View Full Version : Are you a grown up with grown up stuff?
Sad Eyed Lady
10-12-12, 10:34am
Here I am, just celebrated my 61st birthday, been married to the same man since I was 18 years old, and sometimes it hits me that I still don't think "grown-up" in many ways. For instance, furniture. Sometimes I think my furniture is not grown up furniture. Our bed is just a king size bed frame, no headboard/foot board thing, no real night stands - you know what I mean. Also, I have never bought a set of dishes in all these years except for a simple set of correllware (winter white, 4 place settings) back in the '70's. I have hodge-podge dishes, no real "silverware", but I do own several wonderful pieces of pottery that a potter friend has made. These I keep on a long table in the kitchen, so walking by in the mornings I can grab a cup and head to the coffee pot. None of this was exactly conscious decisions, it is just how we lived all these years, but lately when having new carpet put down in the bedroom and vinyl in the bathroom, the idea of this grown-up thing just hit me. I have a friend of 30+ years, roughly same age and she constantly watches HGTV and redecorates, rearranges, and has very grown up looking stuff. I don't know how many sets of dishes she may have at any given time! But, you know, that's okay that I may not be grown up in some ways, just wondering if there are others and if you think of it in this way.
iris lily
10-12-12, 10:43am
I know what you mean, I didn't have a real sofa (one that I actually paid money for) until this year and I'm 58 years old. When I was single I had a mattress on the floor and a few chairs. That bugged my mom. Hey, I owned a house (well, was paying a mortgage) and it didn't bother me that I had no real furniture. Our beds are on frames now. We made one cheap ugly headboard that I now wish was gone.
When I bought my first antique set of drawers I was about 45. I consider that to be my first grown up piece. Since then I've purchased 2 or 3 other antique pieces of furniture.
But when it comes to dishes and kitchen stuff, umm, I've been through several.I am not proud of my dishes addiction, but there it is.
mtnlaurel
10-12-12, 10:44am
I have a friend of 30+ years, roughly same age and she constantly watches HGTV and redecorates, rearranges, and has very grown up looking stuff. I don't know how many sets of dishes she may have at any given time! But, you know, that's okay that I may not be grown up in some ways, just wondering if there are others and if you think of it in this way.
Are you friends with my MIL?
Any 'grown up' stuff I have are generous cast offs from the super-consumers in my life or family heirloom-type things from my grandmother.
I am sincerely grateful because if I do not luck up on something at a garage sale/craigslist/etc for pennies on the dollar you can forget about me buying it.
I would much rather get the high off of compounded interest working in my favor, taking a trip, seeing an awesome movie in a theater or a show or something experiential or my favorite = watching my kids' faces fill with joy as they do their sports/interests (which sadly are not all free).
I've never thought of it like you put it, but yes, you are spectacularly right, Sad Eyed Lady! LOL! Carefree kid style! We are so there! ROTFLMAO!
Let's see now... we, too, have a number of headboard-less, beds, mismatching furniture, mismatched dishes, and a variety of different kinds of flooring to sooth even the most jaded of retro revelers!
JaneV2.0
10-12-12, 11:13am
My "decor" is pathetic. Pathetic. I dream of a chic house.
Not to veer off course from the OP, but I do believe many of us fall victim to all the home-shows on television nowadays, everyone upgrading and improving (money be damned), and that's simply not reality (for most).
Do you know that saying about how a success life is growing up without having to grow old?
Well, I think that is completely backwards. I think that the proof of a successful life is one in which you grow older without having to grow up.
When I was married, everything had to be the best, which translates into being the most expensive. It was not my preference, but I had no say in anything anyway, so it was what it was.
Now that I have my own place, I think that it reflects me and in ways that I could never have even imagined.
There are cat toys all over the place. The bookshelves now hold toys for me and the grandsons, craft and knitting supplies and a glorious quantity of crayons, markers and colored pencils. The top is stacked with all sorts of white foam pieces for making stuff with the boys.
My bed is mattresses on a metal frame, no nightstands or dressers. I have weird looking, kind of old fashioned furniture and I love it. My desk is in the living room where it makes sense, with a stack of zombie movies on the end. I am surrounded by not much stuff, but stuff that I really like.
