Giving away the tough stuff

[MamaM]

What items/things have you given away/donated/sold that maybe a few months ago or a year ago you were holding onto for dear life?

Me:
1. Jewelry- I let go of some big pieces that I coveted just a few months ago.
2. Shoes- 13 pairs in GREAT condition but were for the fantasy me.
3. Items for the house- I found I prefer photography over store bought pictures I was adamant I so loved.
4. An Ann Klein winter coat- I wore once and I just don't need it here when I have 2 others. I used to dream about that coat.

[lhamo]

For me one of the hardest things I ever did and will probably ever do was getting rid of my academic book collection. I had literally TONS of books that I had spent thousands of dollars on. But after DH and I decided to enter non-profit jobs rather than staying in academia, I rarely looked at them and the prospect of paying to move them in conjunction with a transcontinental move was just not worth it in terms of life energy. In the end it wasn't so much the actual getting rid of the books that was hard -- I actually made back a fair amount of money by selling a large proportion through amazon, and the rest I donated to a very focused library collection where other people with research interests in my fairly specialized area could make use of them. The big thing was the symbolic impact. Giving up the books was essentially a confession/decision that I was never going back to the academic life. That was hard. But necessary. In the end there are a couple of books I wish I'd kept/brought with me, but most of the rest have not been missed.

DH insisted on keeping his books. We paid quite a bit to send them to my mom's, where they still sit in boxes and on shelves, not touched except for the shelving process for over a decade. We'll have to deal with them eventually. I'm glad I dealt with mine already.

lhamo

[MamaM]

"Giving up the books was essentially a confession/decision that I was never going back to the academic life. That was hard." I SO get this right now. I am trying to move out of the corporate life and a lot of what is leaving is that part of me. I am really just beginning to accept that I am going to make this change. Step one, I guess. : )

[leslieann]

Lhamo, I did the same thing. I left my academic job for private practice and went through a process (at least twice) of book purging. I am still not finished. there is really no reason for me to hold onto a number of titles on qualitative research as I have no reason to expect I'll be doing that work, or even really thinking about that work, in my future. I have (unfortunately) substituted some books for the ones I let go but at least these have more likely value to me at present. It took me some time and reflection to realize that by releasing those books I was releasing an image of myself that I had held onto for a long, long time.

There are other things that are like that, too. At this age, I have to consider which of several yet-unrealized dreams are going to be likely and which are not the place for my energy. I have stuff (mostly books) related to all of those things.

I also notice that I am not as clear about releasing objects as I was. The house is bigger and there is actually room to store stuff but I used to be happy to let things go despite having room. When we were in a tiny house (before the renovation) there was no question. Now the actual process of decluttering (the basement) is harder. I do have a sense that stuff clogs up my life even if it isn't in the way, though, so I'll keep working on letting things go....

Jewelry is hard. Where to send it? I have a few pieces of "fine" jewelry; actually nice stones but small. Do I just send to the thrift store? I don't think anyone I know would want them but maybe that's the question I should ask instead.

[happystuff]

There are other things that are like that, too. At this age, I have to consider which of several yet-unrealized dreams are going to be likely and which are not the place for my energy. I have stuff (mostly books) related to all of those things.

This is where I am finding myself, also. But at this point in time, I am finding it so exciting! Maybe because I'm making decisions (even though they are long-term and not actually in effect yet) about "what I want to be when I grow... older" - lol. Or maybe it is just realizing that I DO still have dreams that actually ARE possible!

[MamaM]

Can you pawn the jewelry? I know that's not a nice word but we did that with some old gold and ended up paying for our wedding rings this way. :)