View Full Version : Reformed Clutterbugs--are you out there?
Hi, folks:
I'm seriously considering a major decluttering project. I would say our household is moderately cluttered--depending on what room you are in. Both of us are "to blame," if I may use that term--but honestly, I think "he who shall not be named" is more likely to clutter than I am.
That said: Are there any truly reformed clutterbugs on the forum? If so, how did you reform your evil ways? (Remember "Young Frankenstein," when they found that big book that said, "How I Did It"?) What worked for you? What did NOT work for you?
I've tried bribery, begging, threatening, "we really need to set aside 15 minutes a day," setting an example (I"m not sure it gets noticed), and I'm frankly tired of having a home that's embarrassing both inside and out, where I can't invite friends, where I dont' even feel comfortably taking photos for my blog or my journal. It's just plain UGLY. Not only is it cluttered...it's half painted, uncurtained, old and deteriorating, rented (and cheap) so I can't pay for too much cosmetic stuff.
How can I get and STAY motivated?
Open to suggestions. Also, what can you do if you've got family members who "talk the talk" but don't "walk the walk."
Not exactly a reformed clutterbug but I do much, much better than I used to :)
It has been at least a 10 year process for us to declutter and learn to really just plain pick up after ourselves.
You'll purge as much as you can the first time around but then you'll see that you really don't need to keep this item or those things as you
walk through your home again and again. Then you'll move and see more that doesn't need to be a part of your life. It's an ever evolving,
ongoing process so don't get frustrated. The purging helps to find homes and space for those items you really need to keep around.
The easiest way I found to help with the general clutter around is to pick up after myself. So much more difficult than it sounds. Still
working on perfecting this =) Everything must have a home, a place the daily clutter belongs.
Clearing my clutter away showed how much clutter left that really belonged to my husband.
That helped because then he could clearly see what he needed to do.
He also does have a spare room specifically for his stuff in which I'll dust/vacuum a bit but don't say anything about how he keeps it.
Don't get too frustrated because I think it really is a skill, some are born to it while others such as myself need to really, really work hard just to be average :)
Still working on it all myself, so I'll be watching this thread - lol. As for "helping others" in the same household declutter - I've given up! I'm at the point where I will try to declutter myself and, hopefully, actions will speak louder than words.
My husband was a major clutter bug, but not anymore. We started by drastically decluttering one room in our home. I told him I needed one room that was a completly clutter free zone. He agreed (saw it as a compromise) and I choose the living room. He helped out, relocated some things into storage that he wasn't ready to get rid of and moved others off to their new homes with the good people at the Boy Scouts annual yard sale. I simplified the room, removed everything from it, gave it a fresh coat of paint, washed curtains and mini blinds and carefully moved back in only those pieces of furniture I truely loved and wanted in the room. Turned out he loved that room and realized it was a great space to really relax in, so when I asked if he'd like to do another room he agreed. We did the kitchen next... Then onto the bedrooms and eventually our shared office/studio space.
Even his garage is neat and organized. Though he still has a lot of things that go unused. One step at a time. I'm hoping to get him to par it down to just what he needs/uses this summer.
My house was always a bit cluttered until the first time I was laid off and had some time to actually go through it all. I did a drawer or cabinet at a time. Seeing an immediate difference is what kept me motivated. I sat down and thought through what items should be where, and got rid of excessive duplicates or added duplicates for things like scissors so I wasn't wasting time going from room to room. I found Julie Morgenstern's book Organizing from the Inside Out to be the best book out there- a lot of other books give techniques that may or may not work depending on your circumstances, but Julie's book made me think about how I do things so the system designed would work for ME.
My hub puts things away to optimize storage time while I put things away to optimize retrieval time. He will just find any empty space to put something, where I try to put things in a logical place so I'll be able to find them again when I need them. This was actually a recent revelation. Now that I know this, I go to extra pains to explain to him why I put things where I do, so if he doesn't do things my way at least he understands why. My way of doing things is as foreign to him, as his way is to me.
Consistency and Containment -- that is what has worked for us.
For example, DH attracts paper. He loves bits of paper. He attracts so much of it. I usually clear my papers at the end of the day -- so I keep the ones that are useful. I have a notebook -- I'll recopy things into my notebook which I carry around and keeps all of my notes in order.
Dh likes to have piles of paper that he doesn't organize. Then he gets angry that he can't find his notes on a given topic. Then, I force him to go through his piles, and he finds it and then sorts it into his pile-basket.
Back in the day, his piles were everywhere. Over the years, I started to contain the piles, and if he didn't go through them by a deadline, I would pitch the whole pile. Doing that once was enough to get him in gear! LOL
Right now, he has a pile basket. He can put anything he wants into that to make his pile. When the basket overflows, he has to go through it. 90% of the box is nothing-papers that we recycle/compost. The rest he needs and puts where he can use them and/or where they actually go.
I let him get into a bad-bad habit by not having the closet functional for him. The closet is the drop zone -- it's walk in. So you remove shoes and put them on the rack, coat on the hanger, bag on the shelf, then the keys in the bowl, mail gets sorted (into mail and recycling), and then he could use his pile basket. The closet got in disarray, so he wouldn't go in there which meant that shoes would end up in the entry hall (which is narrow so it would be hard to get in and out of the house), coats put on the chair in the kitchen, pile on the kitchen table (which made it impossible for anyone but DH to eat there), bags in the walk way, keys getting lost, etc.