Newer and fancier stuff would be just as great, and I am sure that I would like it, but I do not need it and it feels good to be able to live so simply and frugally now. Now that I am thinking about it, my friends do have newer and fancier things, but I do not think that any of them think too much about any of it. Perhaps it is our age that helps us not give too much energy to having and getting things. Each within their means, maybe.
It helps that I can make just about anything that I need, or repair or rebuild things, and I am guessing that is true for most of us. And, I would guess that other people would probably think that my decor is pathetic, but if my friends do they are too nice to say anything and anyone who would really care never gets inside to see my stuff.
And, it is clear that I am not the only one here who dislikes having to pay full price for anything. Mrs-M, I love the concept of a carefree kid style so much.
And, I think that it is not supportive to criticize ourselves for liking or wanting or having something, whatever that is. I often see people apologetic about having or doing something, like it is sinful or something, especially when it is about being frugal. Disclaimers about being bad or guilt about treating ourselves, things like that just make me feel sad that some people feel shame about having or doing things that other people may not think are worth having or doing.
Indulging one's self is not a failing. Buying or splurging on some great ingredients or fabrics or tools or equipment or whatever should be just fine, and it pains me to see people beating themselves up about it. Or, maybe they are being preemptive before anyone else can make some judging or snarky comment.
Crap, we have enough work just making it through life without judging ourselves about choices like this. I belong to this forum and another, and on that one someone is struggling with replacing an appliance, conflicted about buying an older, refurbished one and buying a new one that will do exactly what she needs the thing to do. So sad, really. Of course, saying any and all of this is me being judgmental about what other people share, but this stuff really saddens me, sometimes kind of breaks my heart, though I am not going to own any shame or guilt about it. :) :) :) :) :) Nope.
Float On
10-12-12, 11:50am
No headboard here either. I just always figured the window above my bed was headboard enough. I like the view of the woods I have. But.....a real bedroom set of furniture does sound extremely grown up to me. Someday I'll have one. Will probably ask my dad to make one for me from wood from the farm. I like things with personal history. My antique buffet was from the first owners of the farm, Miss May gave it to my mom on the day of closing the sale, mom gave it to me on our closing day of buying our house.
I have thought about this some lately, too, OP. I have never been much of a decorator; my house is more functional than fluff. I don't even have a lot of photos on the walls or anything. Our furniture is 30+ yrs old (except for the couch and living room chairs), but it's heavy, made-to-last, carved wood. At least it matches. But I'm not like my sister, who I've always marveled at every season when she tricks out her house in tchatchkes and knicknacks. She gets a bit nutty, but at least she's inspired.
When fall was arriving here lately, I thought about putting some pumpkins or some kind of arrangement on the porch, but then thought, "what the heck am I spending $$ and time on that for?" Then....my birthday came last week and the above-mentioned sister gave me a lovely outdoor planting and solved that urge.
puglogic
10-12-12, 12:22pm
We had some dinner guests not too long ago who were HGTV types, and they said before they came, "Oh, we can't wait to see what you've done with the place!"
Ummmmm...."done with the place?" Let's see. I planted some trees. Bought an entryway bench to use to take off my shoes. New cozy flannel sheets.
I'd like to have a spot where there's a couch and chairs clustered together, so a bunch of us can get together and yack. But every time I see the sales flyers and see that that "like" would cost me over $1000.00, it gets postponed again. It's just not that important to me.
Same here with the no-headboard, fun/weird furniture thing. My husband has an old icebox as a nightstand. I have a giant (two-person) bean bag chair in my office, and a lamp made out of an antique blowtorch. We have mismatched dishes, but two really amazing pasta/soup plates that are gorgeous, and which we eat off of most of the time.
Sometimes I feel the same as you do, sadeyedlady: Not quite grown up. Not in my furnishings and not in how I dress compared with other women.
Oh well.
Originally posted by Jilly.
Mrs-M, I love the concept of a carefree kid style so much.Me, too! :)
Originally posted by KayLRZ.
my house is more functional than fluff.Ours, too. This thread made me think about baby nursery rooms, especially the ones nowadays where everything is designer this and designer that. No thank you! Aside from all other areas in our home, I also kept the nursery room 100% utilitarian!
