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bke
1-2-13, 11:10am
Dh and I moved to rural Michigan with our ds over 12 years ago with the goals of owning a restaurant and allowing ds to grow up and attend school is a quiet, safe enviroment. We came here to embrace and be embraced by small town America.

Ds has 4 1/2 more years of school. The restaurant will be paid off within the next two years. Life has been very sucessful in these two areas. We live frugally, saving some money and have a bit of security to show for it.

We decided in 2011 that we want to sell the restaurant in the next few years-hopefully around the same time ds graduates. We thought we would find a house somewhere is this general area and basically retire. FI3 by the age of 50. We talk alot about this, making this plan and that plan, never quite feeling confident in the future. Will we have enough money, will ds stay close to us or have to/want to move to a better area for work? Will we feel too isolated or be happy with the very quiet lifestyle we're about to embrace?

We know that even after all these years we just don't fit in. We aren't country people. We don't hunt, fish, snowmobile, etc. Our idea of a good time is heading to the city. We prefer hotels over tents any day of the week.

A couple of weeks ago dh and I realized that all the plans we had made and all the dreams we had shared for our lives together ended with ds graduating from high school. We've never really planned a future beyond that. Moneywise we dreamed of FI. We've worked our tails off 60-70 hours a week for the last 11 years to obtain this goal. We've settled on material posessions, and limited life experiences to reach these few goals. This Christmas was the first time we've had an entire week off as a family in over a decade.

Ok, you get the point. We've decided that we want to move back to the city. Back to the suburbs of Chicago which is where we were before ds entered our lives. It means a higher cost of living. We'll probably have to work at least part time for an additional 10 years of our lives. For us it means a giant improvement in the quaility of life once we get there. No more driving 40 miles to a decent grocery store, better doctors, more choices in entertainment, better quality goods, etc.

A more well-rounded, liberal, diverse enviroment.

Has anyone else decided to switch horses in the middle of the stream? Most people I know decided to move to the country, slowing down and decreasing their expenses as they age. I'd be interested in hearing from anyone who has decided to dive back into the hustle and bustle of city life.

It feels good to look forward to the future again. The thought of this being my entire life was very disappointing to say the least.

mtnlaurel
1-2-13, 11:25am
bke, I am looking forward to reading this thread progress...
I don't have direct experience to offer, but rather observation.
To me this whole lifestyle of simplicity is about getting honest with yourself and living accordingly to what fits ​for you.

I think you are going to find a ton of great retirement options in urban areas.... Even my po-dunk little hometown in the Southeast is experiencing an Urban Renaissance.
Our downtown used to have tumbleweeds blowing through starting at 5pm sharp - now there are cute little businesses that have somehow hung on in this hell-hole of an economy and condos with full-time residents to support them.
All walking distance to libraries, YMCA, churches, events, even a movie theater now downtown - AMAZING.

It just makes sense... why junk up outer green areas with more development when there are already perfectly fine living spaces in town that just need a little life blown into them.

ctg492
1-2-13, 11:38am
Waving and smiling at you. Yes we have. I loved your story also.
Our's story involved Northern Mid MI. We had a few cottages there over the couse of 17 years, we spent almost every week end up there. Great place to visit. The dream was to move there. Long and Short of it we did after an entire year of planning, preparing the home for frugal living, Corn Burner for heat, 8N to plow out and grate road with, new well......list goes on. At 45 we sold everything and moved to paridise. Learning experince of a life time, no regrets as anything we do in life we hope to learn from. Our kids were 19 and 21 I think and lived down state, the rest of our family lived 3 1/2 hours away. Needless to say that is too far for any of them to drive and we were only budgeting X amount of trips per year. The Snow is deep and living with it is not the same as visiting when you are down a one lane dirt path. You know the story.
First month in, I thought OMG what did we do?? Hubby was "living the dream". Second month in I was settled in and learning about life there, I actually began to see positive but it was lonely. His second month his words I will never forget "I am rotting here". Third month he was back into life on a jet to NYC then to Turkey. We bought a home back down state that month and closed up the northern home. Two years later we sold it and now are waiting on selling the extra property we still have there.
This is true the home we dreamed to buy and reside fulltime in, many have done the same thing in that home. The Chalet on the River. 1979 the people built it, retired and he passed on with in a few years, the lady packed up and left. 4 owners later we tried it. We sold to a man who had dreamed his entire life of retiring to a place on the river in northern MI. He had never been there even. Lasted less then a year there (the home is still vacant and waiting to sell) The neighbors knew it was over for him when he asked " where is the nearest sushi bar". My neighbor up there told me she knew we would never make it there. The other neighbor told me " you have to fish and hunt to live here". That is so true.