So, yesterday, I reorganized the closet so that it's useable. now he's back into that pattern. We did a tidy of all coats, shoes, and bags, as well as that infernal pile at the kitchen table! Now the kitchen table is clear again (we have: 1. vase with succulents; 2. bees wax candle; 3. inspirational quotes book that we use for some contemplation/etc in the am) and all three of us can sit at the table (and if i remove the book of quotes, we can fit 6 around the table.
This house is so small (about 600-650 square feet) that we have to stay organized or we'll just be pushed out of the house. LOL Lots of decluttering. Having minimal space helps keep clutter down!
For me it was doing the inventory of YMOYL, and it was several passes through the stuff, as Dhiana pointed out. I would go through everything once, then sit on the remainder for a few months, and stuff would start to call out "you don't need me . . . . . . " and I would go through it again, and repeat the process.
In the new house I feel we are at a point of needing to do it again, but most of it is DH's, so it will have to wait until he is ready. But he will be . . . just not now. Luckily, on this point, we ARE on the same page.
My mother is a borderline hoarder, so I would say one thing with family members is to NOT let them talk you out of that they need to keep something that is yours, or influence you with their reasoning. If you don't want it, out it goes. There are lots of tricks that you may have seen on the boards in the past . . . our most successful is the outbox, a running box of giveaways that gets picked up every time there is a charity pickup. I realize not everyone has these; when we didn't, I would run it to Goodwill periodically.
Another thing for me personally that has helped has been to implement Getting Things Done's two-minute rule. Do it now, and get it done. If it takes more mental energy to hold in your head "clean off that table" than to just do it, then it's better to just do it and let it go out of your mental space. I find it freeing.
That said, I need to go clean up some stuff for my friends coming over tomorrow :)
Good luck, Lib!
Moving frequently helps declutter. Marrying a non-clutterer also helped me, as he keeps me focused and demands that I justify bringing new stuff into the house. This has helped my own thinking process about purchasing things, so it has helped to eliminate clutter by generating less of it in the first place. Watching "Hoarders" repeatedly was extremely beneficial and motivating...I will never see "stuff" in the same way again.
Also, doing YMOYL and determining to get out of, and stay out of, debt was enormously beneficial. Now I still do that "how much life energy will this object cost me?" calculation, so I buy very little. Identifying my own gazingus-pin weakspots was enlightening, too, and I'm sure I've saved thousands of dollars over the years (and lots of landfill space) by not buying them anymore.
Yes, good luck to you!
Moving frequently helps declutter. Marrying a non-clutterer also helped me
Moving frequently cured me, too. I just tired of packing, unpacking, finding space for, and dusting or maintaining stuff I didn't use between moves. Why carry it around?
But I do have to say that I think the tolerance for clutter is a personality trait much the same as introversion/extroversion, patience/impatience, and spender/saver. Ask yourself how hard it is to change those qualities about yourself (or even if you want to) and you may see why it's so hard to get a clutterer to change. I'm not saying it can't happen. Just that everyone hoping to set a quiet example for their loved ones is ... well, you're likely to be at it for a long time (cf. the thread in Family Matters about spendthrift relatives).
I'm also curious about people who get rid of a partner's "stuff" without their okay. I certainly can understand how such behavior can stick in someone's craw (my ex- resembled a comet in the way she put items down somewhereanywhere when they no longer had her attention). But, again, asking yourself how you would like to be on the receiving end of someone tossing your stuff might lead to a different course of action. Our solution? Put her stuff in her "room", to which the door could be closed and which she could leave as messed up as she wanted it. Maybe not everyone has a room, but everyone should have a corner or even a decent-sized basket.
None of this behavior changes while it is a problem for you. It only changes when it is a problem for the perpetrator.
Thinking about this topic a lot. I think for me it's an issue of getting into a habit. We don't have that much stuff. There's a few areas that I need to go through and ask DH about what I can get rid of. But our main problem is not putting stuff away or cleaning on a consistent basis. I always feel too busy, which makes no sense since we have no kids or pets, I work 35-40 hours a week, over half at home. I have time to randomly surf the internet for an hour, but I don't clean or de-clutter for even 5 minutes a day. It just annoys me all week then I spend 20-30 minutes on the weekend. What I want to do, starting tomorrow, is do 5 minutes a day of cleaning/decluttering, other than dishes or laundry, which are done as needed. Just need to form a habit.
In the last few months I went from not flossing (I'm bad, I know) to flossing daily - just because I forced myself to get into that habit. Have been getting better about eating and exercise too. This is the next challenge. I think the best time is after work, before super. I will set a timer and just find things to do until it rings. Maybe I will need to increase that to 10 minutes, but will start with 5. When we get a house, I don't want the clutter to just expand to fill the space. I want a bit more room so we can hide the craft/project stuff away, and have the rest of the house nice. Need to start practicing now, while the space is smaller. Once I get started doing 5 minutes a day of cleaning, maybe I will add 5 minutes a day of paperwork/money stuff/computer projects. It would be nice to not have that stuff on my mind as well.
