February Purge

[ejchase]

Gave one hand-me-down from my daughter to a friend with a younger daughter. It's a start! :)

[rosarugosa]

Thanks for getting us started, EJ!
I donated two books to the library. I've been trying to bring a couple every time I go, and since I seldom buy books anymore, it is gradually decreasing my collection. I tossed out some lotion that had a fragrance I hated (I thought I would use it up in the name of frugality, but life is too short). Added a couple of small things to the donations box.

[happystuff]

Best I've done so far is found a new box for donations. Just have to start filling it now!

[ejchase]

Took 25 books to the local used bookstore and library, 19 items to thrift store, 44 wire hangers to the dry cleaners (they will take them back!), and threw out 7 items from my closet that had holes in them (putting in cedar hangers now to protect sweaters from now on).

Total for month: 96!

[ejchase]

Best I've done so far is found a new box for donations. Just have to start filling it now!

My mantra: "Any step forward is a step forward!"

[happystuff]

Actually, I walked by the box yesterday and there were two shirts in it! I think my family is finally starting to get it! LOL.

[ejchase]

Happystuff, I'm realizing we need a "give-away box" prominently displayed in our upstairs hallway. My daughter is actually pretty good about getting rid of stuff, so I think she'd use it.

Returned nine items of clothing to stores, gave one more book to the library. New total: 106.

[Teacher Terry]

I have another bag for thrift store but am waiting to see if I find anything else before making the trip.

[happystuff]

I really like having a specific box for donations. It makes it easy to take something that is no longer needed/wanted and have a place to put it right away. Plus, if over the course of time before the physical donation I find that I actually need/use the item - it is easy to retrieve. It has worked very well for us.

[rosarugosa]

I agree, Happystuff, and I seldom take items out of the box once I've put them in there.

[Lainey]

Recently we've been going to the Goodwill on their half-price Saturdays. But my policy is to also bring something to donate, even if it's one item, so I'm continuing the purge of unwanted items. We buy small items like puzzles, or recently I've bought some birdhouses to paint and use as decoration on a long brown fence.
This Saturday I'll have 10 items to donate, so we are ahead in releasing the old and bringing in any new.

[ejchase]

Got rid of a mini-fridge I had to remove from my office at work, and a neighbor came and carted away a playhouse that is now more age-appropriate for his daughter than for mine. Also took 8 items to the local charity thrift store.

New total for month: 116.

[rosarugosa]

I purged 2 clothing items from my closet yesterday.
In my sister's world, there is a "nook" in the lobby of her condo where people put rather nice items that are no longer wanted. Helped Sis drop off some brand new with tags Teddy Bears on our way out today. I'm sure there is a story to go with her acquisition of said bears, but haven't heard it yet. There is a cute little girl who lives in her building, so we're hoping she gets them. :)

[frugalone]

Today I threw out some old calendar pages, brought a book to the library to donate to their sale table, three magazines, four Christmas cards. I also started deleting personal information from my Palm Pilot. Remember them? I don't know who would want it. I don't know if Best Buy would take it, or the Salvation Army.

[iris lilies]

I feel as though I had victories today. I walked away from 3 piles in alleys, but it was HARD!

I picked up an attractive lamp base for a flower dedign thingie but put it down, thinking it was shaped like the thingI threw away last week. I carefully looked over a cheapie Ikea MDF type end table but rejected it because I really want drawers. I fussed over a headboard and footboard that, utimately, looked as though it was broken.

so,
I did not bring any of this crap into my sphere. Eventually I’ll get the items I really need.

[ejchase]

Iris Lilies, I call those kinds of decisions "pre-cluttering." Good for you for recognizing none of those things was exactly what you wanted. Rosarugosa and frugalone, it seems like you both are getting a fair amount done.

I returned a Tupperware to a friend and also passed on a nicely framed Picasso print to her. New total for month: 118.

