View Full Version : does life really need to be so expensive
This is not about a specific expense but overall. Really does life needs to be so expensive. How many things do we habitually buy and upgrade and all that before we think. Really. I may just be naive but living in a space a small size, buying fresh food we need and wearing clothes that last a long time but look nice. How expensive can that be? Now when you get into cars and health care and status you know it can be a lot more costly but I can't help but think that it is possible to live on much less than we think we need. Of course that is the point of all YMOYL, it is just different to think about this in reality and see the issues that you can't expect, see what others have a hard time making work, and look forward to a new economy that we cannot predict with recession issues.
So the question is, does life need to be as expensive as most of us make it?
iris lily
1-30-11, 10:43pm
of course not.
Nope. We think we need so much when really our needs are very minimal.
Not at all. I see people living quite happily in my neck of the woods on very very little.
Every so often I take a week and I examine Every penny spent, and go as far outside the box as I can. Why did I buy it? Why did it cost as much as it did? Is it honestly necessary to have bought this, or to have paid what I did? If this item simply wasn't available, what would I have done instead? I've found that at times this really helps to loosen up the perception that everything we habitually buy is necessary, even down to the most "basic" necessities. What we Choose to buy is one thing, what we actually need is something entirely different. It's nice to have a 'shake up' that reminds us that we don't really require a lot of what we like to have, especially if we're feeling financially vulnerable.
Absolutely not. People complicate their lives needlessly.
does life really need to be so expensive
Beyond the basics, people don't need to spend, they choose to spend.
gimmethesimplelife
1-31-11, 1:57am
LOL I guess it does so we can all buy all kinds of things we don't really need but can't bear to part with so that we can keep storage locker places in business! Totally kiddng here. Maybe this is one good thing that will come out of this economic downturn for some - the realization that we can do without all our wants and that life can indeed be much less expensive than most live it.
If I'm honest with myself, I have many expenses that could be eliminated. I think I live frugally - and more frugally than most of my friends and family - but I know I could do better.
No it doesn't, I also think that this recession has made many people here in the UK aware that a lot of their expenses can be trimmed down without even feeling too much of a pinch.
I know several pensioners in the UK with real difficulties due to soaring cost of food, utilities and the cost of anything to do with a car. Even with good health care, life goes on. They are coming up with a lot of ideas to save on all these. One friend has even taken the step to move into the town to an apartment to get rid of the car. Many more are gardening and eating less meat.
We are blessed with such an abundance in the US that we forget this is not what the vast majority of humanity ever sees, touches or uses.
A good idea is to distance yourself from any and all advertising. It is hard! I found when I stopped looking at ads, reading magazines about the "newest" and "best" thing, checking all the ads for prices, I was so much happier with what I already owned. I try to remember how happy we were when we had so much less and how creative we were. We have been well trained that buying something will make us happy.
Also remember that just because a house is small does not make it less money or status or efficient. Friends spent over half a million on a super tiny house near the beach in LA. Location is far more valuable than size. I would give up sq. footage for the perfect location since the location affects my life far more than how big a room is.
flowerseverywhere
1-31-11, 12:23pm
Zoe, you have hit the nail on the head.
What do we really need.
Food, depending on your statistics and habits maybe 1600-2500 calories a day.
a roof over your head, something to cook on. A few pots and pans.
clothes to protect you from the elements.
If you truly track every penny you spend for a few years and spend some time looking at it you really see the big picture. Each January we take a good look and separate into real needs, things that make life nicer and luxuries. Everything that is above the true needs complicates our lives and we have to have money to get it, maintain it and house it. It makes you really think about the true value of your money and what is it worth spending on.
Flowersevertwhere, you also hit the nail on the head. It is usually in January that I go back over the expenses to explain to myself and DH about why we spent what we did, why we did it, and does whatever we bought fulfill us and is part of our life goals. Some of the stuff we buy does not make sense to me, but when it is explained, makes it more reasonable.
I do feel though, that when you are working in an office, that "expensive living" comes to a head. As much as we all think we are not, sometimes it is hard not to keep up with the Jones. Getting ready, eating, driving far to work, getting coffee, doing work, having lunch, doing more work, staying awake, driving home, dealing with the family, possibly exercising, getting dinner on the table, watching TV or reading, and getting ready for bed, sleeping. And doing that 5 days a week.
Living can be hard and expensive. Hard especially when you are not doing what you want, but what you HAVE to do. And if you are not doing and working on what you love, then spending money all of the other stuff is to reward yourself to do a job you hate.
I understand, because both DH and I have been there, done that. But I am finally on my fourth career, one that I love and so the other stuff is not as important nor do we need to spend.
Where I live (USA, small city in the Midwest), housing & health insurance costs are through the roof. My college students really struggle to find affordable places to live once they graduate, and unfortunately many of them go for stretches of time without insurance. For a person with minimal work experience, finding a job that offers a decent wage and health benefits can be a real challenge.
Beyond that, if we're not keeping a close eye on things, our expenses just seem to grow right alongside our income. I know that when DH and I were making about twice what we are now, we didn't save all that excess. Oh, no! We went out to eat, we bought new clothes, we traveled. I don't even know where all of it went, but it certainly went away fast!
Now that we're making a lot less and being pretty careful about our spending, it turns out we don't actually need to eat out or buy all those things. I would like to have a little more in savings, but the truth is that we're living quite comfortably on a much-smaller income. Hopefully once DH graduates and we have a little more extra cash, we'll do a better job of remembering how to live frugally even if we don't have to.
