View Full Version : The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning
Motivated by recent experiences cleaning out two deceased parents' homes, and our renewed efforts to clean up our own place so as not to place this burden on our daughter, I read this trendy book the other day. It's a quick read, and motivational. Not full of tips-and-tricks, but more of a mindset book.
1.5 thumbs up.
https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/518O8BPzqEL.jpg
flowerseverywhere
4-18-18, 4:40pm
Love this book. I am determined not to leave a big mess for my kids. Plus it is so nice to have clean and organized spaces.
Sad Eyed Lady
4-19-18, 9:57am
I want to get a copy of this book. I have been going through and getting rid of things for some time now because there is no one after I am gone. Friends are going to have to deal with what is left, so I hope to work on it from now till whenever that day comes. I think this book would be a good source of advise and inspiration.
Isn't this what used to be known as "settling your affairs"?
Sad Eyed Lady
4-22-18, 10:22am
I got a copy of this book from the library yesterday and have just started it.
I'm on the wait list for the book. Maybe it will help.
Isn't this what used to be known as "settling your affairs"?
"Settling your affairs" to me has always meant financial matters and the like. That can be in order and the house left behind can still have a lot of stuff.
Went through our cookbooks today. Generated 7/10 of a pickup truck bed load of books to take to the yearly library sale. Bringing us down to just the cookbooks we have a loving relationship with, or are using for research.
Before, the top above every cabinet in the kitchen had cookbooks, as well as this builtin bookshelf, and there was 1/2 a large bookshelf elsewhere with cookbooks.
All told, I've removed ~3500 books from the house over the past month or so.
https://i.imgur.com/qoX5MoZ.jpg
iris lilies
4-26-18, 12:35am
You are a god of book weeding!
Book Decluttering—the final frontier.
You are a god of book weeding!
Book Decluttering—the final frontier.
It is a terrible terrible thing.
We moved here with perhaps 6000 volumes. 20 years ago. You can imagine the problem.
We have a guest cottage at my Mom's house here that was going to be a dedicated library, with a nice fireplace, but we used it to house someone in need, ~18 years ago. So the books have piled up at the main house.
It is so very hard giving up all these memories of who we used to be, who we dreamed of being, and all the infinite possibilities books represent.
But we use books so differently these days - I almost always get them on a Kindle to save space/effort, and to be able to find the darned things. It would perhaps have gone differently if we'd maintained the separate library building concept.
It is so very hard giving up all these memories of who we used to be, who we dreamed of being, and all the infinite possibilities books represent.
The existential issue behind almost every collection....
The prices of used books continues to drop here. Our local library is selling many at 6 for $1 - only .17 each.
Of course my book-loving SO thinks this is fantastic and will buy a bagful, so we are actually going in the other direction here :(
I like the Little Free Library concept https://littlefreelibrary.org/
I admit I used to judge people who didn't have any books in their house, but of course these days it doesn't mean they're not reading. I do wonder where this will all end up - will libraries be rows of people with headphones on staring at screens?
Oh Lainey, I hope not, but I do see even in our little library many more audio books and many more available on line. I just cannot get into the electronic reading or listening. I truly love books although most are at the library!
Congratulations, Bae on culling so many books.
https://lithub.com/susan-orlean/ Not sure if this will connect. Lit hub is the website.
Lovely article/interview -love of libraries!
That’s funny - I have about 3 books in my house. Genealogical books about my family that were written by distant relatives. Yet I read about a book a week and I have since age 8 or so. I just don’t own them in physical form.
Thinking of someone looking at my house and judging me as a non-reader is a new and amusing idea to me! 😄
rosarugosa
4-26-18, 6:03pm
I too have been guilty of wondering what is wrong with people who don't have any books in their homes.
That’s funny - I have about 3 books in my house. Genealogical books about my family that were written by distant relatives. Yet I read about a book a week and I have since age 8 or so. I just don’t own them in physical form.
Thinking of someone looking at my house and judging me as a non-reader is a new and amusing idea to me! ��
I am the same way.
happystuff
4-27-18, 7:34am
It is so very hard giving up all these memories of who we used to be, who we dreamed of being, and all the infinite possibilities books represent.
This is expressed so well! This is exactly how I feel about books!
I have let go of a LOT of books, but still have many more on the shelves. Everything in its own time.
