Zoe Girl
6-18-19, 10:11am
or if it is just my personality. But I have been 'fussed at' so much I am starting to get really frustrated. 'Fussed at' means someone following me around and asking me if I really want to do things a certain way, over and over. It also is the well meaning things like telling me how to do things. Maybe everyone can just tell I have an illness and so they treat me that way? Or my personality screams flakiness or un prepared ,..???
At work we have a supervisor with us, apparently all summer, because my colleague is new. However since her first day at our site she has been 'fussing' at me. The most silly one was asking about my inhaler in front of everyone. I realize that was actually pretty bad, to question my ability to manage my own basic health care in front of my team. She has been asking if I really want to do things a certain way since day one. Now I have an assistant that was just hired, and last night she commented that she hears it all the time. I don't think that my colleague that is brand new is hearing it. Yesterday we did a fire drill and she was working in the other room but made sure she joined us, I just have started to say "I got this" more often.
The thing is that this has happened in one way or another most of my life. I know my mom was always afraid I would run off with the Grateful Dead or something (doh, it would have been Black Flag). I give off an airy, ungrounded, playful energy I think. I also have taken care of all the practical stuff for a lot of things for my whole life. One incident that makes me think is when I was working at Target and managing the front lanes, we had a rush of customers so I called for backup. The store manager came up and was angry because I didn't get more worked up I think. I am not totally sure, but I called for back up calmly and people showed up and it was taken care of without panic. Somehow I didn't look like I was taking it seriously because I didn't behave like it was an emergency (actually I act that way in emergency). I also handled all the medical emergencies in the store that no one else was trained for, and with the same demeanor.
Okay I am just going to take a shower and get to work and keep saying ' I got this"
At work we have a supervisor with us, apparently all summer, because my colleague is new. However since her first day at our site she has been 'fussing' at me. The most silly one was asking about my inhaler in front of everyone. I realize that was actually pretty bad, to question my ability to manage my own basic health care in front of my team. She has been asking if I really want to do things a certain way since day one. Now I have an assistant that was just hired, and last night she commented that she hears it all the time. I don't think that my colleague that is brand new is hearing it. Yesterday we did a fire drill and she was working in the other room but made sure she joined us, I just have started to say "I got this" more often.
The thing is that this has happened in one way or another most of my life. I know my mom was always afraid I would run off with the Grateful Dead or something (doh, it would have been Black Flag). I give off an airy, ungrounded, playful energy I think. I also have taken care of all the practical stuff for a lot of things for my whole life. One incident that makes me think is when I was working at Target and managing the front lanes, we had a rush of customers so I called for backup. The store manager came up and was angry because I didn't get more worked up I think. I am not totally sure, but I called for back up calmly and people showed up and it was taken care of without panic. Somehow I didn't look like I was taking it seriously because I didn't behave like it was an emergency (actually I act that way in emergency). I also handled all the medical emergencies in the store that no one else was trained for, and with the same demeanor.
Okay I am just going to take a shower and get to work and keep saying ' I got this"