View Full Version : not taking meds
Maybe this is under health, but here it is. So my son needs anti-depressants and we even upped the dose because we were still having issues. Well I finally got the bottle and daily med organizer from him and he has taken 20 doses in the last 60 days. Dang it again!! He is back to crying and with random pains and sleeplessness. He keeps on teling me he is taking it and even looked me in the eye and said he is taking it when I had the evidence in my hands that he has not taken it as he should. I knew I should be checking more often but I am just trying to take care of everything else in life and trusted him to do it this time.
So we are back to square one, there are 2 weeks of school left and it will not be effective before the end of school. I am taking time off today finally, during the worst busy month of the year, and dealing with this and a load of other things that need to be handled.
Last week he just didn't go to school, the girls did not wake up, nothing from any of them. I had to pick up someone at the airport late and was not going to come home that night and they all asured me they coudl get Tyler to school that one morning. Well no one did. So I ran away from home for a night and had his dad pick him up. It was very dramatic and crazy. I can tell when he is not taking his meds and he just thinks I am being mean and not talking to him, I even asked dad to check his meds when he was there but I guess he didn;t (it takes a LOT of pressure to get Tyler to show you his med bottle).
sooo very frustrated right now, I want my son to feel better and we are lucky to live in a time when help is available, argh......
I would think overseeing your son's meds would be your No. 1 priority. It was mine when I had a son on meds.
I'm surprised he hasn't figured out just throwing one dose away every day. It sounds like you need to administer the drugs.
Responsibility is earned. Sounds like you are back to needing to oversee it daily and you keeping the meds away from him. Actually I'm surprised he hasn't tried selling his meds at school, that seems so prevalent nowadays.
Some kids need a parent to be on top of things like that, I would make him take the pill in front of me. My youngest has issues and needs more guidance then my oldest, I feel for you.
Thank you all, the day has not gotten much better but I dropped him at dads for a few hours. All my kids have depression and sometimes the house just gets overwhelmed with it all. I am trying to change the 'mood' of the house by not letting the depression just go. We have meds and counselors and all that so we deal with it but I dropped the ball on watching his meds. In my defense it took 10-15 minutes of 100% focus on him to get the med bottle and pill reminder from him. I typically do not have that kind of time, I can remind and watch him while making lunches or otherwise mutlitasking but he has been counting on me not having the time to really push to see the actual bottles.
So i will pick him up for counseling later and meanwhile dad gets a turn.
Is he resisting the medication because of side effects? Most drugs seem to come with a lot of them. Something to consider.
are you also adding in alternative therapies such as diet, exercise, meditation, arts, etc? I know it's a lot. There's also a massive brain-gut connection, that often leads to depression (there is some evidence that certain bacterial overgrowths create byproduct chemicals that nearly "create" depression. Do internet research on it -- doctors tend not to know about it in general, but there are doctors doing research on it).
I would also administer the meds, each day, so you know it's done.
Are you sure he isn't bipolar and not just depressed? Because if the meds are helping him, and it is more "run of the mill" depression (not that any serious illness is routine), this doesn't make any sense -- unless as someone above pointed out there is some kind of other negative side effect that he isn't telling you about. But what I have read about bipolar is that it can be REALLY hard to keep people on their meds because while they want to escape the downside of it, they also are kind of addicted to/craving the upswings. So as soon as the meds start to stabilize them on the downside, they stop taking them because they are eager to get back to the high place.
It also sounds a bit like all of your kids are still jerking your chain and finding their own ways (negative if necessary) to get your attention. Sounds like he may be a bit addicted to the drama -- why else would he choose pain and sleeplessness over taking a simple pill? They may all have their issues, and maybe it isn't fair to hold the older girls accountable for dealing with your son, but at least in the case of the older one I would think you are well within your rights to ask for some kind of minimal support and assistance in keeping the house running (including getting your son out of bed if necessary) when you need it as a condition of living at your house. If she isn't part of the solution, she is part of the problem.
((((((((((((((((HUgs)))))))))))))))))))) to you all. I know how hard it is to deal with depression, and there probably are no easy answers. But I do think laying down some basic expectations and limits is crucial. Set a routine and stick with it. Have him take his meds in your presence.
lhamo
argh, I had a great reply and then my internet died and I had to log back in.
The kids are just messing with me honestly. I am tired of it. Tyler went to school for dad and now is at my house and seems fine. Just dandy huh. I took the whole day off work and after the drama I have been cleaning out papers, paying old bills, replaced my worn out cell phone now that i have an upgrade, etc. I have more than earned a day off work from recent events.
