Originally Posted by
kitten
She might be conflating anger with revenge. I think about this a lot. I'm really angry at my parents, but even if they were alive, I don't think I'd be plotting revenge. They'd be old and infirm, and I'd be obsessed with taking care of them, not getting my revenge on them. But I always wished they had understood what they were doing to me, and how damaging their thoughtlessness was. I always craved their understanding.
I imagine some people do want revenge. But forgiveness and revenge are just two places on the spectrum of possible reactions to betrayal - there's a lot in between!
Good link!