View Full Version : Are you living the life you wanted when you were a child?
I'm not really sure where to put this thread, but consumerism and the media seems as good a place as any.
I've been asking this question a lot lately, largely as I have moved away from social media, cell phones, etc.
I was born in 1966 - I feel I don't quite fall under the "OK Boomer" group, but I don't quite feel like a millenial.
And of course my life was largely shaped by television. I admit it. I loved Gilligan's Island. As a child, the first "hero figure" I remember from television is Billy Jack from the movie of the same name. I liked the martial arts, but I liked the gentle ambiance of the film. (As a little boy, I didn't pick up on the sexual violence.) I also loved St. Francis from the Zeffirelli film Brother Sun, Sister Moon. Maybe that's my early drive toward simplicity. So, the ongoing boomerism certainly affected me.
I think, as a child, I wanted to grow up into an adult surrounded by nature. I wanted to own few things, do something creative every day, stay out of debt (an early influence of my mother), travel, and be kind. Largely, I've always valued time over money, and I love reading.
I have managed most of that, but the degree to which computers and the internet and, to some degree, the smart phone, has intruded into my life does somehow distort the person I wanted to be on the inside. My brain feels like it is given over to shuffling data and shuffling information - sorting, categorizing, passing along. In some ways, that summarizes my job, but I find I'm doing the same sort of thing when I'm not at work.
I don't think the blame can be laid squarely at the feet of technology - I am responsible for my own actions - but I don't like my technology use, by and large. So, I keep asking myself when I find myself looking at my Google news feed when I'm waiting for water to boil, "Am I living the life I wanted when I was a child." Google news feed? No. Facebook and Twitter? No. Slowly, I've been cutting all that out of my life. I did delete my Facebook and Twitter accounts. I look at Instagram every couple of months to see what my daughter is up to, rather than every day. I keep my Google Fi phone on pause when I'm not traveling and, more or less successfully keep it off and in a desk drawer. (It's been in this time for three whole days running.) And so on.
But I'm sure others of you dreamt of a life with just such technological innovations as we now have. At any rate, are you now living the life you wanted when you were a child?
When I was a child, today's technology was no part of my knowledge base. I felt TV was interesting but preferred to read books. I have lived my life as I dreamt it might be but so very much more as opportunities for women and technology developments have opened up.
At age 10, I wanted my own farm which happened. I wanted to see live opera which I have with many HD Metopera productions and live performances. I wanted to learn about our world which I am with online opportunities like TED talks, Google Search and Great Courses - https://www.thegreatcourses.com/-. Bus tours and cruises have opened up the world with accessible pricing for those who wish to travel.
Maybe, I am not seeing the problem as you do.
I have a FB account but rarely use it; have never had a twitter or instagram account, have no cable TV or such connection but love online news for ease of use. I love my life as it has developed and no regrets about the technology as it is my servant not my master. I am deeply concerned about the cost of all our developments falling on the shoulders of the future generations.
iris lilies
12-3-19, 11:06am
I never dreamed of technological things in my personal life, although in my work life it was a major center of interest.
I spend way too much time on the Internet.
As far as mastering its use, there are plenty of times when I feel the MF things are my master and not the opposite. My HP computer has pretty much always been a disappointment. My iPads are a delight. My phone is enh.
Simplemind
12-3-19, 11:29am
I have been a voracious reader from a very early age. Mom taught me to read far before kindergarten. We moved to the country and other than the school library or the bookmobile there wasn't a place to get a fix other than my mom's books. I was reading things far over my head and often got caught. I read the entire encyclopedia series as well as the dictionary. Remember back in the day being assigned a paper only to find that somebody had already beat you to the library to check out the materials? To me the internet is a frickin miracle. I love that the moment I have a question about something I can track the info down. I love that although I prefer the printed page, when traveling (some women love shoes, I love shopping for travel) I can put countless books on my kindle. I love that I can download music which is my second love and carry hours upon hours of files carefully curated for certain activities. I wanted life as an artist and now with You-tube there are so many tutorials to assist with techniques as well as opening my eyes to new ways of expression. My phone is secondary for communication because I am thrilled to be able to carry it as a camera. I use it constantly to snap ideas and subjects for my painting. There are bouts of solitaire playing while biding time in waiting rooms. A frickin miracle I say.....
