View Full Version : This culture can make you crazy
When so much of what we are told......on TV, on the news, in the newspaper, at the doctor's office, etc., etc., etc............has a basis in making money.
How do we sort it all out? The dentist says we need an xray every year. The doctor says supplements don't help, but others say they're what everyone needs.
We're on a Do-Not-Call list, but keep getting calls. The CPAP company calls to "see how I'm doing".....but they just want me to order more stuff. Several universities keep asking for money and I tell them we're still paying loans from there!
One day we're told studies show coffee is bad
for us. The next day studies show its good for us.
I am required to get extra functions on my basic phone service, that I don't want. I keep getting newspapers that I don't want.
The list is endless. Soon, I begin to distrust everyone and everything. What is real? What is true? What is correct/honest information?
Its become all twisted because truth is no longer important.............what's important is selling something.
I'm bummed. :(
What I like is finding similar-minded people, like on this forum, who say buying stuff is not that important and choose to live their lifestyle accordingly. The forums I follow these days are about keeping it simple and making smart decisions (Mr. Money Mustache, Minimalists, Tiny Houses, Early Retirement Extreme, plus many more).
My general response to sensory overload is to do a little unplugging until life feels a little more balanced. It always makes me feel like I'm running away rather than actually getting to the root of the problems, but so what? I can't change our whole society and don't want to try (I have enough lost causes in the quiver already). Sometimes I just turn it all off and take the dog for a walk. That usually helps a little.
catherine
11-14-13, 11:36am
I so agree with what both lac and Gregg said.. just create your own world, and know that whatever influence you create starts with you. CathyA, you're already walking the walk and take peace in that! Your own actions--your love for your garden and your creatures are a pebble in the pond that ripple out despite the crap around us.
FB for me has been a HUGE support network. I "liked" links to very supportive websites, like the following:
Attainable Sustainable
Sustainable Man
Inhabitat
Financial Integrity/New Road Map Foundation
Upworthy
I also joined a FB group based on Charles Eisenstein's writings: The More Beautiful World. I get SO much inspiration for great things coming our way someday from that group. Cathy, if you joined that group, you would find hope for the future--everyone there thinks just like you/we do! Forget CNN, Fox, and all mainstream media. Find media that will support you and a better life in general.
pinkytoe
11-14-13, 12:09pm
create your own world
Not meaning to sound metaphysical, but the only reality is the one we create/believe. I would also recommend unplugging for a week. It only makes sense that we all have information coming from every where, you will feel overloaded and confused. It is one of the reasons I don't twitter or fb. I guess if you want to be practical, just deal with the one thing that bothers you the most each day and tune out the others. It is sad that everything seems to be about money...on that, I agree.
http://tinyhousetalk.com/5-reasons-i-like-to-live-simply/
good article on simplifying
--- thanks Catherine for the FB suggestion. I see a couple different pages for him. Can you post a link for the page you joined? thanks!
catherine
11-14-13, 6:15pm
http://tinyhousetalk.com/5-reasons-i-like-to-live-simply/
good article on simplifying
--- thanks Catherine for the FB suggestion. I see a couple different pages for him. Can you post a link for the page you joined? thanks!
Yes, this is the one I joined.. https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheMoreBeautifulWorld/ The best thing about it is people tend to post really interesting resources about cool things going on in the world. Sometimes you have to get past some of the heady intellectualism on the part of some members, but if you can get past that, they are really kindred spirits.
fidgiegirl
11-14-13, 6:29pm
Not sure if you are using a cell phone or a home phone, but one thing I've done on my cell for the calls that are "allowed" is to make sure I log them as a contact in my phone as soon as I've figured out where the number comes from - that way I can skip answering the phone and am spared the anxiety of the whole thing. My sister has a policy of not answering if she doesn't have the number in her contacts. They can leave a message, and you can be spared giving your time to something you don't want to spend it on - their sales pitch.
SteveinMN
11-14-13, 6:50pm
My sister has a policy of not answering if she doesn't have the number in her contacts. They can leave a message, and you can be spared giving your time to something you don't want to spend it on - their sales pitch.