That question always pops up in my head, too--which is when I like to read books like "Radical Simplicity" by Jim Merkel. Just knowing that a person can make life choices and spend less than $5000 a year is so inspiring to me.
Really, as he points out, there are many happy tribal communities that have what they need and live on next to nothing. We keep upgrading our expectations, which is complicated by our need to "fit in" with society at large. So, one generation has an apartment on the Lower East Side and the next generation has a two bedroom cape, and the next generation has a family room and attached garage and the next generation has a McMansion and so on and so on.
I have my regular budget but I sometimes do a "bare bones budget" exercise to see how little I could truly live on. It's a mental health exercise to recognize where my escape hatch is, and realize that everything I buy is a choice.
I agree that life doesn't have to cost so much, but frugality is not a word or lifestyle most of us want to embrace. I've always
believed that most people live life on 'auto pilot' and couldn't even tell you how much they earn or spend, what they do with their
time, etc.
Of course not. We just make it that way.
Advertising and Consumerism. It is so engrained in all of us. Just watching a MOVIE will put you in the hypnotic trance. I need nothing during Christmas, but all that advertising (not specifically for any one thing but overall) makes me want to go buy something. We are trained that we need "new" things constantly. Every basic necessity has been remorphed in to some kind of endless need for replacement. Clothing is not longer a necessity, it is a season. Next month, you need the new fashion. If clothing was a necessity, we'd all be wearing the same thing, or not even notice what each other was wearing. Identity, etc. etc.
We need to put a stick of dynomite in to this hypnotic pile and use the blown up pieces to craft something with our boredom instead of going to the mall in order that we shall have something to do.
In tracking expenses I see that there was fluff in our budget. But there's a lot of stuff in there that is just maintenance for a middle class lifestyle: insurances and health care and home maintenance and so on. If you cut these things out completely, you are putting your participation in the middle class at risk. So there is a baseline cost to this lifestyle and it's not cheap.
Just to clarify, I know there are many many people who live outside that main stream and they are happy.
Sad Eyed Lady
2-4-11, 10:29am
I have friends who are amazed at what my husband and I have lived on, and continue to live on. As one remarked to me lately, "and you do everything you want to.". Yes, we have lived within and below our means on small incomes for years and years. And yet my husband was able to retire at 55, I hope to retire this year and we have also been able to provide for our future by putting some money into IRA's each year. I do not have a retirement plan where I work, so this will be my retirement. And as my friend said, I don't feel our lives have been lacking at all. We take vacations, go out to eat, have a home that is paid for and two cars (small gas efficient Toyota Echo's), that are paid for. No credit card debt. There are some expenses that are unavoidable as others have pointed out here, but there are also many that we chose to make. When I started at the job I have now, there was another lady working there who was a single mom with three children. I told her that if work was slow and one of us needed to take off, I would do so since she was a single mom and I felt needed the income more. Then, once I got to know her I found she spent a LOT more money than I did on non-essentials! She had high speed internet where I had dial up (at the time), she had satellite tv where I had rabbit ears, she went to movies with her children fairly often plus subscribed to Netflix, in the summer she purchased season passes to the water park for herself and 3 children and this was in another town that she would have to drive to rather than using our local pool at the park. On the other hand, she lived in public housing, was always behind on utilities, juggling bills that had to be paid, and on & on. I would just listen to her and think how much she could cut out and still have a good life! She is no longer working with me, is still in the money crunch, and struggling. Yet, as I last knew anyway, she and all three children had iphones! Why? Why? Why?
Shalom_Poet: Rabbit Ears RULE!
How do we live frugally? We thumb our noses to consumerism. This works for us: Live in a smaller house (lower electricity and heating costs), get rid of the cell phones and fancy gizmos (heck when I read the post about someone having a "nook" I honestly thought they were talking about a small kitchen table for a kitchen nook. Never heard of a "nook" and don't want one), don't eat out or buy prepared foods (home made food tastes better and is better for you), have one car instead of two and only travel when you have to, don't join "clubs" (if you want to exercise, go for a walk or shovel snow), only buy the clothes you NEED and wear them until they wear out (same with shoes and boots), don't go on trips (we are fortunate to have paradise right in our own backyard. There aren't any places that we could visit that are nicer than here IMHO), don't redecorate unless you have to, if something breaks - fix it (I'm fortunate to have a hubby that can fix and rebuild pretty much anything *S*), buy items on sale and use coupons (think of it as a challenge - you against the stores *S*), grow your own veggies and fruit and what you can't grow, purchase locally and can/preserve), don't buy anything you don't have room for (living in a small house means you can't own clutter), and hang your laundry to dry.
Good question. I do this list in my mind often, it helps when I'm feeling poor or envious:
Love--yep
Friends--you bet
Food--sufficient
Dry roof--yep, got it!
Laughter--quite frequent
Music--yes, often free
Books--library and trading with friends
Clothes--lots due to great thrift and consignment shops
Bikes--yep, an old classic 3-speed Schwinn-love it
Car--ll years old, runs fine, paid for, easy on gas
Health--so far so good, exercise daily and eat wisely, mostly
Everything else is icing on the cake, in my view--except, of course internet, but that's free at the library if need be
"...when I read the post about someone having a "nook" I honestly thought they were talking about a small kitchen table for a kitchen nook"
Ha! I read "Nook!" as "Nooki," so you could imagine my double-take. :~)
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