View Full Version : How do you react to life?
I think that there is a lot of merit in this thinking regardless of who actually coined the actual words. What do you think?
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http://lifehacker.com/5873131/life-is-10-of-what-happens-to-me-and-90-of-how-i-react-to-it?comment=45697426#comments
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe:
"I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element.
It is my personal approach that creates the climate.
It is my daily mood that makes the weather.
I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous.
I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal.
In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or dehumanized.
If we treat people as they are, we make them worse.
If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming."
Caveat: Also attributed to Dr. Haim G. Ginott, with slightly different wording.
But the message is the same, and a VERY powerful one if you can adjust your mindset to live by it. (I certainly wish I could do better.) 1
catherine
5-23-13, 10:40am
I completely agree with that. 100%. That's what Victor Frankl said in Man's Search for Meaning, that's what Stephen Covey said in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, that's what James Allen said in As a Man Thinketh.
Those are some of my favorite books. Covey's book changed my life because I decided to choose my response to life and so I changed and so my life changed.
I like the way Goethe expressed it, though. Thanks for sharing!
It's not always easy to follow these words in life...but, I try. And, everytime I do my life is so much sweeter for me and those who share it with me! :)
Attitude is 99%. I sometimes find myself feeling down about a situation and I have to rely on that other voice reminds me that my reaction is a conscious choice.
I try to do that in my life....but I usually shut down and retreat into a book when I am agitated or worried. Once I snap out of that, I try to help another person and try to find the best in everything.
"If we treat people as they are, we make them worse.
If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming."
I see this the other way around and I'm willing to hear other takes on it.
"If we treat people as they are, we make them worse.
If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming."
I see this the other way around and I'm willing to hear other takes on it.
Interesting. I see your point.
So, if we treat/accept people as they are, they are free to be what they are capable of becoming.
If we treat people as they ought to be, that requires judgement on our part, which will diminish their own "suchness" Our helping them become what they are capable of isn't our job. Our "job" is to treat people with the sentiment of Namaste: to see them as a person with the Divine within. Recognize their divinity, without judging them, and that will help you.
Tussiemussies
5-23-13, 4:55pm
I too believe that my reaction to people and circumstances is a choice and if I choose the negative, I am the one who suffers. Spiritually, mentally and physically. I love reading the books of James Allen, who has brought this out so clearly in his writings.
In a group I am involved in they always stress -- observe, don't react. :)
All too often I am forced to deal what has been so eloquently explained as a Roomful of Monkeys: http://jason.wells.me/3551
A world that makes no sense and leads me to ask WT!? Any suggestions such as let's all climb the ladder at the same time so no one is left at the bottom in a cold shower is met with blank stares.
I'm curious how Goethe would handle these monkeys :)
In one of the Great Courses called Effective Communication, the professor talks about the 6 views of an individual - the public, the private and the unknown about oneself. The general view that the public has of the same individual, the private perception and the unknown.
In the monkeys, they are not communicating and choosing the known, the private or the unknown but reacting based on ritual alone - if someone goes up a ladder, beat them up.
Sorry to disagree but I don't think that really changes Goethe's views in any way. He is talking about active choices.
I had a specific Bible verse pop in my head within the last 2 weeks.
It came to me as I first woke up one morning recently. It really started my day off right and I have been consciously trying to say it very first thing when I awake.
Psalm 118:24 "This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it."
It has helped me tremendously recently - a real blessing that it entered the area between my ears without me even trying it was just there one day.... I really needed it.
I'm not disagreeing with Goethe's view in any way, I'm curious as to what active choice he would make to handle the situation.
Reading statements such as Goethe's above sound wonderful until I have to put them into practice in real life. For me to truly comprehend things it helps to have real world examples of implementation.
Like solving a math problem solving for x. I would always ask the math teacher what is x? They would simply parrot back the equation on the board when I needed them to point out an actual 'x' in the real world.
Real world application I think is what I'm trying to say.
I'm not disagreeing with Goethe's view in any way, I'm curious as to what active choice he would make to handle the situation.
Reading statements such as Goethe's above sound wonderful until I have to put them into practice in real life. For me to truly comprehend things it helps to have real world examples of implementation.
Like solving a math problem solving for x. I would always ask the math teacher what is x? They would simply parrot back the equation on the board when I needed them to point out an actual 'x' in the real world.
Real world application I think is what I'm trying to say.
I can't speak for Goethe or anyone else for that matter. Having said that, if I'm around others who seek to control my behavior by physical force, I can endure it or conform to it...at first glance.
If I'm a clever monkey, I might wait until the others are asleep or eating something else and quickly get it. I could steal another monkey's food and throw it on to the stairs and use the chaos that ensues as a diversion to get the banana. I could start climbing the stairs and throw my poop at whoever tries to stop me. :sick: (I've heard they do that sometimes). :laff:
A conditioned mind doesn't have much capacity to introduce novelty, monkey or not.:treadmill:
A less conditioned mind is not so automatic and reactive.
!Splat!
I've seen that these 'situations', are scenes we play in a kind of drama/school. Our script is our conditioned beliefs and assumptions. If we get tired of the same old role, we unlearn the script and graduate IN the school as a director i.e. self-director. Monkeys seemingly can't do that and neither can anyone else who is unknowingly re-ACTING.
I recently reacted to a question to which I, in retrospect, could have chosen multiple win-win ways to resolve the situation. I saw an either/or solution that involved me or not. This is always a sign of a 'schooled' mind. I felt as though I was being put on the spot to give someone a ride. Had I seen that the other saw me as being a potential problem solver and that it didn't have to include me, I would have been more effective.
I also would have felt no pressure or stress.:cool:
I was working from an old script and made a monkey of myself.:doh:
to xmac - the perfect monkey emoticon. I just can't help myself... I'm not sure how this plays into the conversation, but a monkey can't resist goofing around...
1262
to xmac - the perfect monkey emoticon. I just can't help myself... I'm not sure how this plays into the conversation, but a monkey can't resist goofing around...
1262
I know exactly what you mean...goofing around or turning around. :moon:
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