That is my plan. I wrote it on my white board.
My current motto is: "If it's boring AND useless don't do it." Need to remind myself and stop doing mindless internet surfing instead of improving my life.
Clearing my clutter away showed how much clutter left that really belonged to my husband.
That helped because then he could clearly see what he needed to do.
He also does have a spare room specifically for his stuff in which I'll dust/vacuum a bit but don't say anything about how he keeps it.
Don't get too frustrated because I think it really is a skill, some are born to it while others such as myself need to really, really work hard just to be average :)
I know it's one of the principals of recovery/AA that if one person changes, the other person has to change in some way, too. It's just inevitable. Maybe I just haven't made a big enough dent in my stuff for it to be noticed by hubby.
Thank you for your encouragement. I need to remind myself that we are all not the same in many ways--even keeping house!
Still working on it all myself, so I'll be watching this thread - lol. As for "helping others" in the same household declutter - I've given up! I'm at the point where I will try to declutter myself and, hopefully, actions will speak louder than words.
Agreed! I will just work on myself for now.
The funny thing is, my spouse is really good at organizing/arranging/fitting things into spaces and places. My spatial relations gene does not work well. If I ask him to help me organize, say, my craft area, he's really great at doing that! But parting with stuff? Not so good. Neither am I. I confess that I have some craft stuff that I have not used in more than 2 years. It's items for coating collages with beeswax. I even bought an appliance to melt the wax, which he very nicely calibrated to the correct temp for wax. I still want to try doing it--and I feel guilty because he fixed this appliance to help me. But I keep forgetting I have the wax! Isn't that weird?
I was going to keep replying to individual posts but thought this might be easier.
First I want to thank everyone for their input and suggestions. These are really, really helpful. Especially doing the "one drawer at a time" thing.
As far as each of us having our own area--I'm afraid that our stuff tends to spill over into the other's area. For e.g., I have a craft area, but quite often I work at the kitchen table, so I keep a few rolls of washi tape, glue sticks, and a paint brush or two on the table. I frequently apologize for this. As someone mentioned, everyone's got a different level of tolerance. The difference between us is: He doesn't seem to MIND if I do this. As long as the stuff isn't in the way of eating, or making someone fall down, etc. On the other hand, his stuff tends to be larger than mine, mechanically related (wires and tools) and harder to "stash" if company were coming over. He apologizes frequently for his stuff leaving "his room" but it doesn't change a lot. I know he's trying...but I think it's overwhelming for him. And there IS a lot more to keeping house than I ever thought. It's hard to just keep up with the "regular stuff."
Re: "Hoarders:" Never watched it--but I've seen some photos on the Internet of cluttered houses and I actually start feeling ill when I look at them. My head starts to spin. We're not THAT bad...hopefully never will be.
My goal is to throw out one thing a day. I surpassed it yesterday. I composted some moldy fruit (ugh), shredded some old papers, and put some stuff in the recycling area. :D
awakenedsoul
6-16-12, 5:35pm
I've never been a clutterbug. My mother was an excellent housekeeper, so I grew up in a clean, organized home. My main mantra is, "No messes!" Today I cleaned up a small area outside that I had left untidy. It had some seed trays, a trowel, several empty pots, and gardening gloves. It wasn't horrible, but it was bugging me. It only took me five minutes to clean up and put away! That's always what I realize when I procrastinate...it doesn't take nearly as long as I expected! I had some ballet barres sitting in my bedroom for almost a year after I closed my business. I finally just moved them into my shed. It took 5 mins. I can't believe it took me so long! Now I have a clear passageway to the bathroom. It's getting to the point to where I like decluttering, because it looks so nice when you're done. I see it as a form of self care. Also, I get negative and impatient in a messy, disorganized environment. It's also much easier to clean.
Some of my neighbors have patios and driveways filled with junk and clutter. It's sad. They seem to be workaholics. I agree with the above statement about technology. I find it much more rewarding to create a beautiful home and garden than to surf the Internet. It takes time, care, and energy. Homemaking is an art, but it's very rewarding.
try2bfrugal
6-24-12, 5:25pm
We went to a yard sale yesterday looking for a gently use bird bath. The house ended up being a hoarder type house where everything was laying around weathered, chipped and broken. The owners were asking absurd amounts of money for everything because they didn't understand most of it was junk they were going to have to pay someone to haul away. They were basing their prices on what they had paid for the yard decor decades ago. You could tell the grounds had been quite nice at one time but were too much for them to keep up and everything had fallen into disrepair. We had been interested in simplifying prior to yesterday, but afterwards we weren't sure we even wanted to add one more possession to our lives, not even a new bird bath from a discount store.
Seeing the clutter on such a massive scale at the yard sale house made me realize how much we need to declutter even though it is a much smaller issue for us. I started boxing things up for the used books store and Goodwill as soon as we got home.