Bottom line many can be away from family and friends and live the simple life no doubt. I prefer to live simple and have family and friends near and all the creature comforts with in 10 miles of me.

sweetana3
1-2-13, 11:59am
How about choosing Indianapolis. I would think it would be a good blend between the two styles of living. Even living downtown we have our own little neighborhood with single familly homes, access to all we could need, walking to what we need and an abundance of anything we could shop for within a short drive. I find Chicago a little too fast paced and "materialistic" for us.

Plus we have a great new airport with easy access for exits from town.

pinkytoe
1-2-13, 12:31pm
We need to make a decision soon too about where to spend our last few decades since we can no longer afford the property taxes here. I don't like living in Texas because of the weather (too hot) but everything else is hunky dory. As long as I have a little patch of yard I can garden on, I am content but it is a constant challenge to grow things here due to drought and heat. I am a foodie and the thought of having only Walmart to buy my groceries at is scary. We could never live out in the sticks that much I know. We have two plans - move to a smaller town just outside of Austin or move back to Colorado where I have always (thought) I wanted to be. My kin are there and I miss the mountains terribly; neither of these is a valid reason to move though. I have enjoyed reading the retirement forum on www.city-data to see what others have done - what has worked and what hasn't. This will be our year to decide...I really want to stop thinking about it and get on with making our last home.

awakenedsoul
1-2-13, 12:36pm
I feel fortunate to have the country lifestyle, but be able to bike three miles and be in the city. We also have mild winters. I think if you are isolated and bored, it gets very depressing. I can also bike to the train station and go anywhere: museums, theaters, beaches, etc...I don't take advantage of these options often, but it's nice to know that they are there. I'm glad you were able to sell your house. Yours is a good story for others to read. I also appreciate having the bus a block from my doorstep, and a nice library 3 miles from home. Sometimes I forget how convenient my location is, and how lucky I am.

bke
1-2-13, 12:56pm
"I am rotting here" That totally sums it up for me. I told my husband once that if this is where my life ends than I've wasted it.

I (We) have tried so hard to make this our life but we just don't fit in We're outsiders to this day. Some times we laugh at that and some times it's frustrating. We've programmed ourselves to make the most of what we have and we've accomplished so much but now its time to include more pleasure.

We're going to take a week off at Christmas every year from now on and go back to Palatine for a visit. We're going to continue to live a frugally as possible in order to have as much savings as possible for our move. Ds will graduate from his current school as promised and then we're all moving back to the Chicago area.

Going back to Palatine for the holidays really sealed the deal for us. We have settled way too much for too long. I miss the food, the shopping, the entertainment, oh to have choices and variety again!


CTG429: thank you so much for your post. You described my situation so well. Its so good to have someone understand where I'm coming from. Just out of curiousity, where in Mi. were you?

Pinkytoe: I hop that you can reach a decision soon. I know its not an easy thing to do. Its taken us years to get to this point.

Sweetana3: Palatine was our home at one time. Dh has two brothers there so we'll have family around. I lived in NJ before Chicago so I really want some action around me when I move-no doing things half-way this time.

