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CaseyMiller
2-2-13, 4:11pm
Just curious if anyone else has ever had to work with someone like this and how you dealt with them if you had?

Work place manipulator - my definition is a co-worker/peer that revels in their ability to manipulate the actions of those around them. This manipulation far transcends the traits of motivated/ambitious type A coworkers or even the detailed perfectionist type that drives everyone nuts.

The workplace manipulator does not try to influence the actions of those of around them for the purpose of achieving work place goals. No, the workplace manipulator messes with people simply for the joy being able to push people to do something different. They revel in the successful manipulation in some sort of nutty control freak way that I'll never understand.

The manipulator takes any push back as a direct challenge and proceeds to make it their top priority to force change even when the change is meaningless. They keep pushing and pushing to exhaustion.

I used to manage a somewhat complex process used by approximately 30 people. All thirty, except one, successfully worked within the parameters of the process. The exception, the manipulator, consistently (almost daily) submitted requests for process change or additional functionality. Any push back from me resulted in a greater push from the manipulator. These types are adroit at their manipulation techniques so he often won in his requested changes. To be clear, the process was working good for all except this person. No one else in the process said one word about the need for change.

The interesting thing about these workplace manipulator's is that I found the more I tried placate them and do their bidding, the more they would try to manipulate me. There really is no satisfying them.

MamaM
2-2-13, 4:32pm
Yes, my current supervisor. She has been with the company for 11 years, me- 8 months. I have come in and rocked the 40 people who worked for me world's..in a good way. She has to constantly manipulate things to make me look bad. So I finally called her out on it in a meeting one day. I was right and she was wrong. Period. I also let my boss know her true demeanor and whether or not he believes me, so what. I came from the angle that she does not have the best interest of the hospital in mind, only trying to figure out how to undermine me, look busy when she is not and keep getting paid for doing nothing. Here is my perspective: I came and learned in my job. I have had a complete education in the first 4 months and I am happy with my progress and the direction of the department. People like me and have said I treat them with respect, unlike her, who treats them like 5 year olds. She will always be that way and I am flexible enough to learn, grow and move on. I will never make her happy, even though I just spent 8 weeks negotiating a new contract for her wit ha $3 an hour payraise and a better title. She is still not happy and tries to manipulate my boss against me. I am just me and do my thing. As long as I justify my reasons to my boss, I stopped worrying about her.

Lainey
2-2-13, 9:14pm
CaseyMiller,
I think you hit the nail on the head about the more you try to placate them, the more they try to manipulate you. It is a no-win situation. Best thing is, as others have said in other workplace situations, to document everything. Maybe if senior leadership sees that these constant requests are costing the company money and not producing any more efficiency or savings, they will back your decision to say No.

In my experience, it's usually best to get these kinds of power play scenarios handled quickly, because as you accurately said, for them it's the love of the game, not the actual change they claim to want. Good luck.

redfox
2-3-13, 12:31am
Sounds sociopathic to me.

bae
2-3-13, 12:39am
Fire them.

CaseyMiller
2-3-13, 1:56am
Yes, my current supervisor.

I've worked for some micro managers before but never directly for a manipulator like I described. It was my nightmare that somehow I would end up working for one of them as they all seem to strive for management positions. There is no way I would last with one being my direct supervisor.

CaseyMiller
2-3-13, 2:09am
Fire them.

If I had the authority that is exactly what I would have done. Their impact on me was minimal compared to the havoc they poured on everyone else. Interestingly, the few that I have run into all seemed to share the same characteristics of being smart and talented. Surprisingly, their manipulative tendencies helped them in their career at first but eventually these same tendencies prevented their advancement.

To be clear though, I've only run into of a few of these type manipulators during the decades I've been working in a corporate environment.

lhamo
2-6-13, 5:59am
I'm wondering if your manipulator has somehow managed to hack into this site -- my post about the "wisdom of psychopaths" podcast and several replies seem to have disappeared. Spooooooky.......

Zoe Girl
2-6-13, 10:01am
OOh no,

Not so much at work but in life I have had a few of these types. They make you CRAZY if you are in a position that is affected by them. It is hard to get out of it, but often a real clear look at if they actually have the power they are trying to have can do wonders. I was thinking about the case where I knew someone worked a job he hated, but we very much were dependant on it. So I made an effort to every day for a month say something nice or otherwise try to give a boost. At the end of the month his behavior towards me was horrible, it really deteriorated. I would have thought I was crazy for a long time without that experiment,

Right now at work I have the troubled middle schoolers who seem compelled to try and attend my after school programs, okay only a couple of them but that is enough for a small group. One dropped out yesterday of a challenging tech program and I am much mroe comfortable honestly. I have to tell one to leave because he has stolen from after school program rooms and then snuck back in yesterday while I was busy with another program. So these kids may just been young and growing through this but my role is to honestly not be liked, and I am doing it well. Some kids are a little scared of me, and that is okay. Others who are goofy and gave me some trouble are now understanding that I am there for great programs and will not hold grudges against what they did before, just deal with them fairly today. Still it is hard to see this type of behavior starting at 12.