Maxamillion
6-24-12, 7:00pm
I grew up with a parent who was a hoarder (just like what you see on TV), and everything I know about cleaning and organizing, I taught myself. I still struggle a good bit with it but have slowly gotten better over the years. I can't stand a lot of clutter and still have dreams sometimes where I'm stuck back "home", sometimes even sorting through and bagging up all the junk that was in the houses we lived in and trying to get it cleaned up! Those dreams are kind of annoying lol. Moving a lot over the years has really helped me get better too. Finding a home for everything helps, even if it's just a plastic bin (I'm fixing to buy another small one for all the mail cluttering my table and keep the mail in that till I decide what to do with it; I can get the small clear plastic bins with lids for $1, they're especially great for organizing craft stuff).
I just recently started doing another downsizing with my books, which are one of my biggest weaknesses. It's still tough but as I was going through them I kept thinking about when I moved last year and how much I hated moving all those books. I also think about how great it feels to have less stuff. Some of them I'll try selling online and some I'll give away to friends and family or Goodwill.
awakenedsoul
6-24-12, 7:47pm
That's great, Maxamillion. I did the same with my books. I sold most of them on Amazon. It was really easy. The rest I donated to the library. I almost never buy books anymore, since I can get almost anything from the library.
try2bfrugal,
It's really sad when it gets to that point. I am still surprised by how much time and work it takes to maintain a home and garden. It's definitely easier with less stuff!
I like to do a couple of clearing jobs each week. The other day I cleaned out my trunk of my car. It had all of my old dance memorabilia from the dance studio I closed. I brought it all in, dusted it off, and hung everything up in my cottage. It looks so nice, and there are so many photos of great people and happy happy times! Now I just have my jumper cables, spare tire, cloth shopping bags, and some stockpiled t.p. in my trunk. I feel so much better!
flowerseverywhere
6-24-12, 10:04pm
We have gotten rid of over half our stuff in preparation for a move- we are probably approaching 75%. DH was difficult at first, but I would make a pile and go through it with him. As time went on he became more willing to part with stuff.
Here is the good side of it. Every room in our house is so nice and decluttered, you can sew or do woodworking or cook without having to move anything. And as a plus if anything happens to us our kids won't be faced with piles of junk to go through.
I have no advice other than to clear maybe one room and see how nice it feels. It is great to hang clothes in a sparse closet, to eat in a kitchen that has clean counters and nothing on the table but your place settings. Or to go into your bedroom and see a neat bed, bureaus without anything on them and clothes neatly hung in a closet. It becomes infectious.
this is the first week in the last few months that I don't have half a dozen garbage bags to put out and a trunk full of donations. It feels great to know we made it.
try2bfrugal
6-24-12, 11:34pm
Flowerseverywhere, seventy-five percent is an amazing amount of stuff. We are just getting started on the whole preparing for downsizing process. I am looking forward to getting rid of all the junk.
flowerseverywhere
6-25-12, 8:04am
Yes try2b, it is an amazing amount of stuff. We tried to rehome as much as we could. I would put the word out what I had to get rid of and a lot was claimed by friends- some we sold for a small amount and some we just gave away. We sold over $5500 on craigslist over time, only a few items over a few hundred dollars. Sometimes someone would be picking something up they bought and end up buying something else. I have two college age neices and boxes of housewheres and lots of furniture went to them. Much went to goodwill and salvation army.
We sold a bunch of books, and donated bags of books to the library for their sale. All my cheap outdoor furniture was given away, we have some handcrafted adirondack wooden chairs we'll keep. All of our remaining furniture is high quality handcrafted wood that would be impossible to replace for less than a small fortune (and we love it), except for the spare beds that are on frames only. All of my kitchen plates, bowls and mugs are beautiful handmade pieces, as well as most of my baking items.
I had a lot of pieces of fabric and batting and last winter I made piles of quilts for the linus project. I tore the pages out of the huge stack of quilting magazines of any projects I might actually do, and brought about 24" of magazines down to a 2" binder.
We took pics of whatever we had left of the kids stuff and if they wanted it we took it to them. If not, out it went.
We also shredded tons of paperwork, you really don't need thirty seven years of tax returns, but it was fun to go through papers and see how much life has changed. We kept a box next to the shredder and took turns shredding.
All of our photos came out of the albums. We scanned all of them into the computer and made discs for the whole family of every single picture. So they all have copies and the originals fit into a plastic box instead of piles of albums.
So this was a huge undertaking but we did it. I will tell you , though, I will never buy anything new again after what we had to sell our stuff for.
shadowmoss
6-25-12, 11:05am
As far as each of us having our own area--I'm afraid that our stuff tends to spill over into the other's area. For e.g., I have a craft area, but quite often I work at the kitchen table, so I keep a few rolls of washi tape, glue sticks, and a paint brush or two on the table. I frequently apologize for this. ... He apologizes frequently for his stuff leaving "his room" but it doesn't change a lot. I know he's trying...but I think it's overwhelming for him. :D
Sounds like you both react the same way - apologize, feel guilty, and don't change. Clear your stuff off the table, and see if it motivates him to clear his stuff? Just a thought. As it is you are training him that just apologizing is all that is needed.
AmeliaJane
6-25-12, 1:05pm
Three of my four apartments over the last decade or so were very tiny. That helped keep clutter down, partly because there isn't much physical space, and partly because I learned a few years back that clutter makes small spaces look even smaller. Also, no flat surfaces! For instance, I don't have end tables, I have a very small coffee table, the TV stand is just big enough for the TV, the kitchen table is very small, etc. If I have flat spaces, things get stacked on them.
