View Full Version : Article (Unintentional) on how Not to Manage Your Money
I found this money-focused website a few weeks ago, and although it is definitely aimed at urban 20-somethings, I enjoy many of their posts--particularly because it is rare to find money-related writing on the internet that aims to be descriptive of what people actually do as opposed to advice-focused.
But this article on how a young freelancer manages her career and money was unsettling http://thebillfold.com/2012/07/how-natasha-vargas-cooper-does-money/#more-9367. I actually wondered at first if it was some kind of satire on how not to manage your money but I think she's being serious.
Warning, because this is an "edgy" site not all her comments are family-friendly.
She sounds very immature. How old is she? Almost 30 maybe? I don't think her parents are doing her any favors. I'm only about a decade older, but I feel like I'm about 25 years older. I would never dream of living with my parents at that age. Maybe it's because my parents would have "impeded my independence and creativity." [eyeroll]
Well, if anything, it's given me insight into how not to raise my daughter.
oh my god! this girl is unbelievable! Sounds like an article from the Onion! Do you see ANY guy wanting to have a relationship with this woman? I'm guessing she gets a LOT of first dates. (buy dinner/pay for the BJ then drop her like a spoiled potato)
oh my god! this girl is unbelievable! Sounds like an article from the Onion! Do you see ANY guy wanting to have a relationship with this woman? I'm guessing she gets a LOT of first dates. (buy dinner/pay for the BJ then drop her like a spoiled potato)
How did I miss that part??? I guess I was so turned off by the first part of the interview I didn't read the rest of it very closely!
I'm so glad she's a freelancer, because I would never want to have to work with such an entitled, angry brat.
ApatheticNoMore
8-2-12, 12:14pm
Guys date for a few dates because she's fairly young and for all we know perhaps even hot and somewhat promiscuous. It's possible she might even be likable when you get to know her, all that defensivness clearly hides psychological problems. What, I don't know. But the whole drumbeat is I can't even look at bills, I can't even be aware of what is going on with money, it's all too terrifying, I can't handle it, I can't deal with this aspect of life etc.. So she might be friendly but pitable and pitiful when you break down that wall. But there's probably a type that will like her and never want to, if they believe: "woman can't handle life, they need to be taken care of, leave the difficult stuff to a man" etc.. A lovely pairing indeed >8)
I do relate to the feeling of futility for having to hustle so hard just to make rent, month after month after month, and of course never seem to get much from it. And I compare that the lifestyle of those who parents help them out (one person got an interest free mortgage from their parents - they are paying back their parents interest free - interest free mortgage unreal). They have a two story house, a giant fish tank, a flat screen tv, giant couch, a hot tub in the backyard, starting a small veggie garden in the backyard, central A/C on 24/7 (I shudder at what the bill must be), fancy fridge. My modest 1 bedroom apartment, no t.v., ikea furniture, few feet of dirt outside, window box A/C I crank on only when necessary, small fridge seem shabby in comparison. And I outearn them :( - and they are single, there is no dual income in this picture. Although to their credit they do work extremely hard (LONG hours, busting thier @#$#), they don't lack work ethic. Still they'll probably blow it all on addiction since functioning alcholism keeps it all going (drink in the morning due to nerves about work, drink in the evening to relax).
Just at a certain point if you don't go the traditional route (spouse, 2.5 kids, dog and white picket fence), the traditional working so hard, being completely independent, just to pay the rent, when the rent takes so much, and only incomes well over 6 figures (usually dual incomes) buy housing, starts to seem pointless, even if 20% is going into retirement vehicles and more pretty easily could. Your not a winner in this life and you start to know it. You don't even have a fishtank running 24/7 with pretty little fish (shudder at the electricity bill for that - but they are so cute ....). It's enough to make one throw up one's hands and choose the hedonistic lifestyle, see how far one's income goes spending every penny .... either that or ask mommy and daddy for help :)
try2bfrugal
8-2-12, 12:23pm
I also think her parents are not doing her any favors. If I were her parents I would charge her rent, have her set up a budget and savings plan and have her be occupied full time in some combination of working / looking for work / going back to school / work around the house / volunteer work applicable to her profession.
I have a cousin in Manhattan who lives a similar lifestyle, though in his case it was his mother sending him checks every month to cover his rent and paying off his credit cards for him that has kept his self-actualized arts career afloat. He is in his 50s, and since she passed away a short while ago, he has run through his entire inheritance and is spiraling into deadly depression, as he has no adult living skills or ability to support his lifestyle.
I found it pretty amusing. I'd come across more like her if I didn't have a filter as big as a tuba mute. I've never been particularly interested in money, so I've dribbled away a small fortune over the years. But I've never been a mooch, I pay my own way, and I've always made it OK--even when I was spending 125% of my income. My parents were perfectly nice people, but I would have lived in my car before bunking with them. Boomerang kids and those who "fail to launch" seem to be pretty common these days, but they've always existed. Historically, it wasn't unusual for generations to live together indefinitely.
