Wedding Thank You

[BikingLady]

Are Thank You cards still sent? Knowing that many are made on a computer so perhaps not the old package set that came with Thank You notes. I do not know the way things are done today when it comes to that kind of stuff.

We gave the largest gift to a nephew and wife we ever gave to anyone. I was feeling that this was the last event and we only have a nephew and niece, she is next year married. SO we thought about if we did this the niece would get the same gift amount and we put it in the budget.

I know a gift is what you want to give and no response is needed as it came from your heart....but I honestly thought we would get a Huge thank you, wow thanks.....nothing 3 months later. Maybe it is just not done anymore?

[rosarugosa]

I haven't been to a wedding for the longest time, but if thank-you notes are no longer done, I didn't get the memo.

[Tybee]

Thank you cards are the way they have always been. We have given several wedding gifts in the last few years and the thank you notes have always come in, often right away, and the same little cards we used to send out. No change in that, either.

But sometimes the cards are late--technically, they have up to one year to send them out, according to Emily Post.

Did they cash the check, so you know that they actually got the gift?

[Yppej]

I wonder if the one year came about when the superrich took a year-long honeymoon grand tour.

[Gardnr]

We also did not receive a thank you for the most recent wedding gift. give and let-go I suppose is the newest fad.

[Chicken lady]

My kids both sent “homemade” cards with lovely notes. (Son in law is an artist, and dd2 is a graphic designer and made her brother’s as a gift)

[goldensmom]

If I am invited to a wedding I personally congratulate and thank the couple for inviting me to their celebrate their day. If I cannot attend, I send a card and a money gift. I do expect a written thank you as common courtesy, a personal thank you is accepted as well. Ironically and as an example, I never received a thank you, verbal or written, from my niece who was married 6 years ago and, not that the value of the gift determines the response, I gave her twice the $$$ I would give anyone else because of the relationship. Yes, let go as there is no other choice but whatever happened to common courtesies?

[Williamsmith]

My wife and I are enforcers in that regard. If any of our kids does not take care of the sincere thank you for any gift.....they get reminded until it’s done. Those reminders can be pretty blunt. It’s just basic common courtesy you learn as soon as you can speak......”Thank you”.

Some day, they might have a baby shower? Pay back time.

[razz]

First, do you know that they received the gift? Second, if you have not heard for a while, I would query about it being received and whether it was a suitable gift or would something else be better as you care looking for suggestions for the upcoming wedding and don't want to repeat the wrong gift.
Who to ask often the challenge. I assume that this is the son of one of your siblings. How well do you get along with them? Would they tell you? Sometimes the parents of the bride and groom are horrified at the omission or neglect of thank you's. I would raise it as an issue.

[Tybee]

If a niece of nephew does not send a thank you gift, I never mention it to the parents, as that might be hurtful to them--I would be embarrassed if someone said that to me, and there is really nothing a parent can do with adult children--they are adults, after all, and responsible for their own actions.

I don't send more gifts--and that means you, Miss V. who never acknowledged the emerald graduation ring.

[Sad Eyed Lady]

I see this often - no acknowledgment of a gift, verbal or otherwise. I find it rude personally, and it makes me not so enthusiastic to give gifts. I am fine with someone just saying "thank you", a phone call, even a text or facebook message, but unfortunately with younger people it seems to be thought of more as an entitlement rather than a gift. So...rant over.

[BikingLady]

I had not been to a wedding since around 1984??? It took 4-5 weeks to cash the check. We love the family no hard feelings, I was just wondering how things were today.

[KayLR]

I think they've gone the way of the rotary phone. I haven't received one in many years. And I've been to numerous weddings. Maybe it's just a PacNW thing....pretty loose up here.

[Tammy]

Just today I got a thank you from a dec 2016 wedding.

[catherine]

Just today I got a thank you from a dec 2016 wedding.

I think etiquette says that you have a year to give a wedding gift, and recipients have 3 months to write thank-you's.

[Tammy]

I was hoping they got the cash. I didn't write a check that time, if I remember right. Then I forgot all about it - but it was nice to know they got it.

I really don't care much about all this - how things are done or if I get a thank you. I'd be just as happy getting a text from the honeymoon saying "thanks! We're using your money for dinner tonight!" 😄

[iris lilies]

As an acknowledgement that it was received, a “thank you” note is essential to me.

If I put it in their hands, say at a shower, then I dont care about the “thank you” note since they thanked me verbally and I know they got it.

[Tybee]

I think etiquette says that you have a year to give a wedding gift, and recipients have 3 months to write thank-you's.
Ooh, you are right! I had it backwards. You have year to send a gift. They have 3 months to send the thank you.

Unfortunately, the whole wedding things lately has seemed to be kind of warped--the "destination weddings" being particularly awful.

[goldensmom]

Did they get the gift? I always give a money gift by check so I can see if it was received and cashed. The last wedding I attended the card 'box' was an open topped galvanized pail and when I put my card in the pail there was no one around guarding the gifts and card pail. Anyone could walk by and take an envelope with cash. I've thought of giving a gift card but the same thing could happen as with cash.

[Teacher Terry]

I have always been thanked for a wedding gift. Even a email or text would be fine with me. However, if I was totally ignored I would not give anymore gifts.

[befree]

still good manners, IMO, but many millenials are completely unaware...their parents never taught them that a thank-you card is proper.

[iris lilies]

We used to get thank you cards from all of our neices and nephews. They are older than millenials, though, most of them.

[BikingLady]

So I would never tell my SIL/BIL that I did not get a card. I did however ask after a month or so why my check had not been cashed, She said you are the second person today to ask, so I will find out. The check cashed after that. So maybe they are just slow.