[iris lilies]

Yesterday I succumbed to a dining room table in a industrial dumpster. I saw it,asked permission to take it, and ran home to get DH to load it into our truck. It was free but I handed out $15 to guys who helped load it. Later, I teased a neighbor across the street as she was hauling in a new chair with price tag “hey, you should just go across the street and grab some of that furniture they are throwing away!”and she replied “there is a great table in the dumpster, did you see it?” And I was able to tell her that we had already bagged it.

it is a mahogany type table that seats 6. It is exactly what I knew i could get for free if I waited long enough and was vigilent in checking dumpsters and alleys.

Now, i need bedside stands, at least one, and I need two kitchen type chairs. These will be found in the alleys, I just know it. And still need two more upholstered chairs and these I will probably be able to get free if I watch neighborhood freebie listings.

[debbie]

I read here how you can use your old Amazon boxes to send stuff to Goodwill so I loaded two giant boxes with puzzles that I know I won't do again. Then I got a call from AMVETS and they came and picked it up for me so I didn't even have to drive ! I still have two tubs of puzzles that I will do over again. As long as AMVETS was coming , I got rid of five pair of socks and 3 shirts 4 pair of shoes that were pretty new but hurt my feet. I decided I will never wear uncomfortable shoes anymore! Life is too short!

[ejchase]

Iris Lilies, I envy your dining room table find! Congrats!

Debbie, wow! You got rid of a lot, and I applaud your decision to cut uncomfortable shoes out of your life.

[happystuff]

I guess this counts as a purge/declutter project. I have had a Longaberger recipe basket for years but never really used it. I just finished up going through a recipe binder and small index card box of recipes, culled the ones I wanted to keep and ditched the rest. The binder and index card box are in the donation box. Now - if I only knew what to make for dinner tonight... LOL.

[rosarugosa]

I'm helping Mom declutter and organize her clothing (she has lots, I guess it's a thing with the women in my family). We dropped off two large bags at Savers, and I'm sure there will be more to come! For some reason she has much of her clothing on free-standing racks in the hall and her closets have plenty of space, so our objective is to get all the clothing into closets or drawers.

[mschrisgo2]

Rosa, you said "for some reason" - how easy is it for her to access the closet? My mother was hanging her clothes in the hall too. Turned out, she was getting confused and frustrated with the sliding doors on her closet, i.e. what she wanted was "always" on the other side. We took the doors off, and hung a beautiful curtain with easy-to-use tie-backs. Issue resolved.

[rosarugosa]

Mschrisgo2: That is a good point. I do try to understand why she does the things that she does that don't seem (to me) to serve her well. She doesn't have any mobility issues and the closets all have good accessibility. There is a nice walk-in closet in my former bedroom that used to hold all the clothes for me, my sister and my dad (once upon a time), and then there is a smaller closet in her bedroom, and one small closet in my sister's former bedroom. So there should be more than adequate storage for one person. The closet in "my room" was 75% empty, but she had lots of clothes hanging on the canopy rail of the bed. She keeps a lot of stuff on her kitchen counters too, and her cabinets are not full. Since she is having memory issues, my best guess is that out of sight = out of mind, so she wants everything right out where she can see it. That might work if she had a lot less stuff, but she has the overabundance that so many of us struggle with. However, she is very receptive to my help, and is happy to donate things that don't fit anymore. I know from my own efforts at home that it's a lot easier to find what you want in a closet if you eliminate a whole bunch of stuff you don't really want. So I guess we'll proceed along and see where it gets us. Despite her memory issues, Mom is still smart and articulate and we have good communication, so we do try to talk through some of these subjects. I'll try to explore more directly why she wanted the clothing rack in the middle of the hallway in the first place. It must have seemed like a good idea to her for some reason!

