"Semi-Retired" I Guess, and Bored

[SiouzQ.]

I've been only working two days a week gallery-sitting for several months now because it has been really slow in our tourist town. I mean REALLY slow. There have been many days with no sales at all. It's also been really cold lately. My already kind-of boring job is even more boring, like I am going-to-lose-my-mind kind-of-bored sitting there seven hours a day. I know in reality that I have all sorts of stuff to be grateful for but I find myself slipping into a funk because of the boredom.

There are only so many fingerless gloves I can knit, only so much doom-scrolling on my phone I can do while sitting on the uncomfortable wooden chair. I try to read a book, but my bad wrists can't hold it up for very long. Sometime I take my computer to work to catch up on stuff but I'm not feeling particularly creative these days. I can no longer play my guitar, so that's out. I guess it sounds like I am a little depressed, and I suppose that's true to some extent.

It's funny, all those decades of working my a** off to get to "retirement" and now that is is here, I'm not sure I like it very much. I was talking to my sister last night, who at 68 years old is finally going down to part time work and she feels the same way. What do you DO with all that time?

I know once it gets warmer here I'll have my big yard to fool around in, but spring is sure taking its time coming here into the mountains. I have not been very successful so far in working my way out of this funk I seem to be in...

[Rogar]

Our library has tons of audio books you can check out for free. I use those Bluetooth in the ear buds, so it’s pretty subtle.

[iris lilies]

I surf the internet offering my wisdom to a variety of forums. I read a bit. I watch a ton of video. I do garden work and worry about not doing more garden work.

i’m president of two garden organizations. I’m a treasurer of another one. I’m a secretary of another one. I have my hands in a couple of other garden organizations at committee level work.

I pet my cat and play with her.. I talk to my dog. I go to the grocery store 3 times a week. I cook whatever I feel like when I feel like it.

Once we met the deadline to move all of our crap out of our house of 33 years, there is no pressure to do anything here at our new home. All of the surfaces, well, the ones that are finished, are nice and shiney and new and are a little bit fun to keep clean BUT I will eventually hore a house cleaning person.

[JaneV2.0]

I can't relate to boredom in retirement, but I was often bored beyond belief at work. Your job, with its Throne of Torment, sounds awful to me. Not helpful, I know. Could you read e-books on your laptop or tablet? How about a reverse coloring book? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4b42aUlY3BE

I thank the Universe every day for retirement.

[SiouzQ.]

I think I miss a little hustle and bustle at work, is what it is. This damn job is SOooooooo sedentary. I've gained about 20 lbs since my Wholefoods job from 6.5 years ago. I really miss the job I that I moved out here for, the one I lost back in the fall of 2021 when the owners decided to sell the gallery. I had all the responsibility of running the place day-to-day back then and it was the perfect amount of stuff to do in a cool place to do it. I don't have that kind of role at this new place; the owners are a bit loosey-goosey with things that I don't have the authority to change so I just try to roll with it the best I can.

I know I sound kind of whiny right now, but that's where I'm at with it. I'll get sick of my whiny self at some point and figure it out...

[Rogar]

I have retired friends who have done a variety of volunteer projects. Meals on wheels, hospice visitors, naturalist educators, museum docents, habitat for humanity re-use store, etc. I had project's to my suiting for 10 years after early retirement, maybe 15 or 20 hours a week. They ended with Covid and I'd like to find something new. I've just started getting comfortable with groups of people after covid. It used to be there was a national directory where you could search for specific types of volunteer duties by area. I think it's still out there, but haven't checked. By experience some are mindless and thankless, others a learning experience and fun or rewarding.

[iris lilies]

With all those galleries out your way, I can’t believe that you can’t find more challenging work in a gallery. Good employees are so incredibly hard to find these days, let alone someone with your experience. If you want to continue to work because that’s entertaining for you, get cracking in finding a better job lady!