DS#3, who is 13 years old and now taller than the rest of us in the house, had not gone through his stuff since he was quite small. I told him I would buy him a new bed (that fits him) but in exchange, he had to go through all the stuff in his current bed, with captain's drawers. He went through all that and excited by the possiblity of selling his stuff for cash...also went through everything else that is his. He has two 18 gallon totes for stuff to list on craigslist or garage sale or donate.
It is pretty exciting to me to have my kids "get" this at such a young age. They see how little return on the dollar they get for what was spent. (DS#3 has a tub full of Legos, which probably cost $200-$300 new, which he received as gifts. He might get $20 for it now.) They see that our interests change over time and that cool stuff can be bought second hand when interest is high, used for years and then sold for about what they paid for it. Whew! They are so much smarter than me.
Not that they are perfect. DS#3 has to wait 5 days to get a new cell phone. The previous one was damaged during some horse-play with friends. To buy the cheapest phone today would have cost $180. Waiting 5 days means I can get a new one for free with a new contract. Poor thing has to wait.
I've been meaning to respond to this thread all summer, so am doing it now.
I'm the daughter of a major clutterer, and I have been trying to recover from my own clutterbug ways since I had to clean out my mom's house after her death almost 20 years ago.
Here are some things that have worked for me:
1. a timer - This idea came from flylady.net. Whenever I can make the time or when the clutter is getting particularly out of hand, I set a timer for 15 min, 30 min, an hour or whatever, turn on some baroque music (which I read somewhere helps build momentum, and it does!) and just do it. I also occasionally have what I call "decluttering retreats" where I commit to doing a large amount of decluttering (the max is about four hours a day, broken up into small increments) over a weekend or a week. It's amazing how knowing the amount of time is finite helps me deal because I know I will have permission to stop eventually. I also sometimes set goals like "I will declutter for a total of 20 hours in the month of May" and then break that up any way I want over the whole month. I've gotten rid of a lot of stuff that way.
2. This year, I heard of someone committing to getting rid of 365 things in 2012, and I decided to emulate that. I'm documenting my progress on 43things.com, and that's worked really well. As of today, I've gotten rid of 225 things. I don't count paper I recycle or stuff like that, but more like old clothes and books I'm giving away. I easily bring in 365 in any given year (and I count my daughter's things within that - she gets a lot of hand-me-downs), so this keeps me motivated to keep stuff going out the door.
3. I now keep two boxes in my daughter's bedroom which also happens to be where I hang up my clothes. One box is for the kids' clothes thrift store, and one is for the adult thrift store. Having the boxes right there really helps me remember to get rid of stuff. When I notice something in the closet I don't wear anymore or realize it doesn't fit or look good on me anymore, I can toss it right into the box easily. I do the same when I notice something of my daughter's has gotten too small. Then I pack the stuff into a grocery bag on the weekends and drop it off at the thrift stores.
4. Lately, too, I've been working on routines - making my bed in the morning, making sure things are put away each morning or evening, recycling junk mail as soon as it comes in the door. It's a three step back two steps forward process, but I think it's what ultimately is going to make the biggest difference
As far as getting your SO on board, I'd say if you can get him to try any of the above, he might see the appeal of it. I really do now like the feeling of getting rid of stuff. I always feel euphoric after one of my decluttering retreats because it just feels so much better to be in non-cluttered spaces. If you can find a way to give him just a taste of this, he may be on board.
Good luck!
I wanted to add one last thing: another thing I really need to work on is having "a place for everything and everything in its place." I know this is so obvious to some, but I still discover that some of the things lying around are lying around because I've never figured out where to put them.
Related to that is developing "systems" for things in the house - a way to deal with party invitations so you can find them when you need them, a way to deal with bills (pay them as they come in or designate a place for storing them and a particular time to pay them?). This is something else I have to work on.
Yes try2b, it is an amazing amount of stuff. We tried to rehome as much as we could. I would put the word out what I had to get rid of and a lot was claimed by friends- some we sold for a small amount and some we just gave away. We sold over $5500 on craigslist over time, only a few items over a few hundred dollars. Sometimes someone would be picking something up they bought and end up buying something else. I have two college age neices and boxes of housewheres and lots of furniture went to them. Much went to goodwill and salvation army.
We sold a bunch of books, and donated bags of books to the library for their sale. All my cheap outdoor furniture was given away, we have some handcrafted adirondack wooden chairs we'll keep. All of our remaining furniture is high quality handcrafted wood that would be impossible to replace for less than a small fortune (and we love it), except for the spare beds that are on frames only. All of my kitchen plates, bowls and mugs are beautiful handmade pieces, as well as most of my baking items.
I had a lot of pieces of fabric and batting and last winter I made piles of quilts for the linus project. I tore the pages out of the huge stack of quilting magazines of any projects I might actually do, and brought about 24" of magazines down to a 2" binder.
We took pics of whatever we had left of the kids stuff and if they wanted it we took it to them. If not, out it went.
We also shredded tons of paperwork, you really don't need thirty seven years of tax returns, but it was fun to go through papers and see how much life has changed. We kept a box next to the shredder and took turns shredding.
