View Full Version : Reading Obituaries.
Do you read them? Lately, when I open up a newspaper, I find myself going straight to the Obituary section. I wonder if it relates to aging and the fact that we are all getting closer to shaking hands with the Grim Reaper.
goldensmom
5-21-11, 9:28pm
I read the obituaries almost daily. I'm at the age where many of my friends parents are dying. It was nice to see some of my high school friends at my parents funeral visitations because they read about it or saw the name on the 'marquee' in front of the only funeral home in town. I remember how morbid I thought it was when my grandmother and parents always read the obituaries but now I understand. My husband pays no attention to obits, he's 'not there yet'.
I not only read them I index them! Okay, let me explain. For years I have researched obituaries for people who have are tracinig their roots to Oregon. I research them for a small fee - sort of a hobby business that I started when I was in college and just kept on doing it. I have published two indexes of early obituaries (1860 - 1903) and am working on a new index. Now I just publish my indexing on my little blog www.OregonNewspaperResearch.wordpress.com The the daily obits - yep I read those too. Just have always found the "Of the record" section interesting. In our paper they list births/marriages/domestic gay partner registrations/divorces/law suits and deaths. I don't read the births - but I read the rest!
catherine
5-21-11, 11:35pm
Well, I'm glad that the $798 we spent on my MIL's obituary last summer might have had an audience, based on what you guys are saying! I couldn't believe how expensive it is to run an obituary--at least in the New York Metro area! I actually thought the funeral home was quoting me $7.98!!! (Boy, talk about naivete!!) That's ridiculous. But I DID write a lovely obituary.
I scan them if I'm reading the paper, but I'm doing that less and less. I once tore out a woman's obituary because it seemed to exemplify exactly the type of woman I would like to be in my old age.
When my grandmother would open the paper to read the obits, she would say "Now, who's dead?" I glance at ours, just to see for people I know.
Yeah, I read them too (except that we're not subscribing to the newspaper right now -- it's expensive!) -- but I've always read them. Fascinating.
I skim through them and look for really old people, or strange names, and then I check if anybody has half a zillion kids. I find some people who had a dozen or more kids or a dozen or more siblings. It seems like a lot of people around here live to be 90-100+.
I not only read them I index them! Okay, let me explain. For years I have researched obituaries for people who have are tracinig their roots to Oregon. I research them for a small fee - sort of a hobby business that I started when I was in college and just kept on doing it. I have published two indexes of early obituaries (1860 - 1903) and am working on a new index. Now I just publish my indexing on my little blog www.OregonNewspaperResearch.wordpress.com The the daily obits - yep I read those too. Just have always found the "Of the record" section interesting. In our paper they list births/marriages/domestic gay partner registrations/divorces/law suits and deaths. I don't read the births - but I read the rest!
I need to get on the hunt for some Oregon obituaries, and The UO newspaper collection is on my list. I have a couple of fascinating threads to follow. I've made note of your blog.
I look at them in the Sunday paper but only because I like the biographical aspects of people's lives. I like to read about the interesting lives some people have lived and also what their families choose to remember them for. Thier heritage, their hobbies,,,I find that stuff interesting. Kind of like paying respects for having lived a life, well or not.
I used to skim through them to see if anyone I knew had died. But now that we live in another state, there is no reason to do so. Not to mention that we don't get a paper - we get our news online now.
yes. I hate it when they don't give the cause of death or the age of the deceased. Basic facts that I need to know.
The ones that do list suicide causes of death are very brave.
loosechickens
5-22-11, 4:10pm
We do tend to look at the local paper online from where we used to live in PA, because my sweetie was born there, and we lived there for many years and have large numbers of people we know in the area. It's rare to go a week and not see an obituary for someone we know, at least a little. Helps us to keep in touch, gives us an opportunity to leave a message on the online guest book, etc. Lots of folks older than us heading out, and it's getting to where a fair number of contemporaries there are leaving.....methinks we are getting a tad long in the tooth these days.........
frugal-one
5-22-11, 5:08pm
The thing I find strange with obits is that many times they list relatives who already have died. Who cares?
I've scanned the obits off and on for years in the weekend papers. Just found one yesterday for a woman I worked with years ago, who suffered a long-term debilitating illness.
I wrote a short note in the online guest book, as loosechickens mentioned, because I think it's a comfort to the family to know that even though you were not close with their loved one, that person was remembered in some way.
