Work/life balance struggle

[rerun]

Of course, everyone struggles with this I know. I have been working part time/per diem as a PT for almost 3.5 years now. When my first DS was born I left a management position that I really enjoyed due to moving for my DH's job and the commute being too far and also wanting something less stressful. I am now feeling like I am just floating through, no specific schedule, get work when I can and it has been driving me crazy! I am definitely routine girl. I mostly end up with 15-17 hours per week. My flexibility is great for the kids/DH and I don't have the guilt of having to call in when my little ones are sick. I feel like I want to settle back into a more permanent position but fear the stress of juggling everything. My DH teaches at a college and is a musician so he can't p/u anymore of the household stuff if I were to work more. I am thinking if we get someone to clean that house that would help. Just struggling with this decision. I know I would enjoy the idea of having the same job, same place to go to with patients I can actually see on a regular basis. The hardest thing to give up would be being able to take off whenever I want. I don't know how I would handle asking for time off and not getting it. I am so spoiled I know! I just need advice from those who have been through this. My sons are 6 and 3 and I am 42. I worked for years before having children so I think it is just in my nature to want to have a career.

[Dhiana]

With all of my husband's moves for work I stopped working myself and it took me about 5 years before I started feeling like it might be ok for me not to work. Being overseas I don't feel the pressure so much but those few months I was back in the states and still not working were difficult.

There is a lot of expectation that everyone should work. Are you sure it is just an internal question you have about wanting a regular schedule, etc.?

What if you did take a full-time position? What would be the negative consequences to you and your family if after 2 - 3 months you decide it wasn't the right decision? Would it be possible to pick up where you left off? Or would it just be too late? While this is an important life decision it doesn't necessarily have to be permanent, try it on and see if the shoe fits.

If you tell the cleaning assistant upfront about being on a trial basis, why not hire someone to see if it fits in your situation?

Good Luck with your decision!

[Miss Cellane]

How about a permanent part-time job? They might be harder to find, but I'll bet they are out there.

PT is physical therapy, correct? Another option would be to do at-home PT in the patient's house. My nephew has had in-home OT and PT since he came home from the hospital 12 years ago. He had the same PT for the first six years and has had only 2 in the six years since he aged out of the first provider's certification. The benefits to this are that you get to make your own schedule. And I know my SIL and DB are grateful for the excellent care that Nephew gets, so they are more than willing to be flexible when the therapists have scheduling conflicts.

[Fawn]

Where I work, physical therapists are in such demand that they can pretty much set their hours--so you could pick, say, M-W-F, four hours, six hours, eight hours/day.
Hire the cleaning done. Especially with little ones, this just takes such a load off. I did, until my kids were old enough to do the work themselves, and then I paid them to do it (about 1/2 what I paid the cleaners.)
Balance is so important, and an on-going moving target.

[Gardenarian]

Hi rerun -
my dh is also a musician and teacher and I have worked part-time since my daughter was born when I was 41 - 13 years ago, hard to believe! The house is never what I would call really clean (well maybe one day a year) but we muddle through. I chose to homeschool, and so have stayed part-time (I'm a librarian.) I have recently been offered a full-time position and think I'm going to take it - like you, I enjoy working (especially when dd was small - needed to get the heck out of the house!) I am not positive I'll be taking the job but I'm a little burned out on being part-time and ready for either some new career challenges - or retirement!

Trying to figure out which path best aligns with my simple living values; I'm thinking I might take the full-time position for a year or so and then retire. I actually ran this through a decision making website called "Let Simon Decide (http://www.letsimondecide.com/)". Though I wouldn't let a websiste make my decisions for me it did bring to light some issues I hadn't considered. (Let Simon Decide doesn't work well with Internet Explorer - it worked well with Firefox.)

Your are not spoiled! Anyone taking care of a 3 & 6 year old already has a 24/7 job - of course you want flexibility!

[lhamo]

It's never easy to juggle, but I found it a lot easier to balance work/home life once my kids were in school part time. We also have a part-time helper who comes in 3-6 every day to clean, cook dinner and keep an eye on the kids if DH and I aren't home (DH works mostly from home, but travels about one week a month. I typically get home around 4:00-4:30). Here in China that help is relatively inexpensive (we just gave our helper a raise, and currently pay around $325/month), but I would pay more for it if we were in the US -- it is SOOOOO worth it not to have to worry about staying on top of housecleaning and not to have to cook every night. Might be hard to find someone willing to cook in the US, though.

I agree with the suggestions above that you should give it a try and see how it goes. You won't know otherwise. Some people are at their best when they work outside the home. I know that is the case for me -- I would suck at being a SAHM. You are fortunate in that your profession can accomodate part time work relatively easy. I would start picking up more shifts and see how that goes rather than jumping straight back into something full time and relatively inflexible.

Good luck making your decision and let us know how it goes.

[rerun]

I love all the wisdom in this forum! Thanks for all of the feedback. I do think I will try to ramp up my hours and just see how it goes. I am lucky to have the job I do and the ability to make decent money part time or per diem. I am sort of split on one side trying to keep it simple (which is never simple in itself :)) and the other side being ambitious and enjoying leadership roles and actually being told I am a good at it. I am not talking crazy hours either. Thanks again for all the thoughts.