[Tybee]

Mschrisgo2: That is a good point. I do try to understand why she does the things that she does that don't seem (to me) to serve her well. She doesn't have any mobility issues and the closets all have good accessibility. There is a nice walk-in closet in my former bedroom that used to hold all the clothes for me, my sister and my dad (once upon a time), and then there is a smaller closet in her bedroom, and one small closet in my sister's former bedroom. So there should be more than adequate storage for one person. The closet in "my room" was 75% empty, but she had lots of clothes hanging on the canopy rail of the bed. She keeps a lot of stuff on her kitchen counters too, and her cabinets are not full. Since she is having memory issues, my best guess is that out of sight = out of mind, so she wants everything right out where she can see it. That might work if she had a lot less stuff, but she has the overabundance that so many of us struggle with. However, she is very receptive to my help, and is happy to donate things that don't fit anymore. I know from my own efforts at home that it's a lot easier to find what you want in a closet if you eliminate a whole bunch of stuff you don't really want. So I guess we'll proceed along and see where it gets us. Despite her memory issues, Mom is still smart and articulate and we have good communication, so we do try to talk through some of these subjects. I'll try to explore more directly why she wanted the clothing rack in the middle of the hallway in the first place. It must have seemed like a good idea to her for some reason!

Rosa, if your mom is getting dementia, then her leaving clothes out makes sense. It is much easier for folks with dementia to find things that are out, and difficult to find things that are put away. I saw my mom do that--all her clothes were out in piles on the bed in a spare bedroom, and she dressed from the clothes on the bed for several years. Now that she is in assisted living, it is hard for her to figure out the closet thing and what she has.

(I am not saying she should leave all her clothes out, just saying it is common behavior with this kind of cognitive issue.)

So I think you are on the right track getting the wardrobe pruned down to a very workable number of things, all of which work without much difficulty, and all of which make her happy to wear. With my mom, I tried to buy her new clothes (since she could not seem to discriminate between things that needed to go because of holes and stains, etc.) that satisfied needs of comfort, ease of taking on and off, and also some sensory appeal--like velour, which is warm and soft and comforting as a fabric. So maybe help rethink the wardrobe while you are at this.

[rosarugosa]

Thanks, Tybee. It is interesting to hear of your similar experiences and I appreciate the good advice. Actually, a simplified wardrobe makes sense for pretty much anyone.

I am always so appreciative of the sharing of wisdom that takes place in the SLF!

PS: She does have the little piles of clothes thing going on too.

[rosarugosa]

Today I spent the day clearing out and organizing Mom's cellar stairwell. We had made a bit of a deal. Her MD had recommended a Medilert type of device since she is 85 and lives alone. Mom told me quite emphatically that she doesn't want one, that it will make her feel diminished as a person. I said she certainly has the right to make that choice, but how about if we get rid of some of the tripping hazards around her house? She readily agreed!
Mom had every fancy dusting cloth or gadget ever invented. She had 11 Swiffer mops! She had things that probably have historical interest in terms of the history of housekeeping! And now she has far less, and what she does have is much better organized and not spilling all over her cellar stairs. Yay us!
Next week we will resume clothes and closets. The stairwell was the priority today because National Grid needed to get into her cellar to replace her gas meter.
I am basking in the glow of productive accomplishment. :cool:

[rosarugosa]

Oh yes, I also responsibly disposed of a couple of 32-year-old bottles of percocet and methadone at the public safety building (from Mom's cellar).

[catherine]

Thanks, Tybee. It is interesting to hear of your similar experiences and I appreciate the good advice. Actually, a simplified wardrobe makes sense for pretty much anyone.

I am always so appreciative of the sharing of wisdom that takes place in the SLF!

PS: She does have the little piles of clothes thing going on too.

Boy...

It was very difficult to have my dad die homeless on the side of the building of the Bowery, and lose my mother when I was 45, after she had lost all her belongings in a fire. But I guess the silver lining is that at this stage of my life I have been spared the trials of others my age with octogenerian and nonagenarian parents. I feel for all of you guys.

[ejchase]

Catherine, Tybee, rosarugosa, I feel for all of you.