All of our photos came out of the albums. We scanned all of them into the computer and made discs for the whole family of every single picture. So they all have copies and the originals fit into a plastic box instead of piles of albums.
So this was a huge undertaking but we did it. I will tell you , though, I will never buy anything new again after what we had to sell our stuff for.
As someone who had to clean out her mother's very cluttered home, I just want to say if you have kids (or actually any younger relatives - those college-age nieces and nephews), this is an AMAZING gift to them - to deal with your stuff now instead of leaving it for someone else to deal with after you die.
My mother was very ill, so she just couldn't do it and I don't blame her at all, but I really admire parents who manage to declutter so that their kids will have less to deal with.
Great info EJ Chase. I can especially like #1...the timer really helps me too. Before I go to bed, I set the timer for 8 minutes or so, and in that time I put away and clean up.. and when the timer goes off I have permission to stop, or I can keep cleaning if I want.
Minx, I like your idea of doing eight minutes before bed. I've been trying to do at least 15 minutes a day, but have been thinking that maybe just 7 minutes in morning and evening would work better.
I had one more thought about frugalone's initial question that I wanted to add and then I promise I will stop. I've just been thinking so much about these issues.
It seems like decluttering is only part of the issue - the other is turning your home into a place that is aesthetically pleasing to you. I'm working on that too. What's worked for me in the past has been to clip and save pictures of homes I like and try to think about what I liked about those pictures and those rooms. And then I've basically experimented with copying the stuff I liked. I tend to like warm colors - lots of blues and greens and yellows - and I like books on the walls and carpets and hardwood floors. I managed to turn my last apartment, a studio, into a space I loved (when it wasn't cluttered!), and it was really fun figuring out what was pretty and inviting to me. When I did that, this apartment tour I found on line was my inspiration:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/happyjanssens/sets/72157600025082938/
But there are LOADS of books and magazines out there to give you suggestions - go to the library and get a bunch and start experimenting. It's a lifelong project and can be a fun one.
At the moment, I live in a house with my SO, our 18-month-old, and his two teenagers (they are with us part-time). We moved in here when I was eight months pregnant, and the house never really got set up because the baby came, and she has been our first priority. I think I'm going to try to work through the house room by room - just focusing on turning our bedroom into a room I love, then the hallway, etc. I imagine the first sweep through will take a couple years, which is fine. I hope we'll be here for ten or twenty years, and the other times I did this, I learned so much about what I like, so it's always interesting.
I do think taking the time to think about what makes the space around you feel warm and inviting to you is as important as decluttering. I sometimes wonder if I create the clutter because it feels warmer than a decluttered space with nothing pretty in it. So I try to put pretty things in right off the bat now (I bought a pretty yellow comforter and gorgeous flowered sheets for our bed, and they are still the first thing I see when I walk in the room), so when the clutter is gone, what's underneath will be satisfying.
I apologize for going on so long, but this has been some really good reflection for me on my own process.
EJChase,
So silly...don't apologize..it's all good info and helpful. I agree with you completely...once decluttering is done, it should be made into space that feels comfortable and inspiring to you. I think our living spaces should be our sancuaries....spaces we love to spend time in! I looked at your flickr inspiration...very cozy, creative yet simple!! I LOVE looking at pics for inspiration...some of my fave sites are remodelista.com, apartmenttherapy.com and pinterest. I've done a couple of pinterest boards as inspiration for me...to help me get to where I want to be even though I'm still in the decluttering and cleaning stages. My inspiration rooms are probably too sparse or lack too much color for some...but they feel air-y and light to me...and not much to clean or dust..hehehehee.
http://pinterest.com/blissfulmindy/minimalist-lifestyle-rooms/
http://pinterest.com/blissfulmindy/remodelista-kitchen-remodel/
I don't have too much stuff, but much more than I need. The other day I went to the library and reserved a copy of the book Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui. Over 200 reviews raved about it and I mentioned it at work today and one of my coworkers loves it. It deals with why you keep things and helps you let them go, leaving clear space in your life for new changes. Readers warn not to read it at bedtime because you'll get out of bed and start clearing junk!
The hard part for me is that a lot of my things are nice, not junk. Even if I don't want it anymore, I can't just give it or throw it away. I'll try to sell some of those things but would be happy to give them to a good home. And just thinking about the money I've spent on these things in the past.....ugh! And memories attached to the stuff (which of course will remain when the stuff is gone). I may take pictures of some things when I let them go.
The hard part for me is that a lot of my things are nice, not junk. Even if I don't want it anymore, I can't just give it or throw it away. I'll try to sell some of those things but would be happy to give them to a good home. And just thinking about the money I've spent on these things in the past.....ugh! And memories attached to the stuff (which of course will remain when the stuff is gone). I may take pictures of some things when I let them go.
Pony mom...I also struggle with the guilt of knowing how much I spent on something. Grrrr.... However, that has helped me tremendously in some ways because it makes me think more carefully about purchases. Have you found that to be the case as well? When I'm thinking of purchasing something, I do that thing where I must either LOVE it, use it regularly or need (basic living stuff) it....if it doesn't fit into once of these categories, it doesn't come in my house.
