View Full Version : Dating in small communities...
I just came across a radio interview of a couple of friends of mine here on the island, about the challenges of "romance" in these sorts of isolated places.
https://www.knkx.org/post/think-dating-hard-try-it-island
Are any of these voices yours Bae?
Are any of these voices yours Bae?
No, until quite recently I usually only went into the Lower Tavern responding to 911 calls there :-)
That is interesting. Often in small towns everyone knows what everyone else is doing. I am noticing that especially with seniors who pair up with a new partner, everyone takes note. There is usually understanding and appreciation that some need to have a full-time partner, also some eyebrow raising with how 'those two' will ever get along or what do the kids think of what is happening and life goes on. I stay out of senior centres, senior condos for just that reason and now understand a little better the challenge of living on an island.
I lived in a very small town in New York State when I just had two kids. There was one general store, one gas station and a diner. One of the town families owned the general store, and if you didn't want your business circulating like the game of "telephone" you had to whisper in the store. I had neighbors I barely knew tell me how many kids they had heard I wanted to have. (I had no clue).
I feel a tinge of that in Grand Isle, but it's nowhere as bad. However, I have one son who is between relationships, and he's dying for a partner. He feels the "city" he lives and works in is tapped out in that department, so he said he's thinking of spending the summer on the island with us. I assured him that that was NOT a good idea if he's trying to find someone to date, for some of the same reasons talked about in the interview.
There are advantages to small town life, but when you really want or need a little anonymity, the lack of it can be a big disadvantage.
I grew up in a tiny coastal burg (pop.350) that I was happy to get away from; although it had loads of natural beauty to appreciate, there was nothing else for people to do but gossip and meddle in other people's lives. Gossip would be a minor annoyance now, but I avoid the shriveled outlook that produces it.
A fun little piece a friend wrote the other day:
https://evanwl.com/2019/04/08/life-on-orcas-island-section-17-dating/
A fun little piece a friend wrote the other day:
https://evanwl.com/2019/04/08/life-on-orcas-island-section-17-dating/
Very well done!
iris lilies
4-9-19, 5:18pm
Amusing piece, it made me laugh.
Teacher Terry
4-9-19, 5:25pm
That was interesting but sounds like a terrible way to live.
iris lilies
4-9-19, 5:27pm
That was interesting but sounds like a terrible way to live.
Ah, it was a jokey piece. Though probably had some truths.
Teacher Terry
4-9-19, 5:39pm
I lived in a small town of 2k people once and everyone knew your business.
Enjoyed the writer's sense of humor. Have to laugh at the crazy dating world sometimes.
gimmethesimplelife
4-13-19, 10:04am
I remember attempting to date while I was working at the Grand Canyon National Park. Talk about a fishbowl where everyone knows your business! Every isolated resort that I've ever worked at has been this way......everyone knows your business and if you deviate a fraction of a centimeter from what the group considers a norm, to some degree there's a target on your back unless you know the right people and are in good politically with said right people. I find urban life in general to be very exhausting but this is one aspect of small town living that completely drains me. And then some.
Perhaps a few here may remember my posting not too long ago of some neighbors of mine in the 85006 that moved to Nogales, Arizona, hoping for a litigation windfall from over the top law breaking "law enforcement" there? I've kept in touch with them and they tell me Nogales, Arizona is like this, too - and it's a fairly sized city of 23,000 or so - they say that while it's possible to be a recluse there if you wish, doing so increases suspicion of you, including with law enforcement that has a "Why are you living in Southern Arizona this close to Mexico? mentality - you're already viewed with suspicion for living in the Borderlands and being a recluse to avoid this increases the air of suspicion around you, even if you never cross the border. People - UGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!! - there are many days as I am getting older that I just feel like I've had my fill of human nature and that a good chunk of my life is negotiating human nature already anyway.
All that said, had I a realistic choice at the moment, I'm all for living somewhere like Nogales, Arizona, even with no windfall from litigation against law enforcement. I am not a good fit for modern American urban life, period, though I do do that best I can with it. Rob
Perhaps a few here may remember my posting not too long ago of some neighbors of mine in the 85006 that moved to Nogales, Arizona, hoping for a litigation windfall from over the top law breaking "law enforcement" there? I've kept in touch with them and they tell me Nogales, Arizona is like this, too - and it's a fairly sized city of 23,000 or so - they say that while it's possible to be a recluse there if you wish, doing so increases suspicion of you, including with law enforcement that has a "Why are you living in Southern Arizona this close to Mexico? mentality - you're already viewed with suspicion for living in the Borderlands and being a recluse to avoid this increases the air of suspicion around you, even if you never cross the border. People - UGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!! -I remember that. You'd think that by now they could have at least initiated a prospective windfall from over the top law enforcement in an environment so ideally suited for it. What could they possibly be doing wrong?
Sad Eyed Lady
4-14-19, 10:34am
I guess in some ways that small town outlook can be had in large cities. I am referring to Gordon Lightfoot's song The Circle is Small where he says:
"The town we live in might be quite large, but the circle is small,
Why not tell us all,
Then all of us will know."
I live in a town of around 3000 and yes it does lead to others knowing your business at times. But on the other hand, it also can lead to help and support when needed because people do know you. I guess it is a trade off of sorts. I think it is better than years ago when you did know almost everyone. I sometimes walk down the street and realize I know almost no one anymore, and we also have quite as Hispanic population that have moved here over the past 10-12 years.
Sorry for the disjointed post - it is morning. ;)
I remember that. You'd think that by now they could have at least initiated a prospective windfall from over the top law enforcement in an environment so ideally suited for it. What could they possibly be doing wrong?
They are being recluses. If they go out and protest they can become targets.
Sad Eyed Lady
4-20-19, 9:59am
I guess in some ways that small town outlook can be had in large cities. I am referring to Gordon Lightfoot's song The Circle is Small where he says:
"The town we live in might be quite large, but the circle is small,
Why not tell us all,
Then all of us will know."
I live in a town of around 3000 and yes it does lead to others knowing your business at times. But on the other hand, it also can lead to help and support when needed because people do know you. I guess it is a trade off of sorts. I think it is better than years ago when you did know almost everyone. I sometimes walk down the street and realize I know almost no one anymore, and we also have quite as Hispanic population that have moved here over the past 10-12 years.
Sorry for the disjointed post - it is morning. ;)
I noticed I misquoted Gordon Lightfoot! "The CITY we live in might be quite large" NOT the town! I warned you it was morning!
They are being recluses. If they go out and protest they can become targets.That can't be right. Rob has told us several times they moved there with the express purpose of winning a large settlement from the inevitable abuse from law enforcement. They'll never realize their dream being recluses. I think there must be some other flaw in the plan.
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