So great, Tybee and rosarugosa, that you are so thoughtful about how to help your parents deal with their "stuff" as they experience dementia. I'm realizing that figuring out how to deal with my stuff can be extremely stressful even with a sound body and mind. It must be extremely stressful when you know you're having trouble remembering things.

I donated 4 books to the library and another 24 items to Goodwill. New total for month: 142.

[JaneV2.0]

I'm not demented (and barring something like stroke, I doubt I will be) but I use hanging racks because the closets in this house are worthless--tiny, dark, and cramped.

I continue to add to the donation pile, which is getting pretty large. I suppose it's time to deliver.

[flowerseverywhere]

My quilt guild is having their annual garage sale. I had a large pile of books, fabric, and patterns to donate. 12 of us spent four hours going through bags and piles of stuff people donated to tag and package and we are not done. It was amazing. Fabric people paid $10 and up a yard, piles of it that people did not want. There were three kits donated for king size quilts that probably were purchased for $100+ that were opened, a few pieces cut and sewn then put on a shelf. Scrapbookers, knitters, quilters and other crafters can relate I am sure.

I was ruthless going going through my craft stuff. I recently had surgery, the first time I had been under anesthesia. Before I went in, I was thinking, what is going to happen to all this stuff if I am the one who has a crazy reaction and dies? I am sure I could make ten king sized quilts with all the stuff I have. And I make complicated quilts so finishing them in my lifetime is questionable.

Anyway, it is so much more organized and I can find what I want! Hooray. Plus my group is using the money on various charity quilts. We make beautiful quilts that organizations raffle for cash, and they make a lot of money. Except they can’t call it a raffle because of some laws involving non profits. But nonetheless they raise a lot of money to help foster kids and families who are trying to lift themselves out of poverty. Nice to have some beautiful new things in your life.

[sweetana3]

I have bought some interesting quilting kits off ebay for less than 25% of the retail cost. A couple I might even put up again since it was such a bargain.

We have had a couple of huge quilter estate sales. One took up two huge community rooms of a local church. Friends and guild members had laid it all out. The widower was there and so thankful for all the purchases. He would not have been able to deal with the hoard otherwise. I think I will write up some instructions for my will.

[beckyliz]

Cleaned out my buffet Saturday morning and have 2 boxes of serving dishes, etc. that I no longer need or want in the back of my car to drop off at lunchtime today. The buffet was getting too full to be functional, which drives me crazy.

[iris lilies]

I happened in to Goodwill to see them cleaning out the chinaware shelves. The Goodwill employee said they do that about once a week because so many dishes come in. I think they keep some things on the shelf theough several cleanouts, however, because I see them more than once.

This clean out did not make me anxious as a person who dances around the hoarding of dishes, so I must not be too far into in the dish-hoarding mindset.

so now in my flower show hobby, I regularly sign up for show classes that feature dishes.

I am sitting here at home thinking of some small, square Asian type appetizer plates I saw at GW that have character. They were 50 cents each. i think I need two of them for some future, as yet unidentified, flower show competition.

[frugalone]

Donating two books today. Books are always hard for me to get rid of. I love them so much!

But one of these in particular, I opened it up and realized I hadn't looked at it in YEARS, and there's a reason why: I just don't like it all that much.

[saguaro]

My quilt guild is having their annual garage sale. I had a large pile of books, fabric, and patterns to donate. 12 of us spent four hours going through bags and piles of stuff people donated to tag and package and we are not done. It was amazing. Fabric people paid $10 and up a yard, piles of it that people did not want. There were three kits donated for king size quilts that probably were purchased for $100+ that were opened, a few pieces cut and sewn then put on a shelf. Scrapbookers, knitters, quilters and other crafters can relate I am sure.

My mom had a bunch of quilting and knitting stuff. Fabrics, patterns, templates, tons of yarn. All of it went to charity quilt and knitting groups in my area. Heck I even threw in some of my fabric and yarns left from projects. It was nice to know this stuff was going to folks who will use it.

