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View Full Version : I think I'm onto something. . .



Zoebird
5-25-12, 8:08pm
So, well, where to start. Here goes the exegesis!

As I've shared before, Dh and I basically practice buddhism -- mostly zen meditation and the most simple practice of trying to be good people and follow good ethics/morals. We do also study on a fair basis Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind, but otherwise have no practices per se. No holidays, and no community.

Before DS was born, I really wanted to find a "church home" for him. Most people were pushing christianity on us, but DH and I have long departed from those shores, and going back just seemed false. This is not because christianity is bad. It is simply not what we believe and practice.

The difficulty in finding a buddhist home is that most of them are designed for childless people (either people without children, or people with grown children). Those people who practice and have children "take turns" going to meetings and the like, so that the other can care for the child during that time.

While it's perfectly acceptable to have a home practice as well, the simplicity of zen practice is hard for a little head to wrap around. It is simply "sitting there."

DS and I were talking about several of his friends, with whom he's spent some play-date time. His new friend Ravi's grandmother lives with him, and she is hindu. She took the boys through her normal rituals, and DS really enjoyed that. On Friday, we were invited to his friend Lenny's house for their sabbath (jewish) rituals. DS is curious about church, and on Wednesday, the local minister of the Anglican church spent the better part of half an hour explaining everything in the church and answering questions about Jesus and the cross.

What struck me is a desire to have him more grounded in buddhism. I talked to a friend of mine who is Kadampa buddhist (a "culty" sect related to tibetan buddhism currently considered a rogue sect by tibetan buddhists who follow the dalai lama), connected with me with a couple of her friends who have families and practice, but what i noticed is that they simply practice "around" their children, rather than their children directly participating. Likewise, Kadampa is expensive and intensive with lots of classes, lots of money spent on classes, and then eventually you're given something individual to do at home beyond meditation/study (which is already what we do at home).

What I was looking for was a doing -- something that DS could "do" that would be buddhist. A simple daily ritual that would be enough. I wanted something authentically connected to the practice, and I just was struggling to find anything. Thich Naht Hahn, whom I love, has lots of simple rituals (like smiling meditation) but DS is really not feeling them in the way he felt Ravi's grandmother's practice or Lenny's mother's practice. :)

I happened to be picking up sushi for the kid (and seaweed salad, his new "favorite") when I came upon a Nichiren publication. It explained the basics of Nichiren.

I'd studied a bit about Nichiren when I was in a buddhist survey class. This was the bit: "Nichiren is really a silly form of buddhism, where adherents believe that a specific chant will bring them anything that they wish for. It's really silly."

So I'd written it off a bit. On reading the magazine article while waiting for DH to meet us, I learned that Nichiren is basically devoted to the single sutra -- The Lotus Sutra -- and that it is as simple as zen, really, but with a ritual. Nichiren was a zen monk, so the sensibility of that practice really seems to permeate nichiren buddhism.

The organization that provided the magazine was SGI (soka gakkai international), and on some internet research, it's an organization that I will give wide berth. LOL

Nevertheless, I continued with my research and thought that it might just fit the bill. It is a simple, 10-20 minute, twice-daily ritual that involves the primary chant (I honor the Lotus Sutra), followed by the recitation of two chapters of the lotus sutra, followed by the four vows (normal buddhist vows to aid all sentient beings, to study the sutras and practice buddhism to the best of one's abilities, etc), and then your normal intercessory styled prayers followed by the mantra. meditation can follow also -- but that would be optional for DS. There is a little altar as well -- which helps a fair bit on having a focal point.

I have connected with an online independent nichiren community to get some good lines on a translation of the sutra and some help with the mantra (since pronunciation is important). In talking to a Nichiren Shu priest (american), he suggested just easing in by just doing the mantra 10 times plus the vows and prayers, and then move into adding the english versions of the sutras, and then moving from there into the chanted version of the sutras (if I wish). He says english works just the same. :)

I'm excited to have found this, and DS seems interested. DH is curious, but not "sold." He doesn't seem to get why this would be important to me, or important in general. I just think it will provide a good grounding for all of us.

So, feeling pretty excited.