Minz, yes it does help. I can spend all day shopping and come home empty handed. There are many things I like, but don't have to own.
Once the stuff is out of sight, the memory of spending the money will be gone too....I hope.
Minz, yes it does help. I can spend all day shopping and come home empty handed. There are many things I like, but don't have to own.
Once the stuff is out of sight, the memory of spending the money will be gone too....I hope.
I hear ya. ...and if I am still thinking about something days later that I left behind, I ponder that it may be a good purchase and consider buying it. I left some Teva shoes recently that were 40% off. A few days later I went back and purchased them. I love them and need them. :)
EJChase and Minz, You know, you have some good points there.
I am really NOT happy with the house aesthetics. It feels more like a place we just moved into rather than somewhere we've been living 14 years. I painted a room 10 years ago, and have not put new blinds and curtains up in it. Why not? It's my "art room" and I spend a lot of time in there.
Perhaps I should start a Pinterest board with rooms I like. Or a journal/scrapbook. I do have a file folder with stuff from old magazines that I've had for almost 20 years. I guess I got discouraged and thought "I'll never have this, why bother trying."
Another thing I should confess to is that neither of us really likes to clean. So the place is frankly, dirty. I find it hard to want to dust when I have to go around STUFF to get to the stuff I need to dust!
:|(
fidgiegirl
8-30-12, 5:46pm
Another thing I should confess to is that neither of us really likes to clean. So the place is frankly, dirty. I find it hard to want to dust when I have to go around STUFF to get to the stuff I need to dust!
:|(
I hear ya!!
DH used to have TONS of vintage stuff decorating our teeny house. He dusted all of it, that was fine. But the vacuuming . . . he had stuff in every little nook and cranny - even on the floor - decorating the house. I HATED moving all those antiques to vacuum the tumbleweeds of dog hair all in and behind and around there. Finally talked him into paring down the items on the floor. :)
EJChase and Minz, You know, you have some good points there.
I am really NOT happy with the house aesthetics. It feels more like a place we just moved into rather than somewhere we've been living 14 years. I painted a room 10 years ago, and have not put new blinds and curtains up in it. Why not? It's my "art room" and I spend a lot of time in there.
Perhaps I should start a Pinterest board with rooms I like. Or a journal/scrapbook. I do have a file folder with stuff from old magazines that I've had for almost 20 years. I guess I got discouraged and thought "I'll never have this, why bother trying."
Another thing I should confess to is that neither of us really likes to clean. So the place is frankly, dirty. I find it hard to want to dust when I have to go around STUFF to get to the stuff I need to dust!
:|(
Hi Frugalone! One of the benefits of minimalism and decluttering is that you have less to clean and dust! Woohoo! Looking at pics and pinterest boards really inspire me...I think that's a great place to start to get some inspiration. Sometimes just minor changes...like painting, adding curtains or especially removing things you don't use/like really give the room a new feel and some warmth. I really think your home, or just a room or area in your home should feel like a sanctuary for you! Kind of like a quiet nook to retreat to. Best of luck to you ... keep us posted!
Yeah, Frugalone, I highly encourage you to pick one place in your house to make beautiful - whatever beautiful means to you (and discovering that is the fun part). One thing I think a lot about is "What do I see first when I enter this room?" and just trying to make that view really satisfying and pleasing - whether with a picture I love on the wall, a beautiful bedspread on the bed, great curtains, whatever.
I have a lot of work to do in my own home, but that is where I think I'm going to start - with just picking the 2 or 3 rooms that are the most important to me and making that "entry view" of each of those rooms, then every view in that room (e.g. in the bedroom: the entry view but also the view I have of the room in bed in the morning when I wake up) really pleasing.
Also, regarding cleanliness and dirt: hire a maid. Really. Even if you can only afford it twice a year or 6 times a year or whatever. I know it seems decadent, but for me, it's come to feel like I way I say to myself, "Hey, you haven't mastered this cleaning routine thing yet, but that doesn't mean you have to punish yourself for it. You are still allowed to treat yourself to a clean house." It's a really nice thing to do for yourself. Period. And it will give you a chance to feel how good a clean house feels, which will inspire to take those first baby steps to change the way you are living.
ejchase, there is no way I could ever hire a maid. My SO would go through the roof. Not to mention that the house is so cluttered that it would be pointless to hire anyone. They'd be unable to get to a lot of the areas that need cleaning. And, quite frankly, the place is so ugly in spots that I don't honestly know what difference it would make if it were clean AND ugly.
I know you can't make anyone else change...but I have had no luck at all "inspiring" my SO to get rid of old stuff. And there's only so much "sneaking" out of the stuff I can do. If I go too far, with larger items, it will be noticed and commented on.
I've gotten to a point where I'm afraid I just have to learn to accept it.
Though I don't want to.
My copy of Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui has arrived at the library and I've finished half of it this afternoon. I'm ready to go!
iris lily
9-25-12, 11:40pm
ejchase, there is no way I could ever hire a maid. My SO would go through the roof. Not to mention that the house is so cluttered that it would be pointless to hire anyone. They'd be unable to get to a lot of the areas that need cleaning. And, quite frankly, the place is so ugly in spots that I don't honestly know what difference it would make if it were clean AND ugly.