lhamo
1-2-13, 1:47pm
Not switching horses, but I hear you about finding a certain kind of lifestyle better suited to your long-term happiness. I am still struggling with the outcome of moving to Beijing. It is a great city in many ways, but not MY city somehow. Chengdu spoiled me, I think -- more challenging in some ways, but easier in many others. There are things I like about my life here -- I have a great job and love our apartment (aka the big lotto ticket in the sky -- the fact that it will likely power us to FI/early retirement certainly means there is a lot to like!) The kids are pretty happy in their school, though right now we are a bit stressed about needing to find an alternative for DS, who starts middle school next year). But I have found it hard to make friends here and we are pretty isolated socially. The longer I stay, the more I feel it isn't really a good fit for us. The ever-increasing value of the apartment and our nest egg makes the urge to do something different stronger every day. But DH and I both have a pretty bad case of "golden handcuffs" (him more than me, actually), so it is hard to make that leap. Also, the most likely place for us to relocate to would be the Seattle area, where my family is. Ideally I would like to buy a house within walking distance of my brother, as my kids cousins are very close in age and spend a lot of time with each other. But that is a fairly expensive neighborhood, so another reason to keep padding the nestegg. We could quit our jobs, sell our apartment and move to Iowa or someplace else where housing is cheap today, but that is not something we are really willing to seriously contemplate -- spent enough time being away from family and dealing with all the unhappiness that comes from that so I know we wouldn't make a choice of long-term residence simply for the cost-savings aspect of it. The only other possibilities are 1) quitting/selling and moving to the city where my in-laws live. I am willing to do this because they are getting older and facing health issues, and we could help out a lot, but neither DH nor I like that city and other than family there would be no reason to move there (I lovingly call it the armpit of China -- it really has few redeeming characteristics...) or 2) quitting/selling and doing something totally crazy like move to Hawaii. This would have the serious disadvantage of being far from both sides of the family still, but hey -- it's Hawaii! Also not a cheap plan, though, given costs of housing and other stuff. but man, as the wind howls outside at -20 it sure is tempting...

Anyway, I think it is great that you have realized that you need a change of plan. Onward and upward. that's my slogan for 2013.

San Onofre Guy
1-2-13, 2:43pm
I harken back about 15 years ago when a coworker retired from Southern California and moved "back home". Back home to rural Georgia from where he moved when he went into the service in 1956. "Home" had a small downtown in 1956. 1996 the downtown was boarded up and shopping was at Walmart 45 minutes away. When one use accustomed to shopping at Nordstroms and eating at higher end restaraunts and being able to decide in the morning to see art at one of a half dozen wonderful worldclass museums within an hours drive, it can be a major adjustment to driving 45 minutes to shop at Walmart and eat at Denny's and drive two hours to Atlanta the big city. That coworker returned within 12 months.

Tammy
1-2-13, 11:53pm
As soon as our kids were out of school we left the rural Midwest for the urban center of phoenix. Never regretted it. Expenses don't have to go up in a city. We downsized to one car and live in a tiny place. Ride bikes a lot. Enjoy simple outdoor stuff.

ctg492
1-3-13, 4:21am
bke:
I am down at the bottom of Mi now border of Ohio. I had never been to the area before we bought here. We have moved 26 times for what always seemed good reasons at the moment. Work, excitement of the move, the markets were making it good, then a screeching halt for good reasons the opposite of all mentioned. That move North, was actually the most planned, prepared for and dreamed move ever in our entire life together. Early retirement and all. The downturn in the markets at that precise time too played into it. We watched the investments start to sink and fear of the unknown hit, so put that on top of the living choice we made and we were doomed to return to the rat race.
Funny how things work out isn't it? Where we are now, we moved here for work, which did not work out after less then a year. Any other life we would have sold and moved again. The loss of value in the home was too hard to take. It is not an area we would have picked to settle after all the years, however it is a lovely home and neighborhood. My kids are about an hour away now, so we see them as much as they or we want too. We have been here 3 years now and who knows we may stay. Work is an hour away and we look at life much differently now then at any time in the past.
Your's is a big choice to make and I wish you luck. I understand totally, what you are debating.

Selah
1-3-13, 4:49am
I have many similar elements from my life showing up in this thread. I grew up in Ann Arbor, Michigan, but never for a moment wanted to live in rural Michigan, once I saw what it was like...I knew I would be a fish out of water, so to speak! I was born in Seattle and have much of my family living there now. I lived in many big cities after college (London, Paris, Dublin, Helsinki) and then dreamed of moving to a remote little town where I could put down roots, buy an affordable house, work my behind off and live cheaply. I did that, for eight years, in Pahrump, Nevada. Soon after buying a home there (my first), the market tanked AND I had that sinking feeling of "I'm rotting here, what have I DONE?!" I felt a desperate sense, too, that if I didn't manage to get out of there, I would have wasted the majority of my adult life. It took many years to do so, but DH and I did manage to get back on track and move to a city where we feel like we fit in, even as foreigners. It's great to be living in sync with where you are in your life now, not where you used to be, or trying to live in a way you think you ought to be, or aspire to be.