ApatheticNoMore
8-2-12, 5:08pm
The part that amazes me the most is she doesn't bother to get the amounts too accurate on her taxes!
That part about taxes is where my tuba mute would have come in handy.
Wow - I'd only be curious if the parents are "ok" with the current situation. If they aren't, then the whole situation is wrong.
She could be doing better - she could be doing worse. It sounds better than being on a treadmill doing what you don't want to do and in debt to the nines like so many people her age are.
Jane! Surely you could relate to this: "...I want to be left alone and focus on the work. The work is the best part. Hell is other people, right?..." ha ha ma soeur
Now as far as the other stuff:
I will not touch that section about dates/who pays/BJs
But outside of this author's tone, there's not a lot that bothers me. Yes, there is a deliberate style of exaggeration in this piece and that's probably what puts off a lot of people. These concepts make sense to me:
"...I don’t use credit cards. I can’t. They’re too dangerous. I do have one but it’s for absolute emergencies only, like I got kidnapped and need to rent a car to drive two states over back home. I have a debit card. I try not to ever use cash, because cash just disappears. I spend it, and then sometimes I literally lose it after putting it my pocket. It’s a mess. Plus the debit card is a kind of automatic book keeping..."
and
'...I don’t track. I don’t login to my account. It makes me nervous. I don’t live monastically, but I don’t spend money on anything that I don’t think it’s okay to spend money on. I maybe go out to eat too much, but that’s it. I refuse to feel bad about that. I roughly know how much I have in my account, whether it’s below $1,000. When it drops below $500 I will adjust my spending..."
When I was her age I handled money in exactly the same way. I didn't balance my checkbook, but I always kept $1,000 in the checking account and pretty much knew within 10% of how much I had because I didn't buy much. I paid the few bills I had recluctantly and sloppily. IF ONLY in those days there was auto pay I would have been SO HAPPY.
I'm not sure that how she handles taxes is all that bad--isn't she just saying that she doesn't pay attention to totals? Since she's not in the negative, is that really a bad thing? She's not incurring debt, right? Sure her parents are keeping her out of debt, but that's a choice they are making. They enable her to go to that hotel for 3 dyas to write, to jet off to Hawaii for ten days each year. Now that's pretty luxurious, but she's doing it on no debt.
I don't know, it's not that she is living at home..and it's not that she is pursuing her dream, it's I think the whole feeling of entitlement i get from the interview. She really doesn't give any credit to her parents, who did work their asses off at maybe less than desirable jobs that allow her to pursue her dreams. However grateful she is for her parents, she just comes off as a spoiled self centered brat, who feels she is entitled to everything she has. She doesn't want to start at the bottom, or work her way up! Really? She doesn't want to go through the bother of actually trying to get along with others? Again, I ask, what guy is going to want to date, or get serious, with this girl? If she were a guy with these attitudes, I would be saying the same. This is the kind of person who writes articles when she is 40 saying all men are scum and all women are whores for loving them!
My own daughter lives at home while she finishes her degree, but she never misses an opportunity to let us know how grateful she is that she can do this. She also pays rent, as she can afford, and helps where ever she can. Luckily we have tons of room so she can essentially have an entire floor to herself, but we are a close family and live together as a unit.
Why yes, Iris Lily, I could relate. http://www.kolobok.us/smiles/icq/cool.gif
I got the feeling she's meeting her financial obligations and getting along well with her parents. Either she'll ramp up her game or transfer her dependence to a mate at some point, I imagine.
ToomuchStuff
8-2-12, 11:44pm
I did get a laugh out of it. I don't want to go over the whole thing as it isn't my life nor is she living with me, but I do wonder what she writes about since "hell is other people". I am assuming she doesn't do interviews or write about those hell things.
That sentiment was made famous by Jean-Paul Sartre (though it certainly wasn't original to him ;)) and he did OK...
ApatheticNoMore
8-3-12, 1:18am
Am I too practical or what? I hear her say "hell is other people" and I automatically think: then duh just get a job where you don't have to deal with people much. They definitely exist. Not all jobs require you to interact that much with other people.
ToomuchStuff
8-3-12, 2:08am
Am I too practical or what? I hear her say "hell is other people" and I automatically think: then duh just get a job where you don't have to deal with people much. They definitely exist. Not all jobs require you to interact that much with other people.
When hell is other people, that much, is too much.
Am I too practical or what? I hear her say "hell is other people" and I automatically think: then duh just get a job where you don't have to deal with people much. They definitely exist. Not all jobs require you to interact that much with other people.
she HAS that job.
