View Full Version : Tricking Those Tricky Teenagers
My "kids" are grown now, but I thought it might be fun to start a thread about how we can "trick" our tricky teenagers. Maybe some who are going through the "fun" teenager stages with their kids can pick up a few pointers.
When my daughter was learning to drive there was a licensing rule that any new drivers were only allowed to have one passenger in the car with them. My mother's instincts told me my daughter was driving more than one of her friends at a time, so I decided to get a bit sneaky.
I snapped all the seatbelts in the back seat shut. If daughter had more than one friend in the car, they would have to sit in the back and that would mean they would have to open up the seatbelt to wear it. Well I caught her the first time. I went down to my car and noticed the back seatbelts were undone. I immediately went upstairs and reprimanded her for driving more then one person at a time (but I didn't tell hew HOW I knew *S*). I then went back to the car and resnapped the back seatbelts. Well if she didn't do it AGAIN!!!! Now I was hopping mad and she was grounded, etc., etc. Again, I resnapped the back seatbelts and AGAIN she broke the rules. Now hubby jumped in and there was an all out war.
She finally started to follow the rules but when she got older she wanted to know "how" I knew she was breaking the rules? Apparently she and her friends tore the car apart one day looking for a camera or microphone or something that would give them away but they just couldn't figure it out. I told her what I did and she just stared at me with her mouth hanging open. It was so simple and didn't cost me a dime but I knew every single time when she had more than one passenger in my car. :D
I have a relationship with my teenage daughter that doesn't require "tricking" her. Simpler all around.
Well, maybe laying the groundwork for it wasn't :-)
I have a relationship with my teenage daughter that doesn't require "tricking" her. Simpler all around.
Well, maybe laying the groundwork for it wasn't :-)
:+1:
Unfortunately all teens and parents relationships are not perfect. If anyone says they trust their teenagers 100 percent, they are living in a dream world.
Simplemind
1-19-11, 9:43pm
Oh Hattie....... I love that story :0)
I am in the "trick them" category. For better or worse it seems that my teens will try things that I don't imagine. I wasn't always one to make the right choices but I was overall a good kid. My parents really didn't know most of what I did, but some things they think I did I actually didn't do. I also recall having no idea of the impact and consequences of my actions. It is pretty normal for even great parent-teen relationships.
So I have done a few things to make sure I catch the things they do. I like the seatbelt idea, great one. I had a situation where I happened to find middle daughter and boyfriend and saw waaaay too much of dear boyfriend. So I was very calm, calm and collected, and found a screwdriver and removed the door to her room and the guest bedroom. Uh huh. Teenage girls really do not need bedroom doors under all circumstances. Hey I am not stupid about what they are doing but I am not gonna make it easy at 16!
With older daughter she had an older boyfriend. She did the right thing and asked me about seeing him, introduced me, got permission for group dating and all. Then one day I had evidence that she had snuck out at night (muddy side yard and foot prints and mud on boots, not too hard). So I told her I needed his cell number and license plate. I called him and said if she was ever not in her bed between midnight and 6 am I would call the cops with his license plate number. He had an old beater car so he was often stopped for some light being out or minor things. He asked what if they were outside talking and I responded that I did not have time to check outside for her, and that was that. As the final point I told him to come to dinner when the grandparents visited that week and dress decent. So he did, wore a nice shirt and used his manners. They were together 3 years and he was respectful to me the whole time.
I guess my stories are more about consequences, still good ones.
Unfortunately all teens and parents relationships are not perfect. If anyone says they trust their teenagers 100 percent, they are living in a dream world.
I call it my 'bubble of denial' and my kids are not supposed to pop it!
Yes, my parents didn't trick me, but I was very good at tricking them. ;)
To them I was a quiet, good, sweet thing. While I generally was not horrible, there were things I did but never told them... it was just easier for all of us that way.
http://www.simplelivingforum.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=161&d=1294388580
Go Zoe! Took the door off. That's hilarious.
I know they are going to do things that I don't want them to do. It's part of the developmental tasks of adolescence. But I am very clear with them about what possible consequences for their actions are and that I will let the consequences occur.
And if they do something stupid and then use their creative brains to fix the problem and I never find out about it, I am OK with that.
What if OP's kids had figured out it was the seatbelts and just stopped using them?
Well they wouldn't stop using the seat belts, would they? They would just snap them back together afterwards.
I know they are going to do things that I don't want them to do. It's part of the developmental tasks of adolescence. But I am very clear with them about what possible consequences for their actions are and that I will let the consequences occur.
And if they do something stupid and then use their creative brains to fix the problem and I never find out about it, I am OK with that.
What if OP's kids had figured out it was the seatbelts and just stopped using them?
I'm loving this thread! My kids are 12 and 10 and at this point, I can't imagine them doing anything too sneaky...but I sure did when I was a kid, so why would I expect them to be any different?
I laughed when I read about taking the bedroom door off. Wish I had thought of that when my kids were teens. GENIUS!!! *S*
Another thing that happened to daughter. We had a curfew which she occasionally "streeeeeetttttttccccccccceeeeeedddddd". Anyway, I worked full time and, while I tried to stay awake until she got home, many times I fell asleep and then in the morning wondered if she had made it in on time.
At Christmas I have a stuffed toy moose head that I mounted outside our door. He was motion sensored and would (very loudly) say "HO HO HO. Merrrry Christmas" and then break into singing "Santa Claus is coming to town" when anyone walked by. Well, daughter came home late one night and good old moose started up singing which woke me up and she was caught in the act.
Daughter learned if she ducked down, she could avoid setting him off. When I discovered this I decided to put him in the hallway. Hubby and I just broke up laughing the first time she snuck in late and good old moose stared up with his "ho, ho,ho", etc. Daughter screamed in shock (she hadn't seen him in his new location) and she was busted. We talked, but she still pushed the curfew limits and so I would move my friend the moose around to different locations. It was hilarious as she tried to sneak into the house looking here and there for the evil moose. :laff: She was always glad when the Christmas decorations came down.
The Rest of the Story: Daughter ended up marrying the boyfriend and they now have a son of their own. I still have that moose - I smile every Christmas when I put him up. *S*
One thing I have learned is that a good sense of humour goes a long way when you are raising kids. *S*
We required an open door - all the way - when our kids had a BF or GF over. And, it's important that teens not tell their parents everything. They are establishing their identity in the world. They need their own life!
@Hattie - maybe you could save that Christmas toy and gift it to her when her son turns 13...
@Hattie - maybe you could save that Christmas toy and gift it to her when her son turns 13...
Oh I do LOVE that idea!!!! Thanks - I'm going to do that. *big smile*
Well, taking the door off will prevent them from having sex in that room, but it will not likely prevent them from having sex.
I have a friend who had a dog that was very attached to her. The dog would always sit by the window until she came home, and bark and wag his tail when she came in. She could never come in past curfew because the dog would give her away.
I have a friend who had a dog that was very attached to her. The dog would always sit by the window until she came home, and bark and wag his tail when she came in. She could never come in past curfew because the dog would give her away.
hehehe....Aren't dogs the BEST!!!!! She must have hated that. *grin*
These posts are too funny. I am taking notes for when I have teenagers! ;-)
I took the door off my sons room also for reasons other than to prevent him having sex in there. It was like the last thing I could take away form him.
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