Do you have a limiit to spending without spousal approval?

[dmc]

I know some have a dollar figure that they run by their spouse before spending. I know my wife will ask if its OK to buy something from time to time, I don't recall ever saying no, but she asks. Generally she asks if its a few hundred, other things she goes ahead and buys.

I generally let her know if I'm thinking about a large purchase, something in the thousands, but don't think much about anything less.

I handle all the money, investments, bill paying, ect.

We do have monthly spending budgets I like to hit and we look at that sometimes.

I trust my wifes judgment on purchases and I guess she trust mine. It works for us.

[redfox]

We do our books together weekly, and have an agreement about letting the other know about upcoming big expenditures - by that I mean anything over $75-100 that is out of the ordinary. For instance, new glasses, new work boots, etc. Neither of us would ever say no to the other; we strategize when in the flow of it all we could afford it.

[iris lily]

Oh you retired people live the life of Riley!

Now onto you subject: No, not really. We don't much talk about purchases to each other. I put everything on my charge card that I want to buy and he pays the bills, so he sees it. In the past month I've made two large and unusual purchases--I talked to him about one of them, forewarning him that I was thinking about it, and that it was coming. The other one--nope. He doesn't buy much, and when he does, it is often tools for his business, so that's not something I'm going to concern myself with.

The last really big purchase he made was a car (fun car, not a necessary car), and that was 8 years ago. He talked it over with me first. Even though I was the one who had initiated car shopping just for the heck of it, he mulled over one of those cars we saw and after a few weeks said he wanted to buy it. That shocked me since he seldom buys anything and I said "sure, go for it!"

When I first thought about my answer it was Yes I talk to him before making major purchases, but in the end, I really do not. Part of this is that I've got a little mad money inheritance from my mom, so I feel free to do wicked things with that. But when that money is gone I will be giving him a heads up. Anyway, I plan to really cut back in spending two years before I retire to practice living on reduced income, and so I've only got a short time of high end spending.

[ctg492]

We never had an actual limit as to if we should consult each other. Since 1978 we have generally been on the same page. Then a large purchase was made by the other 1/2 last spring. There really was no discussion, maybe there was but I guess I thought it was a joke or he would never do it when he said he was taking a CD and cashing it in. Then he bought the over the top item. I am not mad exactly, but I will never get over it. Even if the item is sold in the future, I will never forget. It actually change the dinamics of our relationship for me. Having said that, I now will forever have the line I use for anything I feel like buying( I am not wasteful so no worry) the line....the "Lambo Factor".

[iris lily]

I remember years ago DH did something completely irresponsible and totally UNLIKE him (he is Mr. Solid.) And--it paid off!

He made an investment on the basis of a telephone solicitation. He invested $1,000 and made a nice chunk of change (don't remember how much) immediately. That was weird as hell, he never does that sort of thing. To this day I don' know what moved him to do so, and we were only bothered by phone solicitors from that same company for a few months after.

[SimplyL]

I set the routine budget, we earmark up to several pay periods in advance, specific needs/wants that we have (from whatever the disposable amount is left for groceries, gas, etc.)

This is really not an issue for us, as anything major that we shop for, we go together to purchase. Or if he's overseas, he has his own pot of money that he works from.. and I have the household budget and my own household disposable income.

The last time that either of us bought something and the other said, 'I can't believe you did that!' was in the mid-90's.

[goldensmom]

No limit, I don't ask for my husband's approval but if I plan an expensive purchase I will 'warn him' of what I'm about to purchase so he is not surprised. I'm so frugal he has nothing to worry about.

[herbgeek]

I wouldn't use the word "approval" but "knowledge" if my purchase is out of the ordinary (not something like the oil bill) and it exceeds maybe 100 bucks. I'm comfortable spending under that amount, but feel its more an issue of respect to let him know if I'm spending more funds (right now he is the sole income). My husband's big splurge are these really really pricey vitamins, but its really his only thing so I don't say much (well anymore. I used to show him how much cheaper he could get them.)

