View Full Version : Down-sized or Decluttered with Kids?
davidmcowan
2-4-12, 4:00pm
I've been on the forum for years and as our little one gets a little older and we have another on the way I've been finding it harder and harder to keep things "simple".
We moved out of (and rented) our first house (900 sq. ft.) and into a house that is bigger (1800 sq. ft.) and in a neighborhood where my wife can walk or bike to work. We now have a little running room for the toddler and an extra bedroom for visitors. I wouldn't say our house is cluttered but I do feel like the extra space has drawn extra stuff. As a family we try to be mindful of too many toys, too many clothes, too many "doohickeys". That said, I have a lot of bikes, a lot of tools (we rehabbed the first house and I do most of my own work on the second house) and cookwares (my wife loves to cook).
Anyway, I don't know that there is an answer but if any of you have experiences with your definition of simple changing with kids.
Please share, I think I either need some advice or some camaraderie.
Not going overboard on clutter is tough with kids. One important thing is to pack up (or get rid of) things as kids outgrow them. Takes longer when you have more than one, though.
We're closing in on the end of childraising, and are likely to leave our large-lot suburban house after our daughter goes to college.
I'm trying not to buy big things any more, and throw things away as I buy new ones. Accumulating tools is an issue for me as well.
Welcome, and hope you enjoy the forum!
David McC---every stage of their (children, adults) developement requires different "stuff." When you are 6 months old you do not need much...and when you are 80 you do not need much. Managing the middle is key. :~)
I think that is is important to have some regular assessment of items in the home, whether it be home remodel tools or cooking tools...and each worker may have their own time frame for assessment.
Me? Single mother to three teenagers--I count my stuff every June and that helps me keep only what is useful to us NOW.
You can view previous counts of household items at my blog (link below)
You and your family will work out a totally personal definition of "the right amount of stuff." You may look to others for ideas, but only your family can figure out what the right amount of stuff for you all is.
Best of luck in the adventure. ;) I love these kind of assessments.
Keeping things simple with kids is definitely a challenge. And I totally get the cookware thing, too -- one of the huge selling points for our current place was all the storage space in the kitchen.
The website Apartment Therapy and its sub-sites (one for food/cooking called The Kitch'n and one for families with kids whose name escapes me) are great resources for ideas and strategies for making do with limited space. They have regular posts on effective small spaces, etc. Fun to browse the archives.
If you have a place where you can store things out of sight (attic, basement, garage, etc), one strategy that has worked for many people here is to have a kind of "toy library" approach where you rotate sets of toys in and out of the play area on a regular basis. Helps keep things fresher for the kids (when you swap out an old set of toys for the new ones it is almost like you have brought in a set of entirely brand new stuff, even if they have seen them before) and also minimize the amount of stuff you have readily available in the house. You can do this with books, too.
Another strategy many have used here is to focus on accumulating experiences rather than stuff. So for birthday and holiday gifts, you can encourage people to give you a family membership to a local children's museum, aquarium, zoo, etc. rather than a bunch of toys.
For clothes, there was a post here a couple of weeks ago about "uniforms" even for kids whose schools do not require them. Especially when kids are young, this can be a great approach -- you basically just get a few sets of very similar mix and match type clothes in fabrics that are easy to care for. This is obviously not going to be as cheap as thrift store buying, but it does simplify things greatly (including laundry management).
I think it is also not ridiculous to think about upsizing a bit as your family grows, or changing to a different house with a more family-friendly configuration. Aside from the kitchen, one of the other things I really love about our apartment is that we have a separate "playroom" for the kids stuff. We have a TV in there (and will probably soon be moving the Xbox over there so we can get our living room back), and most of their toys and games are in there. we have a big shelving unit along the wall and tubs for different types of toys. And a separate area for art project stuff. Having all their stuff in one place makes it much easier to manage -- we don't end up with a bunch of toys scattered between the living room and bedrooms, etc. Bedrooms are then for sleeping and homework, and playing happens in the play room. Works pretty well for us. If there is a way to configure your current space so that there is a separate area for play (even if it isn't an entire room), that might be worth experimenting with.
lhamo
David, this is not a suggestion, just a funny observation. So speaking of children and clutter, why is it that infant clothes have pockets on them sometimes? What in the world is a six-week-old supposed to be carrying? LOL! Good luck on keeping your home clutter-free!