I "whitelist" numbers, too. In fact, if the caller's number is not tagged specifically in my contacts, the phone doesn't even ring. They can leave a message. Tellingly, they rarely ever do. It is a bit of a pain sometimes when I'm expecting a tradesperson to call, etc., but, if it's important, they'll leave a message and I can add them to the list and call them back. Their subsequent calls will come through.
I'm quite firm in the belief that the phone exists for my convenience, not anyone else's. My personal phone, anyway. My work phone will have to be a different deal.
ApatheticNoMore
11-14-13, 6:59pm
If you're just talking about landlines the whole thing is unnecessary. All you need is an unlisted number and not giving your phone number out to businesses. I get almost no solicitations, I get a small charge on my phone bill and I don't have to do anything else.
gimmethesimplelife
11-14-13, 7:53pm
When so much of what we are told......on TV, on the news, in the newspaper, at the doctor's office, etc., etc., etc............has a basis in making money.
How do we sort it all out? The dentist says we need an xray every year. The doctor says supplements don't help, but others say they're what everyone needs.
We're on a Do-Not-Call list, but keep getting calls. The CPAP company calls to "see how I'm doing".....but they just want me to order more stuff. Several universities keep asking for money and I tell them we're still paying loans from there!
One day we're told studies show coffee is bad
for us. The next day studies show its good for us.
I am required to get extra functions on my basic phone service, that I don't want. I keep getting newspapers that I don't want.
The list is endless. Soon, I begin to distrust everyone and everything. What is real? What is true? What is correct/honest information?
Its become all twisted because truth is no longer important.............what's important is selling something.
I'm bummed. :(Cathy, I could not agree with you more here.....It seems that almost every waking moment of our lives is monetized and I for one am AND GOOD AND SICK OF IT! The times in my life I treasure the most have little to do with monetization of anything.....and you know something? Recently I have had some luck with one of those get paid to sites and I invited a bunch of my facebook friends to sign up....The ones who I skipped over and did not feel comfortable sending an invite to for one reason or another - those are the folks that I think highly of and would not cheapen with an attempt at monetization, if that makes any sense.
In this society it's everywhere, though. It helps to have a few quiet, sane places to withdraw from this - mine are the Phoenix Art Museum and the quiet rooms at the public library and my yard. Access to a park or two helps and unplugging from TV and the internet helps, too. Easier said than done for me with the Internet.....And as for phone calls, I screen EVERYTHING these days unless I have recently had a job interview. EVERYTHING.
Some of my sane thoughts about this - I already have that which I need materially, do I really need something else? I have Mexico five hours away and I can make better diet choices on my own and take herbs for various health issues to reconnect with the earth. I can grow some small portion of my own food, and I can avoid eating out as much as possible - I really don't like any attempt at upselling. I know that food service staff have to do this as they get mystery shopped and can get fired for not upselling but I find it very annoying and borderline insulting personally.
I guess my point is to exercise control over what I can control in my life - not being afraid to hold unpopular views or beliefs, having the courage to make choices that support such views and beliefs - this can help to keep your sanity when confronted with near constant monetization.
Rob
Boundaries. Over & over & over! I get dental x-rays every 10 years, because I have awesome dental health. I say no thanks ALOT to providers. And, I screen my calls. Any unknown number that doesn't leave a message gets tagged as a telemarketer in my cell & I ignore them.
None of this causes me to distrust folks because I trust myself, as well as own my right & responsibility to set & uphold the boundaries that work for me, in a kind, assertive, non-judgemental way. It's definitely a practice!
Thanks for posting this, KathyA, I've been feeling really challenged by the same thing lately. I think the place where I go wrong is forgetting there is no such thing as a free lunch. I get lured in by something, only to find myself under attack.