[rosarugosa]

DH & I combined have gotten rid of 19 articles of clothing net for the year (6 items in and 25 out). I have a few more that are definitely going out, but I haven't decided if I want to try to consign or eBay them rather than just donate them.
Two more books are also gone.

[rosarugosa]

One of DH's t-shirt discards (Alice Cooper) is in good shape and seems to go for pretty good money on eBay, so I listed that as well as an Alice Cooper bandanna. Nowadays we try to avoid the merchandise and just spend our money on the tickets (and maybe some wine at the show).;)

[rosarugosa]

On the home front, we already have a $50 bid on the t-shirt! Auction runs through Monday, so it will be fun to see how this goes.
At Mom's house, it turns out that many of the clothes on the hall rack have stains that need to be treated. So now she has a huge new pile of laundry in addition to the several piles she already has, and she absolutely refuses to let me help with the laundry, which has me so frustrated! She keeps saying that she likes to do laundry, but I told her that actions speak louder than words. She is incredibly fussy about laundry, as with many things, and I think sometimes her standards are too high and she gets tired just thinking about living up to them. Most people would think I am pretty fussy about laundry, but I might not be up to Mom's standards. Mom would not let me use the washing machine until I was 24 years old, so I would say she is a little weird about laundry, and prides herself on her laundry skills. The laundry room is her domain! She is quick to let me help with other things, and I would say they are things in which she doesn't particularly take pride or feel a strong sense of mastery. I'm pondering at what point do I just do the damned laundry and say "sorry, you are just not managing this effectively?" It's a bit of a balancing act and I'm going to just monitor the situation for now. I don't want to encroach on her sense of autonomy any more than necessary. She also has enough clothing to go a good long time without doing any laundry. That was her strategy when we were kids; everyone had like 30 pairs of underwear, lol. That might partially explain why my sister and I tend to acquire way too many clothes.

[Tybee]

It sounds like she has too many clothes. Can you persuade her to cull the ones with stains and pick a number of items per category-- x shirts, x pants, etc. that are in line with her current lifestyle, and then cull out 75% of the clothes. If she had a manageable number, then laundry might be enjoyable again for her (and I too enjoy doing laundry and ironing, so I get where she is coming from.)

[iris lilies]

Wow, $50 dor that tshirt so far! Yay!

[rosarugosa]

It sounds like she has too many clothes. Can you persuade her to cull the ones with stains and pick a number of items per category-- x shirts, x pants, etc. that are in line with her current lifestyle, and then cull out 75% of the clothes. If she had a manageable number, then laundry might be enjoyable again for her (and I too enjoy doing laundry and ironing, so I get where she is coming from.)

Tybee: I just read two blog posts about managing laundry, and minimizing wardrobe was a top tip for both. I know I can get Mom to cull some of her clothing, but not 75% in one fell swoop. She has 18 pairs of white summer pants, and I know a lot of people don't have 18 pairs of pants total! On the plus side, she has apparently done a lot of laundry since I was last there!

[Tybee]

Tybee: I just read two blog posts about managing laundry, and minimizing wardrobe was a top tip for both. I know I can get Mom to cull some of her clothing, but not 75% in one fell swoop. She has 18 pairs of white summer pants, and I know a lot of people don't have 18 pairs of pants total! On the plus side, she has apparently done a lot of laundry since I was last there!

Holy c#@p that is a lot of white summer pants! Reminds me of a lady whose closet I helped organize who had 125 golf shirts. We just picked an arbitrary number and got rid of anything over that number. It was still an insane number of golf shirts.

When I culled my books before moving one time, I put them out in piles of three and said, "which one of these do I prefer over the other two" and got rid of 2 out of 3 at a time.

Maybe you could try that, after getting rid of the obvious stained/ripped/non fitting ones.

But I agree, sounds like going slow is the way to go. It might actually be a fun project, unless she hangs onto everything and is resistant to getting rid of anything. then, not so fun.