As a child I loved nature, reading, art, fashion (via dolls). I still love all those things plus technology. Simplemind summed it up nicely.
My fantasy as a child--raised on Tarzan and Sheena comics--was to live by myself in a house in the jungle. I'm pretty much there. :~)
ApatheticNoMore
12-3-19, 11:59am
Technology is probably a net negative. But I don't have twitter, facebook, instagram, or a smart phone. I just read too much news online I think :~) It's almost never good news .... And read here. Oh and keep a linked-in account. And read click bait articles, that do little good.
I would be better off without it, but it hasn't much to do with life one wanted as a child, and as if one wasn't pretty limited then as well. One lives with the limitations of what one was allowed to want as a child might be more realistic - and then of course the limitations of the adult world as well, which of course child-self was pretty unaware of.
I know I'm not a millenial or Boomer, I'm Gen X, but closer to a millenial in outlook and age and experience (but of course not self-importance, noone seeks our votes, our opinions, or our dollars), than a boomer I think. Believe me there was very little counter-culture left by the time I grew up.
I have always had an overactive imagination but especially as a child. TV, reading and music were very influential to a 50s-60s kid like myself. My mother had me taking lessons of all sorts too - piano, dance, horseback, drama to help me clarify my likes I guess. I wanted to be a ballsy woman like Miss Kitty (a madam for those who don't recall) on Gunsmoke. I wanted to be independent like Pippi Longstocking. I wanted to be a ballerina and ride horses. I wanted to be a cowboy (girl?). The only talent I had though was being able to draw so I figured that I would be an artist since that is what always brought me praise throughout school. I did not become an artist but being creative is fundamental to me regardless of what path it takes so in that respect, I am true to that original calling. I have to say I am dismayed and often feel guilt about the amount of time I spend looking at the internet - it is a time suck and keeps me from being creative but rather sucking up other people's ideas.
My childhood ambitions were to be a nun, an artist, a teacher, a French interpreter at the UN, an actor, a costume designer (I'm sure there were others mixed in)
So I wound up in market research.. hmm...
I don't know if I had a specific vision of what my life would be in adulthood, but I wanted it to be "creatively diverse" I remember I had a clear picture of my dream house: a Tudor on a lot of land with a weeping willow by a stream. The lower floor of the house had many rooms including a music room, a sewing room, and a library. Those are the rooms I remember--but there were about six rooms in total devoted to all kinds of things.
So, in answer to the question, I'm not really living that life now. My life is too one-dimensional, and I need to recalibrate. Technology has hindered my ability to potentiate my life as a Renaissance woman, but at the same time, it has helped. On the negative side, time I'm spending on the computer or looking at my phone diminishes internal silence and the time to do other activities, like sewing and reading.
OTOH, as Simplemind said, I would MUCH prefer to have the technology--the world is literally at our fingertips. It's just up to us how much we allow it to support, rather than dominate, our lives.
I suppose like most children, I dreamed of one day becoming a Certified Public Accountant. That came to pass, but instead of the jet packs, monkey butlers and robot bodyguards I had hoped for, I got a very helpful phone.
I too would not give up today's technology. I don't think I had a dream for what adult life would be. I assumed I'd be a married housewife with children like Mom. I didn't know an adult woman who worked until I was 14? And I lived in a farming community so was not around anyone "professional". Result?
Married at 19, college, career in the Operating Room for nearly 39 years, now retired and enjoying each day.
Teacher Terry
12-3-19, 7:07pm
I wanted to write for soap operas:)). I also wanted to get married and have kids which I did and go to college.