Just a few weeks ago, a young woman came to the door asking me to be in a drawing for $1,000 in free gas. The business she claimed to represent was a housecleaning service. Not surprising - and I was expecting this part - I got a call a week later that said I hadn't won free gas, but I had won a free carpet cleaning. Now we moved into our house in April and the carpets weren't exactly pristine, so I thought that might be fine, do a room for free and I'll hire you to do the rest of the house if you impress me. So who shows up at my house? A kirby vacuum cleaner salesman who doesn't identify himself as such until he's already in my living room assembling his sales pitch for a $2,700 vacuum cleaner. Like a low-level molestation, having this jackass standing there browbeating me in my own home for not recognizing the value of a good vacuum. Sure, I also recognize the value of a good Ferrari, and I'm not buying one of those, either. Then he moved on to the next technique, a little huffy: well, I guess you really can't afford this, then. ... as if the shame of poverty might inspire me to buy one. GEDTHEF-OUTOFMYHOUSE. NOW! AAAK! ... and send in the guy to put in a security gate. http://www.simplelivingforum.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=81&thumb=1&d=1293921872
I find it very difficult to remind myself that all these people spewing this ... spew all over me are just trying to make a living and it's my own greed+hope that allows it; it makes me very radically annoyed that we can't live in a world that doesn't pursue this sort of behavior for the sake of a buck. The sort of behavior that makes me agree with you, whenever a stranger is nice to me, I assume he's trying to sell me a load of junk I don't want. >:(
SteveinMN
11-15-13, 9:54am
whenever a stranger is nice to me, I assume he's trying to sell me a load of junk I don't want. >:(
Unfortunately, the American penchant to make every moment a commercial one leads me to be more suspicious of people than I want to be, so I understand this quite well. Partially for this reason and also to avoid well-documented scams, I stop doorbell-ringing solicitors at the beginning of their pitch. I'm not on board with this method of interaction; don't waste your time or mine. I'm working up the nerve to not even bother answering the door. I do realize there is a human being there even if I don't like what they're doing at that time, though, so I do answer. It's the same with telemarketers -- or was until I simply quit answering their calls altogether. I find myself even a little guarded when people strike up a conversation while we're waiting in line.
It's a shame. I don't want to engage with people under that pretense or with some hidden agenda. But I've gotten much better over time at maintaining that boundary. Be real or be on your way.
That's awful kib........but I probably wouldn't even have entered the contest. I hope you threw him out on his ear.
If I can see 4 dressed-up people in a car come up the lane, I don't even answer the door. (Jehovah's witnesses). If someone comes to the door, I talk to them through the door and quickly can tell if they're selling something. I don't argue about it....I just close the door. Amazing how people can argue with you at your own home about what you do and don't need. I really have no problems being rude to them........
On my landline.........I've turned off all the ringers and let it go to the answering machine. But I still have to listen to it and delete it. Is there a way of blocking numbers on a land line? Drives me crazy......."Credit card services" have been calling alot. The robot says "This is your LAST chance." I won't say what I say back to her. And if ONLY it was my last chance!!
If I don't listen to news, then I don't know what's going on...........like a big highway they are planning on putting through the farmland here, not far away........to relieve congestion. I would venture to say our state has more interstates than most..........so why more??? On a local forum, one person said "Isn't it great..........they've already put the first leg of the highway in here, and there's development popping up all along it!"
My heart just sinks every time I hear this crap. I know eventually I will be forced out of our beautiful rural property. Makes me almost glad I'm old. :(
Hope yall's sunrise was as sweet as ours was this morning. Not a Kirby in sight at 6:45 am. Ooooooooooommmmmmmmm.
Did the sun rise this morning? I didn't see it here. ;)
I do my business communications via email (insurance, library, bank, etc.) and use my cell phone as a pager. Friend calls, I let it ring, call back. I turned off the ringer on my land line a few years ago, after one too many calls soliciting money or increased insurance coverage or political surveys--the list is endless. I've never looked back.
catherine
11-15-13, 1:28pm
I still have a landline, and that's where my spam calls come in. I never answer the landline. Never. I might go through and see if anyone important has called every two months, and I wind up deleting about 30 totally unimportant and unwanted messages.
I don't get any calls on my cell phone that are not personal, except for wrong number calls for some Middle Eastern guy who hasn't informed his contacts that he no longer has my number. But the callers are very polite once they realize I don't speak Arabic and they always apologize profusely.
fidgiegirl
11-15-13, 7:52pm
I'm working up the nerve to not even bother answering the door.
