kitten
7-22-11, 2:07pm
You guys are smart and you help me see things in perspective - would love to get your input on this.
I work in an artsy field, and I recently interviewed a guy who wrote and directed a one-man opera that premiered in my town (I'll call him Josh). The show was amazing and really impressed me, as did the actor-singers who starred in it. It was just a beautiful, exhilarating thing and I was very interested to meet the guy who conceived and put together such a wonderful performance.
So we had a nice interview, and it turns out Josh is kind of a Renaissance man: he's a former actor, a voice coach, an improv teacher, an author of a singing-method book, a Ph.D (in what I can't remember), and a wanna-be film writer. So we did the interview and he sent me a handwritten thank you note - first one I've ever received. A couple months later he came back in town and told me he and his wife are planning to relocate here. He wants to have lunch. There was no hook (as they say in news) for a second interview, but I thought it would be fun to have lunch with the guy and network with him. Never hurts in my biz, you know.
So we have trouble finding a restaurant - the first one we walk into smells like a toxic cleaner, so we're on the street looking for something. I see a restaurant called the Captain's Inn, and he wants to go there. My heart sinks, because just the day before, hubby and I had been in there and gotten terrible service. The server was slow and pretended not to see us, and when I asked for a house wine, she just barked at me that they don't have house wine. No helpful suggestions or anything. So hubby and I said we'd dine elsewhere and left.
So as we're sitting there at the same place, I'm telling Josh this story about hubby and me storming out just the day before. I tried to be light-hearted about it, get him in on the joke or whatever. So the SAME EXACT server comes over, and I'm all Oh $hit. Anyway, I was pleasant and so was she - she gave us some frickin' EXCELLENT service actually! Josh apparently felt bad for her, kept watching her with his big soulful eyes and telling her what a great job she was doing. When we left, I joked with him that he'd changed her whole life (this is the kind of language his clients use, apparently, after experiencing his workshops).
So next day he emails me and we're chatting about possibly collaborating on an arts project, which I'm eager to do. And then something weird (sorry this is so long): He says, and this is verbatim from his message:
***
BTW: did I mention that I received an email from our server the other day? Here's what she said:
I noticed that you were at a table a local celebrity who once stormed out when I provided less-than-excellent service. That event drove me right into intensive psychotherapy because I finally recognized that it had a serious character defect of making people wait. And I'm a waitress!!! My therapist told me that I'm one step away from being institutionalized. OMG. When I saw her again the other day I was petrified. If you noticed, and I'm sure you did, I couldn't even hear the compliment you paid to me. I was so scared! I'm sure she is really a nice person. I am finally admitting that I'm the one with a serious problem.
***
I kind of freaked out - wasn't sure what Josh wanted me to think of this, or why he was sending it to me. When on earth had he and the server exchanged emails? I never left the table, and neither did he. I wrote him back and said: Look Josh, that part about me storming out? It was YESTERDAY! She can't have been in "intensive psychotherapy" over me just since yesterday. I added that I hadn't insulted or assaulted her in any way. We just informed her we were leaving, and we split.
So Josh writes me back:
***
Well, this is a longer story than I can go into right now.
Suffice it to say......
wait a minute.....
someone's pounding on the door....
OMG..... It's the server!
And no, I cannot give out her name.
It has to do with Dr/./patient confidentiality. I can't say any more.
I hope you "get it."
And do NOT leave anything at the restaurant. That would make her CRAZY.
Gotta go.
***
This last arrogant little note from him made me so mad I almost vomited. I couldn't believe it. I still can't! WTF? Why the haughty mystery over who she is? The only reason I asked him for her first name is that I thought he was implying I should go back there and apologize to her, which I was actually thinking of doing. But no! Josh's instructions are to NOT leave anything at the restaurant, because that would make her CRAZY! Why is he all-capping me? And how does he have this special relationship with her from just yesterday? And why is he ganging up against me with this random person that I had an incident with that he didn't even witness? And the fake mystery about, oh woo hoo, doctor-patient confidentiality? Like he's suddenly her therapist?
The whole thing took my breath away and I'm hopping mad. Anyway, he keeps emailing me about the project we were supposed to start collaborating on. I don't want to get within ten feet of this freak ever again, but I don't know how to respond to his note. What would you suggest?
And I'm still curious about his motives. I don't know why he sent me this stuff. I'm wondering - is he mentally ill? Is he just a self-important jerk who fancies himself a healer, someone who can fix people wherever he encounters them? Is he showing off - to me, to her, or what?