Good luck on your journey in this next phase of your life. It's worth it to do the work and make the changes!

Float On
1-3-13, 8:12am
We're at the thinking stage. We've got 2.5 years to decided what we want to do next. Maybe 4.5 if the kids both decide to go to the local college (it's a college where you graduate without debt - very good deal). So many people retire to this location but I'm ready for something else.

bke
1-3-13, 9:00am
Oh my gosh, it is so good to find others who understand! All I ever hear is how evil the big city is from everyone around me! I was lectured REPEATEDLY about safety issues when people found out where we were going on our vacation. Oh and how was I possibly going to drive in all that madness?

I'm so sick of the weather playing such a roll in my life. I never worried about going out in the snow when I lived in the city.

I'll say it again, I am just so sick of settling for what is around me. Poor quality goods, lousy restaurants, piss poor entertainment, etc. And more than anything, closed minded people who are afraid of change. If you're not a straight, white christian male/female that likes to kill animals for sport and drink cheap beer by the gallon, you don't fit in here.

I don't mean to step on any toes with that statement. I respect the independence of a hard working, down to earth person that works the land and is content. I love sitting outside at night, watching the stars and enjoying the fresh air. I'll miss all the gardening stories and the surplus that is shared amongst friends.

My biggest concern is housing costs. We need to make sure we're in a decent area that doesn't cost us all of our savings. We'll buy something outright when the time comes but taxes and/or hoa costs are high in comparison to this area. I don't want to be one of those people who has no choice but to work at the age of 70.

I have two BILs that live in that area. They rent an apartment together and have for years. We're thinking of ways to include them in our move and save us all some money. If we bought a place that was decent size, but affordable without them, they could rent a room from us, help us save more money for our senior years. They both work 60 hrs a week and are quiet guys. There is also the possibility of buying something smaller, them renting it from us until we're ready to move down there and then them finding another place to live. We're definitely not making any decisions soon but at least we have options.

As much as I don't want to have to work 40 hrs. a week in the city it will still be less than what we work now. Owning a business is 24/7.

I have lots of jumbled thoughts in my brain these days. I'm nervous about doing the right thing. In a perfect world, I'd live in the city and not worry about money. We aren't big spenders with high expectations.

My heart goes out to llhamo, goldensmom, and the rest who are struggling with similar decisions. Sometimes what is best for us isn't what we want the most. The balancing of life can be so difficult.

Its also nice to hear from those of you who have met he chllenge head on and suceeded in finding something better.

We all help each other with financial issues, sharing and supporting along the way. Perhaps we'll all be able to do the same with relocating to create a simpler life.

cleaningstories
1-3-13, 3:08pm
I appreciate your honesty and bravery in reassessing a dream. My partner and I live in Los Angeles, where we practice urban farming, foraging, and various urban homesteading activities. We dream of moving to a more rural location in the next ten years, because we long to get away from the pollution and sounds of traffic, and to be able to afford more land for gardening, plus being closer to "big" nature. But I also hear the cautionary note you sound. It's important to have cultural and intellectual stimulation and to be "fed" in those ways, wherever you are, and to feel that there are like-minded people in your community. I realize how much my friends "feed" me with new ideas. What you describe also reminds me that there is no fantasy "perfect" life--everything comes with trade-offs. Thanks for sharing.

ApatheticNoMore
1-3-13, 3:50pm
Oh my gosh, it is so good to find others who understand! All I ever hear is how evil the big city is from everyone around me! I was lectured REPEATEDLY about safety issues when people found out where we were going on our vacation. Oh and how was I possibly going to drive in all that madness?

haha, safety concerns are widely overexagerated, just use common sense. Evil, well there's probably evil aspects to big cities, but yea the whole thing is evil, utterly and entirely ... >8)


I'll say it again, I am just so sick of settling for what is around me. Poor quality goods, lousy restaurants, piss poor entertainment, etc. And more than anything, closed minded people who are afraid of change. If you're not a straight, white christian male/female that likes to kill animals for sport and drink cheap beer by the gallon, you don't fit in here.