[catherine]

I think I miss a little hustle and bustle at work, is what it is. This damn job is SOooooooo sedentary. I've gained about 20 lbs since my Wholefoods job from 6.5 years ago. I really miss the job I that I moved out here for, the one I lost back in the fall of 2021 when the owners decided to sell the gallery. I had all the responsibility of running the place day-to-day back then and it was the perfect amount of stuff to do in a cool place to do it. I don't have that kind of role at this new place; the owners are a bit loosey-goosey with things that I don't have the authority to change so I just try to roll with it the best I can.



Could you come up some kind job that approximates what you loved about your old gallery job? Up here we have a group of artists who rent a building to sell their art (fine art, jewelry, cards, textiles, etc) and they take turns manning the store. Do you have any friend/artists that you could assemble to do something like that? Share costs and labor?

I just looked on their FB page and they also do workshops.

[pinkytoe]

I think the weather contributes a lot to that sense of being confined and bored. I am salivating to get outside and hike/garden/walk and this very cold, dreary winter just drags on. I recall how boring it can be to sit all day especially without some human interaction - I did that in my state government job on many days. If I hadn't spent hours over this winter starting seeds and learning all I could about native plants, I might have lost my mind. DH can look at the internet all day - I can't. I think in retirement you have to put a lot of effort into getting out there and Covid sure messed that up. Right now, I have book club and garden volunteering. Maybe things will pick up after the weather gets better. I know it's a drive but maybe two days at a gallery in Santa Fe would be more fun.

[bae]

What do you DO with all that time?


I retired > 20 years ago, in my mid-30s. So I've had a while to work on the problem :-)

I've found the key is to keep fully-engaged in "things", especially things that have purpose.

- I've gone through several part-time careers since "retired", most in public service.

- I also try to learn something substantial and interesting every year - a skill, a language, a body of knowledge, and so on.

- I'm still spending ~10 hours a week studying structural firefighting, technical rescue work, and emergency medical skills.

- I tend to read several non-fluff books a week, not directly related to whatever I'm studying.

- I do a bit of research in mathematics and computer science still.

- I engage in social activities with friends and relatives.

- I spend a lot of time taking care of my health, with the theory that it will never be any easier than it is today to get in better shape for tomorrow. Long walks on my hilly mountain, and lots of bicycling, and lifting of weights is involved.

- I practice martial arts, mostly historical fencing these days

- I spent a lot of time until now raising my daughter, and still spend hours every week teleconferencing with her - she's teaching me several of the languages she specializes in, which is fun.

I think I'm busier these days than when I worked for a living.

[ApatheticNoMore]

I think I might find myself feeling completely worthless to the world in retirement. But work provides the profoundest deepest sense of meaning? Well no, no, no, it definitely does not. But it is something. I could have really used more time when I was young and wasting it all on work, but I'm not so sure I will even want it when I am old. Well that's would be a bitter irony wouldn't it? I'm not at all retired.

[Rogar]

I have a book on my to read shelf called, "How to Do Nothing". I think it has been popular on the NYT best seller list. I haven't had time to read it yet, but will get to it.

There are some online courses on mindfulness that allow a person to occupy some expendable brain space, if a person is into such a thing. I subscribe to a Sam Harris series, but it's not free.

[iris lilies]

I have a book on my to read shelf called, "How to Do Nothing". I think it has been popular on the NYT best seller list. I haven't had time to read it yet, but will get to it.

There are some online courses on mindfulness that allow a person to occupy some expendable brain space, if a person is into such a thing. I subscribe to a Sam Harris series, but it's not free.
I listen to Sam Harris sometimes. He offers the first 10 to 15 minutes of his podcast for free. I just watched him a couple days ago on Lex Friedman‘s podcast on YouTube. He will also show up on Rogan now and then and on Jordan Peterson. Those were his buddies from the dark web days, but they all went their separate ways. Sam Harris gets absolutely apoplectic about Donald Trump being President again.

[herbgeek]

I've been retired almost 4 years now, and haven't fully found my groove. I had been planning on getting out of the workforce earlier than typical since discovering Your Money or Your Life, so it wasn't like I hadn't thought about what I'd do all day.