So speaking of children and clutter, why is it that infant clothes have pockets on them sometimes? What in the world is a six-week-old supposed to be carrying? LOL!
Credit cards, of course. (http://www.payjr.com/)
I would have thought cellphones!
I have found decluttering to be very challenging with children (currently 10, 13 and 20 yrs old), and am often envious of those who can simplify without all the child-centered 'stuff.' I'm currently trying to declutter - again - to downsize to a smaller home, and found myself thinking that 70% of what I have is 'keepsake stuff' related to my children - school papers, drawings, a few baby blankets & clothes - or their own 'precious things' - craft projects, books, artwork, stuffed animals, 'collections' etc. As I don't buy/collect much for myself, and don't buy much, it is a mystery how so much has accumulated over the years. (That said, I must admit that having 3 careers, with their own sets of 'important papers and resources' has added to the number of boxes!)
So, I am resolved to doing my best, to modelling a de-cluttered life for them, and counting the years til they can 'inherit' all their stuff, lol! (And I do believe that living in a smaller place will require all of us to let go of much of what we have.)
Always love to hear suggestions by others - and learn of blogs - about decluttering with children!
We try to stay pretty on-top of the decluttering because, as others have mentioned, needs change pretty quickly and what was truly useful a year ago may not be now. We are about to have our fifth child, so if we weren't vigilant stuff could easily take over.
We have tried to stick to toys that have a lot of play value over a long period of time. We have a nice wood play kitchen, a nice wood dollhouse, a train set, some babydolls and beloved stuffed animals, legos and other stuff like that. If toys aren't used regularly they go. Most of the toys we have are used at least a couple of times a week, but honestly, the kids' favourite thing to play with is each other. I've mostly stopped buying books also. We go to the library all the time.
I'm the poster who was mentioned as making the move towards uniforms for the kids, in the sense of easily mixed and matched clothes. Clothing management is the one area I've had trouble with, as we do have a lot of people here with clothing to manage. I'm aiming for simple, rather than cheap in that area.
fidgiegirl
2-12-12, 10:50pm
Any updates, David?
davidmcowan
2-13-12, 4:24pm
Thanks for the bump fidgiegirl,
I don't expect it to be an overnight transformation but an adopted philosophy from here on out. We don't buy a lot of toys, use the library, and value experience over things. I'm not new to simple living but I am new to this context and pretty consistently struggle with how to make it happen and ensure my kiddo(s) learns and grows appropriately while I am able to experience the decreased stress and more mindful living I've accomplished in the past by being "decluttered".
Love the ideas and feedback provided and always looking for the next one that is going to bring all the pieces together! :~)
I'm not new to simple living but I am new to this context and pretty consistently struggle with how to make it happen and ensure my kiddo(s) learns and grows appropriately while I am able to experience the decreased stress and more mindful living I've accomplished in the past by being "decluttered".
I think one good thing to keep in mind is that kids' needs for learning and growing are actually pretty easy to meet, especially when they are young. Little kids brains are totally wired for learning.
Sometimes it helps me to make lists of simple, easy things that can make kids happy and give their little brains something to chew on that don't involve much stuff. It sounds like your kid is little.
-Taking a walk
-Reading a book together
-Making and playing with playdough, ooblek, goop, slime and other fun messy stuff
-Playing with water and water toys or make a sensory tub with beans, rice, popcorn or other stuff
-Making instruments from household stuff. Pots and pans, beans and tupperware shakers and stuff like that.
-Cut cheese into little blocks and let them build with cheese and crackers or pretzels.
-String cheerios onto a necklace.
-Make an "I-spy" bottle by putting small toys in a recycled water bottle with some rice.
-Paint or fingerpaint. Finger painting with pudding is fun for little kids who are young enough to eat paint.
-Go outside and play with rocks and sticks
-Make and float paper boats
-Cut pictures and words out of magazines and make collages.
-Bake together
-Play in the mud
-Leaf rubbings
-Horseplay
-Pillow fight
You are going to get the hang of decluttering with kids in no time. It just takes a while to get your feet under you.
