Zoe Girl
5-22-11, 10:24am
So I guess this would go in family and all but it seems to fit here better based on my last topic I brought up.
Matt wanted to talk to me so we met last night and I was prepared for the 'we are just too different' talk. Guys tend to find me exotic and then eventually figure out this is a real different world view that is not going to change and it is too uncomfortable. Well he did surprise me nicely, not that it was fun. He said he has been a jerk and not a good friend so he wants us to go back to being friends until he can be a good friend again. That is very good right now. I got to tell him what is upsetting me (he has not done 2 important things he told me he would and shutting himself off from talking about it). I am looking for a partner, not someone who wants to pick and choose what they share in life. I had told him when he was starting to shut himself off that he was in a funk but at the time he argued that so I left it alone, then he realized he really was in a funk and had unexpressed anger.
So why is this in spiritual. For one I think what I do and how I am in the world works. It affects others in a way that makes them look at themselves more than me nagging them into a realization. It has taken a lifetime to be able to do this and even if it is ego-rific I am proud of myself. I have a situation at work that is responding to my way of being as well. What it seems to take is total honesty along with a compassionate lack of judgement. And that means my feelings are often exposed and vulnerable.
I don't know how far he will come with this, moving from a person who has a violent past and handles many things with anger and judgement to a person who is comfortable around me most of the time. But I am glad we are friends because I would miss him terribly.
That is all, I made plans to go to church once I knew he wanted to talk so I wouldn't be alone and wallowing after whatever he had to say.
Matt wanted to talk to me so we met last night and I was prepared for the 'we are just too different' talk. Guys tend to find me exotic and then eventually figure out this is a real different world view that is not going to change and it is too uncomfortable. Well he did surprise me nicely, not that it was fun. He said he has been a jerk and not a good friend so he wants us to go back to being friends until he can be a good friend again. That is very good right now. I got to tell him what is upsetting me (he has not done 2 important things he told me he would and shutting himself off from talking about it). I am looking for a partner, not someone who wants to pick and choose what they share in life. I had told him when he was starting to shut himself off that he was in a funk but at the time he argued that so I left it alone, then he realized he really was in a funk and had unexpressed anger.
So why is this in spiritual. For one I think what I do and how I am in the world works. It affects others in a way that makes them look at themselves more than me nagging them into a realization. It has taken a lifetime to be able to do this and even if it is ego-rific I am proud of myself. I have a situation at work that is responding to my way of being as well. What it seems to take is total honesty along with a compassionate lack of judgement. And that means my feelings are often exposed and vulnerable.
I don't know how far he will come with this, moving from a person who has a violent past and handles many things with anger and judgement to a person who is comfortable around me most of the time. But I am glad we are friends because I would miss him terribly.
That is all, I made plans to go to church once I knew he wanted to talk so I wouldn't be alone and wallowing after whatever he had to say.