[pinkytoe]

DH is an old camera geek so I sometimes get annoyed out how those purchases add on up the card since I alone keep up with the money. I might mention it and he to me if it seems more than usual but usually I just let it slide since it makes him happy. He has no clue what I spend on :)

[Gardenarian]

Nope. But we do decide together how much to spend on dd's stuff (like on a bicycle, or for Xmas.)

[Float On]

For us we usually talk about anything off budget that is over our $50 mad money we each get every month.

[cdttmm]

No formal approval system here. We have three pots: my money, his money, and our money. We contribute equally to the "our money" account and use it for groceries, utilities, pets, property taxes, and other "common pot" type expenses. Our individual money we each spend as we see fit without ever really checking in with each other. Truly big expenses, like renovating our rental property or buying a new-to-us car, are generally handled by my partner with some input from me. Fortunately, we are both on the same page money-wise about 95% of the time so we're pretty comfortable with just trusting each other to make decisions that the other person would be okay with.

Actually, one unusual situation that just came up. I want to buy a high-end treadmill for our house. We are both long distance runners and typically run outdoors, but live in New England so sometimes it is hard in the winter. We also belong to a gym. My partner will drive to the gym to use the treadmill there, but I would much rather have a treadmill at home. It will probably cost about $2000-$2500 for a high-end treadmill so we talked about it as it will probably get paid for out of the common pot even though I will use it more. He's willing to go along with the purchase because I've assured him that the ROI is there because I will actually use it regularly. Now, I could have just gone out and bought a treadmill since it's really more for me and paid for it out of my own money, but that probably wouldn't have gone over well because I'm less talented than he is when it comes to deeply researching such purchases. :D

[artist]

My husband and I believe in marrying our finances. So we work out of one account and one budget. That said, most purchases are discussed ahead of time as they effect the family finances. This goes for all spending beyond $5. I trust my husband to use good judgement in making purchases and he trusts me. We work together to decide our our money is spent. We just don't go out and spend it on whatever. We are pay check to pay check with me working only part time right now and a big chunk going to ds's college so we we have to be careful with the budget we do have. Choosing to talk about most of the spending has ment we did more fun things together: Concerts, theater, hiking in the mountains, going to see Stephen King speak next month etc... than just spending on lunches out or a round of golf.

[Spartana]

We have three pots: my money, his money, and our money. We contribute equally to the "our money" account and use it for groceries, utilities, pets, property taxes, and other "common pot" type expenses. Our individual money we each spend as we see fit without ever really checking in with each other.

This is how ex-dh and I had it and it worked well for us. We were both employed full time and didn't have kids so it just made sense. In addition, we also had both joint investments for long term retirement and house-buying goals as well as seperate ones - things like IRAs, 457, etc.. I personally liked keeping everything seperate and would never expect him to ask for my approval for anything he bought or did with "his" money. And visa-versa. Would do it again that way if I re-married or lived with someone.

[JaneV2.0]

This is how ex-dh and I had it and it worked well for us. We were both employed full time and didn't have kids so it just made sense. In addition, we also had both joint investments for long term retirement and house-buying goals as well as seperate ones - things like IRAs, 457, etc.. I personally liked keeping everything seperate and would never expect him to ask for my approval for anything he bought or did with "his" money. And visa-versa. Would do it again that way if I re-married or lived with someone.

That would be my choice as well. Whatever is mutually agreed on in any given relationship is fine with me, but I once worked with a man who said his wife asked him if she could buy a new dress, and I'm sure I looked at him like he had just dropped from the mother ship. (I mean, really--was it Armani?) I can't imagine not having my own money or having to ask permission to buy something.

[rosarugosa]

Permission isn't really the right word, but we certainly discuss most non-routine puchases that come out of our joint budget as opposed to our personal allowances.

[razz]

During our daily discussions, we talk about any purchases or even our wish list and seek each others input. Rarely do either of us surprise the other. We are partners in our financial affairs but each also have individual flexible personal spending accounts that don't get discussed too often.

I usually do the research and run possible options by him for his input and we decide.