Gardenarian
2-13-12, 5:14pm
I occasionally go through my daughters (she's 12) stuff and pack a whole lot away in boxes. if she hasn't asked for it in a couple of months, it goes off to Salvation Army.
I wish I had learned early on to keep birthday and Xmas gifts to a minimum...
Our number one element is keeping stuff out.
Our number two element is decluttering regularly -- i "hide" things that he doesn't seem to be playing with, and then give them away (or sell them). I found that if I asked him or talk to him about it, he gets very possessive. Anything that he is using or playing with, obviously we hold on to. BUt the amount of his toys are one small basket of hard toys (blocks, cars, etc), and one medium basket of soft toys, then his books (we also use the library, but he also has his own book), and then our musical instruments, and finally his puzzles. I keep these organized with a daily tidy.
For his clothes, I do monthly declutters for sizing, putting away any good stuff to sell/give away to the school for their fundraising.
The hardest part is **** from school. Pardon my language, but an intense amount of needless paper comes from school. His first semester of paintings were sent to us and it's a massive portfolio. They are nice, but really, WTH? Do you need to keep 400 paintings? I don't think so. But, now that the kid knows they are here, it's "don't get rid of them mommy, no!!!!!" Seriously? They are in a box and you don't think about them. Why can't i just get rid of them? 3.5 yr olds. so irrational.
I asked the teachers just to write a digital report for me of his progress, and that we'll go through his artworks at the end of the season at the parent night and pick the ones that we would be interested in keeping. Then the kindy can recycle/whatever the rest. I hate all this ridiculous and needless paper.
The hardest part is **** from school. Pardon my language, but an intense amount of needless paper comes from school.
:) Oh I so totally agree with you! We homeschool now, but when the kids were in school it was INSANE how much paper came home.
The paper from school has substantially decreased this year. DD is in 3rd grade.
As far as artwork goes, I told DD from about age 3 on that not even professional artists like everything they make. She decides what goes in the recycling bin and what we keep.
A few other playthings that use stuff that's already in the house:
- the sorting game. DD loved this when she was about 2-3 and it's good for dexterity. Mix up about 6 different kinds of dried beans in a container, and let the child sort them into a muffin tin. Obviously, for children who won't try to eat the dried beans.
- themed play kits. Take a shoebox and fill it with items that fit a theme, e.g. office (could use a briefcase to hold everything - pad of paper, pens, etc) or veterinarian (child-safe thermometer, rags torn into "bandages," etc)
- dress-up basket. Old laundry basket, various clothes and accessories that are sourced as hand-me-downs or from yard sales. Hours upon hours of fun and creativity.
- real dough. Making pizza or bread? Make some extra dough and let the kids shape it into their own loaf or pizza or whatever they like.
- cut out snowflakes from paper.
- make a fairy house outside.
- use various small boxes taped together to make a doll house. Cut out doors, windows, etc, and decorate with markers, stickers, fabric.
surfingbodi
2-18-12, 11:13pm
great post and great responses! kids change your world and teach you compassion as well as patience, no doubt about it! here is what works for me: boxes, garbage bags, and somewhere to put these things out of sight. so kids never want to get rid of anything and while we need to teach them how to do so, i find that twice a year i go through when my kids are not home and put everything that is on the floor or in the bottom of the closet or piled up on bookshelves into bags and boxes. i will pull a few items from this such as cash and valuable small things but in general it all goes. i place these somewhere out of the house or general traffic and make the rooms look nice and sure that there is stuff there that the kids are using/wearing mostly at that time. at first they are excited about how great the house and their room looks, then they ask eventually where this or that is and i say "in the boxes, bags, whatever i have put the stuff in" and say they can get it if they want to but everything else has to be put back into the bag/box until they have time to put everything away neatly. ultimately what happens is i get rid of about 50% of their stuff this way as anything still in the boxes/bags after 3 - 4 months goes to good will or yard sale. another thing i do twice a year around this time is the yard sale where i put up signs and just start dragging things out of the house as i spring/fall clean. almost everything is negotiable but the things i am really fond of are priced too high for them to sell. i take everything that is left at the end of the weekend and drop it off as a donation. the money i/we make we use to do fun things that weekend that we would not normally do so this gets the kids involved.
anyway, this has been working very well for me though i still have about 100x more stuff than i would if it were just me :)
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.