you can start doing immediately. You can learn a lot from the materials on his website and in his newsletters without spending a penny. So think about checking it out.
I hope the leave works out for you and that the upcoming departure of the other person means new opportunities for you. but do continue to think about the alternatives. Sounds like a really unhealthy situation -- been there, done that, and it was definitely the right decision to leave and save my physical and mental health.
lhamo
poetry_writer
5-7-11, 2:43pm
I walked out of a job that I loved......after the boss informed me that I was the lucky one who had been chosen to permanently work the midnight to 8 am shift. I had been working rotating shifts which was about to kill me, but I so loved the work. I knew that I could not work that shift all the time. It was affecting me mentally and physically. I had worked extra shifts.....6 day weeks when were short handed and she rewarded me by tossing me onto the worst possible shift. No one else wanted to do it for obvious reasons. She refused to discuss with me the possibility of a better schedule. I took off my key and walked out. Living off my savings and thanking the Lord I have them....I could not let the job kill me.
If a job is crushing your soul you should quit as soon as possible. Life is simply too short to deal with such heartache.
That being said, don't try too hard to find validation at the office. Work can be just work, and if you leave the office AT the office, you can find fulfillment in the other 128 hours of the week.
You have no debt, a year's savings & it's just you - if your job won't give you a leave of absence, quit. Life's too short to stress this much over something you don't enjoy. Rest, unwind, go for long rides on your horses. Once you've rested up, you can start putting out feelers for a better job elsewhere. Best wishes to you.
poetry_writer
5-8-11, 2:41pm
This is just a thought...I did this once, with a toxic boss driving me nearly insane....I went to work and simply detached from what was going on there. They were planning to fire me, thinking they could annoy me into quiting so that I couldnt get unemployment. I refused to quit...I simply went, ignored all the bullcrap, did my job and left it at the office at the end of the day. NOT easy to do....I learned to do to survive the environment there, which was very nasty. I got through the day with simple things like a coffee break, stepping outside for air, even reading at my desk. This wont work in all situations but I make it through....and when they fired me for no particular reason "we just dont want you here anymore, clear your cubicle and get out"......I got my unemployment.
I've quit two jobs on the spur of the moment, and don't regret leaving either position. I'd never go back to either of these places of employment. I didn't have a plan, and I didn't have much in savings either, but it worked out all right and I ended up getting a better job with more money. Nowadays, though, I do advise planning ahead if you can and leaving on a good note, since letters of reference are always extremely handy. Good luck...if you have that much in savings it may be worth your mental and physical health to chuck the job and cross your fingers.
Hi y'all. It took me the entire weekend to get calmed down over the trouble my co-worker started on Friday. Have you ever worked with someone who is pure poison? Sigh. It's not over yet though. The day is still young.
Mira - Our contract requires us to give two weeks notice if we quit. I don't know the repercussions of just walking off the job and breaking the contract. But I'd also like to leave on as good terms as possible, so I will give notice if I quit. But believe me, the temptation to just walk out is just about too strong to resist sometimes.
Lhamo - I do still have some contacts in the medical writing field and have been trying to get back in. But the few places that offer that career aren't hiring. I keep my eyes peeled, believe me. You can't believe how many times I've kicked myself for leaving. As for relocating - no, that's not really an option. I'd hate to leave all my family, who live nearby. And it's a bit of an odd situation - I can't sell my house. Although I paid for its construction, it sits on land owned by my parents. So legally it's their house. Dad isn't ready to deed over the land yet. He wants to keep it all together - we live rurally, and he owns about 200 acres or so. I'll check out Ramit Sethi's info - it sounds like I'd agree with the premise, and I can use all the help I can get!
Poetry, Madsen, Herisf and Selah - You're all right. The job isn't worth killing myself, or destroying my soul.
I'm not an impulsive person and need to think this through. I emailed the executive director this morning. He won't set a time, but one way or another I will talk to him about the leave of absence today. If he's not willing to help me out, I may have to quit, because things really have gone too far. It's very encouraging to hear how so many of you have made the decision, and that everything worked out. I really appreciate all the responses here.
Gardenarian
5-9-11, 5:34pm
SRP - I have quit a couple of jobs, but never when times were as hard as these. I feel for you, and admire you for thinking this through so carefully, when clearly you just want out of there now.
Would you be willing to take a less-skilled, transitional position?
Have you brought up the land discussion with your father lately? Maybe if you explained your position, and how you would feel more secure actually owning the house, something would shift?
