View Full Version : Families eating out
Last night we had one of our rare dinners out. At the restaurant there were two families, casually dressed. This wasn't a special dinner out or anything. One of the families, dad and three teenagers were occupied with a book and a cell phone or something.
They all ordered burgers $13 each and a drink $3 and some dessert $5. So I am thinking the bill was just a bit less than $100 with tax and tip. For what? A meal they kinda lliked, but no big deal.
How can families spend that kind of money on such an ordinary day?
Maybe they have tons, but still it seems like so much cash.
They might have been on holiday and I am not trying to judge the family, just wonder how often this goes on.
Comments?
Simpler at Fifty
8-9-11, 2:21pm
I think it goes on often. If you watch any TV shows about budgeting, eating out is one of the higher amounts. And I get that. When we were first married we ate out 3-4 times a week and after a month I figure it out and was astonished. That was 7 yrs and 10 months ago. It takes organization to make a menu and shop for all the ingredients. Most people (not here) do not make/take the time to do this.
We decided to make a menu each week. DH shops once a week. We go out once a week usually on Fri or Sat night. We stick to our menu which is 90% 'made from scratch' food.
I think it goes on often. If you watch any TV shows about budgeting, eating out is one of the higher amounts. And I get that. When we were first married we ate out 3-4 times a week and after a month I figure it out and was astonished. That was 7 yrs and 10 months ago. It takes organization to make a menu and shop for all the ingredients. Most people (not here) do not make/take the time to do this.
We decided to make a menu each week. DH shops once a week. We go out once a week usually on Fri or Sat night. We stick to our menu which is 90% 'made from scratch' food.
This is what we do as well. Make a list, shop, make dinner from scratch. We only end up eating out once every few weeks. Last month we didn't even do that.
Maybe its how you were raised? Growing up, my family only ever ate out for special occasions.
Mrs. Hermit
8-9-11, 4:58pm
I know folks that only eat at home 3 times a week. Not 3 DAYS a week, 3 TIMES a week. That seems really odd to me, but I think there are many people like that. When we were looking for housing, I was surprised at the gargantuan houses with tiny kitchens. Realtor said not many people cook anymore. I would think the collapsing economy would force people to eat at home to save money, but judging from the incredible number of restaurants and take-away places, the trend doesn't seem too diminished yet.
Yeah--what's with the tiny kitchens? Usually located, for all practical purposes, right in the living room. Ugh.
Eating out on a regular basis is expensive; I used to do it all the time when I worked, as a reward for cheerful servitude. Now, we scout ethnic restaurants offering tasty, reasonably priced lunches and enjoy every bite. Even at my most profligate, I've never liked spending lavishly on restaurant food. A hundred dollar burger dinner would give me hives.
We don't eat out very often - maybe twice/month - and when we do, we don't go to places like that - way too expensive, and the food is far better at home. And no matter where we eat, I never order a beverage, and we usually don't order dessert, or if we do, it's one item to be split between everyone at the table.
My parents eat out very frequently now. I don't like to see it, because they park themselves in different areas of the house to eat, and my mom is overweight and needs to eat healthier. But it's the state of their house that drives them to it . . . uncovering the stove to use it would be a feat, and clearing a food prep area as well. Sad, but that's their individual situation.
I was thinking the same thing though on our recent trip. It must be really, really expensive to travel with children. They take up space on planes, trains, busses, etc., and also need food in their bellies. I can see why the good ol' American camping trip is the route so many take for their vacations with their families.
This summer we've been loosening up a bit re: eating out - in regards to health and money. It's been probably some type of restaurant meal about every 3 weeks. And we've gone for ice cream a couple times and had some junk food at the rodeo. It feels like so much - almost to the point of too often, so that it doesn't feel as much like a treat. I just checked the numbers and for this year, we're averaging just under $50/month on eating out. This also includes coffee shops, which we do much more often.
I can't believe how much other people must eat out and how much they spend on it. We do spend a lot of money on groceries but nothing compared to what it would be if we ate out more than the 1-2 times a month that we do.
I think a lot of things go into the constant eating out. Some people have long commutes, and after a full day of work and quite awhile on the road, cooking is the last thing people want to do. Some families, especially with teens, have a lot of activities going on. When I was growing up in a rural area, all those activities took place in the afternoon but now many of them are in the evening to accommodate working parents. Some just can't muster up the energy it would take to stock the kitchen/plan meals/cook/clean-up. Some have family members with a variety of tastes or dietary needs, and it's easier to go someplace where everyone can order for themselves instead of trying to find a meal to please everyone or force uncooperative kids to play nice (see exhausted). Some people just plain don't like cooking, or don't think they can learn. Obviously, all these barriers can be overcome, but if you don't already have good habits around cooking at home, it can be really hard to get started.