At the time (when my kids were babies), I would have bet my bottom dollar (push come to shove) that my nursery room would have won-over in any competition/contest against any designer-mom and her fancy-schmancy nursery room, strictly on the grounds of good old-fashioned utilitarian requirements/needs and proper-ness! Just saying.
herbgeek
10-12-12, 12:36pm
I'm not a real grownup either. Oh, I have functional furniture, but the house is lacking in anything resembling "decor". I have a friend who has a very tasteful style, and I love her house, but that just isn't me. I stress too much about getting the right thing at a price I'm willing to pay, its just so much work so I opt out. I do have a couple of pieces of interesting art, that friends or family have made, and some candleholders. Friends say my house is cozy, but no one ever marvels at the latest and greatest or how the place is decorated. And I'm mostly ok with that. If I put my mind (and my money) to it, I know I could do better, but I don't think I'd be any happier, and likely less so after spending all that money.
I actually LIKE Ikea style, even though I know its associated with just-out-of-college-with-little-money. Real, serious furniture isn't really my style. So I'd never be considered a grown up with all my Ikea stuff anyhow. I do have some nice oak antique pieces in the dining room and kitchen from another era in my life, that I'd like to eventually replace with Ikea equivalents but again not worth the effort of selling off what I have.
The house is neat and warm, and I cook up interesting appetizers and serve reasonably decent wines for guests. I have a guest room where I routinely hear that my guest has had the best night's sleep in a long time. I have a comfortable bed that I can't wait to get to each night. That's enough for me. No one from HGTV will ever come here to film a show unless its a "what not to do" series. ;)
There's a lot to be said Re: simplicity equals comfort (or vice-versa).
decemberlov
10-12-12, 1:03pm
I'm not sure we can say that we have very grown up stuff per say but our house has many decorations. We both collect antique cameras and tin planes and cars but we never spend more that $20 on a piece and most of them we buy as a birthday present or Christmas present to each other. Most of our decorations are ordinary things that most wouldn't decorate with probably for example DH was getting rid of an old toy car he had as a child and the controller was so old and vintage looking I decided to keep it and hang it on the wall :~) I also have some old bottles that my brother dug up when we were a kid. I guess most would consider it not so grown up decoration :laff: As for our furniture everything but our couch is a hand me down from family and that's quite okay with me. Here's a picture of my mantle to give you an idea of my silly style:http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a91/decemberlov/mantle_zps0d1ac6b7.jpg
Rad! Really, really love the tin cars/plane collection!
P.S. Not silly at all, Decemberlov, I call it homey.
I love the V-Dubs, decemberlov. I have a little VW Bus on my desk at work - makes me happy.
I don't worry much about it. DW is in charge of functionality and I am tasked with all things avant-garde . When it comes to the house she is practical, I am not. She is grown up, I, well, you know...
LOL. This thread is making me feel better. No, not especially grown up here. I do like to decorate, but it's not HGTV worthy, that's for sure.
Originally posted by Polliwog.
I love the V-DubsI love V-Dubs, too! Always have.
Mighty Frugal
10-12-12, 1:58pm
Well even though I am a grown up and I do like a nicely decorated home and do feel I have a grown up home I don't feel I have a grown up life. No matter how old I get I just can't seem to shake the 7 year old inside of me.
I STILL get excited when I hear the song from the ice cream truck. i STILL want to go down slides. I am STILL afraid of ghosts. I STILL chew bubble gum. !Splat! I am STILL afraid of mean gym teachers. I STILL get excited when I find a dime on the ground
I wonder if I will ever grow up:|(
Well my inner-12 year old boy (who'd rather play with frogs and snakes then decorate a house) says I'm still a kid but I do like a nice, but very spartanly, uncluttered, adultish decorated place. I just need an adult to do the decorating for me :-)!
But seriously, I don't equate having things or being put together (a home or clothing) as adult. I think that being an adult is more about being a responsible mature person in life then having a "proper" home.
