experiencing events without the reactions you expect

[Zoe Girl]

We were discussing this in our meditation group last night. It was that with regular practice of meditation things shift and what we expect is not always what happens but it is okay. One person was talking about how he still watched and liked sports but he was not as caught up in it. He could actually not watch pro sports after feeling he was missing something big if he missed a game he was really missing something. I have also experienced this different times, you are in the middle of something terrible and you experience a moment of joy. I had to mostly let go of the idea that it is wrong to experience that in the middle of some type of difficulty.

Today my experience is that my car almost broke down. It was showing the check engine light most of this week but I simply could not get it in the shop. So it was on my first thing list for Tuesday, and today it went from hiccups to total shuddering and struggling going up hills. Since we were supposed to hike in the mountain, driving UP, we had to turn around and find a shop open, first stopping at home to pick up cash because I don't have credit, and then driving shuddering down the street. At least there was a shop I knew, I have had headlights go out this month and they do those and oil changes for me. Bottom line is that my spark plug wires are unusual and I will not get my car until sometime Tuesday. That means holiday weekend with no car, well my daughter has her car but she works and needs it. I can walk to a grocery store and already bought food, have a ride to church in the morning, it is all okay. I even took the bus to meet a visiting friend for dinner (okay I can understand why my kids really do not like that bus route).

I am feeling tremendously relaxed about it, I am going to work in the garden and cook on Monday but knowing I can't run around and do errands and go overboard is really nice. Kinda like getting snowed in.

[Tussiemussies]

So great Zoe that the meditation is bringing you into a different state of consciousness, that is really beneficial. Glad to hear it.

[Zoe Girl]

Thank you Tussie, I tell people the first decade is the hardest but I wasn;t that consistent then. I think also some maturity and a good teacher (I am almost finding one) helps when you have these experiences where you are not feeling what you expect and are disturbed by it.

[Tussiemussies]

You know I never thought that having a good teacher was key -- just doing the practice -- but after reading your post I can see what a help it is to have someone with experience to turn to when you don't quite understanding what is happening. Glad you have an almost good teacher!

[Xmac]

I can relate. I recently had to slam on my brakes (which hasn't happened like this in years) and I noticed that after stopping an inch or two away from the car in front of me that I was as calm as if I dropped a napkin. Before tuning into the 'inner-net', it would have made my heart pound out of my chest.

[Tussiemussies]

I can relate. I recently had to slam on my brakes (which hasn't happened like this in years) and I noticed that after stopping an inch or two away from the car in front of me that I was as calm as if I dropped a napkin. Before tuning into the 'inner-net', it would have made my heart pound out of my chest.

So great! I love hearing about other's experiences with this!

[MudPuppy]

Thanks for bringing this up, Zoe Girl! I have only been practicing meditation for a few months, and no teacher at all as I live in a very isolated location.

But I had my first moment like this just last week -- a woman stopped me in a parking lot with a sob story asking for money. In the past I would have either turned her away and felt guilty for the rest of the day because what if her story is true, or given her something and then felt used for the rest of the day because she was probably lying.

This time, I listened to her whole story, then looked in my wallet to see what cash I had. The bill on top was a 20 and I just handed it to her. I realized it didn't matter to me if her story was true or not. And I went the rest of the day without worrying about it at all.

[shadowmoss]

Funny, Zen Habits has a free download on a book he wrote on pretty much this same thing. I read it yesterday.
http://zenhabits.net/little-book/

[Tussiemussies]

Mudpuppy, what a great experience. To be free from the guilt no matter which decision you made is so freeing, I would think.

Just love this thread.

[Tussiemussies]

Thanks shadow for the book URL, when I get a chance I am going to read that!

[RosieTR]

Glad the mediation is changing your life, Zoe Girl! After all, if your normal reaction would have been stress/worry/anger/frustration all weekend, would that fix the car? The car is having trouble whether or not you are annoyed, so enjoying the weekend is great. I must confess I saw a small effect just from reading a couple of Buddhist philosophy books for a couple weeks, though I need to work harder at making time to learn to meditate, because I'd like to be calmer when stuff like this happens, too. My car's clutch totally died over the course of the drive home on Wed...I tried to focus on the good side (like it didn't die last month in a blizzard, and it got me all the way home rather than partway or embarrassing me by dying while I was carpooling). But it was work, not just oh, yeah, this happened. So, even if it feels weird to actually embody the overused phrase "it is what it is", it sounds like it's a good thing!

[Zoe Girl]

What is strange about this is that I have been practicing fof 25+years. During that time sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't, but the idea of it 'working' is fundamentallly wrong anyway. Overall it has made my life very different than others, however with some of the total sh** that has happened the last few years I think no one would every notice how much worse I could be acting or feeling.

It has been in the last 2 years of consistent practice that one major thing has changed, I realize there is a lot of sh** in the world and this practice absolutely works. AND it doesn't matter if I reach some self imposed goal or act like someone else thinks a Buddhist practitioner should. I like the Against the Stream groups for that lack of traditional style, but I feel way undertattooed around some of them,LOL

[Xmac]

but I feel way undertattooed around some of them,LOL

You've got Dermatological Inscription Deficit (DIDn't).:~)

[lhamo]

I don't really do meditation, but as I get older I find I am trying hard to be less reactive to the world (especially the ugly or unpleasant aspects of it) and it seems to be working. I still lose my cool every now and then, but I do a lot less worrying or fussing for the sake of worrying or fussing. Just doesn't seem like a good use of my limited life energy.

Maybe this is what they call maturity? I'd better go do something silly to offset it, before I start feeling old!

[Zoe Girl]

You've got Dermatological Inscription Deficit (DIDn't).:~)

I tried to work on it, my mother's day gift to myself was a tattoo that I designed. Okay not the most obvious choice considering my finances but I really love it. Still nowhere near what I see on others! It must be thousands of dollars in work.