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flowerseverywhere
8-18-22, 11:04pm
Six months ago DH had a cancer dx stage three. We quickly were referred and seen at one of the National Cancer institute centers of excellence, the only one in our state.
I have no idea how people do this if they have children and full time jobs. Our care has been wonderful however it becomes the central focus of your life.
We have excellent insurance including Medicare with a zero premium supplement so the tens of thousands of dollars of bills (and climbing) has cost us little.
we also have to travel 1.5 hours, sometimes spend the night and have affiliated costs like meals etc.

I am incredibly thankful to have no debt, good insurance and a good working car. We pack food when we journey down. The fridge has easy to digest food for when he comes home after treatments regardless of what they cost. Today I was able to borrow a wheelchair from a local organization that takes donated equipment and lends it to those who need it temporarily. He has a big surgery coming up and I will do whatever I can to make it easier for both of us. I can cook whatever he has a taste for. Sometimes I see young people who are so sick and my heart breaks.

a while ago we made some home modifications that have paid off. ADA Grab bars in the bathroom and a hand held shower head. A shower chair. We live in a one floor house.

so living below our means and striving to live debt free has helped saved his life as his diagnosis could easily have been a death sentence. We had no hesitation to travel to this center to get the best of care. We are lucky indeed.

iris lilies
8-18-22, 11:42pm
I’m sorry to hear this. I know that cancer treatment is grueling and takes over your life.


When we moved to Hermann people asked us (because we are old) “will you be close to hospital”? And technically sure we’re close to hospital, we are literally half a mile away. But they’re not gonna treat any cancer at that small county hospital.

It’s handy to have a condo in the city of St. Louis where we could stay for that sort of treatment. My friend who had pretty extensive cancer treatment moved from the country to her city place during that time, finding it extremely handy. Really it’s the same for any extensive treatment such as major heart attack and recovery, etc.


But I sometimes wonder if I would go through extensive treatment. At stage four probably not. I don’t really know because yes you put your life on hold During the treatment. If you come out of it with decent quality of life and decent time left, it’s worth it.

People who have to travel to St. Louis from the hinterlands for the special treatment certainly do incur great cost.

about home improvements, I’m having grab bars installed in the bathroom I will use. DH declined having grab bars installed in the shower he will use, but that’s his call. We toyed with the idea of a built in shower chair, but I told him we could just get a plastic stool or chair when the time comes that we need that. Hand held shower head has been my requirement for the past decade.

Tradd
8-18-22, 11:56pm
So sorry to hear this. Good thoughts your way.

rosarugosa
8-19-22, 6:26am
Oh Flowers, I am so sorry for what you and your DH are going through. I hope he has a very good outcome. We are in the greater Boston area, so we are fortunate to have access to first-rate medical care. However, given Boston traffic it can easily take 1.5 hours to get to the hospital 12 miles away!

frugal-one
8-19-22, 8:19am
Sorry to hear about DH… but happy to hear major costs and extra worry are not incurred. Wishing you both the best.

pinkytoe
8-19-22, 10:15am
Life most certainly will hand us hard issues but good to be prepared as you have done. Wishing you and your husband the best.

JaneV2.0
8-19-22, 10:16am
I'm glad to hear you're able to handle this difficult situation well. Wishing the best possible outcome of his surgery and beyond.

dado potato
8-19-22, 6:11pm
flowerseverywhere,

I was sad to see your original post, but gratified to see how resilient you and your DH are, given the dx. Like others who have replied, I hope for a very good outcome for your DH.

My DW is a cancer survivor, now 15+ years. A few people hoped and prayed for her health and wholeness, and for the oncologist, radiologists, surgeons, nurses, etc, who were part of her treatment team.

For your DH and you, I will light a candle.

4747

happystuff
8-20-22, 9:42am
Adding my prayers for both you and your dh. Hope for a positive outcome as well.

Teacher Terry
8-21-22, 2:23am
Flowers, sending lots of love and light to you both.

flowerseverywhere
8-21-22, 6:01am
Thank you for the good wishes. It has been difficult but as I said, we are as prepared as we could have been.
In a few weeks we should know how effective the treatment has been. We are approaching 50 years of marriage so I've lived my whole adult life with him.

Simone
8-27-22, 12:42am
Will be thinking of the two of you and hoping for his recovery.

Tybee
8-27-22, 6:01am
Sending prayers and good wishes, flowers!

early morning
8-27-22, 1:41pm
thinking of you flowers, and your dh, and hoping for a positive outcome.

catherine
8-27-22, 4:14pm
I am praying for you and your DH, flowers. I can relate to what you're going through. Try to take care of yourself.

flowerseverywhere
8-27-22, 4:59pm
Now we wait for biopsy results after a long surgery and deal with drains and dressings. We have lots of support but it is very hard to remain positive. Thank you for your good wishes

happystuff
8-28-22, 12:18pm
Still sending prayers and positive energies to you both.

iris lilies
8-28-22, 12:41pm
Now we wait for biopsy results after a long surgery and deal with drains and dressings. We have lots of support but it is very hard to remain positive. Thank you for your good wishes
The sounds as so it will be another long-haul of care for you, so I hope you get good rest and hang in there. And here’s hoping there’s a good outcome when you get to the other side.