View Full Version : Merged Kitty Household - Jealousy issues? What to do
So, we have a household that merged kitties (I had two neutered boys, and my boyfriend had 1 spayed girl). My younger boy (3 y/o) and the girl kitty (9 y/o) get along great. They are best friends.
HOWEVER we are having issues with my older boy (7 y/o). When I am not home, he tolerates the girl kitty (my boyfriend has pics of him and the girl kitty sleeping next to each other on the bed and the cat tree). When I am home, the girl kitty is a lapcat and loves to sit in my lap, but it makes my boy kitty mad. He doesn't do anything when I'm in the room, but when I am in the other part of the house he will corner and attack the girl kitty. He has also started peeing on my clothes if I leave them on the floor (only my clothes, and only dirty clothes I leave on the floor).
My boyfriend and I aren't sure what to do about this situation. I've been better about not leaving dirty clothes on the floor - putting them in the hamper. I've also been giving the boy kitty cuddle sessions alone with me when I get home from work.
But that hasn't stopped the fighting. Not sure what else to do to diffuse the situation. Its odd that they get along fine as long as I'm not in the house.
He didn't do that when I got the kitten a few years ago (maybe he didn't see him as a threat since he is was just a kitten when I got him?)
Grr... frustrations of merged households...
I've read that it's easier to introduce kittens because they are less of a threat.
There are some products available that claim to help stressed cats. We're trying some of them now, but I don't know yet how effective they are. Amazon carries a number of them - much larger selection than I saw at PetSmart.
This is a pretty good article on introducing cats to a new cat:
http://www.humanesociety.org/animals/cats/tips/introducing_new_cat.html
Since it sounds like the 3 cats are already fully introduced, I'm not sure what the best thing to do is - but maybe backing up and giving them their own space and slowly introducing is one possibility.
One thing you could do is contact a local no-kill shelter for tips on your situation. They tend to be very involved with their animals and work hard to make sure that the cats will be able to stay in their adoptive homes, so they might have some additional suggestions for you.
Two ideas: I'd first try extra litter boxes, if haven't already. With three cats, you should have four (yikes!) litter boxes so no one feels threatened. Another idea is a visit to the vet for kitty tranquilizers. The nice thing about cats is that if the tranquilizers work, once you take them off, they usually don't revert to their old behavior.
chrisgermany
6-1-11, 4:48am
I'd try staying away from the girl and let boyfriend do more of the lap sitting and cuddling with her. Instead focus on the boy
We used Feliway w/ some success. It's a liquid that plugs into an outlet like an air freshener. Kind of spendy. It's an "all is well" cat pheremone. One other thing I've heard of that sounds like so much fun is to coat each cat w/ the liquid from cans of tuna fish and lock them in a bathroom together until they start grooming each other.
My sister uses Feliway with pretty good results. She calls them "kitty bongs". But I dunno. That combined with the cats locked in a bathroom licking each other kinda sounds like a creepy version of "Cats Gone Wild".
I have three litter boxes scattered around the house. I had 4, but one had a low opening and one of the kitties was kicking litter out of it all over the floor so I had to get rid of it. I'll have to go get another one to replace it soon, maybe one more will help.
I'll have to try the feliway, that sounds like a good idea.
I have a similar cat, although she is a girl. We've given up on fostering any more until she passes away one day. She becomes soooo angry and also pees on stuff. How long have you had the merged household? It takes her about a month to get back to semi normal. We even tried fostering kittens last time, thinking maybe it would bring out the nurturer in her, nope.
Also, when we brought her home from the shelter we thought she was just not a nice cat at all and I spent about a month wondering, what am I going to do with this meanie? Then a light switch flipped and she got over the issues she had with our existing cat. They have never (shes been with us 7 years) been best friends, but they have coexisted fine after the first couple months. It took a year or so for them to stop cat fighting occasionally, but after that it was smooth sailing. Good luck with your babies!!!
Its been 6 months now. The problems didn't start till about a month ago. They were tolerating each other pretty well before. Not sure what started this.
Edit to add: When we first moved in together, my bf had found another home for his kitty (a good friend of his who adored the girl kitty). However, the person he gave his kitty to had his partner of 40+ years die on him unexpectedly and he couldn't take care of her anymore. So that may be part of the problem, is that the two boy kitties had been in the house alone together so it was 'their territory' but now this strange girl kitty is in 'their' space and taking over 'their' humans.
Its been 6 months now. The problems didn't start till about a month ago. They were tolerating each other pretty well before. Not sure what started this.
Edit to add: When we first moved in together, my bf had found another home for his kitty (a good friend of his who adored the girl kitty). However, the person he gave his kitty to had his partner of 40+ years die on him unexpectedly and he couldn't take care of her anymore. So that may be part of the problem, is that the two boy kitties had been in the house alone together so it was 'their territory' but now this strange girl kitty is in 'their' space and taking over 'their' humans.
That makes the situation clearer. I've heard it recommended when introducing a new kitty, that instead of putting new kitty in the bedroom, you put the other cats in the bedroom and let new cat have full run of the house for a week or two. I think it makes it so their scent is everywhere and the cats feel less like their territory is being invaded. Can't remember if I've tried it myself though. I had to do a re-introduction once (cat was lost for a month) and the others were weird initially, but eventually worked it out without the peeing issues. I got lucky there.
Update: We found out its actually the GIRL kitty peeing on my stuff. We caught her doing it last night. The older boy cat was attacking her when she tried to use the one litter box (I don't know why she didn't use one of the others - he was upstairs and there are 2 other litterboxes on the main level).
Got the Feliway stuff, so we'll see if it helps.
I used the laser to distract them and treats when they could sit next to each other without hissing...they were ok within two days and are now best buddies.
I used the laser to distract them and treats when they could sit next to each other without hissing...they were ok within two days and are now best buddies.
We've been doing the group treat time idea the last few weeks. Combined with the Feliway, hopefully it will help.
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