Before I became disabled, I read 2-3 books a week all of my life, I couldn't afford to keep buying them (even when the Mystery Book Store had their $1 sale and I would buy 200), nor storing them. I rarely re-read a book. I gifted certain books to certain people, donated the rest and then became a library fiend. I have probably 10 permanent books in my house. Since I got sick, it takes me a month to read what I read in 3 nights, I lost the thing about me that I loved the most. But I'm still reading book reviews and requesting the books from the library, the "To Read" list is just a lot longer. I think Interlibrary Loan is the best thing ever invented. I used to judge people who didn't have books in their houses. Now I judge those without a library card (sorta, lol).
oh, I just finished reading this book, my hoarder mom is going to read it and my aunt who helps control the hoard is going to as well. Hopefully, we'll all gain some insights and make some progress. I lie awake at night thinking about the crap my parents are leaving me and it depresses me. I won't do that to my kids. I liked this book better than Kondo because the author is gentler. But she does give less concrete steps in how to really death clean, like the OP said, it's more motivational.
I read the book this weekend. Didn't learn anything enlightening however, I thoroughly enjoyed her storytelling.
Today I got home from work in less than 10hours.:D I poured a cocktail and went through every cupboard/drawer in the kitchen. Tossed some outdated pieces of paper hubby had saved, an electrical gizmo charger cable, 3 recipes we don't need because we already have something close enough, 1 container that was broken around the rim/sharp edges, and it's lid, 4 cookie cutters going to a woman at work because I don't make cutout cookies (these were gifts), a St Patty's towel/potholder that were a Christmas gift going to a coworker who LOVES St Patty day, threw out the dregs of old gluten-free flour X2 (I wanted to try it once).....we do use everything else we've retained in there at this point in time.
Tomorrow morning I plan to go through magazines-I subscribe to just 3. I like to keep just 12 months recent. However, I know I am behind on keeping them thinned out.
Today was a forced day off work. i went through that 14" tall stack of magazines. Reread some articles, tore out interesting recipes and a few travel places. The rest is now residing in the recycle bin.
Then I knitted a dishrag, watched 3 shows off the DVR (so it's getting cleaned up too), and quilted up 2 kiddo quilts I made 3weeks ago, using 2 small pieces of fabric for the backings. I have a planned use for the remains of those backings.
I'll be using leftovers from my scrap binding box to bind these 2.:D I've been using up those leftovers for awhile and have reduced the stuffed box and bag down to a comfortable box full.
I'm now eyeing my bookcases too. I got rid of more than 50% years ago. They could fit in 1 now.....but I like them so they are very loosely filled and I put my cookbooks in one for easy access instead of the cupboard above the fridge (which is empty).
i dug in the freezer and took out 2 vacuum sealed turkey broth bags and a bag of smoked turkey. Made a fantastic soup for lunches along with some aging celery, carrots and green beans. I want to empty the freezer of everything prior to 2017 harvest. I'm getting close.
You're doing well, Gardnr - I like the cocktail strategy!
I helped Mom go through her white pants yesterday. She actually had about 30 pairs! I have 19 of them to be donated or given to fabric recycling. She had been quite resistant to us tacking this until yesterday, so I was happy to be able to do this with her instead of relegating it to "death cleaning," and now it will be easier for her to find her clothes that do fit and are wearable.
She actually had about 30 pairs! I have 19 of them to be donated or given to fabric recycling. She had been quite resistant to us tacking this until yesterday,
WOW! 30? yikes.......even as a teen making my own paycheck I never owned 30 pr of pants total. Yea you!!!!!!
WOW! 30? yikes.......even as a teen making my own paycheck I never owned 30 pr of pants total. Yea you!!!!!!
I know, and those were just the white ones, and we live in Massachusetts with relatively short summers.
freshstart
5-4-18, 10:21am
you are one patient daughter!
Rosarugosa, your mom and mine are soul sisters! My mom has a huge walk in closet, and has no motivation to cull even the clothing un worn since my childhood - and I'm over 50!
I know, and those were just the white ones, and we live in Massachusetts with relatively short summers.
You may qualify for sainthood:help:
I'm not really the most patient person (although I'm certainly getting plenty of opportunity to work on that) and I'm most definitely not saintly. I do like to organize stuff; it is a natural area of strength for me, so I don't really mind helping with that sort of thing.