When I was a kid, I knew I wanted to be an engineer (or something like it). Even when I fell into the computer field as a career, I could not have envisioned my last Corporate America job, orchestrating virtual computer users to test software programs and Web sites. That work just didn't exist until a few years before I was doing it. I've seen people survive and even prosper after having major joint issues and people live full, actualized lives even with chronic conditions like diabetes. I've seen so much more of the world than anyone who's lived in my family before me.
Did I figure on a divorce? Or moving to Minnesota? Or some of the other issues which have come up in my life? No. Would I change much of anything? Not sure it's a question worth asking -- the bad stuff opened up as many doors as the good stuff.
ApatheticNoMore
12-3-19, 7:43pm
Maybe I wanted at times to be a teacher, a journalist, a musician. But journalism hardly exists as a profession at this point, and very few people could ever make it as a musician at any time. I always wanted a career, but have never found an ideal one. Financially sure my parents had it better, for lots of reasons, including the times they lived in. I envisioned that, but then I may as well be a millennial saying "ok boomer", for all the use the uselessness of comparing to a different world. Few elders are forcing that comparison on me at this point, why should I care about it, it's so irrelevant.
My dad traveled far more, but I live in an age of collapse and do know it, and so ... with Greta, now where is my sailboat ...
So tech wasn't part of my plans, but it's tangential. Jobs were not necessarily better without tech. I do however think like I said that it's a net negative, even though of course I've sometimes found good in it, and sure there is lots of information, sure I like finding that information, but overall time spent on tech (well at least to the extent it's not earning money haha) is a net negative and I do suspect it's making our society worse too.
No. I wanted to be a writer for a living but I only write Yelp reviews in my spare time. I did recently get my first follower though, plus 115 votes.
Pcooley - it’s fun to read your post.
We are very similar. My favorite things as a kid were to take a bike ride, walk alone through the corn fields and woods, and sit alone and read. But I didn’t really know what I wanted until my late 30s because my life was consumed with pleasing others. I think women struggle with that. I was a good daughter, a good wife, then a good mom. Then In my late 30s I finally gave some thought to what I wanted, not just to what others wanted from me.
But looking back I see hints of who I am today in the thoughts and feelings I remember having, buried under social obligations. If I had it to do over, I would have taken art classes instead of music classes in high school. I would have joined the nature club instead of the church youth group. I did things to please my parents. But I didn’t really know what I wanted until later in life. So it’s really no one’s fault.
mschrisgo2
12-3-19, 10:15pm
Yes, for the most part, I’ve lived the life I envisioned for myself. I was an elementary teacher for 31 years, had one daughter (would have liked to have had more kids), traveled in the US but didn’t get to go abroad. I’ve been able to enjoy nature nearly every day.
I have been a voracious reader since I was 5 yrs old. Often now, that reading is online. I have embraced information technology, but not a lot of social media, as I am on here and Face Book only. I have never routinely watched television. But I clearly remember the day my boss wanted me to type the same letter 37 times, each addressed to a different person. I told him, “uh, no. We have computers that do that now.” Fortunately I was working at the university, and was allowed/encouraged to go to the Information Technology Department and use the machines.
I love that we can look up things immediately on our “phones”- such a handy teaching tool. Every tutoring session, we end up looking up at least one thing, often many. I can look up new quilt patterns, and see demonstrations of them. I can turn to U tube for how to fix just about any thing. I can watch a demonstration of pruning roses, and learn when I should do it. I can shop on line, not always buy on line, but definitely shop, to see the breadth of the choices- totally beats driving all over town! So, yes, I have embraced technology, just not the social media aspect, but then, I am an introvert.
I am happy to be a woman of my generation- yes, a boomer- and not of the ones before. I like that we are experiencing the freedoms that the women before us lacked. And I feel a responsibility to preserve those rights.
Would I change much of anything? Not sure it's a question worth asking -- the bad stuff opened up as many doors as the good stuff.