Well my inner-12 year old boy (who'd rather play with frogs and snakes then decorate a house) says I'm still a kid but I do like a nice, but very spartanly, uncluttered, adultish decorated place. I just need an adult to do the decorating for me :-)! ...
Exactly--even to the frogs and snakes. One of my favorite things to do as a child was visit the reptile house. My mother crushed me when she wouldn't let me hold a tarantula or take home an anaconda*. And though I have a pretty good sense of style (no modesty here), I'd rather find a professional with a similar aesthetic and let them do the heavy lifting.
*ETA: Pure hyperbole. She was A-OK with me collecting frog's eggs and salamanders and in general being a junior naturalist.
try2bfrugal
10-12-12, 2:48pm
Our house is half and half. We ran across some pictures we took for insurance purposes 20 years ago and we're laughing now about why we bothered. We could have replaced everything in one day from garage sales and had nicer stuff compared to what we had. It was like in the Men in Black movie where Will Smith looks around the tacky living room at the farmer's house and uses the red flashy light thing to instruct the wife - " And, uh, oh - hire a decorator to come in here quick, 'cause... DAMN."
We have been trying to move to nicer stuff this past decade. We are gradually acquiring mostly all wood or glass and metal Zen / modern stuff now.
BayouGirl
10-12-12, 4:09pm
Nope, not really grown up here. We have a small house so we don't have a need for a lot of furniture or stuff. We actually did splurge a new bedroom set and two large flat screen tvs when we bought the house. Our old bed (kingsize) and dressers would not have fit in our bedroom and flat screen (wall mounted) tvs also were a wiser choice for our small house. I also wanted to have a cushy, plush mattress. So for once in my life, I splurged. These things will hopefully last me the rest of my life. Maybe in many years we will need a new mattress again because I have chronic pain issues and need a comfy bed.
But other than that, everything else is somewhat hodgepodge, useful, or sentimental stuff. I get no joy out of spending lots of money for fancy stuff. I have no need to impress or go into debt. I feel sorry for those who spend, go into debt and try to keep up with the latest trends which is a never ending quest of fleeting satisfaction and debt that never ends.
For many years, I felt like a poor student, even though I was long out of college. Seems like everything I got was small.
Whether its good or bad, I did feel better when I started getting a few bigger pieces of furniture. but even now, I still don't feel like we have a grown-up house.
Its messy alot, but that's from me cooking all the time, recycling something all the time, having kids visit, having alot of ourdoor things (gardens, chickens, etc.).
I can remember when I was about mid-20's and people would tell me about their houses and their furniture, and I really felt small. There I was with my roll-away bed and my bookcases made of boards and cement blocks.
I guess it just makes me feel good to have larger things now.
Exactly--even to the frogs and snakes. One of my favorite things to do as a child was visit the reptile house. My mother crushed me when she wouldn't let me hold a tarantula or take home an anaconda*. And though I have a pretty good sense of style (no modesty here), I'd rather find a professional with a similar aesthetic and let them do the heavy lifting.
*ETA: Pure hyperbole. She was A-OK with me collecting frog's eggs and salamanders and in general being a junior naturalist.
Ha Ha! Well considering I don't actually OWN anything of my own (and thus have no place to keep the frogs and snakes so they get released into the wild) I'd say I'd probably beconsidered childlike by many people (or at least not responsible or mature in my life choices) but here at this site I know me and my 12 year old boy alter-ego is accepted.
In our life of frequent moves I have found that our IKEA pieces are the most adult, responsible decorating option available.
The couple of really nice furniture pieces we own are more of a pain to move and worry about damage than is sometimes worth it. If I had known we would be
continuing to move around internationally I probably wouln't have purchased them. Our IKEA pieces are the best size to fit in various areas of an apartment, they break down for easier packing and that reduces possible damage :)
And if hardware is lost along the way I find it's easy to replace it at another nearby IKEA or local hardware store. No matter which country I live or have purchased the pieces in.
Sure some days I'd like a magazine perfect home but when I see what it would take to make that happen, I really appreciate where I do spend my money instead.