However, I do feel like I earn good daughter points when I sit and watch "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" with Mom. She just LOVES that show, and if I'm there, it makes her happy if we watch it together. So I do, although I find it somewhat painful.
Teacher Terry
5-5-18, 3:57pm
Rosa, my Dad had a big stroke at 59 and the only thing he could do was watch tV. He couldn't even read anymore. He loved game shows and liked me to play them with him. WE lived next door so many afternoons I would go over and do that. The doctors didn't think he would live long however, he lived 14 long years. He went from being the nicest guy to quite unpleasant after the stroke and i think it was a good lesson for my kids that you don't abandon family when they become inconvenient. There were times that my Mom or I lost our patience and then we would feel guilty.
Teacher Terry,
a quick note about your Dad's stroke affects: I'd read years ago of an older guy who had a stroke and in recovery he became the opposite of what he'd been before. He had been an alcoholic, a smoker, and a mean person. Afterwards he'd apparently forgotten that he drank, forgot that he smoked, and become a nice guy. His adult kids were thrilled with the change. In your work, have you seen this kind of thing happen before?
and back on track with this topic, I found a Leonard Cohen quote:
"My mind was always very cluttered, so I took great pains to simplify my environment, because if my environment were half as cluttered as my mind, I wouldn't be able to make it from room to room."
It is so very hard giving up all these memories of who we used to be, who we dreamed of being, and all the infinite possibilities books represent.
But we use books so differently these days - I almost always get them on a Kindle to save space/effort, and to be able to find the darned things. It would perhaps have gone differently if we'd maintained the separate library building concept.
I gave hundreds of books to the library last year, but I didn't give away some old college books--my big, heavy art history book and my linguistics books in particular. I haven't looked at them in decades, but they somehow tie me to a time when I was so excited to learn stuff on those topics. Fascinating: our identity spelled out on the spines of book jackets, but you are absolutely right.
iris lilies
5-6-18, 10:14am
After a lifetime of not buying books (but for my art collection, children’s picture books) I am finding myself gathering books, well, just a few a year. The most recent one is a volume about Ikenobo, used as the textbook for my Ikenobo floral design class. My public library has a bery old book about that specific school of Ikebana, Ikenobo, but that library book osnt so clearly illustrated.
Also picked up a cool florwe arranging book one of those DIY formats I lobe: how to i steuctions on one side of the page, finished project on the other. I have an Indian cookbook in that format.i like to see the entire project laid out in one visual swoop.
Locally, I have the hardest time getting rid of books. I know a year or two ago I tried to donate many of what I felt were an educational topic - not nonfiction - in the library; flat-out refused them. Goodwill only wanted paperbacks or cookbooks. I ended up secreting them around various sites that I thought would be populated by Persons of Interest in the subject matter. I know there are cameras everywhere but I hope that I was seen as a do-gooder and not someone who was doing something bad. When Mom passes and we face that task again I will be culling out thousands and thousands of books. She will not allow the downsizing to occur presently has she feels books are her friends.
and back on track with this topic, I found a Leonard Cohen quote:
"My mind was always very cluttered, so I took great pains to simplify my environment, because if my environment were half as cluttered as my mind, I wouldn't be able to make it from room to room."
Love this quote. It's true...if I take my cluttered mind downstairs in the morning to a cluttered home or work space, it's overwhelming sensory overload.
Interestingly, though, that's my decorating challenge--to seek out the zen to balance out the cacophony in my mind, rather than be pulled in by a lot of color and eclecticism.
flowerseverywhere
5-6-18, 11:56am
For old non fiction books our friends of the library has big book sales. Dealers are lined up with crates they stack at one end of the room and buy toms of books cheap. For an extensive collection calling a dealer might help. We sold a big box of books for $50 to a dealer who had an eBay store that he knew how to market. I would have been glad if he had made hundreds of dollars instead of them going in the trash heap. Another source is calling a local university and seeing if any professors or grad students want them. We also have a non fiction bookstore who will give you credit. I personally would not want the credit but just give anything to them. Small business people trying to make a living.
iris lilies
5-6-18, 2:29pm
Some years ago I cleaned out about 20 books, big illustrated books about art, architecture, and design. (I know I know, where did these come from if I dont buy book? Haha, well, I did buy a few over the years, and then some were gifts. Anyway.) I first looked up online sources to see if the titles were listed at prices of more than $5. If so, I then set them aside, and later dropped off that pile to an antiquarian bookseller. I didnt want any money for them.