It's not for you. I don't think the restaurants would bother me but I'm used to having really good grocery stores to shop at where I can get any ingredients I might want to make stuff at home, so no restaurants, no biggie. But considering places without many restaurants probably don't have good places to shop for groceries either, it would hurt, though for non-perishables there is the net. I don't think entertainment options would bother me. I prefer nature, really do. However closed minded people would bother me. Movies, plays, art museums, I can take it or leave it, all of it frankly. But interesting people ... yea very important. The west coast ranks highest in the country on open mindedness supposedly (um in general, not any particular person or town), a definite plus if true in my view.


I have lots of jumbled thoughts in my brain these days. I'm nervous about doing the right thing. In a perfect world, I'd live in the city and not worry about money. We aren't big spenders with high expectations.

then why not do it?

pinkytoe
1-3-13, 3:55pm
We are keeping our eyes open for a smaller house and yard in our current neighborhood as another choice. The lot our house sits on is worth 3x the house and mostly lawn so it is a waste of money. I have tried to think of ways to make it profitable - food, bees, etc but working all the time, it's not going to happen. It really is pretty great to live in the middle of a large city, be able to walk or bike to three different groceries, the neighborhood park and two library branches. It has taken ten years but we now know and get together occasionally with many of our neighbors. The trees are large and things are familiar. These kind of attributes are hard to find. Maybe we should grow where we find ourselves - where we have made connections? We'll see...

Geila
1-3-13, 4:07pm
We came to the same conclusion - we like to visit the country, but don't want to live there. We love the diversity of big cities and we love living in the bay area. So we focused on retiring here and are on track to do so at a pretty young age. Ideally, we would both like to work part-time at something we enjoy and we are working on making that possible too. The healthy economy and abundant job prospects here make that a viable option. I think you are right on track - retire where you want to live. I've seen several friends retire for lower cost of living only to regret their decision. I would also consider whether it makes sense to wait the 4+ years for your son to finish school. Would he enjoy HS more in a different area? Would HS in a city improve his admission and transition to college? (In my city, high school students can take college courses while they're still in HS and get HS & college credit for them and the classes are free). Right now is a great time to buy property - the prices are low and interest rates are incredible. Don't know what it will be like in 5 years. Best of luck to you!

Minz
1-3-13, 9:08pm
I think we each have to discover for ourselves what surroundings fuels our souls.

bke
1-4-13, 9:54am
ApatheticNoMore I guess I'm a bit focused on restaurants at the moment because I spent so much time indulging in them over the holidays. Its really much more than that. Shopping for food is one thing. A few years ago I was looking for proscuitto for a pasta dish I make occasionally. I went to 4 stores before I found in and then is was definitely not of any quality.

One of the biggest things I miss is the fact that people are just people in the city. Not black, hispanic, gay, jewish,or zebra-striped sand eaters. Around here its still common to hear all those terrible words: n**ger, Fa**ot, etc. The women still grow up believing their number one purpose in life is to find a mate and breed whether its what is best for all involved or not.

Watergoddess: Ds feels strongly that he doesn't want to switch schools and we've promised him we won't do that to him. He is a straight A student, has lots of friends, and gets treated wonderfully at school. He also will be allowed to take college courses during high school which is great for the kids. I'm afraid that a bigger school would be overwhelming. I think he would just kind of get lost in the crowd. Its tough to be a teenager and I don't want to make it worse by yanking him out of his comfortable environment especially since he's excelling there.

We have a payed for house that is up for sale. Sold it once, got it back and thought we had is sold a second time. When we finally get rid of it, we'll be able to pay off the restaurant in full. At that time, we will certainly start looking into buying something in Palatine. I have a realtor in that area kind of looking for what we think we want and I've looked on line at several places.

My BILs would be more than willing to move into whatever buy whenever its available, pay rent, and keep an eye on things. We're just going to use time to our advantage and hopefully get a good deal on the right place.

Since we're not going anywhere immediately, we've just decided to accept life for what it is at the moment and to save as much money as possible while we're here. Every penny saved now is one less to worry about down the road.

HappyHiker
1-4-13, 5:51pm
We left the beautiful San Francisco Bay area about 9 years ago for a venture into the unknown...though we'd loved it there for 30 years, as we grew older, the pace, traffic, noise and density began to make us weary.

So, we sold our house, most of our belongings and headed off in our mini-van, with dog in tow to go--where?

3000 miles later, we ended up in the Southern Outer Banks of North Carolina.. For the first several years, we'd wondered what the heck we'd done. It took us time to de-compress, slow down, and feel at home. Where was the sushi, the Thai food, the hipness?