Figured I'd share. :)

happystuff
5-26-12, 9:06am
I love reading about the variety of religions your ds has already been exposed to! It sounds like you have a good plan in mind. If it is ritual that is being sought, does your ds have a mala for the mantra recitations? Learning about the meaning and how to use a mala was among one of the first things I learned in my ongoing study of Buddhism. It helped fill that "ritual" aspect that I seem to have carried over from christianity.

Again, good luck to you all!!

Zoebird
5-26-12, 11:22am
I thought we would make some, which would make it extra special. we also do already have a lovely sounding bell, so I thought i'd also put DS in charge of ringing that at the appropriate times (three times at the start and three times at the end.

I think our altar will start out simple with a special candle (we have our 'general use' candle for dinner/bed times, so this one will be on the altar space itself) which we will light and snuff out (as opposed to blowing out, apparently that is 'not done'), the bell, and the malas that we will make.

happystuff
5-26-12, 5:12pm
Sounds wonderful! I have made two sets of malas... my 108 strand and my 27 wrist. There is a lot of info on the making, using, etc. of the malas. I found it all to be really interesting. I think you are doing wonderfully!!! I find reading about this particular journey for your family very fun. Thanks so much for sharing.

Zoebird
5-26-12, 7:24pm
I actually remember making rosaries (http://www.region3nccgscf.org/Knotted%20rosary%20instructions.pdf) (pdf) at church with heavy string and two medals (cross and marian medal), so I might make our first malas out of string (knots). I have to look up the instructions, but it's something that I can do simply. :) and, they're tougher for kiddos to destroy. :D

awakenedsoul
5-27-12, 1:07am
I think that's great. I remember when I was a little girl I used to wheel my doll in a doll carriage over a mile to go to church. (by myself.) I was nine. I went from church to church, searching. I eventually settled on yoga. At age six I used to get up and do Lillias, Yoga, and You with the black and white television. I would put on my black leotard and pull up a chair, just like the teacher. Funny, I became a yoga teacher! My parents didn't go to church or have any rituals. My father was raised Catholic and didn't want to push us into it. Your son sounds very open and interested in spirituality. At Integral Yoga they taught, "Truth is one, paths are many." I always loved that.

Zoebird
5-27-12, 2:00am
me, too. :D

DS really loves chanting. we used to take him to Kirtans in the US, but here they won't let him come and participate. Sounds strange, but it's true! DS does do Om and we have several songs we sing (before meals, etc), so I think he'll like this.

bae
5-27-12, 3:16am
My daughter and I "meditate" as part of our martial practices. It is pretty easy to achieve a no-mind state while fencing with live steel.

Zoebird
5-27-12, 4:23am
i think it's required, Bae.

I've seen the matrix twice, and it seems like all martial arts involve that, otherwise, how can you dodge bullets?

I started meditating around age 12/13 or so, then got instruction at age 14 (renzai zen at the time). it's definitely a bit much for Mr Active Pants, but we did the mantra today (3 this morning, then three before story time) and he really enjoyed that. He already knows the mantra and he's totally excited that it's a japanese approximation of chinese (or rather, chinese characters, japanese pronunciation). He loves our japanese friend, and wants to speak with her all the time in japanese. He did show off the mantra when he chatted with her on the phone this afternoon. :D lol!

Gregg
5-31-12, 2:01pm
I'm excited to have found this, and DS seems interested. DH is curious, but not "sold." He doesn't seem to get why this would be important to me, or important in general. I just think it will provide a good grounding for all of us.

So, feeling pretty excited.


I don't really know anything about Nichiren and I'm not a particularly spiritual person in any organized or ritualized sense. My getting in touch with something deeper usually doesn't involve much more than finding a little corner of nature and just sitting there watching life happen around me. But hey, if that's where peace is to be found, why not?

What does make me feel happy is to read what you wrote above. To find things that intrigue us and excite us is what its all about! I'm happy for you Zoebird. All the best on your quest!!!

Minz
8-25-12, 11:14am
Wow...what an interesting thread! This past week I went to a Buddhist Meditation group that I found on meetup.com. It was fascinating. We did two sessions of 20 minute meditation and then had discussion. The discussion was over my head but inspired me to learn more about meditation and buddhism. Zoebird....do you recommend any sites or books for beginners? Gregg...like you, my religion is connecting with nature and just trying to be a good person.