I know that the reason I backed off checking the meds was because there is a pattern of me doing too much, the kids haveing something convenient to fight (mom telling them what to do) and I am sick of the conflict over this. However he must attend school even if he screwed up taking his meds because maybe next time I remind him he will recall how painful it is to be feeling like this and still have to go to school. Before I sound heartless this has been going on for at least a year now, we have multiple DR's and meds but it is at the point where he needs to make a decision to accept help. I know, I have been there myself.
Okay, onward and upward
rodeosweetheart
5-10-11, 7:28pm
Zoe, if he will go to school for his dad, would you consider just letting him move in there for a while? Teenage boys are notorious for needing to be around their dads, and behaving a lot better there. Would he still get the psych care he needs? It might be a good solution for all.
Some people (namely me) just aren't very good at taking medications. I am over 50, with a graduate degree, have held responsible jobs since my teens, and lead people into the wilderness on a semi-regular basis--returning with everyone I left with. I have also had bouts of depression, mostly seasonal in recent times.
I have major issues with consistency in taking medications, regularly ending up with 6 or 8 cholesterol pills at the end of the month. I was successful on Prozac (generic now available), it has a long enough half-life in the body to be tolerant of my inconsistent dosages. Cymbalta was a disaster; my mood was VERY up and down on it and I asked my doctor to return to Prozac. It has a short half-life in the body and I was apparently not able to maintain a stable concentration.
So, as well as working to improve your son's taking of the medication, also check with his doctor and make sure that what he's taking will be useful even if he never gets very good at it.
thanks Bronxboy, I agree that he may never take 100% of everything. I used to manage about 10 medications at a time for my family and had charts and organization to make a nurse proud to handle it all. We finished every antibiotic and followed all directions but that was about all I did for 2 years along with the DR appointments and special diets and all that. Whew. So I will check on my daughter taking the Cymbalta. She is doing pretty good now after fighting it at first and trying to remember. Now I think she is taking everything, the anti-depressant, the acid med and the asthma med. WOO HOOO, that means no chronic cough, weekly throwing up and of course the depression thing.
Tyler is 14 so i know he needs some help with this and honestly dad is not as good as i am for medications, homework help, and just having things to do at his house. So Tyler does see him a lot but wants to be here for the summer since my house has things to do (dad has no video games, tv, creative projects,). That means we really need to clean this place up since it is horrible after his older sister moved back home. But yeah, if we are not seriously changing attitudes here everyone can go live with dad and i will just take care of myself for awhile.
i admit to also being terrible about taking meds, which is why i seek to avoid them as best i can. if i have to take them, it is reluctant and not often with good follow-through.
I guess I just can't relate. To me the solutions seem so obvious. Get rid of the medication..all of it. Go to an acupuncturist. Have him learn deep breathing and meditation. Change his diet. Invite (don't force) him to go on walks in nature with YOU while you ask him about his life and say nothing, just listen. Have him try Super Brain Yoga which is very quick and easy. Lastly, look into mega doses of niacin and if you hear anything about potential risk in taking high amounts of vitamins, research the claims. As understand it there is nothing substantial out there except pharmaceutical company nonsense.
Keep the pills yourself and give him one everyday. End of drama.
Gardenarian
5-11-11, 7:24pm
Zoe girl - I am with Xmac and Zoebird on this one. Maybe it's time to try something different?
Dear Zoe Girl - I have been debating for several days on whether or not to put my 2 cents in on this thread. I reread your posts and you didn't really ask for advice, but I just can't help myself. Please know that it is my intention that my words are from a loving place. I can totally tell you were totally exasperated the day of the posts and I hope you all have weathered the storm that day and are on the other side of it.
I agree with the others that you just flat out need to administer your son's meds.
And I was super struck by this part of your post:
"In my defense it took 10-15 minutes of 100% focus on him to get the med bottle and pill reminder from him. I typically do not have that kind of time, "
Here's the tough love part....
Your son needs more than 10-15 min. of 100% attention during a crisis event - I think he's crying out for that.
And I know you are doing a lot for both of your kids, but maybe you need to refocus or streamline your efforts so he can really feel your love in your actions.
Can you guys go out and have some inexpensive good, clean fun?
Can you block some daily time or every other day just for him? Even if it's just something as simple as trying to play his video games with him or what not?
Depression bites and it is the ultimate life sucker.
Hugs to you.
+1 on the "Keep the pills yourself and give him one everyday. End of drama."
+1 on the "Keep the pills yourself and give him one everyday. End of drama."
And on to a different one.
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