This statement rings so true to me. I've always just followed whatever path seemed to make the most sense at any given point of my life and let the twists and turns play out however they would. If I hadn't hated the first Lord of the Rings movie I wouldn't likely be a successful cyber insurance underwriter today. (If I'd liked that movie I would've gone with my friends to see the second one instead of inviting the cute redhead I'd just met to come home with me. And if I hadn't brought him home that night then 7 years later when he had a great job opportunity I wouldn't have moved with him from NYC to San Francisco. Once here I lucked into my current career because I was in the right place at the right time.)
But back to the OP's question. I never really had some big vision of what my adult life would be like. I guess I lacked the imagination to picture some grand scheme like several here have described. But overall I'm happy with how things have turned out. Occasionally I have to take a step back and say "wow, do I really want to be spending this much time on facebook..." or things like that, but yeah, mostly I'm content.
I suppose like most children, I dreamed of one day becoming a Certified Public Accountant.
I'm reminded of one of the first days of my college experience. I showed up for accounting 101 or whatever it was called and the professor made us each introduce ourselves and explain why we were there. One of my classmates said "Hi, I'm ---. I'm here because this is the first step towards my goal or working at a big 6 accounting firm." I was fascinated at the idea that an 18 year old would dream of working at a big 6 accounting firm, but apparently she did. Looking back I just hope for her sake that she didn't wind up at Arthur Andersen.
I'm reminded of one of the first days of my college experience. I showed up for accounting 101 or whatever it was called and the professor made us each introduce ourselves and explain why we were there. One of my classmates said "Hi, I'm ---. I'm here because this is the first step towards my goal or working at a big 6 accounting firm." I was fascinated at the idea that an 18 year old would dream of working at a big 6 accounting firm, but apparently she did. Looking back I just hope for her sake that she didn't wind up at Arthur Andersen.
Over the course of my career, I saw the Big Eight become the Final Four.
happystuff
12-4-19, 6:57am
My teen years were all the Beatles and John Denver - Rocky Mountain High. I wanted to be a forest ranger. I am not a forest ranger, so in that sense, I am not "living my childhood dream". But that's okay. I've done more and been more places than I ever dreamed as a child. I wanted children and I have children, which is one of my bigger dreams fulfilled.
As for technology, I programmed in the past and do data management now. I enjoy it. Technological gadgets - I pick and choose what I use and how I use them.
I liked SteveinMN's "Would I change much of anything? Not sure it's a question worth asking -- the bad stuff opened up as many doors as the good stuff." Some of the bad stuff has been pretty bad, but I am where I am today because of the good AND the bad. Right now, life isn't too bad, and I know things will always change. :)
ToomuchStuff
12-4-19, 9:03am
Certainly, would depend on what point in your childhood your talking about. My thought when I was two (and my first memory), certainly not, as my grandfather died, when I was six.
By the time I was in my teens, I had hoped to me joining the military, to escape this place, as I always thought I would be dead by thirty, just not sure by whose hand. That was shot down when I was eighteen, and declared 4F, while being threatened with jail time if I didn't register for the draft.
I never expected to live this long and so my goals, I achieved most of them in some form, by the time I was 25.
Tech, I have been both into, and not. At several points in my life, people tried to drag me into it, because I was good at it and it seemed to come easily. Everything I enjoyed, that went down that road (do what you love, was what people told me as a kid), turned into things I hated, because I always dealt with other peoples problems. I never got into the social media aspect side of software. Forums such as this, are as much about subject matter and content, then social media (look at me, this celebrity, divisive political jabs, etc.) I've know too many people where security and privacy are actual concerns, and the celebrity thing causes me trouble (hey since you know x, can you get me an autographed cd). Where tech was supposed to make the world a smaller place and provide information and entertainment, while it does the later, IMHE, the world is already a much smaller place then I even realized as a kid.
For me, at this stage, it is more existing, then living.
For as long as I can remember, I wanted a pony.
Now I have one.
My life is complete :)
iris lilies
12-8-19, 7:43pm
For as long as I can remember, I wanted a pony.
Now I have one.
My life is complete :)
wonderful! Is this a recent acquisition?
Tell us about this pony please. Where you got it and what you plan to enjoy doing together? Horses are a major commitment but so worth it.