Now, we wouldn't trade our adopted new hometown for anything (well maybe, a small villa in the south of France or Tuscany).

Fully engaged in the community with volunteer work, having made dear friends, and in love with the endless beaches and kindness of the people, we've nested and are at peace. And our area has grown--there is now sushi, Thai, Middle Eastern and Greek food!!

There is enough here, culturally, with rich veins of art, literature, music and diverse people from all over, to keep us stimulated and alive.

But it could have been otherwise.

Spartana
1-6-13, 1:28pm
Has anyone else decided to switch horses in the middle of the stream? Most people I know decided to move to the country, slowing down and decreasing their expenses as they age. I'd be interested in hearing from anyone who has decided to dive back into the hustle and bustle of city life.
.

I did - sort of. I quit my job when I was 42, sold my house in the city (40 miles south of downtown L.A.) and downsized to a small cabin in a mountain resort town at about a third of the cost of my old place. I did this so I could be work-free a few years (lived off savings) do adventure-type travel, play sports competetivly and do physically challenging activities while I was still young enough. I figured I'd go back to work after 5 or so years - after I depleted most of my savings. I ended up retireing instead since I discovered the concept of simple living and ended up needing much less money then I thought I did. But I really wasn't happy living in a small town environment - even a beautiful ski and lake resort town. Eventually, after lots of moving about and trying different things, I decided to move back to my old city south of L.A. and buy a house. I did so with my sister so it cut back on expenses to the same level as if I was buying a place in the mountains. And while I don't "love" the area, it's a good compromise as country living or small town living just isn't for me. I'm close to alot of outdoor and indoor recreation, lots of social opportunities (I'm single and childless), entertainment, cultural, etc... But I'm still only 90 minutes from the same mountains I lived in before so can go up and stay there a long as I like. So city dwelling - at least small city dwelling - is the life for me on a day to day basis. I have everything I want near by and I can go out into the country or wilderness for adventures anytime I want. However, if I had to go back to work even part time to afford to live here (and I would if sis and I didn't buy a place together) I wouldn't do it. Or I'd find another way like getting a tiny studio or one bedroom condo instead of a house. So that's probably the main thing you have to look at - is staying in the work force another 10 years worth living in the city for you?

ETA: This place isn't my last place - more like my second to last.It serves a great function now - I can travel as long as I want while sis, who works, watchs the house and my dog. It saves us both money and the house is a good investment (bought it with cash), etc... But what comes next??? I have no idea. I'm unsure of what I will do, where I will go, or how I will live after we decide to sell this place (will hold it at least 2 years). I will most likely end up in a small condo in some small city (but not small town) or maybe I'll just rent somewhere (or various somewheres if possible) until I can't care for myself anymore and then it's off to the retirement or nursing home for gruel and bedpans :-)!

rose
1-7-13, 11:52pm
Happy Hiker,
Enjoyed your story. I gave up my rented condo in Washington State in August and am now traveling around the U.S. Avoiding the long cold winter. I have many places in the U.S. on my list to see so I'm doing some of that. Am hopeful that I will find a place I would like to live with more moderate weather. I liked San Luis Obispo a lot but it is very expensive. I'm looking forward to spending some time on the east coast. How have you adapted to the humidity? Like Spartana, I like cities. I like water also. The east coast looks appealing to me because it is denser, better public transportation, and, having lived in the west my whole life, would give me new places to explore.

