The Clock

[fidgiegirl]

I had kind of an epiphany today. The Clock really stresses me out.

In my building, THE CLOCK is king. You are one minute late, or don't have the kids lined up and ready to leave the second the teacher shows up at the door, and you are in (what feels like) doo doo. Even on the weekend, I am stressed out by any scheduled event. Even something fun, when a start time is set to it, feels like a stressor. I start to plan the whole day around that. My whole life revolves around the clock: How much can I fit in the evening after quitting time and before bedtime which must happen before a certain time in order to get up in the morning by the right time to be back at work on time? I squeeze in my "sleep-ins" on the weekend when I may feel ready to get out of bed and get going but I sleep in anyway because there is no chance during the week. And when an extra hour in bed would make all the difference on a weekday morning, there is zilch opportunity for that.

I dunno, maybe as I go on this search for a business or a different job a lack of worship to The Clock would do me good. I am a person who likes to get deep into thought and learn a lot in an uninterrupted period of time of my own choosing. No such sustained time anymore at my job and next year will be worse if I'm still in that position. I'm seriously thinking of leaving if I don't get the other position in the district that I am applying for. I don't know if I can do it. I just want to do one thing and do it well :(

How do you do with The Clock?

[Valley]

This is a great subject that I was just talking about to my husband. I retired...actually just jumped off the high dive and took a chance...about 5 years ago and there are many, many things about retirement that I love. But, my favorite thing is rarely needing to set the alarm clock. I actually go to bed when I am tired...and sleep until I am ready to get up. It is wonderful!!! I had no idea how tired I have been for many years before my retirement. I find that I am much more even, and I rarely cry over "stupid" things. I know that it isn't an option for all of us...and I may run out of money way too soon...but I will certainly be more relaxed about it. The few times when we are "on the clock", we can both feel the tension start to rise. I'm getting about 9 hours of sleep most nights, and I love it! But most of all, I'm following my body and not the clock. The clock is no longer my enemy!
Thanks for bringing this up for discussion.

[Kestra]

I hate clocks. I avoid them as much as possible unless I really need them. I work mostly on a computer so the clock is always there. That's ok. I stopped wearing a watch when it was no longer required for my job (when you take heart rates all day, you need a watch). I refer to clocks for bus times and appointments but on weekends I try to be clock-free as possible. Like you, I hate having to do something at a particular time. I want to eat and sleep whenever I feel like it, though it is easier to do things on a similar schedule to any people you might live with (if you want to see them.)

[fidgiegirl]

though it is easier to do things on a similar schedule to any people you might live with (if you want to see them.)

This is true. However I find myself craving a different, even if just slightly, schedule than my husband. We work together and are together ALL DAY. Well, once we're at work we're not together, but we drive together, ride home together, etc. We are always dragging one or the other to get ready faster and be ready on time because one or the other always has a meeting in the morning. I always wondered if once we were married we'd be able to sustain working at the same place for the ongoing health of our marriage for this very reason!

@Valley - sounds wonderful!!

[Mangano's Gold]

If this is your current reality, then your best path is to accept it.

The Clock definitely isn't changing. Entonces? Asi es, kelli.

[ApatheticNoMore]

A career counselor once told me due to my Meyer's Briggs type (INTP) that it was no wonder that I had a problem with deadlines (not the clock per se, but deadlines in which things must be done). This advice was kinda useless since I saw no way around deadlines (yes there are jobs without deadlines, but not necessarily in any field I've actually worked in previously and certainly not the job I had then). So it was kinda like telling me "no wonder you have a problem with the sky being blue ....".

A lot of self-employment is deadline related as well (anything in which you produce a deliverable for a client). That which isn't is usually hourly - ie providing a service by the hour. I guess the only other alternative is selling a finished product. If it's hourly work you may *MAY* have some flexibility with hours. Why only may? Because clients for hourly services aren't always that easy to find and you often need to accommodate around them.

I suppose those really are the 3 basic categories of work time relationships with self-employment: 1) fixed deadline, flexible arrangement of when you do the work 2) open/no deadline, scheduled hours when you do the work (I'd take this over #1 in a heartbeat!) 3) open deadline, open hours, sell a finished product direct to the consumer.

[Merski]

For a different point of view- my coworkers are very relaxed about time and sometimes it's 15 minutes past my shift before they relieve me! And I always come in early so I'm not being sniggly about time.

[fidgiegirl]

If this is your current reality, then your best path is to accept it.

The Clock definitely isn't changing. Entonces? Asi es, kelli.

I disagree that the best path is to accept it, over the long haul, anyway. Am I going to keep stressing out about it for the rest of this school year, no (in fact, I feel better even after just having started this thread). It is all a process toward understanding myself. It is about designing my own life, not just trudging along in mindless lockstep, which is in essence what this simple living journey is about for me. If I've noticed this, then maybe a highly scheduled job such as my current one isn't the best for me. I get that most paid employment requires employees to get there at a certain time and leave at a certain time. But not all employment requires 50 distinct start and end times in between that. I'm exaggerating, of course, but a quick count reveals at LEAST 12 different strictly defined times at which I must start/end an activity during my work day. My prep time is two 25-minute blocks. My brain just isn't wired like that. By the time I get into a task it's time to end that task. So to know this if I decide to look for a different job is important. I know it's something I must consider for my own mental health.