I had lost my beloved Arabian boy Zar in July after owning him for 23 years (he was 34). While looking at a farm's website last year, I saw an ad for a pinto pony for sale and thought that I'd like a pony next. When Zar died, I lasted only two weeks before looking for another; having a horse is such a big part of my life that I felt lost and empty without one. For the heck of it, I checked to see if the pony was still for sale, thinking he would be gone by now. The trainer had me come and try him out and he was a perfect fit. He was a barn favorite and the trainer had bought him back when he didn't work out with someone else who had bought him. She was thrilled he was happy with me and I with him and she would only sell him to the right person.
So now Merlyn (Welsh for pony) is part of the next phase of my horse life. I kept him where he was, I take lessons with the trainer (French classical dressage), met a great bunch of people, and am totally smitten with my fluffy pony. He's smart, kind, honest and stinking adorable.
Here's a link to the farm's Facebook page. There's a video of us warming up for our lesson. https://www.facebook.com/patewoodfarm/
I remembered your loss of your horse. So pleased you found a new one. I don’t remember you doing dressage though. Is this a new adventure for you?
Nope, always loved dressage. I took lessons for many years but changed barns often and stopped when my horse became older. No big ambitions of showing; just want to enjoy learning and riding as well as I can. There's always room for improvement and always something to learn. The fact that he's a fluffy pony instead of a big sporthorse bred for dressage just makes it more fun.
rosarugosa
12-10-19, 5:59am
He is a lovely pony!
happystuff
12-10-19, 7:15am
What a beautiful pony! Congrats and I wish you both wonderful times together.
What a gorgeous boy and what a lovely facility. I am horseless at the moment and boy does this make me realize I am not living the life I wanted as a child as all I ever wanted was a horse.
I also miss riding at a barn with friends--the comraderie is so wonderful.
iris lilies
12-10-19, 8:33am
Your pony is so cute and beautiful and burly. I love him!
"Burly" is a good description. Definitely a hardy one. Thanks everyone. I'm hoping for many healthy years with this little guy. He's got a puppydog personality; he's always in your face and likes to lick.
Tybee, why not take lessons or lease/half lease? Not quite the same as one of your own but you'd be among others just as passionate and you can get your horsie fix without a long term commitment. Nothing compares to being around horses. I have a magnet on my car: That barn smell is my aromatherapy.
Teacher Terry
12-10-19, 10:00pm
As a teenager I rode for free every Saturday in return for cleaning stalls. It was so much fun. I have rode a few times as a adult.
iris lilies
12-10-19, 10:34pm
http://www.simplelivingforum.net/showthread.php?1237-Did-your-life-end-up-like-you-envisioned-it-would/page6
This links to an earlier thread on the same topic. Interesting where we were nine years ago!
http://www.simplelivingforum.net/showthread.php?1237-Did-your-life-end-up-like-you-envisioned-it-would/page6
This links to an earlier thread on the same topic. Interesting where we were nine years ago!
Fun to read the old thread.
Tybee, why not take lessons or lease/half lease? Not quite the same as one of your own but you'd be among others just as passionate and you can get your horsie fix without a long term commitment. Nothing compares to being around horses. I have a magnet on my car: That barn smell is my aromatherapy.
Yeah, I think start back with one lesson a week. That might be enough to get my fix, and I'd meet some horse friends.
Yeah, I think start back with one lesson a week. That might be enough to get my fix, and I'd meet some horse friends.
Good for you! I don't know what kind of riding you do, but find a barn with mostly adults if you can. Stay away from show barns with lots of kids. Most dressage barns are filled with middle aged women who are there to learn and also socialize and some aren't interested in showing. Check out stables' Facebook pages and see what kind of things they do. Some have wine and cheese nights or go out on organized trail rides.
If my 5 year old self could see me now, having a horse/pony would override anything else I've accomplished.
I ride Western, and my favorite activity with my horse was starting to work on drill team. So that would be a dream activity to shoot towards. And you certainly need other people.
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