The rest of them I put in the trash.
My library finally stopped taking in people’s books after years of money losing book sales. Dont get me started on that subject! While there ARE some libraries that make good profits from their book sales, mine never did, it was a loss from beginning to end.
Our library has an ongoing book sale. There is a room which also serves as a meeting/function room, but it has shelves of books for sale. Hardcovers are $1.00 and paperbacks are .50. They also have the small free rack in the lobby for books that seem unlikely to sell. I've been dropping off my issues of Horticulture on the free rack after I'm done reading them.
Teacher Terry
5-6-18, 6:24pm
Lainey, no I have never seen that happen. However, I did not work with many stroke patients because they needed to have a reasonable expectation of returning to some type of work due to the program requirements. Many are retired by the time this happens.
Rosa, my Dad had a big stroke at 59 and the only thing he could do was watch tV. He couldn't even read anymore. He loved game shows and liked me to play them with him. WE lived next door so many afternoons I would go over and do that. The doctors didn't think he would live long however, he lived 14 long years. He went from being the nicest guy to quite unpleasant after the stroke and i think it was a good lesson for my kids that you don't abandon family when they become inconvenient. There were times that my Mom or I lost our patience and then we would feel guilty.
TT: That sounds very difficult and kudos to you for hanging in there with Dad. I do have to say that my Mom is very good-natured and I hope that doesn't change.
Teacher Terry
5-6-18, 8:21pm
My Mom took great care of him which is probably why he lived so long:)) Only my oldest son remembered how he was before so it was the most sad for him. He was a man that never swore and we were not allowed to swear even as a adult. Well the part of his brain that was damaged made him swear a lot. That was so hard to get used too. I would take care of him so my Mom could go on vacation. We were a great support system for one another. My Mom also watched my boys after school or when sick so I could go to college. I was extremely close to my Dad always so it made it easier when this happened because we had such a strong foundation. My other sibs not so much. When my Dad died my Mom was relieved but it took a terrible toll on her health with all the stress and she was not young either. Long term illnesses are really tough. Also he always knew who we were etc so not as sad as dementia. Rosa, I hope your Mom stays pleasant too.
Another two truckloads of books to the library today. And one truckload of previous, previous-previous, and previous-previous-previous home audio equipment to the re-use facility we have here.
However, I do feel like I earn good daughter points when I sit and watch "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" with Mom. She just LOVES that show, and if I'm there, it makes her happy if we watch it together. So I do, although I find it somewhat painful.
I feel like this with my dad and Family Feud. He turns it up real loud, yells out answers and expects me to do the same. When the content is slightly racy, I'm mortified. Sometimes I'd rather take the bullet.
and back on track with this topic, I found a Leonard Cohen quote:
"My mind was always very cluttered, so I took great pains to simplify my environment, because if my environment were half as cluttered as my mind, I wouldn't be able to make it from room to room."
LOVE this
Another two truckloads of books to the library today. And one truckload of previous, previous-previous, and previous-previous-previous home audio equipment to the re-use facility we have here.
a job well done
I feel like this with my dad and Family Feud. He turns it up real loud, yells out answers and expects me to do the same. When the content is slightly racy, I'm mortified. Sometimes I'd rather take the bullet.
LOL, yes the volume! I must have a somewhat pained look on my face, because Mom will ask, "that's too loud for you isn't it?" and turn it down a bit.
Teacher Terry
5-8-18, 12:37pm
WE had tons of books at one point but when you have to move the crap yourself across country a few times it makes getting rid of them much easier.
a job well done
We had for some years been entertaining the idea of moving to a smaller home here, and we came to the realization last night that one of the things putting us off was the contemplation of just how much of a pain it would be to simply move - it seemed a huge problem.
Reducing the quantity of "stuff" massively over the past few months has made this path now seem much easier - the moving process (once the current wave of stuff-abandoning finishes) should now be simpler, so we can examine the thought of The Right House without as much primal fear!
Teacher Terry
5-8-18, 1:24pm
We downsized to 1400 sq ft and I love it. Much easier and quicker to clean and no steps. We used to invite 30 people for dinner but no more. Now about 6 is the max that we do. WE do have a big barbecue every year because our outdoor area is spacious. In fact we are having it this weekend because the weather is perfect. WE sold about half of our furniture before the move.
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