The first 6 months I signed up fo every class and activity I could find locally, and that was fun. I also got the gardens I'd often neglected back in shape which was a physical challenge for a few months. Then my Dad got cancer and died pretty quickly, leaving my Mom with dementia behind. So there were weekly visits, and grocery shopping, and food prep every week until she had deteriorated to a scary point, and we had to put her in assisted living. Meanwhile the pandemic happened, which meant all the activities I was signed up for came to a halt.

Even though I'm an serious introvert, the pandemic was mentally difficult for me. There's a difference between choosing to stay home and having to stay home.

I miss working with tools and techology, so I've volunteered to handle the website for a Over 50 women's group I'm a member of. Its not regular enough, or challenging enough now that I've learned the web tools but it helps to scratch that itch a bit. I joined a book club recently, even though I always saw myself as not a book club person (I read mostly non fiction/self help stuff). Once a year or so I take a Coursera that is completely out of my element (this year its an introduction to classical music, last year was neurobiology). I joined a discussion group at my senior center, as well as exercise classes. I joined a "learning in retirement" program at a local community college which has members presenting various topics for one hour talks- yesterday the morning session was a ghost hunter, and the afternoon session was a local person who started a distillery.

I found that retirement takes more work than I imagined. I have to spend a lot of time finding things to do. I'm trying to find more "series" things like my learning in retirement program and not just one off classes. I still don't have a good social network, so I do most of my stuff solo. I have difficulty making friends, so I'm hoping doing more "series" things will help, where you see the same people repeatedly. Winter's are harder- both to find activities and to fight my natural hibernation instincts. In the summer, in addition to all the gardening, spouse and I will drive around and look at touristy places, picnic, and go for hikes/bike rides.

Sometimes I miss working. The actual work part, not the sitting in meetings and dealing with politics part. I like figuring out how software works. But tech companies tend to be all consuming - unless you have a specific in demand skill , part time is really not an option (and I don't). I really like having the flexibility of sitting outside with a cup of coffee on a gorgeous morning and just hanging with the birds, and I wouldn't want to give that up. So occasional boredom is the "cost" for this, still a good trade off IMO.

[Rogar]

I listen to Sam Harris sometimes.

Sam has a regular free podcast, "Making Sense", with discussions on contemporary topics and usually about an hour long. He has a for pay series with extended versions of these discussions. And also a for pay series called Waking Up, which is a mindfulness series and has hours and hours of exercises and discussions, but no politics.

[iris lilies]

I've been retired almost 4 years now, and haven't fully found my groove. I had been planning on getting out of the workforce earlier than typical since discovering Your Money or Your Life, so it wasn't like I hadn't thought about what I'd do all day.

The first 6 months I signed up fo every class and activity I could find locally, and that was fun. I also got the gardens I'd often neglected back in shape which was a physical challenge for a few months. Then my Dad got cancer and died pretty quickly, leaving my Mom with dementia behind. So there were weekly visits, and grocery shopping, and food prep every week until she had deteriorated to a scary point, and we had to put her in assisted living. Meanwhile the pandemic happened, which meant all the activities I was signed up for came to a halt.

Even though I'm an serious introvert, the pandemic was mentally difficult for me. There's a difference between choosing to stay home and having to stay home.

I miss working with tools and techology, so I've volunteered to handle the website for a Over 50 women's group I'm a member of. Its not regular enough, or challenging enough now that I've learned the web tools but it helps to scratch that itch a bit. I joined a book club recently, even though I always saw myself as not a book club person (I read mostly non fiction/self help stuff). Once a year or so I take a Coursera that is completely out of my element (this year its an introduction to classical music, last year was neurobiology). I joined a discussion group at my senior center, as well as exercise classes. I joined a "learning in retirement" program at a local community college which has members presenting various topics for one hour talks- yesterday the morning session was a ghost hunter, and the afternoon session was a local person who started a distillery.