I would say that we have grown-up furniture now. We replaced all our grad school -era furniture about 5 years ago, mainly because it was the wrong scale (too big) for our current house. We didn't buy high-end stuff though, just regular furniture store stuff. In the living room we have a few small tables that we finished ourselves because we couldn't find the right size otherwise. Turned out to be a LOT less costly. We have overflowing bookcases in 3 rooms of our small house and a game shelf in the living room that in a fancier home would be behind doors. DD's bedroom furniture is a set that we bought used when we lived in Tucson, the used furniture capital of the U.S. It's probably from the 1940s and beautiful solid wood. It should last her forever. Our bedroom furniture my parents bought when I was 3 years old and it's solid cherry. I added nightstands that are simple dark wood tables, and a metal headboard because I didn't have a queen-sized bed when I was 3! Everything needs to be reasonably easy to clean, kid- and cat-friendly. A lot of our decorations are DD's artwork and photos in frames, and houseplants.
But in contrast to some friends who have hired decorators or bought super-costly furniture, our home is very basic and simple. Which I like - I'm not into fussy surroundings, for instance, the books that are arranged just so on the table. No, our books are all there because we were reading them, not as a decoration!
Compared to the home of our friend whom I was helping this summer with organizing and decluttering and painting, our house is a model. Her home is full of plastic shelving units (which we use in storage areas but not in our living room) and really low-end everything, from pots and pans to tables and chairs.
AmeliaJane
10-12-12, 10:20pm
For me, mostly. I say that because I still have IKEA/Target furniture mostly, with a few vintage family pieces mixed in. But that was a conscious choice in that I don't like having things that were so expensive it kills me if they get damaged. I don't use the inexpensive things hard, and they last just fine. I have kids around on a regular basis, and I am klutz myself. I did make sure to choose things with very simple lines and similar color wood so it all generally goes together. For decoration, my rule is that it has to mean something to me, whether it's a gift from someone special, or an artwork that speaks to me, etc. I'm not crazy about the decorating shows where the designer goes out and gets a lot of vases, knick-knacks etc for the "look" of the room. If I have to dust the thing, it'd better be important. The one area that I would like to improve is to replace my framed posters with some original artworks. That is going slowly as I have to wait to find something that grabs me.
JaneV2.0
10-12-12, 10:39pm
Cheap furniture is fine with me. I grew up surrounded by lovely antiques. I don't want that responsibility. I just want chic surroundings. Hotel modern, maybe. Ikea hacks. Thrift store mid-century.
I have mostly "grown up" stuff, although about half my furniture was given to me.
Antique Jenny Lind (lots of spindles) wood bed. However, the footboard got broken somewhat when I had to move out of my apartment due to the foundation work for three weeks last December. It's held together by clear packing tape and half of a spindle is broken off. Do I care? Not really?! The bed and mattress were given to me about 6 years ago. At the foot of my bed is the wooden toy box a relative made for me as a child. It's dark stained and matches my bed well. I use it for out of season linens and such. My bedside table is a natural colored wood stool from Target that cost me about $15 years ago. I have no dresser as my walk-in closet has low shelving I placed several canvas bins on for smaller clothing items.
I have a nice decent couch with a navy and white floral slipcover over it, as I got tired of the color (olive green) and there was a lot of sun fading. I have an Ikea Ektorp chair with a navy with white piping slipcover. My one end table was given to me, but it's a nice wooden one. My small bookcase was given to me. I have a floor lamp from Target.
I mostly eat at the breakfast bar/counter between K and LR. There are two IKEA bar stools that came with the apartment. I have a small round (for 2) fold up table from IKEA with two matching light colored wood chairs - the entire set was given to me. The top of the table has a few water rings from glasses, but it doesn't bother me. I have a cloth to cover it up if I want. My kitchen stuff is somewhat minimal, but I have dishes, glasses, and mugs that match. My silverware is a mismatch, but eh, who cares?
So, I guess you could say I have "grown up" stuff, although some of it is a bit worn or beat up, which doesn't bother me at all. I have a small place, so this is enough furniture for me. It's comfortable, peaceful, and welcoming. Everyone who has been over loves it.
Works for me.