I know you can't make anyone else change...but I have had no luck at all "inspiring" my SO to get rid of old stuff. And there's only so much "sneaking" out of the stuff I can do. If I go too far, with larger items, it will be noticed and commented on.
I've gotten to a point where I'm afraid I just have to learn to accept it.
Though I don't want to.
You are the breadwinner, you are keeping a roof over his head, you can bloody well claim some space in your own home as clutter free. Notice I said "some." It may be part of a room--start with that. It doesn't matter how ugly a place is, lack of clutter makes it better. Well, with me it does, anyway.
A hurricane is the most effective way to declutter any life and I got that with Katrina. I really did have too much stuff and I was exhausted from taking it when I moved and constantly cleaning and organizing it. So when I was hit with Katrina, I tried not to dwell on the priceless stuff such as pictures and childhood mementos. I decided to just move forward with my clean slate and lead a simple life which I had always desired anyway.
Now that I live in a 600 sq ft house, I feel that everything that takes up space in the house, needs to justify its existence. There is no room for large useless items. I remember being envious of nuns because their rooms were limited to a bed, desk, wastebasket and a closet. So simple to keep neat! I find that cluttered houses are never really cleaned, they just rearrange the clutter. I feel SO good after a day of getting rid of clutter and love the new found space.
I feel that the more you have, the more you have to clean, the more you have to lose, the more you have to take care of and be responsible for. I want simplicity in my life. Having so much stuff really does stress me out.
But I do confess that I have a collection of fabric because I do sew. It doesn't take up room and I might not use it for years but if I like it and it is on sale for a dollar, I am going to buy it and there WILL be a time when it is just what I need. I like having fabric on hand because the nearest fabric store is 40 miles away and I get my most creative urges at 2 in the morning.
I also have quite a collection rocks and nail polish. I am in the process of creating a rock garden and the grandkids and I love painting shells and smooth river stones with nail polish (its better than paint for that purpose). I pick up rocks wherever I go. When people go on vacation, the souvenir that I want is a rock. That's cheap and easy to find.
I further admit that I love to read and have some books that I can't part with, as well as the library of kids books that I have for the grandkids.
Bayouboy is guilty of clutter as well. He has an abundance of hunting and farming magazines, hunting supplies for every season, tool, farm implements, horse stuff, just stuff, stuff, stuff, everywhere. It drives me nuts! The paperwork, receipts, magazines and important papers pile up around his chair until I finally have enough. I'm no fool, I know he refuses to clean it up himself because he doesn't want to exert himself and he wants to be able to blame me when he can't find something, lol! He wants me to do all the work and take all the blame if something gets misplaced. I'm on to him, I know how his mind works!
I bought a label maker and assessed our organization needs and got busy. In a small house, creative organization is so important. Everything needs to have a place. I have the little stack-able plastic drawers in my little house all neatly labeled.
One thing I do to cut down on clutter is to always have a box/bag where I can put items to be donated. I don't want to throw them away but don't need then so a donation box is perfect to catch things that are no longer useful to us. When it gets full, I drop it off. This keeps a constant flow of things going out of our house.
I am definitely enamored with totes and creative storage solutions. I love looking at tiny house and seeing how they solve storage problems. In my 196 sq ft guesthouse I had BayouBoy build a double bed platform high enough so that 3 plastic totes could fit under it.
I'd love to hear everyone's creative ideas for storing things.
You are the breadwinner, you are keeping a roof over his head, you can bloody well claim some space in your own home as clutter free. Notice I said "some." It may be part of a room--start with that. It doesn't matter how ugly a place is, lack of clutter makes it better. Well, with me it does, anyway.
I agree. Pick one place to make someplace you love to be. It may take a year or longer - to declutter, to experiment with different decorating ideas, to figure out what would make it feel good to you, to get it where you want it - but pick a place and work towards it.
Please don't give up. One of the things that inspired me to start working on my clutter issues many years ago was the death of my mom, who had big issues with clutter. It wasn't so much because it was so hard to clean out her house (though it was - my siblings, admittedly, did most of it). It was that I realized how compromised her quality of life was by being weighed down by all that clutter.
I still struggle with this all the time, but I've made a little progress.
I had a very similar experience when my mom passed away. I knew her house was cluttered, obviously, but had no idea how bad thing were until I had to clean it out after her death. It took days and days of horrible work. It really shook me up, and I promised myself I would never put my kids through what I had to go through!
Here is a great resource that has really helped me declutter my home and my life:
Click here to get a FREE copy of the "How to Make This Year THE Year" report. (http://www.valannehudson.info)
Hope you get as much out of this as I did - I totally recommend it! :)
I won't give up. Thanks for the encouragement!
I agree. Pick one place to make someplace you love to be. It may take a year or longer - to declutter, to experiment with different decorating ideas, to figure out what would make it feel good to you, to get it where you want it - but pick a place and work towards it.
Please don't give up. One of the things that inspired me to start working on my clutter issues many years ago was the death of my mom, who had big issues with clutter. It wasn't so much because it was so hard to clean out her house (though it was - my siblings, admittedly, did most of it). It was that I realized how compromised her quality of life was by being weighed down by all that clutter.
I still struggle with this all the time, but I've made a little progress.
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