Tybee
8-11-19, 11:33am
Yesterday my brother mailed me two boxes of family memorabilia, mostly letters and some remaining photos, as I have been working on the photo end of things going back thirty years (organizing and storing for 30 years, worked with my mother on it when she was younger and all there; the photos go back to 1910.)
The boxes were very poorly packed. They both arrived split and open to weather. One contained shattered glass from a photo of my great-grandparents, circa 1910. Only such photo in existence, no copies, no one ever had the chance to copy it.
Stuff just stuffed in there, will nilly. To me it felt angry. He had said when he called this week he was angry at being there, angry at everyone in the family. But he is the one who unbeknownst to siblings and mother, took my dad to lawyer's about 10 years ago and had himself appointed POA and executor.
He has not done any of the house cleaning and repair; my husband and I have done weeks of it.
He has done a lot of passive aggressive stuff around money, tried to have me pay bills, threatened me with paying their creditors, then claims to be joking, had me pay bills and then very slow to pay me back; I will not pay any more bills or put myself in that position with him anymore.
There have been several years of this now and parents still living and for all we know may continue living 10 more years. They are remarkably hardy.
How do I deal with the anger that I feel over this, which quickly morphs into panic and anxiety? Take a lot of valierian, have worked on being able to sleep after spending a week with him at the house--it was like PTSD after I got back from the trip. and no when I get back to their house, I wake up sobbing and yelling in my sleep--very disturbing on many levels to have to continue to deal with this.
Parents are in a better situation in assisted living so that is wonderful. That only took 18 months to accomplish, but it is done and they are safe.
Sick of dealing with the emotional fall out from this saga.
Any suggestions? Have consulted with a therapist and a lawyer, who just stay keep a low profile and don't be a target.
The boxes were very poorly packed. They both arrived split and open to weather. One contained shattered glass from a photo of my great-grandparents, circa 1910. Only such photo in existence, no copies, no one ever had the chance to copy it.
Stuff just stuffed in there, will nilly. To me it felt angry. He had said when he called this week he was angry at being there, angry at everyone in the family. But he is the one who unbeknownst to siblings and mother, took my dad to lawyer's about 10 years ago and had himself appointed POA and executor.
He has not done any of the house cleaning and repair; my husband and I have done weeks of it.
He has done a lot of passive aggressive stuff around money, tried to have me pay bills, threatened me with paying their creditors, then claims to be joking, had me pay bills and then very slow to pay me back; I will not pay any more bills or put myself in that position with him anymore.
There have been several years of this now and parents still living and for all we know may continue living 10 more years. They are remarkably hardy.
How do I deal with the anger that I feel over this, which quickly morphs into panic and anxiety? Take a lot of valierian, have worked on being able to sleep after spending a week with him at the house--it was like PTSD after I got back from the trip. and no when I get back to their house, I wake up sobbing and yelling in my sleep--very disturbing on many levels to have to continue to deal with this.
Parents are in a better situation in assisted living so that is wonderful. That only took 18 months to accomplish, but it is done and they are safe.
Sick of dealing with the emotional fall out from this saga.
Any suggestions? Have consulted with a therapist and a lawyer, who just stay keep a low profile and don't be a target.