I have more grownup furniture than I ever did before, thanks to living in an apartment furnished by wealthy and tasteful landlords! Visitors now say our place is "slick" and "glamorous," whereas in the past, whenever I decorated my own place, with my Salvation Army and Value Village pieces, the best I ever got was "cozy," and "homey."
I know what you mean, though...we often are invited to another couple's home for holidays. They are very nice, extremely well-educated, travel the world frequently for their work, and have great taste in home furnishing, art and home items. They have beautiful, modern pieces of silver decor (large candlesticks and bowls, etc.), and very elegant and classic pieces of dinnerware and serving ware (crystal bowls, silverware instead of stainless steel, beautiful serving platters, and well-worn and well-used Le Creuset cookware). This couple is not ostentatious in any way, and they have cared for their possessions for many years and are not slaves to fashion. They are busy living their lives, active in their community, working hard, and deeply engaged with their family. The wife of the couple dresses in a casual, but very tasteful way--lots of Italian knitware, a good French handbag, American leather shoes, and so on. She dresses to her strengths, buys well tailored, high quality, and classic pieces, and wears them for years. I am impressed by this couple's taste, but only because they have what is more important: truly good characters.
On the other hand, I know some people who have all the most modern, flashy, and expensive stuff that could be found today, but they are cold and shallow in character. I don't feel comfortable in their homes--not because of their stuff, but because of their personalities--and don't want to emulate them in any way.
I can't imagine ever feeling 'grown up' when it comes to material things. I haven't yet owned a property (and probably won't for a very long time) or a car and have never even owned my own bed.
I've always lived in pre-furnished apartments. All the furniture belongs to the landlord apart from a few new items of our own from Ikea and an old fibreboard table and chair set handed down from my parents (the same dining table I used to eat at when I was a toddler!). Cheapo furniture, all of it. When we eventually move somewhere unfurnished, I'll probably be trawling our parents' garages and second-hand stores. I cannot wait to sleep on a mattress that only we have slept on and doesn't feel like sleeping on bare springs, and doesn't have dubious stains all over it :(
At the moment though, I'd rather spend my money on other things... mainly travel & language courses.
I only have one friend who I'd consider 'grown up' when it come to material items. She and her husband both earn a LOT. She's not even thirty years old and drives a brand new Mercedes S-class. They own a brand-new house and everything inside is brand-new. It makes me uncomfortable, but that's my own failing, not hers.
SteveinMN
10-13-12, 1:40pm
Interesting question.
I have had a jones for mid-century modern furniture (Scandinavian, especially) since I was a kid. I just like the ultrasimple lines and that it relies on quality materials and workmanship more than geegaw drawer pulls and stains. So I've been acquiring pieces since I moved out on my own mumblety years ago. If I needed a dining table; Scandinavian it was. The first items were bought new, but then we started buying it used. It's all wood furniture and built quite well. With one exception, the "newest" piece of furniture in this house at this point probably is 20 years old. But aside from the patina of family living, it's not shabby at all.
We do have more of a hodgepodge since my wife moved her furniture and such to the house, though it's not diametrically opposite from mid-mod or Scandinavian design. Just obviously not Scandinavian. And she likes a lot more stuff within her field of vision than I do. So there's more on the shelves and walls. *shrug* We compromise.
Being married is a grown-up thing to do (I know, not all the time, and that included me the first time). :)
rosarugosa
10-13-12, 9:45pm
Well I almost feel embarrassed to admit it, but yes, we have nice "adult" furniture and accessories. (But this doesn’t mean we have to act like adults all the time!) I've always had a strong vision of what our home should look like, and we're pretty much homebodies, so a nice environment is important to us. Mostly Ethan Allen/Thomasville, the wooden stuff is cherry with Shaker or Craftsman influences, and the upholstered stuff is dark green leather (I always wanted a green leather couch). We have some vintage pieces as well. It took us years to slowly furnish our house, but this stuff is built to last, and we aren’t into trends, so this is probably out forever furniture. I tend to know what I like and stick with it. The cats have scratched the hell out of the leather, but I can convince myself that it looks broken in, like a favorite jacket.;)
Now our house probably isn’t a proper grown-ups’ house. It’s kind of a quirky cottage with very low ceilings in the bedroom, so we don’t have a headboard either. It was pretty tricky to furnish, because it’s so small, and we have lots of windows but not much wall space. So it was renovated and furnished over many years with a lot of time, consideration, and effort. Still, it’s a great little house and we have been very happy here.