I will be honest, I almost never cook a real meal during the week. By the time I get home, I am exhausted and hungry and achy and the last thing I want to do is chop vegetables. Now personally, I heat leftovers, or I have several very simple meals that go together fast, or I keep a few convenience products around. But I can see that if I had a family, it might be very tempting to let others do the cooking.
We go out perhaps 2-3 times per month, always to small, privately-owned places that serve something special I can't make well at home -- usually ethnic food or pub food like fish & chips & really good beer (I don't have a deep fryer and hate the mess)
If we go over that frequency, it starts to feel less like something special, and I don't want that to happen. It IS special for someone to cook for and clean up after you! :)
I'm kind of puzzled about all this eating out, too. We have a proliferation of shows on television about cooking (presumably things that can be done in the home kitchen) but very few if any of my friends and family actually cook. And the kitchen gadget stores seem out of control, again in seemly disporportionate scales to what people actually prepare at home. (Although I'll admit I do love browsing in them!)
My DH and I usually eat out once a week for Friday lunch and maybe once a month we'll go out with friends or family. I like to eat out, especially ethnic cuisines, but if I go out too often, it loses the special feeling (in addition to just being too darned expensive).
We eat out close to four times a month, and it usually puts me over budget. I like the idea of eating out, and I like to go grab something small for myself at a coffee shop and read a book or write. My kids, 9 and 11, subsequently like to go out to eat, but I always end up frustrated. They finish quickly, don't eat all their meal -- which is usually expensive in my eyes, and then are ready to leave. Yet we still do it once every weekend or so, thinking it will be a fun thing to do as a family, or a good way to end a trip to Albuquerque or downtown. "While we down here, let's just pop in to the pub!" It always sounds more fun than it turns out to be. I should just stick to the solo coffee shop visits, but that feels selfish. At least, though, I feel like I get value for the money I spend.
I love to go out for meals! It's one of my favorite places to spend extra $$. Today I took a college student out to lunch to hear about her college experiences, and we had a fabulous 2 hours together at a locally owned diner that serves super amazing organic food. My husband & I have a rotating series of places we go, ranging from $10 a person to $50+ a person. The latter is once or twice a year! Mostly birthdays.
We both love gourmet food & food from cultures different from ours. Malaysian, Vietnamese, Portuguese, French, Caribbean, etc. Yumm. And good wine too. <sigh> this would be my biggest expense if I had unlimited funds. We often go to a local ale house for beer & conviviality. It started 10 years ago when our kids had dinner with their mom every Wednesday. We'd head to the pub for a grown-up evening of great food & beer, and be present to just each other. We've gotten to know other regulars over the years, and developed friendships with one of the servers, who now owns her own business & just had a baby. We get tons of value for our money; good food & drink, new culinary experiences, socialization, a date together, and someone else does the work!
We also both cook well, and daily. My husband grew up in a gourmet family, and his sis is a chef - she did our wedding dinner & cake for 100 people, out of our kitchen, and in 3 days. For $500. We bought the food - she did the work. We're talking a 5 course meal. It was astonishing. Most of our cooking gear - and we have a lot - is from Goodwill, except the appliances (mixer, blender, food processor, espresso machine). I find superb tools there - whisks, spatulas, the 5 graduated colander sizes we have, & even really good knives that just need proper care. My entire set of Revere ware came from an exchange, and I got it for free...
We're blessed in Seattle to have access to Farmer's Markets every day of the week, an awesome food co-op, and our garden. We eat 90% organic, and all of our meat is organic & locally raised. I cannot eat food from so-called regular stores any more, it just tastes bad to me. I feel incredibly lucky to have access to the bounty & quality here. It's an incredible privilege.
iris lily
8-11-11, 11:48pm
We seldom eat out although this city has fabulous independently owned restaurants. I love them and there are any number that I'd go to at the drop of a hat.
In fact, one of my resolutions some years ago was to go out more often (pretty anti-simplicity!) because in this economic climate I wanted to support my favorite independent restaurants. I didn't do very well at this resolution because we seldom get out, about 1X every 2 or 3 weeks.
DH's customers give him annual gifts of $100 restaurant coupons and we barely get them used up in time. I'd not kidding when I say we get multiple coupones, one year we had 4 of them (though all were not for $100.) I have to mark on the calendar to use them up, and these are to reasonable restaurants in the city that are easy to go to, it's not like they are miles away or are some weird cuisine. But speaking of that, I love foreign cuisine and we can usually eat for under $25 including tip if we stay away from desserts and drinks.