We're there. We don't answer anymore, and if we have a slip and do answer, we almost always regret it. :( I just think we don't need to apologize for guarding our time.
SteveinMN
11-15-13, 10:12pm
I just think we don't need to apologize for guarding our time.
That's a good way to look at it. I haven't figured out why I can do that for the phone but I have a problem doing it with the door ... maybe because I can't see who's at the door (neighbor, solicitor, letter carrier) without being seen myself. Much easier to pretend I didn't get the call. :)
The best thing we ever did was move to a house that was new and had never had phone service. That was 7 1/2 years ago and we've never had a landline since. With the recent tightening up of the TCPA law I expect even the few solicitous calls I get on my cell will dwindle. I have to talk on the phone a fair amount for work, so I much prefer email or text as my communication method with friends and family, and have gotten everyone trained on this fact. As a result it's rare that I actually talk to anyone on the phone that's not work related. The exceptions are my dad and one friend.
ApatheticNoMore
11-16-13, 1:24pm
Well I've had this unlisted # for a decade or so and like I said I don't even relate to these problems. Yes once in a blue moon a solicitor calls (and it's usually the phone company trying to sell me more stuff!) but mostly nope. I'm not on the "do-not-call" list.
A few years ago we moved to a new state and because the coverage from our old cell service wasn't great in the new location we switched providers. We took that as an opportunity to change numbers and significantly decluttered our contacts by only notifying people we really wanted to stay in touch with. It had the additional benefit of stopping calls from former insurance companies, charities, credit card companies, etc. We have a land line number now simply because our internet package is cheaper with phone bundled in than without it (?), but the only land line phone we have is a fairly ancient model that we could plug in and use if there were an extended power outage or similar need. Other than that its sitting in a box in the garage so I don't know if anyone is calling us or not.
I stopped watching TV and listening to the radio almost two years ago. This has made my life much more serene. My phone number is unlisted and I don't give it to companies/request them not to use it. Of course, some still do (such as the phone company, because they know my number ;), but this helps tremendously.
I never ever answer the door. Safety comes first and none of my friends would dream of dropping by unanounced.
Just curious... if you don't answer the door, are you concerned at all that the same person or persons will break in, assuming that no one is at home?
Just curious... if you don't answer the door, are you concerned at all that the same person or persons will break in, assuming that no one is at home?
If someone breaks in *here*, they better know the magic word....
https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-KjK4w5Kuqpc/UeR5wD1UhJI/AAAAAAAAIJI/j5-plF0IwCo/s720/Awesomized.jpg
Just curious... if you don't answer the door, are you concerned at all that the same person or persons will break in, assuming that no one is at home?
I'm kind of like Marion in that I generally don't answer my phone (screen my calls first and friends know this) and also usually don't answer my door. I do have a dog that will bark like mad so don't worry about someone breaking in. And if they tried, and I was there, I would know it anyways and have means to protect myself. I also don't like unannounced drop ins and friends know this as well so always call (and get the answering machine :-)!) first. Although I do it for privacy reasons rather than safety.
I have created a little world of my own to which I escape most of the time ... or which I don't leave unless I really have to. I am consciously keeping myself cut off the news, we don't have TV and radio and I am even avoiding looking at adds on billboards and reading headlines on other people's newspapers in the subway.
It helps me keep my sanity. I figured I would find out were there any really important and urgent news that would directly affect my life anyways. Like when we got floods, subway was not operating and only couple of bridges could be used to cross the river. Well, you find that out sure enough even without turning on super important news about celebrities divorces. I don't need to be overwhelmed by daily influx of groundbreaking half-confirmed information about disasters happening all over the world and spend my time and energy on that. It makes much more sense to me to read couple of in-depth studies or books about the subjects that prove to still be worth writing about and learning from even couple of days after they are noticed by media.
Oh, and one of the best time and energy savers in our family's live is peephole in our door. We simply have a look and don't open the door unless there is someone we want to or are obliged to talk to.
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