shawntheweaver
2-21-13, 11:12pm
That is very interesting because I also know of a very close friend of my girl friend’s aunt who also had the same concern of not owning ‘grown up’ stuff. The friend we are talking about also realized when she was about to hit 50 (though a little earlier than you). She then decided to buy pieces of furniture from second-hand shops that are still in good condition. She thought that buying new furniture might not be a good investment, since she would rather use the money for travel with her husband. Though there was one piece of furniture that she did spend a fair bit – an old fashioned second hand pair of armchairs with matching side-table. It looks exactly the same as the one that I have seen on the Amish Furniture outlet, but the difference is – the set costs almost nothing. She was very happy about her best deal purchase. So, it is never too late to realize that, and who knows, you might find a good deal, too.
Well my inner-12 year old boy (who'd rather play with frogs and snakes then decorate a house) says I'm still a kid but I do like a nice, but very spartanly, uncluttered, adultish decorated place. I just need an adult to do the decorating for me :-)!
But seriously, I don't equate having things or being put together (a home or clothing) as adult. I think that being an adult is more about being a responsible mature person in life then having a "proper" home.
I know I am late to the conversation but couldn't agree more. I never understood the right of passage for adulthood. Does getting married, having a child/kids, getting "that" job or making a certain amount of money, clothing, owning a house/car/lifestyle mean you are an adult and that you have to buy in in order to get your hall pass? I don't. :) I just live and I am trying to be my real self. I never equate what things or station in my life as being an adult. I feel I am very responsible because I am frugal and simple and I know where every penny goes. Silly me. :)
awakenedsoul
3-4-13, 12:25pm
Fun thread. Now that I'm settled, I have nice furniture. When I was touring as a dancer, I would just get the bare basics. Hotels, of course, were furnished. If I had a six month contract somewhere, often I made do with a futon on the floor, a card table and chairs in the kitchen, and a boom box. It was easier to move that way. I lived that way for 15 years...the life of a gypsy.
I'm really happy with how my tiny cottage is furnished. I have gorgeous hand me down antiques that I either received from my parents, or bought at the Salvation Army. Theyr'e just beautiful pieces. Since my house was built in 1944, they really fit in nicely. I've kept the original schoolhouse windows. I have a breakfast nook that my mom gave me for my birthday 15 years ago. I get lots of compliments on it. It's really good wood and I keep it set with a set of hand painted dishes from Poland. I bought them piece by piece over several years at half price at T.J. Maxx. My couch is floral and I found it on the street. It was brand new. The woman "didn't have room for it." I love it! When I had my house on the market, the realtors were really enthusiastic about the decor. (Which was nice, because they can be so nit picky.) One said, "Your house is adorable, and I'm sure it's going to sell very fast." Another guy who was very artistic and stylish said, "I love your house! You have the coolest stuff! It looks like a museum in there!" Some of them thought I had staged it. Anyway...I love it, and that's what matters. I make a lot of hand knits and I like how they add to the charm and period look of the home.
When I see designers on shows like Nate, I don't really resonate with their style. I'm just not into everything being brand new. I don't care for the modern look. But, to each his own. If someone likes that and it makes them happy, I say, "Go for it!"
For Christmas one year, my mom gave each of us a starter set of Le Crueset that she got on sale. I used to have cheap pots and pans, but these are fabulous. I use them several times a day. I have her old cookie sheets from when I was a little girl. I found a vintage tea kettle and thermos at the Salvation Army. I love all of it! Now that I'm not living out of a suitcase, I go for quality and keep my things forever.
I never understood the right of passage for adulthood. Does getting married, having a child/kids, getting "that" job or making a certain amount of money, clothing, owning a house/car/lifestyle mean you are an adult and that you have to buy in in order to get your hall pass?
I read somewhere once -- and truly believe -- that one is an adult when one can say "I did it" rather than "It happened to me." It's a matter of continued responsibility that goes well beyond possessing things.
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