Unfriending Family

[24prins]

I'm at a loss as to how to deal with a relative who posts inflammatory Facebook comments (not to me, just general comments). She has very strong political and religious beliefs, some of which I find offensive. It's not a conservative or liberal thing either--I'm used to some of the relatives posting on those topics and I take it with a grain of salt. I'm just starting to get pissed off at the extreme-ness of her views. This is going to sound awful, but I almost wish she'd post something racist so I'd have a legitimate excuse to unfriend her. :|( The latest was her posting a 'like' on a sermon from a minister about how those who don't work shouldn't eat. The week before Thanksgiving. And her family is composed of all people who aren't exactly paying for other people to eat (their 'business' is tax exempt). I soooo badly want to post "Don't worry, honey, I'm picking up the tab" (yes, I harbor evil thoughts about this relative) but I don't want to start a family war. Unfriending her could start a family feud, though, although not as much of a feud as a nasty comment or a diatribe about how she's commanded to feed the hungry would.

How have you dealt with relatives whose Facebook comments make you crazy?

[ApatheticNoMore]

You can hide comments from certain people without de-friending them. It's mostly better not to play the social media game at all (since it seems to mostly lead everyone into situations like this), but people have their reasons.

[24prins]

Does hiding the comments happen after you see the comments, or is there a way to avoid seeing them in the first place without unfriending the relative?

I indeed dislike Facebook. I'm only on it so I can creep on my kids and keep up with the rest of the family.

[bae]

I ignore them.

[Alan]

How have you dealt with relatives whose Facebook comments make you crazy?
Block her newsfeed. She'll still by your 'friend', you just won't see her comments.

[24prins]

I'd love to, but her posts are just getting my goat more as time goes on. I guess I could think of it as an exercise in self-control, but it's somewhat galling to pop on to see the latest picture of the grandnephew and get slapped in the face with a religious sermon.

[bae]

So "unfriend" her. Just because Facebook calls it "friending" doesn't mean following someone's stream of posts has anything to do with your real friendship or family relationships. Click the button, smile, and move on.

Now that you've seen the words, you know they think that way, further words don't really matter anyways, you know what they are...

[24prins]

Block her newsfeed. She'll still by your 'friend', you just won't see her comments.

Thank you! Done, and now I can blissfully keep up with everyone without irritation and without starting a family feud. In another day there will be too many comments for me to even see her old ones.

[24prins]

Now that you've seen the words, you know they think that way, further words don't really matter anyways, you know what they are...

You know, that's true. When the older generation has passed (which I hope is a very long time from now) I'll probably never see her again, not that I see her now. If it weren't for a couple of relatives that I really care about, and who I know would get into a big fight about it, I could do it. I don't like to be rude, but I believe she's being thoughtless by posting such controversial comments where family can see them.

[bae]

.... I believe she's being thoughtless by posting such controversial comments where family can see them.

It's a passive-aggressive thing too. People know you are too polite to call them out on such things, so they feel free to spew their hate.

[catherine]

I had a friend who never matured beyond her militant hippie activist years and still posts hateful, nasty things about you-name-it. I figure blocking her news feed is the technological equivalent to the saying "Good fences make good neighbors." I still consider her a friend, but can't stand her diatribes.

I'm glad you figured out how to tactfully get peace and quiet from your family member!

[Jilly]

No problems with family, but I disabled my account (problem deleting that day and I have not been back) because of racist comments by friends. I really used it to keep up with nieces and nephews and play bubble games, so no real loss.

[Simplemind]

I have family members that I know are wild cards and I never friended them to begin with. Yes you can hide what you see but if they decide to jump into something you have posted you might have a bigger problem on your hands. No guilt by association for me. Even if I did unfriend a family member it would never be an issue with the others. It doesn't mean I won't sit down to dinner with them or block them from family events.

[Yarrow]

My life is much simpler and more peaceful without Facebook in it now. I deleted my FB account a few months ago. One of the best things I ever did for my own mental health...

[Zoebird]

My ILs are not on my facebook. My parents are, but my mother's not on FB because she doesn't want to be.

[rodeosweetheart]

Guys, how do you delete an account? I have one that I would so like to get rid of. and then I don't get messages, it's weird,and people say, "I tried to friend you on facebook and you ignored me." The last person who said this was, I kid you not, my therapist.
I don't need facebook, now that I got a cell phone so my daughter in law can send me photos of my grandson.
I truly hate fb.

[ApatheticNoMore]

Just put "permanently deleting a facebook account" into a search engine and follow the steps*. You want to permanently delete it not just disable it. You will have to not log in for 2 weeks afterwards so the account does not reactivate.

* I'm not going to link to concrete steps because the interface changes too often

[organictex]

totally relate to this thread! in fact, i have been away for sooo long partly due to the "black hole of FB"
sucking me into its field. i actually had to start two FB accts just to keep "family" and "friends" separate.
too much a hassle and i'm breaking free starting today! will start spending more time here and trying to get
my finances in order :)