Over the next month? Yes. I need to just buck up.

I have to be careful to remember that self-employment is not the answer to everything. It has its own stresses. And with that, crap! I'm going to be late for work!!

@Merski - boo on them. I definitely don't envy you that. :(

[catherine]

I'm with Kestra--I stopped wearing a watch years ago as a spiritual discipline. And I was never late for anything. The only time it annoyed me was on a long flight, when my cell phone and computer were stowed and I had no way of knowing how much time was left in the flight, but I didn't need that information anyway.

I think routines help. The more set you are in your routine the less you have to rely on a clock, and the flow of life seems more natural.

I'm self-employed and there are certain times when I do obsess over the clock--like right now. I have a telephone interview to conduct (I have 5 today), and I refuse to be 1 minutes late for my appointment with the respondent. But what helps there is my computer calendar which I have set for both my computer and my phone, so I don't have to worry so much about forgetting as long as I'm near either my computer or my phone. There are about 3 alarms that go off and little clock characters that dance all over my screen so I hand the stress over to them! (that's so funny--as soon as I finished typing that--they all went off!)

So, I agree with you--I used to be driven by The Clock but I've found some stress-free adaptations and seems to be working for me! (Gotta go prepare for that interview now!)

[Tammy]

I've recently started getting up about 30 minutes earlier than I need to, just so I feel as though I can take my time through my morning before I need to leave. We'll see if this adds a sense of autonomy to my life.

I get it on the clock thing. I grew up on a farm, where we worked hard but at our own pace and timing. Now I clock in and out, and it bothers me sometimes too.

[SRP]

Oh yeah. I'm with you, Fidgie. I think the main thing that bugs me about clocks is that I have to be in the same place at the same time and do the same thing every single day. The routine is seriously, mind-numbingly booooring. And it's set by other people, aka my boss, the workplace, whatever.

On weekends I hardly ever look at the clock, unless my food needs a specific cooking time or something like that. My weekends are pretty much unstructured, and I usually don't even go anywhere, just so I don't have to be there "on time."

[H-work]

I'm a stay-at-home mom who homeschools the kids. I don't wear a watch unless I have an appointment and need to keep track of time. An appointment in the middle of the day ruins the day. I can't get into something because I won't have enough time to finish it, or I feel I'll get so involved, I'd lose track of time. I feel uneasy until it's time to go.

I took care of my ailing mom for 5 years. That involved a lot of Dr. appointments. There were months when she had an appointment every other day. At one point, her Dr. was at a walk-in-clinic with no appointments. Sounds horrible for some, but I actually preferred getting there when I got there (with a handful of youngsters, there are so many things that come up to make you late) and waiting. She didn't mind waiting, gave her new people to talk to. And I brought the kids and some toys and relaxed and read.

[Jemima]

I also dislike having to mind the clock and seldom make any plans for the weekend because of that, to the point that I'm considering trashing the Do List except for things that I absolutely must get done for my own good. There's an emphasis on promptness and face time at my job, and it feels like a straightjacket. How I look forward to retirement when the only times that will concern me will be getting plants and seeds into the garden at the right time of year and a commitment to some volunteer work. Being able to stay up late or take a nap when I please will be one of my most valued benefits of no longer being tied to a job!

[treehugger]

I am another one of those who stopped wearing a watch years ago. I am still a very punctual person by nature, and I use the clock on my phone when I really need to know the time, but I used to be a clock-watcher (with all the stress that entails) and now I am not.

When I got promoted last year, and went from an administrative support person to a consultant, my work life became much less stressful, and a lot of this has to do with not having to live by the clock. I used to have to start at a certain time and watch the clock constantly to give the receptionist her breaks. That felt very disruptive to getting involved in all the other work I had to do.

Now, I still get here at basically the same time, because that works for my morning schedule, but I am free (mostly) to work on what I want and need to, for however long I need to, without forced "breaks" to go answer the (@#*&!) phones. Ahhhhh, peace. I love being able to concentrate on a project for hours at a time. And I stay late if I need to or leave early on Fridays, if I've put in enough time and gotten my work done. Lovely!

Kara

[ApatheticNoMore]

Yea minding the clock 12 times a day is not a part of all jobs.

So called salaried positions in corporate America will *sometimes* be less concerned with the exact time you come in. This comes with a price. Overtime will tend to be EXPECTED and you won't be paid for it. You'll be looked down upon for working a mere 40 hour week. I don't like that price very much, I don't think it's worth it. There are many times I would have traded it all for a straightforward hourly job.

Self-employment having downsides well this is what I've heard: having to work at times you'd rather not, for instance having to work Saturdays because that's when it is convenient for clients even though you'd give anything to for once have a Saturday off like the rest of the world. Drumming up business is an obvious downside, it helps if you are an extrovert with a lot of connections, it will be harder if you aren't and don't have those connections because you'll still need to do it somehow. In my experience most self-employed people don't make as much as they could holding a job (yea in theory they start a business and become insanely rich, I'm telling you what I actually see tends to be the norm though). There's a lot of people out there living hand to mouth and check to check. Money is a sacrifice many will make for satisfaction, I get that.