He's outta my life, but I'm just wondering how to think of all this. It has massively confused me.
I work in an artsy field, and I recently interviewed a guy who wrote and directed a one-man opera that premiered in my town (I'll call him Josh). The show was amazing and really impressed me, as did the actor-singers who starred in it. It was just a beautiful, exhilarating thing and I was very interested to meet the guy who conceived and put together such a wonderful performance.
So we had a nice interview, and it turns out Josh is kind of a Renaissance man: he's a former actor, a voice coach, an improv teacher, an author of a singing-method book, a Ph.D (in what I can't remember), and a wanna-be film writer. So we did the interview and he sent me a handwritten thank you note - first one I've ever received. A couple months later he came back in town and told me he and his wife are planning to relocate here. He wants to have lunch. There was no hook (as they say in news) for a second interview, but I thought it would be fun to have lunch with the guy and network with him. Never hurts in my biz, you know.
So we have trouble finding a restaurant - the first one we walk into smells like a toxic cleaner, so we're on the street looking for something. I see a restaurant called the Captain's Inn, and he wants to go there. My heart sinks, because just the day before, hubby and I had been in there and gotten terrible service. The server was slow and pretended not to see us, and when I asked for a house wine, she just barked at me that they don't have house wine. No helpful suggestions or anything. So hubby and I said we'd dine elsewhere and left.
So as we're sitting there at the same place, I'm telling Josh this story about hubby and me storming out just the day before. I tried to be light-hearted about it, get him in on the joke or whatever. So the SAME EXACT server comes over, and I'm all Oh $hit. Anyway, I was pleasant and so was she - she gave us some frickin' EXCELLENT service actually! Josh apparently felt bad for her, kept watching her with his big soulful eyes and telling her what a great job she was doing. When we left, I joked with him that he'd changed her whole life (this is the kind of language his clients use, apparently, after experiencing his workshops).
So next day he emails me and we're chatting about possibly collaborating on an arts project, which I'm eager to do. And then something weird (sorry this is so long): He says, and this is verbatim from his message:
***
BTW: did I mention that I received an email from our server the other day? Here's what she said:
I noticed that you were at a table a local celebrity who once stormed out when I provided less-than-excellent service. That event drove me right into intensive psychotherapy because I finally recognized that it had a serious character defect of making people wait. And I'm a waitress!!! My therapist told me that I'm one step away from being institutionalized. OMG. When I saw her again the other day I was petrified. If you noticed, and I'm sure you did, I couldn't even hear the compliment you paid to me. I was so scared! I'm sure she is really a nice person. I am finally admitting that I'm the one with a serious problem.
***
I kind of freaked out - wasn't sure what Josh wanted me to think of this, or why he was sending it to me. When on earth had he and the server exchanged emails? I never left the table, and neither did he. I wrote him back and said: Look Josh, that part about me storming out? It was YESTERDAY! She can't have been in "intensive psychotherapy" over me just since yesterday. I added that I hadn't insulted or assaulted her in any way. We just informed her we were leaving, and we split.
So Josh writes me back:
***
Well, this is a longer story than I can go into right now.
Suffice it to say......
wait a minute.....
someone's pounding on the door....
OMG..... It's the server!
And no, I cannot give out her name.
It has to do with Dr/./patient confidentiality. I can't say any more.
I hope you "get it."
And do NOT leave anything at the restaurant. That would make her CRAZY.
Gotta go.
***
This last arrogant little note from him made me so mad I almost vomited. I couldn't believe it. I still can't! WTF? Why the haughty mystery over who she is? The only reason I asked him for her first name is that I thought he was implying I should go back there and apologize to her, which I was actually thinking of doing. But no! Josh's instructions are to NOT leave anything at the restaurant, because that would make her CRAZY! Why is he all-capping me? And how does he have this special relationship with her from just yesterday? And why is he ganging up against me with this random person that I had an incident with that he didn't even witness? And the fake mystery about, oh woo hoo, doctor-patient confidentiality? Like he's suddenly her therapist?
The whole thing took my breath away and I'm hopping mad. Anyway, he keeps emailing me about the project we were supposed to start collaborating on. I don't want to get within ten feet of this freak ever again, but I don't know how to respond to his note. What would you suggest?
And I'm still curious about his motives. I don't know why he sent me this stuff. I'm wondering - is he mentally ill? Is he just a self-important jerk who fancies himself a healer, someone who can fix people wherever he encounters them? Is he showing off - to me, to her, or what?
He's outta my life, but I'm just wondering how to think of all this. It has massively confused me.