My friend brought the new lover to an event...

[redfox]

My friends who are divorcing are continuing to shred each other... and as I feared, one of them came with the new lover to a party tonight. We sat at the table together, and I felt slightly nauseous all evening. I don't like this new person, I've never liked them, and it was horribly difficult to sit there with the little glances, touches, and sexual vibes. I am intensely aware of the just having been left ex-partner who is in agony as a 13 year marriage is unraveled, and the one in the affair is swanning around looking extremely happy - but with a rather intense edge to it. The whole thing feels creepy and wrong. Ugh.

Thanks for listening to my lament...

[kally]

I can totally relate. I hate this kind of stuff and get overly involved myself, but my own advice to myself is just let the whole thing run its course.

it always feel uncomfortable to others around, but, really, what can we do?

[redfox]

it always feel uncomfortable to others around, but, really, what can we do?

Nothing, unless invited to share an opinion. I do think I need to stop hearing the one with the new lover complain about the one who was left for said new lover...

[kally]

well you CAN do something about that. I try to remain friends with a couple who have split and rarely hear them say anything against the other person, as I am friends to both.

[Wildflower]

I've seen situations like this before where the tables turn and the one having the affair lives to regret it alot....

[Anne Lee]

Ugh. I feel for you and really, everyone involved as these rebound relationships often crash and burn creating even more drama and pain.

[Tenngal]

start limiting the time you spend with the one who has a new lover......make it gradual, they are probably to engrossed to even notice.

[Kat]

Just wanted to say I'm sorry! I've been through something similar. My girlfriend was unfaithful to her husband. She left him and their children kids and shacked up with the new guy. I tried to be objective and accepting of him, but he was rude and crass and inappropriate in so many ways. The ex-husband ended up turning very bitter about her and life in general. He is a completely different person now--depressed and cyncical. It was horrible, and now we really aren't friends with either. It totally breaks my heart; we miss them a lot, but just can't deal with all the drama and negative energy. Leaves us feeling emotionally drained for weeks!

I hope your situation works out to a better end.

[Bronxboy]

I'm with Tenngal. Sad as it is, there are friendships that just can't survive a breakup or a new partner. My wife and I are dealing with one now.

Give your relationship with your friend a few more tries over time, but be prepared for the possibility that it will no longer work.