SiouzQ.
3-1-21, 2:09pm
I was just in tears because of the fate of my wrists and hands. Once again, I misjudged what I am physically able to do and have re-injured the right wrist that had the surgery on Dec. 15 to remove the old titanium plate and debride the torn cartilage. I'm pretty sure I tore it again the other day doing something I should not have done, which was helping someone move something that they were buying from me because now I have the sharp pain, the weakness, clicking and popping, just like when I injured it last October when I was helping my mom move.
Even before that, I was having trouble playing more than two songs on my little travel guitar, even barely strumming the strings, and only twice a week. And fabricating my jewelry has been just as difficult; I managed to make a bunch of rings to fill out my inventory and it took 3x as long because I can only do a little each day. I have a few more pieces I wanted to make to round out my stock for the summer and that was all I was going to do, but now I'm not sure I can even do that. At this point I really feel like just giving up the jewelry business and liquidating everything, tools and such, and work on selling my inventory and just being done with it.
I hate trying to hold out hope anymore that my wrists are going to magically get better over time. I really don't think they are; I have a degenerative condition that seems to only get worse. I don't think there is much more medicine can do for me. I'm more upset about possibly not being able to really play my guitars because there is so much more I want to learn. I've always thought that it would be easier to give up being a silversmith because I have already achieved my goal with it, which was to be successful in a competitive jewelry market such as Santa Fe, except I would miss the extra income from it. But playing guitar and singing really feeds my soul in a way that making jewelry doesn't.
Anyway, I am wondering if for my mental health it might be better to make a decision about it this year and just be done with it so I can move on, instead of stringing myself along thinking it's going to get better. I guess that is called acceptance. I did call my ortho doctor today to let her know I've re-injured yet again, but I don't think there is much more that can be done. I'm already back in my splint trying to immobilize it.
Even before that, I was having trouble playing more than two songs on my little travel guitar, even barely strumming the strings, and only twice a week. And fabricating my jewelry has been just as difficult; I managed to make a bunch of rings to fill out my inventory and it took 3x as long because I can only do a little each day. I have a few more pieces I wanted to make to round out my stock for the summer and that was all I was going to do, but now I'm not sure I can even do that. At this point I really feel like just giving up the jewelry business and liquidating everything, tools and such, and work on selling my inventory and just being done with it.
I hate trying to hold out hope anymore that my wrists are going to magically get better over time. I really don't think they are; I have a degenerative condition that seems to only get worse. I don't think there is much more medicine can do for me. I'm more upset about possibly not being able to really play my guitars because there is so much more I want to learn. I've always thought that it would be easier to give up being a silversmith because I have already achieved my goal with it, which was to be successful in a competitive jewelry market such as Santa Fe, except I would miss the extra income from it. But playing guitar and singing really feeds my soul in a way that making jewelry doesn't.
Anyway, I am wondering if for my mental health it might be better to make a decision about it this year and just be done with it so I can move on, instead of stringing myself along thinking it's going to get better. I guess that is called acceptance. I did call my ortho doctor today to let her know I've re-injured yet again, but I don't think there is much more that can be done. I'm already back in my splint trying to immobilize it.