another month-ish before I know what is happening

[Zoe Girl]

Before Christmas break I heard that due tothe change in grant funding there would be changes in my job and job description. I have heard a couple things. One is that i may need to reapply (actually I don't), that my job may not be guaranteed (I have heard I am okay) and that we have no idea what is happening to the new money, how it will be directed, etc. pretty nerve wracking even though I was told not to worry (since my ex was laid off I am responsible for insurance for me and the children, not cheap at $300 a month for kids but we would not be okay without it).

Sooo, mid February we should know what is happening. I am staying chill. The camps director talked to me about doing a special job this summer. Several people go from site to site weekly and do the activities. It is high energy, hig creativity and pays pretty well considering this is all on top of my regular pay. She is also on the inside of every conversation so even though she does not gossip she told me not to worry at all about my position. I have backed off total worry but I also have been working on just simple stability. I want the job to be under control enough that I can look for writing time, or time with kids, whatever.

Okay just had to share, I will let you know when I know. And send good vibes that it may mean a very good opportunity with eventual better pay!

[Bastelmutti]

~ ~ ~ ~ Good vibes!!!! ~ ~ ~ ~

[razz]

~ ~ ~ ~ Good vibes!!!! ~ ~ ~ ~

+1

[lhamo]

+1

+2

[Selah]

+3 :)

[Zoe Girl]

Thank you all, mid-process it looks like I have the potential to do some really cool things

[Zoe Girl]

so I am transitioning out of my schools and supervising my staff this week. I am leaving projects half done and hope the new people will be able to get staff to keep up with those projects. Both of my remaining schools are going to a community school model with only one person running all the after school programming, both child care and extra activities. One school is likely going to have some issues, they really clash with the site coordinator, well we all do but I do a lot of schmooze in the middle. 2 people have told me not only will they not work for her (and they don't know what is coming) but also that they will only work for me. Good compliment. My greatest talent appears to be not making things worse.

I have a job still, not sure always what it will be. Scary and has the potential for opportunity. I am in non-anxious anxiety, is that anticipation? The buddhist thing is really helping. 25 years of sporadic meditation cannot be discounted I guess. I will miss everything I have had, I wanted stability longer, but I also know I cannot cling to the kids and staff and schools I have had.

The biggest current issue besides training and being trained is that I am exhausted. I know it is not physical however the emotional work of dealing with such a transition seems to be getting to me. I went from 22 staff, 4 schools and 250 kids last year and have stepped down to no permanent schools.