[mira]

I think what Mangano's Gold meant by his statement was that while you are in those circumstances at work, it's maybe best not to resist it/create inner conflict about it, for your own sanity.

Is there any way you could slow down your after-work routine or make it less demanding? As a teacher, do you have a lot of take-home work to do?

There's nothing worse than having that "only-living-for-the-weekend" feeling and wanting to zip through the week just so you can get some Zs!

[fidgiegirl]

Yes, now I feel a little bad for having reacted a little rashly to Mangano's Gold. Sorry :(

I am so thankful to know I am not alone. H-work's comment about something happening in the middle of the day ruining it really resonated. That's exactly what happens to me, too!

[iris lily]

I'm with Kestra--I stopped wearing a watch years ago as a spiritual discipline. And I was never late for anything. The only time it annoyed me was on a long flight, when my cell phone and computer were stowed and I had no way of knowing how much time was left in the flight, but I didn't need that information anyway.

I think routines help. The more set you are in your routine the less you have to rely on a clock, and the flow of life seems more natural.

I'm self-employed and there are certain times when I do obsess over the clock--like right now. I have a telephone interview to conduct (I have 5 today), and I refuse to be 1 minutes late for my appointment with the respondent. But what helps there is my computer calendar which I have set for both my computer and my phone, so I don't have to worry so much about forgetting as long as I'm near either my computer or my phone. There are about 3 alarms that go off and little clock characters that dance all over my screen so I hand the stress over to them! (that's so funny--as soon as I finished typing that--they all went off!)

So, I agree with you--I used to be driven by The Clock but I've found some stress-free adaptations and seems to be working for me! (Gotta go prepare for that interview now!)

Very cool Catherine, I think that you very very cool!

[Mangano's Gold]

Yes, now I feel a little bad for having reacted a little rashly to Mangano's Gold. Sorry :(
!
Wow, THAT was you acting rashly? You are probably a very nice person. Now I feel bad that you felt a little bad. :( I hope that my feeling bad about your feeling bad doesn't make you feel bad, or I'd feel bad.:sick:

Twisters aside, I definitely didn't intend to suggest that you suck it up for years and suffer. I didn't even just mean "accepting" in the Eastern sense, but more in a pragmatic sense. En situaciones asi you can either change "it" or change "you". The "it" isn't changing. Those bells are ringing with or without you!

On the flip side, I don't want to (overly at least) discount the value that emotions serve as signals. The wiser among us learn from these signals, listen to them, and respond appropriately. It can be a mistake to supress, dull or otherwise ignore them, whether through drugs or mental games. I don't know where the balance is. But living with significant frustration isn't a great place to be.

[fidgiegirl]

Wow, THAT was you acting rashly? You are probably a very nice person. Now I feel bad that you felt a little bad. :( I hope that my feeling bad about your feeling bad doesn't make you feel bad, or I'd feel bad.:sick:

Twisters aside, I definitely didn't intend to suggest that you suck it up for years and suffer. I didn't even just mean "accepting" in the Eastern sense, but more in a pragmatic sense. En situaciones asi you can either change "it" or change "you". The "it" isn't changing. Those bells are ringing with or without you!

On the flip side, I don't want to (overly at least) discount the value that emotions serve as signals. The wiser among us learn from these signals, listen to them, and respond appropriately. It can be a mistake to supress, dull or otherwise ignore them, whether through drugs or mental games. I don't know where the balance is. But living with significant frustration isn't a great place to be.

Your twisters gave me a giggle. Muchas gracias . . . :) I am feeling better about my current job now that the application for the other job is in - even planning for next year happily (really!) as though I'll still be there, which is a very real possibility because I have no idea if I will get the job or even an interview. Weird.

[kitten]

I think about this a lot - good topic! For me, the clock is necessary for one reason: other people. If people want to get together, whether it's two people for lunch or a thousand for a music or theater performance, there's got to be some objective way to schedule it. Otherwise, social life is impossible.

So when I feel stressed out by the clock, what I've usually done is arranged to meet up with other people too often, or I've planned too much entertainment, or I've scheduled something else I don't really have the time or energy for. In order to fix this, I've had to realign my priorities.

I'm very out of balance right now - my job is sucking time out of every single other area of my life. So I dread the clock! I'm in an arts-related field where I'm being invited to see performances at night, but I'm on a super early schedule. Something that starts at eight in the evening is really three in the morning for me. Nobody understands this - to them, I'm just the girl who doesn't ever want to go out. I just figure they're clueless, and I move on. So many people are utterly unable to comprehend anything that doesn't correspond exactly with their own experiences.

I've had to become a warrior to protect myself against encroachments on my time. It's an exhausting task that requires moment-by-moment diligence. Some people may never forgive me for not being able to attend their wedding or performance or whatever. I figure if they're going to be that unreasonable, then their friendship isn't worth it. But it's been painful to see these things happen.