Anyhow, I hope your crazy co-worker isn't too awful today.
boss mare
5-12-11, 12:19pm
Well, I guess I can't really quit. Okay, I can, but deep down I know I shouldn't. The stress here is ridiculous, but I also know myself, and that being without a job would very likely put me right over the edge. I've been unemployed before, and the memory terrifies me. Also, I've been dodging layoff here for the past three years. The executive director keeps giving me notice, but then finds some way to make ends meet. I'm pretty much to the point of yelling, just do it already!! At least with a layoff, I'd get unemployment benefits. Sigh. The stress of getting a layoff notice is just one more thing to add to the mix.
But last night I was simply exhausted, couldn't focus, etc. and when I got to work today, I very nearly cried.
To answer some questions - I'm single, with no dependents except for my dog and two horses. My house and car are paid for, and I have no debt. I do not have any sort of game plan, except to keep searching for a job. I've wracked my brain for self-employment ideas but can't come up with any that would actually fly in my area. I'm a writer, so you'd think freelancing would be a natural. Well, I have a good friend in the field who was unemployed a while back, and she tried freelancing. Times were very, very tough, and she was extremely grateful to finally find a job.
Catherine - oh yeah, attitude is a big problem. You can't even begin to know how many times I've tried to refocus and adapt. But unfortunately a certain employee keeps stabbing me in the back, and I'm just plain worn out. I certainly admire your guts and convictions when you quit the first time, and even more so the second time for making your plan work.
Apathetic - There's another issue. When I actually have work, I think I do a pretty darned good job. I love to write and edit. But hey - guess what I'm doing right now? Playing on the internet. There is very little work to do in my position, despite my repeated begging and pleading. So peformance? What performance? Sigh.
Tradd - Way to go. Can you give any pointers on an aggressive job hunt? What sort of different techniques did you use?
Bugeah - Hang in there. Maybe we'll both find a way out soon.
Lhamo - I'm glad things worked out for you. I'm taking a lot more leave lately, myself. I hate to burn it all up though, in case I need to take an unscheduled day for an interview... So far my health is ok, I mean I'm hanging in there. The past few weeks have been harder though, and I've been near a crisis point. Maybe they'll level out again. But you're right - I'm not doing anyone any favors by staying here, because I sure don't believe in the organization's mission.
Maybe this weekend will help. I can go home, mess around out in the garden and recharge. Thanks for all the input, people.
Fellow horse person here too
Yes I have just up and walked out on a job... I worked for 2 weeks for the most pompus ass .. He was verbally abusive to his staff and his patients... He said something to me that was sssooo over-the-top offensive while working with patient. I excused myself walked into the back room where we had our lunch room got my coat and purse and left out the back door
I was getting panic attacks and was sssoo stressed out the 2 weeks that I was there .. I had no energy to do anything around the house or even ride my horses . I looked awful and felt that I had aged just in those 2 weeks I was new to the area at the time and he paid very very well for the area, but I would have rather lived in a card board box in the park or shared the stall in the barn with one of my horses and be happy with myself than to work for someone who makes me feel like that but paid alot of money
I would quit... But before you do: stock up on hay now, since the prices are going up due to fuel and stock up on what ever you need beddding ( I use pelleted bedding bought by the ton) grain etc. Get your horses vaccinations and teeth floated all taken care of so that is least done for the year
Stock up on canned and frozen food ...get a freezer ( I got pretty good sized one from the scratch and dent section for very reasonable. I wnet to Costco and bought frozen fruits, veggies, chicken breasts and other meats and cut them into portiion sized serving and had also gotten one of those vaccumm seal -a -meals and vacummed packed them for the freezer
Also gear up knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel ( and it is not a train ) Give yourself a date that you are going to give your 2 weeks notice and start putting is as much over time as possible before you give the notice. and stash that money away
The contract requires you to give notice? I wouldn't worry about that. What could they do if you didn't leave notice - fire you? Even if they can dock your last paycheck for that, it seems a small price for your mental health. Once you're ready to cut ties, the two-week notice thing is just a courtesy to them. If they wanted you out, they'd show you the door without ANY notice. Why treat them any better?
You said you wanted to leave on good terms, but if it's an abusive environment, I think your peace of mind and your health should come first. If your next employer needs a reference from them, they'll probably just confirm your dates of employment.
At this point, I'd say just leave. I'm sort of short-fused, and I've quit tons of jobs without any prospects because I just hate being treated like caca, and can't work with bullies or any kind of subtle (or not-so-subtle) pressure or ostracism.
