My gift this solstice

[Simplemind]

Eleven years ago my husband and I chose this day to be married. It is a significant day for both of us and the month itself has five family birthdays within the next week as well as Christmas. We jokingly refer to it as hell month. We love it but all the chips are stacked on it.

This year was huge for me in terms of change. I saw my mother through her last days which was the hardest thing I have ever done. I retired three months after that which was the second hardest thing I have ever done. Dealing with my dad and some issues that have been brought forth since my mom passed have further tipped my world upside down. I have felt loss after loss this year with no breather in between. My husband has been a rock through it all. My best friend and sounding board and the only person solidly in my corner at the end of each day.

We decided to unplug from family and the holidays this year. Starting with our declaration that we were not cooking for Thanksgiving or going out. We just wanted the day to the three of us. Same for Christmas Eve and Christmas, I would have the family over for an evening that wasn't pulling everybody in so many directions. On top of that, we decided to forgo all Christmas decorating and gifts in lieu of taking a well deserved long awaited for vacation which would also celebrate my son't 18th birthday and most likely his last vacation with us.

We were so looking forward to taking each day as we saw fit. My son was scheduled to be in numerous performances which we were looking forward to since some were school related and it is his last year. All great stuff - until it wasn't. My husband fell ill right after we finished our Thanksgiving dinner. He didn't feel well the next day but wouldn't let me take him in. By early morning I knew something was terribly wrong and called for an ambulance. What was first thought to be a brain tumor the size of a tangerine was within the next couple of day rediagnosed as a stroke. He spent a week in ICU and another four days beyond that. I brought him home and he has been with me since. We don't know what the future holds but we do know that he is home, he is himself, he can walk, talk and move. He has balance issues and gets extremely fatigued after being on his feet for a few minutes but he is home...... with us......

I could not ask for a greater gift this solstice/anniversary than having him home. We are also thankful that our finances are in order that we don't have that worry on top of it. Our son is old enough and mature enough to understand that Christmas, vacations, birthdays...... are all on hold for right now and we are living day by day.
We have each other and there could be no greater gift.

[Wildflower]

Simplemind, I just wanted to say congrats on your anniversary, and hugs for all the trauma you've been through lately. I hope your husband's health continues to improve.

[Rosemary]

Congratulations on your anniversary, and wishing you all a healthy new year.

[dado potato]

Simplemind,

Day by day, bright blessings be upon you and your family.

[Blackdog Lin]

I too send prayers. Enjoy your every simple gift.

[KayLR]

Simplemind, thank you for sharing this. It certainly puts things in perspective. Bless you, your husband and your son. The Spring is coming.

[Lainey]

Wishing you better days ahead, Simplemind. It is true that things sometimes pile on in our lives, but it sounds like the worst is behind you. Sincere wishes for your family's health and happiness in 2013.

[Tammy]

We have 3 young adult children. It's been wonderful to see them give us emotional support thru some changes the last few years. Your son is the best. Enjoy his newly adult status and understanding during this season.

[SteveinMN]

Simplemind, you've had quite a year! I'm glad things are on the upswing -- and very glad that, in the middle of all this, you are enjoying the gift(s) you have received. Blessings and prayers are headed your way.

[JaneV2.0]

That really is a gift. It could have gone so much worse. With others, I wish you both many happy years ahead.

It is possible to regain near 100% after an aneurysm or stroke; I've seen it happen.

[fidgiegirl]

Big hugs for you, Simplemind. I hope you will continue to come back here for support as well.

[Gardenarian]

What a beautiful post. Hugs and blessings to you & your family.

[Simplemind]

I have to say that I so appreciate my son. I rarely left the hospital for almost two weeks and I felt like I had kind of MacCaulay Culkin'd him. He called me one evening and asked if I could make it home for dinner (ICU closes from 7-8p). I came home to find that he had made me dinner and put up a tree with lights. We turned off the house lights and sat in the glow of the tree and ate. It was so nice of him.

For the past couple of years we have watched friends and family be challenged by illness and caretaking obligations. We kept saying (even though I was helping my dad care for my mom) that we needed to get out and do what we dreamed before something like that happened to us. Don't put off life until later...... Life feels very uncertain now but obviously it was uncertain before this happened. We need to slooooooooooooow down and appreciate what we have in front of us each and every day. We need to express to each other every day how much we care.

Thank you all for being so supportive. 2012 has been a heck of a year for me and every time I got to my feet I felt punched back down. I am a very spiritual person and know that it has all been for a reason. Perhaps 2013 will reveal the lesson learned. Your thoughts and prayers are appreciated.

[Tussiemussies]

So sorry simple for all you have gone through. Sounds like quite a lot. Glad that your husband's stroke was not worse than it was and that you attended to him right away. If you know the person is having a stroke within the first three hours and get them to the hospital for treatment, their recovery chances are much better. Glad for him.

[razz]

You are remarkable in your wisdom and recognition of priorities so big hugs to your and your family.

[Simplemind]

Tussie the odd thing about it all is that he had been feeling vertigo since August. He had seen two specialists and was taking antibiotics and steroids. Him feeling any dizziness that evening was not unusual. He did have a headache and later on he was feeling sick to his stomach. He felt that he was coming down with flu. I wasn't sure. I have had medical training and I kept an eye on him but he was walking, talking, none of the usual symptoms. It was over 24 hours before I got him there but even they did not diagnose for another 48. They told me not to feel guilty because from the first tests they thought it was a brain tumor and had scheduled surgery to remove it. They now believe he has been having small strokes over time and the other side of his brain has been compensating for it. Since they have yet to figure the cause (more testing to come) I of course worry that it can be happening again under our nose and I'll miss it again.

[leslieann]

Hug to you, simplemind, and thank you for posting. You bring me back to the fundamentals; what is really important, what is really real about our lives. Wishing you a blessed solstice....and some quiet peace. Your son sounds like a wonderful person...wishing you and your family good health.