Zoe Girl
3-8-19, 8:00am
I have been doing meditation on 'shadow' over many months. It basically is allowing myself to feel all my sh***y intentions and actions without making excuses. It is not easy or pretty and I hit some low points for sure. Many deep insights, some about the circumstances that I felt responsible for but wasn't, and others about my actions that were not so pretty.
In the last 2 days I have had a huge shift however. I feel much more grounded, able to hold others accountable, ready to face some of my challenges more directly. The biggest way I knew that I shifted was no longer feeling ashamed of my actions at my last job or responsible for how I was treated. I am no longer afraid to run into one of them in public. I didn't even fully realize how that feeling was underlying a lot of shame.
There will be ups and downs but I am happy for the shift.
In the last 2 days I have had a huge shift however. I feel much more grounded, able to hold others accountable, ready to face some of my challenges more directly. The biggest way I knew that I shifted was no longer feeling ashamed of my actions at my last job or responsible for how I was treated. I am no longer afraid to run into one of them in public. I didn't even fully realize how that feeling was underlying a lot of shame.
There will be ups and downs but I am happy for the shift.