So I had no job and had to room with someone I didn't want to live with, but it was temporary. You'll have to compromise on some things until you find a a better job, get a business going, or find some other path. But it WILL happen, and you'll get a charge out of leaving that may just be the kick you need right now! The urgency of finding a new way to support yourself can be invigorating. Decide that you're going to act from courage and not fear. Life's too short to take $hit from people! :)
Hi y'all. It took me the entire weekend to get calmed down over the trouble my co-worker started on Friday. Have you ever worked with someone who is pure poison? Sigh. It's not over yet though. The day is still young.
Mira - Our contract requires us to give two weeks notice if we quit. I don't know the repercussions of just walking off the job and breaking the contract. But I'd also like to leave on as good terms as possible, so I will give notice if I quit. But believe me, the temptation to just walk out is just about too strong to resist sometimes.
Lhamo - I do still have some contacts in the medical writing field and have been trying to get back in. But the few places that offer that career aren't hiring. I keep my eyes peeled, believe me. You can't believe how many times I've kicked myself for leaving. As for relocating - no, that's not really an option. I'd hate to leave all my family, who live nearby. And it's a bit of an odd situation - I can't sell my house. Although I paid for its construction, it sits on land owned by my parents. So legally it's their house. Dad isn't ready to deed over the land yet. He wants to keep it all together - we live rurally, and he owns about 200 acres or so. I'll check out Ramit Sethi's info - it sounds like I'd agree with the premise, and I can use all the help I can get!
Poetry, Madsen, Herisf and Selah - You're all right. The job isn't worth killing myself, or destroying my soul.
I'm not an impulsive person and need to think this through. I emailed the executive director this morning. He won't set a time, but one way or another I will talk to him about the leave of absence today. If he's not willing to help me out, I may have to quit, because things really have gone too far. It's very encouraging to hear how so many of you have made the decision, and that everything worked out. I really appreciate all the responses here.
I have. Several times. Just kept looking til I got another. One time it got really scary,but,got hired and moved on. I am not one to stay anywhere too long. Gypsy blood. My sister called me the wind to one of her friends,never know when I'll blow in. I fortunatley have one of those skills that is usually in demand. If there are no machinist jobs in the paper then the economy is going to go down. If there are a good number the economy is on its way back up.Needless to say Feb. 2009 it all went for a nose dive. We on way back up now. Maybe might be a good time to look into getting schooling into something you would like to do. Hey I did.
Life_is_Simple
5-14-11, 11:51pm
I once quit a temp job just by phoning in one evening and saying I wouldn't be coming in the following day or ever again. It's probably a bit more difficult to get up the guts to do that when you've got a lot riding on the job though. Normally, if I don't like a job, I give notice and leave as long as I have a bit of money saved up. I'm not willing to torture myself.
I've historically stayed at torturous jobs too long. I like your attitude. :+1:
frugalista
5-15-11, 8:16am
Sounds like you work at the nonprofit I up and left a number of years ago.
Exec director would not, WOULD NOT address HR issues at all, and my direct boss was toxic with a capital T. No one could work with her. The day I left was the day my baby daughter reached for her sitter instead of me when I picked her up. We were in not a great place financially, but my leaving set a number of life-changing things into motion, and got me where I am today, which is self employed doing work I love. I say take the leap, life is tooooo short to be miserable at a place you hate.
AmeliaJane
5-15-11, 10:06am
To be honest, it sounds like you would be OK if you just quit with 2 weeks notice (which they might not even want...)--finances in good shape, nobody but the horses depending on you...but I am like you in that I would be very anxious about being without a paycheck--have been unemployed once and underemployed once. So if I were in your shoes, I think I would pick a date about six months out, and then focus on spending my time preparing--get things like health insurance researched, get all your health care done, maintenance on the car, stock up on groceries and supplies when you see good prices, etc. When I was underemployed, I cut back expenses quite a bit, but it took awhile to learn about the cheap grocery stores, least expensive produce markets, best thrift stores, etc. You could also look into the various online work opportunities, or for something like working retail or in a coffee shop to bring in money part-time, or look around for some freelance writing clients--probably not enough to cover your expenses, but a way to keep writing--you might also look for a volunteer opportunity you liked. When I was underemployed, I had a volunteer gig I loved--got me out of the house, got me lots of love and appreciation which I needed at the time, and ended up being a resource when I went back to work. You could even plan some inexpensive trip you could take for a few days--one of my regrets from the times being away from work was that I was so focused on that situation, I didn't take advantage of the free time.