Really, it makes me sad as I sit here thinking of all of the fabulous little restaurants we've got that I don't visit often enough! Oh, I remember--the last time I was responsible for bringing appetizers to a potluck, I stopped at the Nicuraguan place down the street and bought empanadas. They were good and were a hit! I have to do that more often.
We rarely go out to eat, this due in part to, one, eating out is expensive, and two, DH, along with the older kids appreciate quality home-cooked food. I find whatever I make at home tastes better than restaurant prepared food (any day), and at home we all know what goes in and how the food is prepared/handled.
What I like about having older kids and a husband that all enjoy food, is I get off-the-cuff restaurant menus thrown my way at least twice a week where someone will say to me, "mom, can you make this, or can you make that for us". But the most rewarding thing of all related to eating at home is when someone says to me, "mom, this is way better than going out"!
Fortunately, (or not at times) My little provincial town doesn't offer much in the way of good places to eat, so I don't go much. Most seem to be franchises. Lots and lots of Mexican, but Mexican isn't that much of a treat since it's so easily duplicated at home. The Chinese are very American/Chinese, no Viet Namese, no Greek. Lots of sushi. But I'm not a huge sushi person. So, the temptation doesn't arise too often.
I think that this is pretty common. When I was younger and single, I ate out a LOT. Like sometimes 3x a day. I didn't know how to cook.
These days, my friends eat out or order in several times per week. My coworkers eat lunch out daily (I used to do that too!) My parents eat out all the time (we never ate out as kids). I think a few things have happened: there are more restaurants now than there used to be. And people are busier.
My mom didn't work outside the home until I was 12. There was no money to eat out, and she had time to cook. I work 40+ hours a week and my husband travels a lot. However, my eating out is pretty limited. I get free lunch at work about 3x a month. My husband eats out when he travels. He also eats out lunch a few times a month. I think it's often a social thing. To catch up with friends, lunch out is the way to do it.
Just look at my last week. Fiesta time in SB, my friends wanted to meet at Fiesta for lunch. So I met them. I ate before I went (I was hungry at noon, we met at 1:30 pm). Then on Friday, my friends from my old job wanted to meet for lunch at a pizza place. I ate first, then met them. Partially for financial reasons, but also because I'm trying to lose 15 lbs (9 more to go). There are ALWAYS ample opportunities to eat out. I have to work really hard to avoid it. Today, after my triathlon training, the group had breakfast. I just got coffee. I should have eaten something, but my options were $9 for a big plate of pancakes or eggs, bacon and toast, or nothing. So I chose nothing.
And cooking can be tiring. After triathlon training, grocery shopping, making lunch, playing with my kid, I cooked dinner. Pasta with roasted cherry tomatoes, roasted peppers, roasted onions, and cheese. Carrot soup with fresh ginger. That's a LOT of chopping, pureeing, roasting, boiling....we've got a few days of leftovers, but I can't blame people for not wanting to deal with that mid-week.
Not to say I don't like eating out. I LOVE it. Love ethnic food. But I just can't maintain my weight if I eat out more than a couple of times a month.
Eating out is one temptation that we do too often. But food is my husband's professioin and cooking our hobby, so we almost always enjoy the experience. We also cook at home a lot and always from scratch so it is a time-consuming affair. Even with all the planning in the world, there are nights when we both get home bone-tired and there is no way we can cook. Not to mention that these endless days of 105 temperature make it hard to cook. I think we spend about $125 a month on eating out so it could be worse - could be better. I don't know either though how so many afford to eat out when there are more than two.
we used to be fairly frequent with dining out when we lived in the states. we would go to qdoba 1-3 times a week, or panera bread, and the two of us would have a nice meal (lunch or dinner) for under $15. So yes, $15-45 per week, but we did have the money.
in moving to NZ, we dine out about once a month, if that -- and it's $30-40 for the three of us. We don't buy for DS off the kid's menu because most of it is not really to his tastes. he prefers "grown up" food and portions. So, it's very expensive. But, we're on such a budget that it's really not possible for us. so we prefer to eat at home -- the food is just as good or better.
when we do go out, it's for food that we cannot make ourselves -- which is to say, thai food.
Wouldn'tcha know, after saying how infrequently I ate out, I've eaten out 2x in 2 days.
Wildflower
8-14-11, 4:19am
We enjoy eating out a few times a month at local inexpensive ethnic restaurants. We feel good about supporting local business too. We don't spent too much since we're empty nesters now. Pretty cheap for just me and DH these days.
I definitely don't know how families can afford to eat out often like many do now. It is a huge expense and something we rarely ever did while raising our family.
Wouldn'tcha know, after saying how infrequently I ate out, I've eaten out 2x in 2 days.
And we just grabbed brunch out at the beach today on a whim.
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