I found that retirement takes more work than I imagined. I have to spend a lot of time finding things to do. I'm trying to find more "series" things like my learning in retirement program and not just one off classes. I still don't have a good social network, so I do most of my stuff solo. I have difficulty making friends, so I'm hoping doing more "series" things will help, where you see the same people repeatedly. Winter's are harder- both to find activities and to fight my natural hibernation instincts. In the summer, in addition to all the gardening, spouse and I will drive around and look at touristy places, picnic, and go for hikes/bike rides.

Sometimes I miss working. The actual work part, not the sitting in meetings and dealing with politics part. I like figuring out how software works. But tech companies tend to be all consuming - unless you have a specific in demand skill , part time is really not an option (and I don't). I really like having the flexibility of sitting outside with a cup of coffee on a gorgeous morning and just hanging with the birds, and I wouldn't want to give that up. So occasional boredom is the "cost" for this, still a good trade off IMO.


four years is a long time! I hope you get to where you want to be, feeling at ease with retirement.

For us we were already involved in so many gardening activities before retirement that we didn’t join many new ones, although I did start National Garden Club membership and judges training, so that is now eating up tons of time. But it’s all under the same umbrella of “gardening. “

Plant societies and garden clubs are counseling each other to look to newly retired people for Membership. They are often looking for opportunities for involvement. I saw this recently in the Hermann garden club with two new people besides us, both newly retired, both newly moved to Hermann which is a nice little retirement town.

[pinkytoe]

98% of the members of the gardening club I joined here are retired women.

[iris lilies]

98% of the members of the gardening club I joined are female and most I suspect are fairly well off.

our Hermann garden club is 95% female. DH is one of the male members.

they are holding as their main fundraiser this year something we did for years in our old neighborhood: sale of antique and vintage collectibles. Only they’re afraid they won’t get enough donations from the garden club members so they’re going out and buying things. I see that as risky.

It’s too bad, but we off loaded all of our crap in exactly this kind of sale in recent years so we don’t have anything to donate. We will work the day of the sale, and then give a contribution and we are done. It’s always possible there will be something at the sale that I want to buy.

and, just like our neighborhood association in our old neighborhood, the Hermann garden club has its garden tour the first weekend of June. While that’s a lovely time for gardens in general, for my gardens it’s bad timing because all the iris are gone and the lilies are not in bloom yet.

[SiouzQ.]

Thank you everyone for your input/suggestions. Food for thought. I should clarify though - I have not actually retired, in that I am not drawing social security or from my IRA. It's mainly that my schedule these days makes it feel like what it would be like to be semi-retired. I do have a monthly income that I need to maintain in order to pay my portion of the bills. My income varies depending on how much jewelry I sell each month from my three galleries, plus my few days a week gallery-sitting. Even though I am much more financially stable than I ever have been my entire adult life due to getting remarried, we keep our money separate. Mentally I have to have my own income stream coming in.

I think working three days a week is just about perfect. Then I have a day to run around and do the household errands, plus two days in the studio and then Saturday to hang out with my husband and do stuff. I feel like at this point I am a bit commitment-phobic about any serious volunteer work except local one-time things that come up.

One thing that I have always been meaning to do when I moved to New Mexico is to learn Spanish. To live here one gets quite the immersion every where you go, plus we have been streaming a few shows lately where the the dialogue is in Spanish and we have the English subtitles underneath. I have been picking up a lot lately, and I look up a lot of phrases I hear. Maybe I'll start doing Spanish Duo-Lingo classes. I could also get a language book to take to work, though as it gets warmer and the tourists start coming back (HOPEFULLY) I won't be so bored there looking for ways to pass the time.

[rosarugosa]

Herbgeek: I wish you lived closer; I think we could be friends.