That would make the last six months feel like preparation, not desperation, and personally I know I would feel better. But I love planning and anticipation, which might not be you.
Best of luck!
I've historically stayed at torturous jobs too long. I like your attitude. :+1:
Hehe, thank you :)
My long history of doing temporary jobs and quitting crap jobs after a short time does mean my CV/resume is pretty sizeable though! But I do tend to just edit out the cruddy ones...
Relevant:
http://inoveryourhead.net/the-quick-12-step-guide-to-quitting-that-ing-job-you-hate/
SRP just wondering did u get your leave of absence?
Hi Shari - Thanks for checking in! No, I didn't get my leave of absence, and I haven't quit yet, either. Sigh.
I had a meeting with the executive director to ask for the leave. He said it could adversely affect my seniority, which is based on continuous employment. We're in the process of some rather convoluted staff changes. One of them affects a woman who "thinks" she's my boss and makes my life a living h***. Her position is being eliminated, and new one is being created at a lower pay scale. One that goes into effect, the executive director will also eliminate my position and give me my layoff notice. I've known that's coming for a while.
So at that point, both the co-worker and I will be able to apply for the new jobI'm - both she and I will be able to apply for it. If she leaves, this place may be tolerable. So I'm waiting it out to see what happens.
To top it all off, this co-worker tried to stir up trouble about 2 weeks ago, but it backfired on her. I have a copy of the letter the executive director gave her, since the trouble affected me, and that letter is a thing of beauty. :) It really put her in her place. I've got this crazy hope that maybe she's on the way out.
It sounds to me like the ED is in your corner -- at least more in your corner than in hers! I would try to hang on and see how this plays out. It is her position that is being eliminated, not yours. And you are the one with the potential for a promotion, while for her it is a demotion. And she has just been written up. SOunds pretty clear to me. Not sure what kind of ED you have, but often they are very cautious when it comes to personnel issues. Maybe he was just waiting for a chance to get this all lined up so that he can be sure she gets gone.
CAn you take and time off over the next couple of weeks to destress a bit?
lhamo
ApatheticNoMore
5-16-11, 5:02pm
Do you even CARE about your seniority? I mean I imagine there's pensions and so on involved (if it's not about biggies like pensions, then it is even more of an idle threat!), but do you even know you'll be at that company in 6 months?
Yea I think you should have negotiated harder for the leave. Of course doing so has risks and you need to trust your intuition (not the equivalent of your fears :)) but .... bad situation.
I quit a very good govmint career job that I loved a few years ago when I was 42 so that I could persue other things while I was young-ish. I had always planned to go back to work within 5 years or less. Like you, I also didn't have anyone I was responsible for except my many pets, had no debt and a bit in savings - enough to last about 5 years if I was frugal - and a house that was paid for. In the end I found a way to spend less than I thought I would, and by selling my house and downsizing, I was able to turn my sabbatical into permanent retirement. I had a few things going for me that helped like free medical thru the military and a govmint pension I could begin collecting once I reach 50, but mostly it was my lifestyle choices that lead me to be able to make the ultimate decision to leave my job. There are many things to consider - medical insurance premiums are always rising, same with energy costs, and food - so you need to decide if you are willing to forgo some non-needed things in order to pay for the needed things if you must. I think it all depends on how you want to live, what you would "happily" live without, and if you see those things as sacrifices or as a way to being more happy and fulfilled. For instance I don't have alot of stuff others have like cable tv, internet access at home, fine dining and theatre or concerts, fancy coffees, fancy cars, fancy house, designer clothes, etc... But I don't want those things anyways, so it is no sacrifice to not have them. Don't miss what you don't want anyways! So, think about how you would live, what you would do with your day and how satified you'd be with that lifestyle. Ask yourself if it's really free time you want or just the job you hate. Many people find the unstructured life of complete freedom aweful and really want to work. I have a very structured, very busy and fulfilling life even though I don't work - would you be fine with structuring your own time? With having no contact with people in a job setting? Working isn't just about earning money, it's about a whole lot else too. Think about those things before making a choice.
ApatheticNoMore
5-17-11, 1:49am
Ask yourself if it's really free time you want or just the job you hate. Many people find the unstructured life of complete freedom aweful and really want to work.