The thing I find strange with obits is that many times they list relatives who already have died. Who cares?
It helps people who are doing genealogy.
Happy Sunday to all my fellow Obit readers! Like Iris Lilly, I also hate it when age and cause is left out. I tend to get lost over the ones that reflect on people born around the turn of the 1900's. So many of them lived sooo long... 'Tis a morbid fascination of sorts.
treehugger
5-23-11, 1:34pm
I don't read them (don't get a newspaper) but my father-in-law makes sure to read each any every one, every day. How else will he know whose funeral to attend that week?
I think attending funerals (of anyone he's ever met) is a hobby of his. He loves to speak at them, even if he didn't know the deceased very well. Once he went to the wrong funeral, but didn't realize it until half-way through the service. He stayed till the end. We still tease him about that and ask him if he spoke anyway.
Kara
jennipurrr
5-23-11, 5:03pm
I don't read them unless someone I know, or know of, has died. But, even if I only know one person I usually read all of them. Its kind of fascinating.
I have an unhealthy addition to my county's arrest database. When I was working at the community mental health center I read it every day. Now I just pull it up occasionally but more often than not I will know someone out of the bunch. I am not a criminal, I swear, haha! My county only keeps the mug shot and arrest details up while someone hasn't posted bail, but the state of Florida keeps them up forever...browsing that one day was so interesting to me and I didn't even know anyone.
Treehugger. Now that's funny! :laff: I think for many older people, being able to get all dressed up and attend functions (such as funerals) actually helps keep one alive, and it adds to ones place which creates purpose.
Jennipurrr. I find it fascinating too. Whenever I come across obituaries where the person lived close to, or past 100, I find myself reflecting on each decade they were alive and thinking about what they witnessed in the way of changes and milestones as they progressed through the years.
I read only the ones of people who didn't reproduce. I skim to the "survived by..." section and if they didn't have kids I read the whole thing, with interest. I find that people w/o kids often lead pretty interesting lives.
At age 77, I find that too often I know someone in the obits, so I check them every day.
The thing I find strange with obits is that many times they list relatives who already have died. Who cares?
I care! Although until you asked I hadn't thought about why. My obit will certainly say I was preceded in death by my parents and my husband. I think it puts a person in context, both in time and in relationships. Not mentioning the people who went before leaves a very incomplete picture of who I was.
A couple years ago our local paper stopped providing pictures with the obituaries. I think they were really surprised how many obituary readers were out there. Under much protest they again starting publising pictures of the deceased.
Our paper includes photos with the obituaries and I find it odd and a bit sad when they show a very very old outdated photo instead of a current one. Of course, family would like to remember the deceased as young and healthy, but perhaps other people won't recognize the person by that photo if they're not sure about the name. I have a morbid curiosity about cause of death when it's someone under the age of fifty. Recently there was a photo of a six month old baby that had died--how sad.
iris lily
5-25-11, 11:08pm
Our paper includes photos with the obituaries and I find it odd and a bit sad when they show a very very old outdated photo instead of a current one. Of course, family would like to remember the deceased as young and healthy, but perhaps other people won't recognize the person by that photo if they're not sure about the name. I have a morbid curiosity about cause of death when it's someone under the age of fifty. Recently there was a photo of a six month old baby that had died--how sad.
Yes, someone under 50--how did they die? Agreed, I must know.
The photos-Well, I kind of understand about not using photos of people who are ancient. I'd say use good photo of someone when they are in their 50's or 60's--you know that way they aren't trying to look young.
Great hearing from you everybody!
I read the obits in my hometown paper. A couple of months ago I read the obit of one of my junior high school teachers which brought back a lot of memories.
I've come across a couple of obituaries related to old teachers of mine (way back when), and does it ever make one say to themselves, "where did all the years go"...
One security item about writing obits: apparently identity thieves read them as well. So some writers have changed wording slightly to say "she was 70 years old" vs. she was born exact day/month/year. Or maybe say she was an alumna of Smith College, but not say which year she graduated.
Also good to have someone at the house during actual memorial ceremonies, because again, burglars have been known to take advantage of everyone's absence.
Many great points Lainey. I count my blessings all the time over the fact that we reside in a small community, as neighbours are always so willing to play watch on each others homes.
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