ApatheticNoMore
8-3-12, 10:07am
she HAS that job.
It's hard to see a job where the only way you are making it is to rely on others to pay part of your way as much of a job choice. I mean I've even *advised* the partial dependence path ("just train for something simple, find a part-time job, something to earn a little money, keep you busy") to those who absolutely could not get their lives together (long term addicts) but ...
She's building skills and a client base. And it's the rule rather than the exception for women in this society to "only make it by relying on others to pay part of (their) way." To play devil's advocate.
I takes all kinds, I guess. If I were her parents I wouldn't let her sponge off of me. Her hard-hitting, take-no prisoners approach to journalism includes articles on Dr. Drew, Rebecca Black, bath salts (as a drug) and new porn. She should have stuck with union organizing....
But on the theme of how not to manage your money, if you want to see a real train wreck in progress head on over to Get Rich Slowly and check out the articles (and lengthy comment streams) by new GRS staff writer "Honey Smith", an underemployed Ph.D. with over 100k in student loan debt with a husband with another 100k in law school debt who left his job at an established firm to start a new firm with two partners -- one who was so flakey they kicked her out of the partnership within months, and another who is apparently not fond of working and rather unreliable. If it weren't for real it would be very entertaining. Good for a bit of schadenfreude, though, if you are into that kind of thing. Latest installment here:
http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/08/02/when-one-partner-wont-budget/
When I see stuff like this my jaw just drops. WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE THINKING!?!?!?!? Yeah, I'll give you some "relationship-positive" advice: get a good lawyer, because he/she'll be worth their weight in gold if they can keep you from murdering each other during the inevitable divorce. I just hope they don't have kids, or pets -- no one should be subjected to this level of financial and relationship dysfunction...
lhamo
ApatheticNoMore
8-3-12, 3:41pm
She's building skills and a client base. And it's the rule rather than the exception for women in this society to "only make it by relying on others to pay part of (their) way." To play devil's advocate.
I always figured women would be held to the same standards as men. So I wonder how a 28 year old guy doing the same thing be looked upon.
I takes all kinds, I guess. If I were her parents I wouldn't let her sponge off of me. Her hard-hitting, take-no prisoners approach to journalism includes articles on Dr. Drew, Rebecca Black, bath salts (as a drug) and new porn. She should have stuck with union organizing....
does sound more useful to have stuck with the union organizing ...
I always figured women would be held to the same standards as men. So I wonder how a 28 year old guy doing the same thing be looked upon. ...
I'd like to think so, but I'm not sure we're there yet.
Hmm..
My reaction to the blog post..
She's definitely "rude and crude."
WHY don't her parents insist on her paying rent??
Her formula/strategy for getting a free meal is appalling IMO
OTOH,
She doesn't have debt
She does have a "system"
She has learned early that she doesn't want to be beholden to anyone and she's living that particular truth
So, net-net, I don't think she's that bad. If her parents stopped enabling her and she just spent a bit more time paying attention, I don't think I'd have much of an issue with her.
As far as Honey Smith goes--lhamo, I have followed her blog posts in GRS, and yes, she does seem a little "out there." As far as her relationship with her husband, I love her comment, his attitude is "Just make enough money so that you don't have to budget" or something like that. She's going to learn quickly that there is NOT enough income to cover that attitude.
But I hate.. hate to throw stones. God knows I have each of these women in me to some extent (but I have never done a you-know-what as payment for a first date :0! I do have unorthodox way of sharing marital assets, but I have my own reasons for that.
Everyone has to find their way, and sometimes you learn the hard way. Sometimes I get a wee bit irked at financial uppityness. But the article was entertaining.
I have a little bit of a 401k left over from my union job, but other than that, no, and that’s the number one source of contention in my household right now, that I’m not currently saving. My family wants me to start it now, but I feel like I haven’t made enough money to be saving yet. I’m 28. Hopefully by the time I’m 30 I’ll feel like I can start putting something away.
This is the problem I have with her article. Really, she can afford to spend $75/mo on audiobooks (one every ten days=3/month to the tune of $25 each) but not a dime for retirement? But she magically thinks she'll somehow be able to save in two years when she's 30 but can't now? It's that kind of thinking that's a problem. I can understand a freelancer has some issues with income stability but how hard can it be to take 1, 2, 5, or 10% of every paycheck and put it away? Not that difficult if she can keep $1000 in a bank account on a regular basis. I know exactly one person IRL who has a good excuse not to be saving, because she's a single mother with a deadbeat father putting herself through grad school and there are a few on this forum who really are squeezing every penny. However, almost everyone else I've ever met who "can't save" is just choosing not to, exactly like this woman, because almost everyone has something they buy on a regular basis that they don't really need.
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