Spartana
1-8-13, 1:42pm
Happy Hiker,
Enjoyed your story. I gave up my rented condo in Washington State in August and am now traveling around the U.S. Avoiding the long cold winter. I have many places in the U.S. on my list to see so I'm doing some of that. Am hopeful that I will find a place I would like to live with more moderate weather. I liked San Luis Obispo a lot but it is very expensive. I'm looking forward to spending some time on the east coast. How have you adapted to the humidity? Like Spartana, I like cities. I like water also. The east coast looks appealing to me because it is denser, better public transportation, and, having lived in the west my whole life, would give me new places to explore.You're living my dream Rose!And Happy Hiker does live in a great area - but I already knew that :-)! I love the east coast a lot. I like he 4 seasons and even the humid summers. There are some great places that are more temperate like the Mid-Atlantic states. I personally love the coastal areas of North Carolina. I was stationed on a small barrier island called Oak Island near Southport and Wilmington and loved it. Also stationed in Yorktown, VA too and loved that area I like small cities rather then large cities myself). Oak Island, like alot of the coastal and outer banks areas of NC, use to be a sleepy little island but has turned into a resort now with lots of big condos and golf courses but still has some of the quaintness of the Carolina coastal towns left. Hot and touristy in summer though - and those pesky hurricanes occasionally :-)! But the whole outer Banks area is great to check out - as well as Virgina and Maryland. The coastal areas of the mid-atlantic states are much less expensive housing-wise then anywhere in Calif and probably Oregon and Washington too - which are colder and wetter in a different way then the east coast (non-stop foggy drizzle rather then fast moving thunderstorms). The mid-atlantic coastal areas (or inland around the Chesapeake Bay) are also more populated with both small and large cities and towns within easy distance.. The coastal areas of Norcal, Oregon and Washington - while beautiful - are fairly remote and unpopulated.

bke
1-9-13, 9:32am
I really appreciate everyone's imput. I would love to live along the east coast again but that isn't going to happen. Dh has no desire to be near the water-actually he's dead set against it.

We're beginning to realize that renting an apartment might be the smarter option for us when we move. There are some really nice complexes in that area. Buying something while living so far away would be difficult. I want to make sure we don't jump into a purchase and regret it.

Our main thought is that if we don't spend a third of our retirement money on purchasing a house or condo, that extra money will continue to earn interest and we might be able to quit working completely at an earlier time. As we all know, real estate is not the guaranteed money maker it once was.

I also like the idea of being able to relocate from one neighborhood to another if things start to deteriorate. If my savings isn't invested in a home, my options remain wide open. I can go anywhere and do anything as long as the cash doesn't run out. We're thinking about working enough to pay our day to day expenses and not touch the savings for as long as possible or until we're confident we can live for the remainder of our lives without worrying about money.

Another thought is about the BILs. They are never going to make as much money as we do. It would be really easy to help them out a little at a time with groceries, their share of the electric bill, rides here and there, and realize that we're depleting our savings by being too nice. Then eventually if they decide to move on, we're stuck without enough $$$ and no financial help. So I think we're going to not include them in the move. They'll be nearby and we'll do for each other as family should but not actually live with them.

pinkytoe
1-9-13, 11:36am
Dh has no desire to be near the water Might be a smart thing since climate change may continue to have devastating effects on coastal areas.

JaneV2.0
1-9-13, 12:03pm
Might be a smart thing since climate change may continue to have devastating effects on coastal areas.

I can't imagine living far from the coast; good thing I float like a cork.

Spartana
1-10-13, 12:21pm
I really appreciate everyone's imput. I would love to live along the east coast again but that isn't going to happen. Dh has no desire to be near the water-actually he's dead set against it.

We're beginning to realize that renting an apartment might be the smarter option for us when we move. There are some really nice complexes in that area. Buying something while living so far away would be difficult. I want to make sure we don't jump into a purchase and regret it.

Our main thought is that if we don't spend a third of our retirement money on purchasing a house or condo, that extra money will continue to earn interest and we might be able to quit working completely at an earlier time. As we all know, real estate is not the guaranteed money maker it once was.

I also like the idea of being able to relocate from one neighborhood to another if things start to deteriorate. If my savings isn't invested in a home, my options remain wide open. I can go anywhere and do anything as long as the cash doesn't run out. We're thinking about working enough to pay our day to day expenses and not touch the savings for as long as possible or until we're confident we can live for the remainder of our lives without worrying about money.

Another thought is about the BILs. They are never going to make as much money as we do. It would be really easy to help them out a little at a time with groceries, their share of the electric bill, rides here and there, and realize that we're depleting our savings by being too nice. Then eventually if they decide to move on, we're stuck without enough $$$ and no financial help. So I think we're going to not include them in the move. They'll be nearby and we'll do for each other as family should but not actually live with them.