Not working is great :). I'm a MUCH happier person. Granted I am focused on having an income again SOMEDAY so I do have goals even if they are a bit open. The plan isn't to never ever work again ever or anything (but hey if I COULD .....).
With having no contact with people in a job setting? Working isn't just about earning money, it's about a whole lot else too.
The whole lot else was just stuff I hated (I hated all of it really), ugh. The only reason I worked was to earn money. I like money. :)
Lhamo - actually my position is going to be eliminated as well. The executive director told me about pending layoff months ago. I estimate the notice will come in July. The exec dir is kind of a weenie and not really a very good leader, and our entire organization is suffering because of it. I was really surprised at the strong stance he took about this particular situation, and I can't help but think that maybe you're right - that he's been working to line this up. I have time I could take off, but I'm kind of hesitant now, with the way things are developing.
ApatheticNoMore - The thing with seniority is, if my co-worker who was just demoted decides to stay on as associate staff (lower capacity), then she'll actually have less seniority than I will. That means when my position is eliminated, it might actually be her who is laid off. Very weird and convoluted, but our contract specifies that the person with the least seniority gets laid off first. So unless I'm truly ready to leave, as in quitting, I do have to be concerned with seniority. And no, I have no idea whether I'll be here in six months, because it could still work out that I get laid off.
But whenever I think about quitting, as good as it sounds, I feel it's the wrong thing to do. I'd be okay for a year or two, assuming I remain unemployed. But I have to keep my family in mind. I am single with no dependents as I said, but my parents' financial situation has been pretty tenuous for the past few years and I want to be able to help when I can. It's not something they would expect or demand of me, but they've already reluctantly accepted help this past winter.
So... I guess I'm saying that I actually can't risk quitting.
Spartana - I admire you for turning 5 years of savings into financial independence. That's impressive! And oh lordy yes, I'd be happy as a pig in mud structuring my own time and being away from co-workers. no problem there at all! :)
Spartana - I admire you for turning 5 years of savings into financial independence. That's impressive! And oh lordy yes, I'd be happy as a pig in mud structuring my own time and being away from co-workers. no problem there at all! :)
Actually it was this site (or rather the old SLN site) and the ideas I got here that lead me to that transition. Just the one change - selling my house and moving to a much less expensive area - made the biggest difference. Sometimes just one thing can make a big impact.
I think you should do your best to hang on a few more weeks and see how this all plays out. His strong reaction to your request for leave and the fact that he pointed out what it would mean in terms of seniority, coupled with the information that nasty coworker will end up with less seniority than you after her demotion, is to me a pretty clear sign that you are his preferred candidate for the new position. Otherwise why not just let you take your leave, lay you off, move her into the new position and be done with it? He wants to keep you around. Now, whether that is the best thing for you in the long run is another question. But maybe once Ms. Nasty is gone the job will be more tolerable. Anyway, since all these changes are coming within the next few weeks, I would try to stick it out and see how the chips fall.
lhamo
SRP - I read this as you being a preferred candidate also. Things may be looking up in a matter of a fairly short time. Hang in there!
Don't know what you'd call this: I had a boss ask me to falsify bookkeeping records. I refused. He told me that if I didn't do what he said, I'd be fired. I looked at him and stated "well, I guess I'm fired". Went to the unemployment office and told them what had transpired. They had me write a letter with names of the individuals he was working with to do some high-end bartering, but it would have looked like I swiped the money out of the client's accounts. The reason was they did not want to pay taxes on the bartering they were doing. Guess what -- he was fined by state treasury dept and the IRS. Meanwhile, I found a job within 2 months.
I knew that he "screwed" clients over. His business used a 3-week cycle as a month cycle, so clients were charged every 3 weeks instead of 4. I did what I had to do for ethical purposes. If I had to do it again, I would.
Lhamo and Shari - Thanks for your positive outlook on this mess. I do hope you're right!
Debi - I think you did exactly the right thing, and I'm very glad it worked out so well for you.
I left my job when I was 48, also with the same intent. It has been five years and I really want to go back to a position I would enjoy working with people. I do not find all of the good executive volunteer work I do "a passion" without a check. I want benefits and a salary. I tried to reinvent myself a couple times, but am still struggling to find "it". You are right about living more frugally though. I don't miss spending $100 or more every three months for a hair cut and color. I do it myself (except the cut-and I do that at a place where they charge me $20 now). I don't go out to eat as often, but that is not a big deal to me. I have had to forgo invitations to travel with friends due to the costs and that is not comfortable.
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