I have been retired for almost 5.5 years, and I am honestly never, ever bored. At this point, I spend a lot of time at the pottery studio and I wish I could spend more, but I wasn't bored even before pottery, which I only discovered about a year ago.
I've been thinking about what occupies my days...
Life's little tasks - cat care, washing dishes, house cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, errands
Administrative crap - phone calls, scheduling appointments (I handle for me, DH and Mom)
Home projects - there are always things to be done around here and I usually have a project or two going
New-age Rosa - I meditate every day (only 10 minutes or so) and have been trying to expand my yoga from once a week since I'm currently doing a 30 day thing with online "Yoga with Adriene." I'm think I'll end up with a 3-day per week regimen, or something like that. I don't particularly love yoga, and I roll my eyes at the woo-woo chakra stuff, but I think the stretching, deep breathing, and physical activity are good for me.
Reading - I love to read books and I subscribe to several magazines that I read cover to cover
Mom stuff - this is kind of my unpaid part-time job, managing my mother's life as she becomes increasingly unable to do so herself.
Gardening - this will be a thing again now that warmer weather is coming
Walks - we haven't been as good lately about daily walks, but I'm trying to get that going again. I do get my 10,000 steps in every day though.
Pottery - we've been going to the studio 2-3 days a week, and recently I've even been trying some decorative techniques at home, since that doesn't require specialized equipment beyond the underglazes and brushes that I own.
The internet - this undoubtedly sucks up more time than it should, but I learn a lot and accomplish a lot online too, so it's not all about mindless scrolling.

[ApatheticNoMore]

I think working three days a week is just about perfect.

oh yea I'd be all about reduced work day hours or reduced work week. I have some doubts about retirement in full, but I would take reduced hours now if I could, or years ago. I am mostly work from home now though due to a set of circumstances, initially pandemic, now lack of office space.

[Simplemind]

I had always planned to retire at 55. If I had been happy I might have stayed but I was oh so done with the stress of supervising in a 24/7 operation. People told me it was too soon. People told me I would be bored. People told me I would love just hanging out and working in my garden. They were all wrong, not about retirement..... but about me. It was not too soon. I also knew that I was never going to be content just working in my garden and walking my dog. I appreciate a certain amount of structure while also being able to be spontaneous. I enjoy complex problem solving like nobody's business. I enjoy being connected while also being an introvert that likes projects on my own. So I worked to set up my next phase the year before I jumped. Volunteer work specific to working along with police/fire/medical has been great for me. I get to work on the flip side of what I did before with none of the negativity. I also went back to school to take classes in things that interested me. I have found the right balance of being busy enough but also able to step out of it with a moments notice without having to have it approved. I really, really enjoy working with people in a positive way. I also started Meals on Wheels with my husband who due to a stroke ended up retiring right after me. It was mostly for him to learn addresses and names etc. after his stroke. I ended up loving it so much I kept doing it. That is a great feel good job and we have become so close with many of our clients. They are almost like family. The pandemic changed everything about how my volunteering was done. Things won't go back to what they were. Better in some ways and worse in others. I still enjoy it and as we say...... it is what is keeping us on top of things and on our toes in the community.

[Teacher Terry]

I have been retired for 11 years and have worked part time for 8. I started testing clients again in January and really love being busy again. I am working depending on referrals 5-10 hours a week. I tried volunteering but it had many of the same issues as working. I could see meals on wheels being fun but gas is so expensive here.

I have helped 3 friends stay in their house for a few years so that took a lot of time. I have made 4 friends in my building and we do things together plus I see my regular friends weekly.

[SiouzQ.]

As of yesterday I have decided to take a break from silversmithing. I had a special order ring I needed to complete; I managed to do it but all at once the realization about the pain in my arm and shoulder (also the old pain in my wrists and side of my hands is getting worse again) just finally culminated into me being okay with stopping for awhile. So I cleaned up my bench and walked away. The past few weeks I have been toying mentally with the idea of retiring silversmithing at the end of the year but lately I don't think even limping along like have been is feasible any longer. I have a doctor's appointment next week at any rate. I need to decide what to do (if anything).

I think for the next while I am just going to focus on my part-time job, reading, and attempting to work my garden (however, the chronic pain I live under is making that so much harder). My knees are screaming at me, my lower back and hip hate me but I can't just give up and lie in bed all day. I have been interested in taking up painting, so this might be the time...

[Teacher Terry]

Sorry to hear that you have so many physical problems. Maybe with rest your wrist pain will improve.