I've also considered renting full time as an option to buying once I am pet-free and sell the current house. I don't have anything in my life like spouse, kids, job, family holding me to one area and doing the snowbird thing with renting is an option I have considered. Especially doing it in different places by renting vacation homes/apt so I don't have to deal with moving furniture or getting utilities started or long term leases. There are tons of off-season and slightly off season vacation rental places available on a monthly rent that is MUCH MUCH cheaper then a weekly rate. It's the one thing I recommend to anyone who is considering relocating to a new area and aren't sure if they will want to live there permanently or not. It's also a great way to "travel" around the world and stay in some great places to try them out for a month or two or 6 or 12 without all the hassle of moving everytime. I don't think long term renting is always a great financial move all the time compared to buying, but the freedoms it gives are great. Plus, once you add in all the taxes, insurances, extra utilities, maintenance and repairs (and your time to do them) and the cost to buy and sell a house (thousands often), then living in a rental starts to look pretty darn good! Plus you can usually live in a nicer area then you may be able to afford to buy.

Another idea I have talked about before is something between living in the city and living in the counrty or suburbs - and that is living in a seasonal resort town if you don't have to have a job - or can work a seasonal low paying one. The cost to live full time is usually inexpensive (buy or rent) as long as it's not Aspen - ish, you often have the small town vibe but located in a condensed area with all the city amenities (but on a smaller scale) within walking or biking distance, and it's usually somewhere that is gorgeous most of the year. I lived in a samll mountain ski and lake town and it had the best of both worlds - small town and city - but was surrounded by Nat. Forest on all sides.

awakenedsoul
1-10-13, 7:36pm
One thing that's helped me with living in a small town mentality is finding classes that interest you. I used to drive to Hollywood to study Russian ballet. The teacher was awesome, and it really expanded my knowledge. Right now I'm taking a knitting class from a woman from Germany. She's a real master. She designs her own patterns, and has excellent attention to detail. She drives up here from Burbank. I feel really inspired and motivated again. It's amazing what a dose of art, culture, and creativity can do. The people in the class are really neat, too. Most of them are teachers. They're very smart, and all have a good sense of humor.

rose
1-10-13, 8:35pm
.

We're beginning to realize that renting an apartment might be the smarter option for us when we move. There are some really nice complexes in that area. Buying something while living so far away would be difficult. I want to make sure we don't jump into a purchase and regret it.

Our main thought is that if we don't spend a third of our retirement money on purchasing a house or condo, that extra money will continue to earn interest and we might be able to quit working completely at an earlier time. As we all know, real estate is not the guaranteed money maker it once was.

I also like the idea of being able to relocate from one neighborhood to another if things start to deteriorate. If my savings isn't invested in a home, my options remain wide open. I can go anywhere and do anything as long as the cash doesn't run out. We're thinking about working enough to pay our day to day expenses and not touch the savings for as long as possible or until we're confident we can live for the remainder of our lives without worrying about money.

.

I rented a condo for the last three years. It was such a nice place and great location and I rented it for about half of what it would have cost me to own it (for mortgage, $250 homeowners and $200 property tax). I had mostly owner neighbors so the tenants mostly stayed put. It was kept up well. I had the benefits without the cost.

I've been renting for years because I don't know where I want to live. I expect I'll buy again someday. But I have to say I do not miss home maintenance....it is never ending, as you all know. Frees up time to do other things.

I don't have husband, job, grandchildren, property. In a way it is TOO much freedom...hard to make choices when you can go anywhere. My son wants to live in warmer climate too and he is single. Maybe I can talk him into following. If not, that's ok too.

I have been on the road for a little over a month. Expect to be on the road two more months before I have to return home to take care of some business. This is a test for me. I usually want to go "home" after a bit but I have no home right now. I've always had a dream of living in different parts of the country for a months at a time in short-term rentals like Spartana talks about in her post. I'm doing ok being on the road so far. Moving around gets tiresome but I get energized by new climates, food and new things to see also. Ups and downs. It does appeal to me to rent something for 4-6 months in places I like. I'd like to have more down time. We will see how it goes...

bke
1-12-13, 6:09pm
If I was a single woman again, I would be hoppin' all over the country! I love to explore new places and things. But, I chose to have a family and don't consider it a hardship to put down a few roots as long as their not too deep!

A neighbor of ours thought they had their house sold this past week but found out that it appraised for about 25% less than expected. If that means our house and possibly the restaurant is worth that little, we might not be flying the coop as quickly or as easily as we thought. Thank goodness we have a few years from that perspective.

More than anything, I hope the second half of life offers more options than we have now.